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[Minamu]

Confidence is always in you, but it's dormant in many. It is not something external, though experience and failures etc may trigger it in one way or another. But it is ever-present.

 

[overcast]

So, I asked a girl for her Facebook, when I probably should have just went for the digits. I sit next to her in class though, so that shouldn't be a problem. Just need to find a way to get it done.

 

[zeemumu]

It's a long process that sort of just happens when you push yourself into positions your uncomfortable with. Suddenly what you were afraid of, isn't a problem anymore.

Here is what I see confidence as. It's getting over the fear to fail and mess up.

I define confidence as the belief that you have the ability to succeed, but if you don't, that's cool too. Just pick yourself up and try again. In this case it's the topic of being an awesome enough person to warrant someone else's affection. If you ask someone out and she says yes, then congratulations, you were awesome enough all along. If she says no, then it's proof that your world won't explode if you fail at asking someone out, and you should no longer feel like you're playing a game of Russian Roulette every time you talk to someone that you could be interested in.

 

[TylerD]

For me, the confidence came when I got out of my decently paying but deadend job and into something that pays much better and now I have enough money to date and live comfortably. Also, having a nice car helped but that is more of a quality of life thing for me and it is something that makes me proud.

Picking up working out again has also helped tremendously. Oh yeah, cutting back on fapping and porn too which was more of a convenience thing.

 

[TurboLibre]

The million-dollar question is how do you get someone to be self-confident again?

It's nothing an outside party can do, they need to do it themselves. Me, I focused on getting into shape and finding other aspects of my life I wanted to improve. Photography, cooking, making new friends. Just trying to make myself more well rounded and interesting. Over time I just naturally stopped sweating the small stuff. I started feeling more capable about my abilities and what I had to offer, and that subconsciously started to show in how I interacted with others. The route is different for everyone, but the goal is to just improve yourself until you start to think to yourself "Yeah, I'm a pretty cool guy" in some regard.

 

[Out of Working Order]

This for sure is great advice, as I can sorta relate. I lurk this thread mostly as I haven't gotten into the Dating game yet, but that's mainly because I'm working on improving my shortcomings and self-esteem issues before putting myself out there, or rather having the confidence to do so. Hopefully I'll become a regular sometime next year!

I'm 21 and have been at college for about 3 & 1/2 years without making any real friends. I too, really only receive text messages from T-Mobile and only my parents. I used to have a great friend group back in high school but after we all went to different schools we lost touch and I retreated back into my quiet shell. Also doesn't help I'm slightly overweight (used to be almost 300 lbs. in HS and lost close to 120 lbs.), specifically about 40 lbs. over what I should be. This makes me incredibly self-concious and sometimes awkward in public.

After being fed up with nothing changing and being sick & tired of being sick & tired, I resolved to change myself this past Summer. This semester at my university,I started taking Japanese and met several other guys & gals I shared some common interests with. I ended up joining the Japanese Club a few weeks later and have met even more people now and am starting to form a new friend group. I've also started working out again and want to lose at least 20-25 lbs. by next March.

My point is it's never too late to start changing or making moves to improving your life socially. Sometimes you just have to say fuck it and get out there despite every voice in your head telling you know. I almost didn't go to the first Japan Club meeting at my school back in September because I'd convinced myself I'd be a loser and wouldn't be able to relate or talk to people there - ended up saying "Fuck you mind, I'm going to this meeting". Just get out and have fun, I definitely suggest finding someway to meetup with people who you share similar interests with.

Good - keep at it.

It just seems so hard for me to date. Why, I don't know. I just feel so... not up to scratch. Every woman seems to have lots of relationship and sex experience, and I still can't figure out where I am going to meet a woman that'd want to be with me.

I mean, I've always wanted to have fun with women - casual sex, if I am being honest. But throughout my 20's that opportunity has never come up (I never went out, or mingled with people). And as a 28 year old virgin, I am starting to feel like I missed out on all the fun. Women that are after a casual thing are surely after men that have plenty of experience and know what they're doing, right?

 

[Megalosaro]

I have a problem, DatingGAF.

I've had a crush on my best friend's sister for some time. I once confronted her about my feelings and she turned me down, but that was because she was in a committed relationship.

She broke up relatively recently. She asked my best friend, her brother, if I was still interested and he told her no.

He then told me all of this and explained it's because we're roommates as well, and he doesn't want me to be in a situation where I'd have to pick between him and her which could lead to arguments, which then lead to jeopardizing our living arrangements.

Should I respect his wishes?

 

[Minamu]

A logical cock block is still a cock block. Why would the two of you get into arguments because she's his sister?

 

[maxxpower]

Should I respect his wishes?

You sure he's your best friend?

 

[The Artful Dodger]

You sure he's your best friend?

Idk, if my best friend asked my opinion about dating my sis, my advice would be don't.

I'd be pissed if they did. I wouldn't end the friendship or whatever but it is a hard thing.


That being said, if it were to happen, I mean it is what it is. You're going to have to accept that if it does happen, you'll probably be seeing less of your Bud/roommate, I wouldn't want to see that shit go on. It's not even an overprotective thing, it's just awkward as hell.


I'd move on. It's a can of worms that's best avoided.

 

[youngwerther]

I have a problem, DatingGAF.

I've had a crush on my best friend's sister for some time. I once confronted her about my feelings and she turned me down, but that was because she was in a committed relationship.

She broke up relatively recently. She asked my best friend, her brother, if I was still interested and he told her no.

He then told me all of this and explained it's because we're roommates as well, and he doesn't want me to be in a situation where I'd have to pick between him and her which could lead to arguments, which then lead to jeopardizing our living arrangements.

Should I respect his wishes?

Forget him. What, is he saving his sister for himself?
I'd go for it. Dude should have better things to do than worry about who his sister is dating. What is this the 1700s?

If anything, if he is your friend, he should want his sister to get with you since he knows you are a good guy. Why else would he be your friend.

The brother-sister thing is always silly.

 

[TurboLibre]

A good friend of mine has been saying for years I was going to marry one of her friends. I've been feeling a little more bold lately, so I finally said she should get us all together and see if anything works out. It's a long shot, but I'll do what I can.

Also had two different girls at work tell me they love me this past month. And there's another girl at my new job that seems to have taken a shine to me. So I'm feeling a little more optimistic these days.

 

[nOoblet16]

Maybe she's busy, maybe she's not. Either way the result is the same. I'd leave it be for a bit and see if she arranges something.

Well randomly bumped into her yesterday at university during the day but neither of us spoke much. Around evening she texts me and apologises for not conversing properly as she was tired and I told her I was kind of lost too because I did not expect to see her. Then she invited me over to a pub for a drink, I go in fully expecting her to be with her friends (and maybe BF, if any lol), turns out she was out there all alone, so we get a few drinks and talk for a couple of hours...that was some amazing banter !

And invited her over to Christmas meal with my friends next Monday...so far so good. I'm still not sure if she sees that I am interested in her as more than just friends.

 

[Nachos]

The million-dollar question is how do you get someone to be self-confident again?

Like people have already said, confidence can be considered the reasonable self-assurance that you can do something, and, failing that, the ability to roll with the punches if anything goes awry. Think about it this way: what if someone questioned your ability to do something as rudimentary as changing a lightbulb? You'd probably scoff at them and reassure yourself and them that you could it. How hard can it be, right? Even if you did something like drop the bulb and break it, you wouldn't beat yourself up over it, right? No matter how many setbacks that one mistake might have introduced, you're not going to doubt your ability to change lightbulbs in the future, just as you're not going to dwell on what went wrong last time. As you increase your confidence more and more, those attitudes will carry over to increasingly more and more complex tasks. Did you know how to change a lightbulb the day you were born? Of course not, but you did it once and progressively did it better and better, faster and faster, until it just became second nature. Everything in life is like this. Some people might be more naturally inclined than others, but practice, diligence, and above all else, heart, can bring everyone to the same finish line.

---

Anyway, I've got a few questions of my own. I just turned twenty, and though I've never done so much as hold hands with a girl, I'm certainly not going to base my identity around that. I honestly dress well, have been told I'm cute/handsome, have good hygiene and have a haircut that flatters my face. That's all fine and dandy, but I have a host of problems on the inside. Namely, I'm very shy and have been very lazy for all of my life. Whether wittingly or not, I've basically gone through life expecting things to be handed to me as a general given - and truth be told, I've been spoiled my entire life. My parents asked the bare minimum of me, so I took that attitude to very aspect of how I lived, which has lead me to never having a job, not having as drivers license, not having any friendships I really initiated myself. Not to boast, but this general apathy was so bad in high school that I blew numerous offers from ivy league schools, and though I did end up at a pretty good school anyway, those offers are gone forever, thanks to my stupidity.

I want to change, though. I want to have a fire under my butt to keep me going, to improve my life, and I want to put actual effort in, because I can't rely on my parents forever, nor do I want to. They've done enough, as is. Here's the thing, though: I'm stuck in the boonies at the moment. My parents helped pay my way through school, and when my dad had an accident, he took a paid leave that reduced his pay, making school all but impossible. So now I'm here, doing a whole lot of nothing, but wanting to change my ways, even if I don't know how.

So even if this isn't the right place to ask, could someone point me in the right direction for just improving myself in general? My few friends are away at other schools, so I'm really not sure what to do with myself. I've started exercising again and am looking to start learning how to ride a bike, on top of looking for a job, but I don't know what else to do. Obviously I'll have less opportunities to meet people where I am, but I don't want to blame my situation or environment for things not necessarily going perfectly, especially if I haven't tried yet.

 

[Idde]

Well randomly bumped into her yesterday at university during the day but neither of us spoke much. Around evening she texts me and apologises for not conversing properly as she was tired and I told her I was kind of lost too because I did not expect to see her. Then she invited me over to a pub for a drink, I go in fully expecting her to be with her friends (and maybe BF, if any lol), turns out she was out there all alone, so we get a few drinks and talk for a couple of hours...that was some amazing banter !

And invited her over to Christmas meal with my friends next Monday...so far so good. I'm still not sure if she sees that I am interested in her as more than just friends.

So you're glad you were alone with her in a pub and you invite her out...to eat with your friends? Dude... Ask her to meet somewhere one on one. She already did the same. That should a reassurance

Anyway, I've got a few questions of my own. I just turned twenty, and though I've never done so much as hold hands with a girl, I'm certainly not going to base my identity around that. I honestly dress well, have been told I'm cute/handsome, have good hygiene and have a haircut that flatters my face. That's all fine and dandy, but I have a host of problems on the inside. Namely, I'm very shy and have been very lazy for all of my life. Whether wittingly or not, I've basically gone through life expecting things to be handed to me as a general given - and truth be told, I've been spoiled my entire life. My parents asked the bare minimum of me, so I took that attitude to very aspect of how I lived, which has lead me to never having a job, not having as drivers license, not having any friendships I really initiated myself. Not to boast, but this general apathy was so bad in high school that I blew numerous offers from ivy league schools, and though I did end up at a pretty good school anyway, those offers are gone forever, thanks to my stupidity.

I want to change, though. I want to have a fire under my butt to keep me going, to improve my life, and I want to put actual effort in, because I can't rely on my parents forever, nor do I want to. They've done enough, as is. Here's the thing, though: I'm stuck in the boonies at the moment. My parents helped pay my way through school, and when my dad had an accident, he took a paid leave that reduced his pay, making school all but impossible. So now I'm here, doing a whole lot of nothing, but wanting to change my ways, even if I don't know how.

So even if this isn't the right place to ask, could someone point me in the right direction for just improving myself in general? My few friends are away at other schools, so I'm really not sure what to do with myself. I've started exercising again and am looking to start learning how to ride a bike, on top of looking for a job, but I don't know what else to do. Obviously I'll have less opportunities to meet people where I am, but I don't want to blame my situation or environment for things not necessarily going perfectly, especially if I haven't tried yet.

Volunteer. Doesn't matter what for. Preferably something you'll like, but don't blow things off because you're not immediately interested. That's part of lighting a fire under your ass. Don't not do something because you don't really like it. Sometimes you gotta suck it up. Same goes for finding a job. Flip burgers. Fill shelves. Work in the kitchen of a retirement home. Or fix computers or whatever. And don't get mad when sometimes people don't give you what you've grown accustomed to getting. Good luck. And cool that you're doing this.

 

[Kung Fu Jedi]

Forget him. What, is he saving his sister for himself?
I'd go for it. Dude should have better things to do than worry about who his sister is dating. What is this the 1700s?

If anything, if he is your friend, he should want his sister to get with you since he knows you are a good guy. Why else would he be your friend.

The brother-sister thing is always silly.

I have to disagree with this. The brother-sister thing is not silly. It can lead to some really bad situations. If I hated dated my best friend's sister, and things didn't work out for some reason, it would have been really awkward. I still see her from time to time when we get together, and I can't imagine how weird it would be if we had dated, but broke up on bad terms.

Besides, I can't imagine what it would be like to be living with my best friend and have him in the room next door while I'm railing his sister. As others have said, this is a recipe for disaster really.

 

[nOoblet16]

So you're glad you were alone with her in a pub and you invite her out...to eat with your friends? Dude... Ask her to meet somewhere one on one. She already did the same. That should a reassurance

I will, it's just that she started talking about how she loves wearing dresses and I couldn't help myself and asked if she'd like to come with me to the formal dinner.

 

[Servbot24]

So it's now been over a week since I had my first date with this girl who is honestly way too good for me. She says she's been super busy so we haven't been able to get together again, but we still text each other a couple times a day about random stuff. I just now asked if she wanted to get together over the weekend and she says "busy Friday, not sure about sat/sun". Fair enough that she's busy, but should I be concerned about not seeing her for such a long time, if that is even considered a long time (probably 2 weeks by our next date)? Seems like any day she could lose interest and stop texting, I'm honestly quite surprised she hasn't stopped already. She's most likely talking to other guys as well, which is fine, but I want to make sure I get my shot.

 

[Omegasquash]

So it's now been over a week since I had my first date with this girl who is honestly way too good for me. She says she's been super busy so we haven't been able to get together again, but we still text each other a couple times a day about random stuff. I just now asked if she wanted to get together over the weekend and she says "busy Friday, not sure about sat/sun". Fair enough that she's busy, but should I be concerned about not seeing her for such a long time, if that is even considered a long time (probably 2 weeks by our next date)? Seems like any day she could lose interest and stop texting, I'm honestly quite surprised she hasn't stopped already. She's most likely talking to other guys as well, which is fine, but I want to make sure I get my shot.

1) First bolded is a mindset that is incorrect.

2) Second bolded...why? If she's busy, she's busy. Literally pick a date/time activity and see if she's down. If she keeps putting it off, then you're wasting your time.

3) Third bolded...why aren't you out there talking to other women too? Investment is good, but the fact that this is still early means that you can do the exact same thing she does. Maybe you are and I just don't know it, but remember she's one person of millions.

 

[Servbot24]

Third bolded...why aren't you out there talking to other women too? Investment is good, but the fact that this is still early means that you can do the exact same thing she does. Maybe you are and I just don't know it, but remember she's one person of millions.

Yeah, I've seen a few people over the last month and I'm kinda tired of it. This girl is definitely the coolest I've met yet so I'm gonna give it a shot but after that I'm just going to take time off from looking for dates.

 

[Omegasquash]

Yeah, I've seen a few people over the last month and I'm kinda tired of it. This girl is definitely the coolest I've met yet so I'm gonna give it a shot but after that I'm just going to take time off from looking for dates.

Ah, gotcha. So if this doesn't pan out it'll be fine. Just used to seeing folks rely so much on the possibility of a girl that I always ask. Either way, sounds like you've got your head on a bit straight, save for the "out of your league" bit.

She's clearly in your league, if she went out with you. Using myself as an example, I used to think, even up until recently, that my wife was out of my league. We've been together for 11 years and have two children. Clearly she's well within my league, and was when we first started dating. Otherwise she wouldn't even have had a drink with me.

 

[deejay8595]

So it's now been over a week since I had my first date with this girl who is honestly way too good for me. She says she's been super busy so we haven't been able to get together again, but we still text each other a couple times a day about random stuff. I just now asked if she wanted to get together over the weekend and she says "busy Friday, not sure about sat/sun". Fair enough that she's busy, but should I be concerned about not seeing her for such a long time, if that is even considered a long time (probably 2 weeks by our next date)? Seems like any day she could lose interest and stop texting, I'm honestly quite surprised she hasn't stopped already. She's most likely talking to other guys as well, which is fine, but I want to make sure I get my shot.

From my experience, when a girl says she's "super busy" when asked about meeting up, that's a sign that either...

A. She's not interested
B. She's trying to let you off the hook without hurting your feelings

If a female is interested in you, she will make time in her "busy" schedule to see you, whether it's for a quick 2 minutes or 1 hour visit.

From the bolded in your post, you're making it seem as if you're living for her. Don't stress yourself out over someone who doesn't make efforts to get in contact with you. IF you assume she's talking to other guys, why does it matter that you get your shot?

 

[DyTonic]

Ultimately reason why I joined OKC was to have a fake relationship with someone and use them for sex. That's the honest truth, I'll date etc, but most of the girls there are filled with luggage.

I was tempted at first to get attached, but I have to lose all feelings.

 

[Kung Fu Jedi]

Keep in mind that if you're in the U.S., a lot of people will be busy this week. It's Thanksgiving. They're catching up with friends and family and probably don't have time for someone that they just met. Next week may be better.

 

[Kano on the Phone]

Ultimately reason why I joined OKC was to have a fake relationship with someone and use them for sex. That's the honest truth, I'll date etc, but most of the girls there are filled with luggage.

I was tempted at first to get attached, but I have to lose all feelings.

Yeah, it's definitely the women that have baggage.

 

[Servbot24]

From my experience, when a girl says she's "super busy" when asked about meeting up, that's a sign that either...

A. She's not interested
B. She's trying to let you off the hook without hurting your feelings

If a female is interested in you, she will make time in her "busy" schedule to see you, whether it's for a quick 2 minutes or 1 hour visit.

From the bolded in your post, you're making it seem as if you're living for her. Don't stress yourself out over someone who doesn't make efforts to get in contact with you. IF you assume she's talking to other guys, why does it matter that you get your shot?

Oh, I'm not living for her by any means. Plenty of things on my plate that aren't related to dating. But I've never had this much in common with anyone, so it seems like I should give it a fair effort.

I can believe that she's busy, she has a corporate job at Apple and she mentioned they have a big deadline coming up, plus Thanksgiving is this week. But whatever happens happens.

 

[Darklord]

Is it bad to buy an ex a Christmas present? We still talk and care about each other but it's complicated. Also though, she's having a hard time financially right now and I thought an Amazon gift card might be ok to give. It's hardly a full on relationship present but is it weird to give one to an ex in a situation like this?

 

[Kyne]

The million-dollar question is how do you get someone to be self-confident again?

After coming off a 3 year relationship and hiding under a rock for 9 months I was finally able to get back on my feet by hanging out with people from work. My work friend introduced me to a hot 19yearold college girl ( I'm 24 ) and we hit it off pretty well. We dated for a little over a month and broke it off because we were too different, but it definitely got me back into the game. Now I'm finding myself caring about things like working out and dressing better. I genuinely want to be a better person for the next girl I fall for.

 

[manfestival]

Well Its been a minute since I last updated here.

So I have been seeing this lady here and there. We might go out or whatever. Then last night she invited me to her house(nothing happened really). I brought over monsters university(it was pretty good) and we spent a couple hours just chatting. However, I feel like I missed a big opportunity for closeness(not talking sex). I mean, I know its a big hurdle just going to a ladies house. Any advice on where to go from here or maybe what I should have done? FYI I did hold her while we were watching the movie on the couch.

 

[n64coder]

Is it bad to buy an ex a Christmas present? We still talk and care about each other but it's complicated. Also though, she's having a hard time financially right now and I thought an Amazon gift card might be ok to give. It's hardly a full on relationship present but is it weird to give one to an ex in a situation like this?

I wouldn't do it. Save your money/energy for someone else new.

 

[startyourengine]

Is it bad to buy an ex a Christmas present? We still talk and care about each other but it's complicated. Also though, she's having a hard time financially right now and I thought an Amazon gift card might be ok to give. It's hardly a full on relationship present but is it weird to give one to an ex in a situation like this?

1. sounds like you are still on good terms, which i think leads to
2. it's appropriate to help people out even in the slightest way when they are in need, let alone your friend, as long as
3. you do so in the right frame of mind, you don't do it to expect something back, if
4. you want to do so to get the relationship back, then don't

 

[Misterhbk]

Well Its been a minute since I last updated here.

So I have been seeing this lady here and there. We might go out or whatever. Then last night she invited me to her house(nothing happened really). I brought over monsters university(it was pretty good) and we spent a couple hours just chatting. However, I feel like I missed a big opportunity for closeness(not talking sex). I mean, I know its a big hurdle just going to a ladies house. Any advice on where to go from here or maybe what I should have done? FYI I did hold her while we were watching the movie on the couch.

Should have gone for it man. In my experience, having a girl come over or vice versa (especially if it's late) is an open invitation for sex.

 

[DyTonic]

Yeah, it's definitely the women that have baggage.

Yea I admit to sexual part.. baggage being crazy family, bipolar, etc...

 

[Darklord]

1. sounds like you are still on good terms, which i think leads to
2. it's appropriate to help people out even in the slightest way when they are in need, let alone your friend, as long as
3. you do so in the right frame of mind, you don't do it to expect something back, if
4. you want to do so to get the relationship back, then don't

I don't expect anything back or it to change our relationship. I still love her a lot. She still loves me too. It's just...complicated. She's also been my best friend since I met her over a year ago and I wasn't planning to give a present until I heard she's almost broke.

 

[Servbot24]

I don't expect anything back or it to change our relationship. I still love her a lot. She still loves me too. It's just...complicated. She's also been my best friend since I met her over a year ago and I wasn't planning to give a present until I heard she's almost broke.

If you think that sending a gift would have any effect on you emotionally, don't do it. Otherwise its fine.

 

[NeOak]

I don't expect anything back or it to change our relationship. I still love her a lot. She still loves me too. It's just...complicated. She's also been my best friend since I met her over a year ago and I wasn't planning to give a present until I heard she's almost broke.

If you want to help, do it. I'd suggest a prepaid credit card so she can use that for bills too if she needs it.

 

[Omegasquash]

Well Its been a minute since I last updated here.

So I have been seeing this lady here and there. We might go out or whatever. Then last night she invited me to her house(nothing happened really). I brought over monsters university(it was pretty good) and we spent a couple hours just chatting. However, I feel like I missed a big opportunity for closeness(not talking sex). I mean, I know its a big hurdle just going to a ladies house. Any advice on where to go from here or maybe what I should have done? FYI I did hold her while we were watching the movie on the couch.

If a gal invites you to her house, that typically demonstrates some trust. In cases like that, be attentive to what she's doing...body language, cues, tone of voice, etc. She might not have wanted to knock boots, but she might have, as well.

Not so much a missed opportunity as it is something to think about. I think probably some other GAFfers should chime in here with some advice on how to tell when a woman is interested in sexing you up. I always got where I wanted to go by being charming and letting the gal guide me, and I guess I'm lucky because it never really took more than a date or two.

 

[RedNalgene]

I don't expect anything back or it to change our relationship. I still love her a lot. She still loves me too. It's just...complicated. She's also been my best friend since I met her over a year ago and I wasn't planning to give a present until I heard she's almost broke.

Loan her money if she's broke and struggling, don't give her a gift. If it was your best buddy, would you give him a gift or help him pay off a bill or two instead?

 

[Barrage]

So it's now been over a week since I had my first date with this girl who is honestly way too good for me. She says she's been super busy so we haven't been able to get together again, but we still text each other a couple times a day about random stuff. I just now asked if she wanted to get together over the weekend and she says "busy Friday, not sure about sat/sun". Fair enough that she's busy, but should I be concerned about not seeing her for such a long time, if that is even considered a long time (probably 2 weeks by our next date)? Seems like any day she could lose interest and stop texting, I'm honestly quite surprised she hasn't stopped already. She's most likely talking to other guys as well, which is fine, but I want to make sure I get my shot.

1) C'mon son, no she's not.

2) If you're seeing her sparingly, that's fine (some people really are busy-me and a girl i'm seeing right now each have one night free a week). Just make sure when you DO see her, that you're doing interesting stuff that isn't repetitive. And if she does lose interest, well, maybe you just met at the wrong time.

 

[Servbot24]

1) C'mon son, no she's not.

Appreciate the sentiment, but let's be honest, some people are just in different tiers. She's more attractive than me and way more successful than me. Now that doesn't mean she's a better person then me, or that it could never work, just that it might be a challenge to make it happen.

Loan her money if she's broke and struggling, don't give her a gift. If it was your best buddy, would you give him a gift or help him pay off a bill or two instead?

Would not recommend this. I let my gf borrow money once, and when I asked for it back a month later she said I was being selfish. Never saw that money again. An ex has even less reason to give it back.

 

[Etrian Oddity]

This lady and I were heavily flirting for about two months and had already started going out for drinks; then she pulls out "oh my bf and i are busy that night" card. Hrm. =|

 

[Sn4ke_911]

This lady and I were heavily flirting for about two months and had already started going out for drinks; then she pulls out "oh my bf and i are busy that night" card. Hrm. =|

So in those two months you never asked her if she has a bf?

 

[hydrophilic attack]

So, how pathetic is it to send something like this to a girl that you went on a couple of amazing dates with (for both parties), but who has made it clear she doesn't want to see you again by not responding to texts/not taking calls:

Something about how she is a great person that it was fun to get to know a bit better. And some well-wishes for the future and maybe we will meet on the bus someday.

Yeah, it's pretty pathetic right? But it would help me get some closure and move on.

 

[Kung Fu Jedi]

So, how pathetic is it to send something like this to a girl that you went on a couple of amazing dates with (for both parties), but who has made it clear she doesn't want to see you again by not responding to texts/not taking calls:

Something about how she is a great person that it was fun to get to know a bit better. And some well-wishes for the future and maybe we will meet on the bus someday.

Yeah, it's pretty pathetic right? But it would help me get some closure and move on.

You know the answer already. Don't send it. Just move on. It really won't help with the closure you're looking for.

 

[God Dayumm]

So in those two months you never asked her if she has a bf?

That's like asking a woman for her age.. or her weight LOL

 

[NeOak]

So in those two months you never asked her if she has a bf?

Dodged a bullet.

That's like asking a woman for her age.. or her weight LOL

You just don't know how to ask then.

 

[depths20XX]

So, how pathetic is it to send something like this to a girl that you went on a couple of amazing dates with (for both parties), but who has made it clear she doesn't want to see you again by not responding to texts/not taking calls:

Something about how she is a great person that it was fun to get to know a bit better. And some well-wishes for the future and maybe we will meet on the bus someday.

Yeah, it's pretty pathetic right? But it would help me get some closure and move on.

You know yourself it's pathetic. You only went on a few dates so it's not really necessary. How much closure can you need from that?

I feel like sending a message like that and not receiving a response will only lower your self value. It would for me anyways.

 

[J. Bravo]

dating a girl, we've been on 3 dates so far. 1st one we got hookah with some friends then hit up a bar and talked for an hour. 2nd we went dancing and got shitfaced then ended up back at her house but all we did was make out. and on this date she told me that she was going to make me wait until the 3rd date to have sex. i thought it was kinda weird that she put a date on it but w/e. 3rd date we watched the KU game at bww and then went to see catching fire (Great movie btw). small make out sesh followed in her car.

that was last friday. now for my reservations. i don't think she's cute. like, at all. her face is no bueno imo. idk why. she looks better when her hair is up, but she always wears it down. I sound like an asshole saying this but it's true. her body is decent. she has a huge butt and ok boobs.

her personality is so great. like, she's a huge nerd, loves comic books, likes sports, loves videogames, she's super chill and is an all around great girl. I'm just not really physically attracted to her. I also don't want to be tied down especially given where I work (she works there too, but diff department). how do i break it off nicely? just stop talking to her? I don't really text her and we rarely see each other at work. just the weekends.

I have a few other gripes, mostly having to do with sex, but they are not a huge deal.

edit: I guess I thought that we'd be having sex before this, but we're not. which is kind of annoying. girls have rarely made me wait, and instead of making me want to pursue her like she probably intended, it's just pissing me off and I don't want to wait. so maybe it is about sex.

 

[freenudemacusers]

This lady and I were heavily flirting for about two months and had already started going out for drinks; then she pulls out "oh my bf and i are busy that night" card. Hrm. =|

How much of her alcohol did you pay for?

 

[TurboLibre]

Loan her money if she's broke and struggling, don't give her a gift. If it was your best buddy, would you give him a gift or help him pay off a bill or two instead?

Huh?

I'd give them a gift. Loaning them money is expecting something back, can lead to problems down the road, and can be seen as insulting to some people (if they haven't asked for it).

You've paid your friends bills?