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[Ashes]

(We're finished, but bonus section is still going, see bottom of this post for more info]

It's simple. Name the things you have learnt from the movies. No hard fast rules, it's just a bit of fun... I'll start:

100. Life finds a way. Jurrassic park.

Henry Wu: You're implying that a group composed entirely of female animals will... breed?
Dr. Ian Malcolm: No, I'm simply saying that life, uh... finds a way.

99. You can survive a nuclear explosion in a fridge.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tnGuXXGgVq0

98. A brave man likes the feel of nature on his face, but a wise man knows when to get out of the rain.

[I'm sure this is Big trouble in little China, and not a reference to something earlier. Will check later]

97. Girls will have sex with you if you are delivering something to their house.

96. Paul W.S. Anderson should kill Milla Jovovich and them himself.

95. Minorities have a higher chance to die in horror movies then Caucasians.

94. Don't fuck with Bruce Lee.

93. You can hack your way into anything.

92. In a drag race, the protagonist and villain race side by side, trading places, until the protagonist decides to floor it at a dramatic moment.

91. Mistletoe can be deadly if you eat it but a kiss can be deadlier if you mean it.

[BATMAN RETURNS]

90. You never run out of ammo unless there's no escape

Wait, do pornos count?

______________________________

89. No matter how dangerous the situation the male and female lead have to stop and kiss.

88. GAF can't count.

[we was doing so well till now as well. :lol. I did admitedly lol at this one. And then Narag did the right thing. But then he moved it! Anyways, he had a two parter later so have inserted one of those as jointly number 88.]

88. Never go in against a Sicilian when death is on the line.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eQNHBUqfLnM

87. Samuel L. Jackson is in EVERYTHING. EVERYTHING.

86. 88mph is terminal velocity.

[BACK TO THE FUTURE III]

85. Everyone has AIDS.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5yC7HwPh6Es

84. Bad guys in action movies can't aim for shit.

83. There is no spoon. (The Matrix)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dzm8kTIj_0M

82. Service guarantees citizenship.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SMTz9nIUkGc

81. A guy with a sword will always be able to kill a guy with a gun.

[Although:

]
[can't tell if it's deliberate irony, sarcasm or relevent!] [credit: strike villain, narag.]

80. League bowling isn't Nam, there are rules.

[THE BIG LEBOWSKI]
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WiQmQhA-OrM


______________

79. If a hero dies early on in a movie, or is about to die, it's probably just a dream sequence.

78. Movies based on videogames are always destined to fail. Especially fighting game based movies.

77. Slow motion makes everything seem more dramatic.

• 76. Never go in against a Sicilian when death is on the line.
  
  [*]​

• MOVED TO 88.
  
  76. Never get involved in a land war in Asia.
  ​

• 
  

  75. You should never meet a stranger in the alps.

  74. Love conquers ALL

  73. (fuck it). If someone asks if you're a god, you say "yes!"

  (http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=4051291269015069439#)
  

  72. If you are involved in solving a conspiracy -- your boss, best friend or partner will always be the head of it.

  71. A hero can learn in a few weeks/months what it took a villain YEARS to learn.

  Moved to preserve list integrity!
  70. The open steppe, a fleet horse, falcons at your breast, and the wind in your hair is in fact not what is best in life.
  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6PQ6335puOc&feature=related

  _________________________________________
  
  

  69. I probably shouldn't throw the protagonist a grand feast before I attempt to kill him.

  68. One does not simply walk into Mordor.

  [Lord of The Rings]
  

  67. Nic Cage is everybody

  72. 66. Counting down is hard. (Monty Python)

  [:lol thank you for the counting troubles following this. Funnily right up to your next post. ]
  

  66.65. Whenever someone goes to bed and turns the light off, the room is filled with a soft blue glow.

  [lost numbers again. FYI, a fair few had to be fixed above and below. :lol]
  

  64. NEVER ever show a photograph of your family to other persons. you will die shortly after.

  63. Vegans have psychic powers.

  [scott pilgrim?]
  

  62. Whatever you do. Don't split up.

  61. If you're surrounded by enemies, they will take turns in order to attack you.

  ____________________
  

  60. ..you should not drink and bake.
  
  

  Spoiler

  name that Arnold movie!

  
  

  59. Any movie Nick Cave does the soundtrack for is probably awesome.

  58. Never pay full price for late pizza.

  57. no matter the odds, the good guys manage everything good enough for a perfect ending.

  Raw Deal. God, I love that line.
  
  56. If you are likable and cheat or steal, you will face horrendous punishment (and possibly redemption). (Basic Instinct, Psycho (no redemption in that one).)

  55. There can only be one!

  54. Stormtrooper armor protects against jackshit.

  53. If you cant find your family they have abandoned you by accident or you need to killed a few dozen people to find them.

  
  52. The same hero who takes a beating and feels no pain, will wince when a girl sits by his bedside applying ointment on his wounds.
  [we were back on count from here. And kept to it apart from one last hiccup which Anihawk circumvented. cheers. ]
  
  

  51. Every movie either has a sewer or a slide of some sort. Every movie.

  ______________________
  

  50. You either die a hero, or you live long enough to see yourself become the villain.

  49. If police commandeer a nice car, it will get fucked up beyond belief.

  48. Danny Glover is too old for all of the shit.

  47. Jet planes can bring down advanced alien space ships infected with a computer virus created on a Macintosh.

  46. (Spoilered since it just came out last week:
  

  Spoiler

  Machete don't text.

  45. In order to infiltrate the enemy gang, you must do something to dazzle the boss right off, though you will incur the jealousy and suspicion of his #2 man. Eventually you will trick #2 into something which makes the boss trust you over him.

  44. Silencers can COMPLETELY eliminate the noise of a gun.

  43. explosions can occur with frightening intensity and frequency in a vacuum

  ^
  42. When an over exaggerated explosion occurs it's cool to do a slow motion leap.

  41: Cool guys don't look at explosions.
  
  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sqz5dbs5zmo

  ___________________________
  
  40. Ogres are like Onions. (Shrek)
  (also 39. Talking donkeys can be annoying)
  
  Shrek: Ogres are like onions.
  Donkey: They stink?
  Shrek: Yes. No.
  Donkey: Oh, they make you cry.
  Shrek: No.
  Donkey: Oh, you leave em out in the sun, they get all brown, start sproutin' little white hairs.
  Shrek: NO. Layers. Onions have layers. Ogres have layers. Onions have layers. You get it? We both have layers.
  [sighs]
  Donkey: Oh, you both have layers. Oh. You know, not everybody like onions.
  

  38: Nuke the entire site from orbit; it's the only way to be sure.

  37. Cars can take a lot of abuse while involved in a chase scene. Any other time the car is very vulnerable.

  36. If you are in a forest and running from something you will trip and fall.

  35. Never, ever, ever under any circumstances say, "I'll be right back." Because you won't be back.

  34. Porn scenes in non porn movies will not usually show genitalia, mostly a boob flash and that's it. What a cocktease.
  
  33. There's a passage I got memorized. Ezekiel 25:17. The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he who, in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of the darkness. For he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know I am the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon you.

  32: Take a look at the clippings behind you once in a while when doing a long interview with a suspect.

  31 Fucking virgins is safe sex (Kids)

  __________________________________
  

  30: People drift apart and sometimes there's nothing you can do about it but to move on.

  29. Double-tap. Shoot the fucking zombie at least twice in the head to be sure.

  28. No matter how new or advanced a video game is, it will still sound like the Atari 2600 Pac Man.

  27. A decent rug can really tie a place together.

  26. English speaking Hispanic men and women will ALWAYS leap into Spanish when scared/excited/humorous.

  25. 90% of black characters will utter the phrase "Aw, hell no" or some iteration of "DAYUM!" when they are in a movie.

  24. Afraid of flying? Take of your shoes and make fists with your toes.

  23. Tyler Perry movies are all the same. They're good for what they are but they all follow the same formula. BEST GET YO ASS IN CHECK BEFORE MADEA ROLLS UP IN HERE.

  22. Judging from Woody Allen's films, 99.9% of the New York city population is white.

  21. Don't ever touch a black man's radio.

  _____________________________
  

  20. The most dangerous person in a horror film is a frightened woman.

  19. Will Smith is box office gold, for some inexplicable reason.

  18. Vampires sparkle. They're also emotional. Don't get me started on werewolves.

  17. Bruce Willis is dead.

  Spoiler

  In 6th sense

  16. Never challenge a Pikey to a bare knuckle boxing match!
  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nG_Nwp0wZc0

  15. Everyone prior to the 20th Century spoke English with an English accent.

  14

  Spoiler

  or 15b

  . Aliens speak English with an American accent.

  13. Who you gonna call? Ghostbusters.

  12. Movies like Inception aren't "confusing"; they're "deep," and don't have to explain themselves to you, man.

  11. If he dies, he dies...
  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wqR0Rd4dbfA

  ________________________________
  
  

  10. All Native Americans are gentle souls and speak in broken and cryptic English, that somehow relates to animals or nature.

  9. All black men during the 1970-80s sported either an afro, a moustache, sunglasses, or a combination of the 3.

  8. Women will always have a baby at the worst time possible.

  7. The Asian guy on the bad guys' side always knows martial arts. always.

  6. A 110lb women can easily knock out men twice her size and she won't break a sweat doing it.

  5. Always expect a random explosion.
  

  Spoiler

  originally,If something boring is happening - expect something/someone to blow up.

  4. We're actually IN the Matrix...RIGHT NOW.

  3. You can buy ANYTHING illegal in Mexico

  2. White Men Can't Jump

  01 Who keyse soze is. Roll credits.
  
  Spoiler!
  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=52O8B6yFHGM&feature=related
  
  And that is that. Why one hundred? So I can put it all in the op. Carry on, if you want. take the conversation whereever, I guess.
  _________
  
  And Zero!
  
  

  2..I mean...0. Be a complete dick in the movie. Kill someone. Do something nice at the end? You're a hero.

  
  
  
  
  _______________________
  edit: list is done. If you find a repeating one, let me know. We can bump it off for something else.
  
  
  
  
  
  ___________________________________
  
  update:
  
  and we're finished
  
  from 03:04 gmt to 06:19 GMT. This film was just over three hours, at 195 mins. Which makes it Schindlers list or Ryan's daughter. We just avoided Titanic! 194 mins.
  
  Will update this post from 100 to 0 fairly soon. Some of the direct film references are proving a little hard. Just shows that there is no such thing as a Neogaf hive mind.
  Thanks a lot for participating.
  
  edit: The bonus section seems to be up and running. :lol
  bonus: it's alive... it's alive...!!!
  
  edit: This thread will obviously have spoilers.
  
  Edit: Win7 is awsome for this. Having two windows to copy and paste.​

 

[Kung Fu Jedi]

98. A brave man likes the feel of nature on his face, but a wise man knows when to get out of the rain.

 

[worldrunover]

97. Girls will have sex with you if you are delivering something to their house.

Wait, do pornos count?

 

[WickedAngel]

96. Paul W.S. Anderson should kill Milla Jovovich and them himself.

 

[Unknown One]

95. Minorities have a higher chance to die in horror movies then Caucasians.

Sorry if it sounds racist. It's just what I notice.

 

[spindashing]

94. Don't fuck with Bruce Lee.

 

[Santiako]

93. You can hack your way into anything.

 

[opticalmace]

92. In a drag race, the protagonist and villain race side by side, trading places, until the protagonist decides to floor it at a dramatic moment.

 

[Narag]

91. Mistletoe can be deadly if you eat it but a kiss can be deadlier if you mean it.

 

[Fantasy Final]

90 : You never run out of ammo unless there's no escape

 

[Dabanton]

89 No matter how dangerous the situation the male and female lead have to stop and kiss.

 

[spindashing]

88. GAF can't count.

87. Samuel L. Jackson is in EVERYTHING. EVERYTHING.

 

[Narag]

.

 

[OneEightZero]

86. 88mph is terminal velocity.

 

[Synless]

85. Everyone has AIDS.

 

[Unknown One]

84. Bad guys in action movies can't aim for shit.

Edit: The count is way off
There is 2 87s :lol

 

[Ashes]

83. There is no spoon.
(The Matrix.)
edit: cheers narag. Appreciate what you did there, I mean, countwise.
edit: crap, you edited your post. I don't think: gaf can't count, counts... :lol

 

[Narag]

82. Service guarantees citizenship.

 

[FairyD]

81. A guy with a sword will always be able to kill a guy with a gun.

 

[Escape Goat]

learnt?

 

[Tashi]

80. League bowling isn't Nam, there are rules.

 

[Alucard]

79. If a hero dies early on in a movie, or is about to die, it's probably just a dream sequence.

 

[Jexemad]

learnt?

It's the same.

 

[Narag]

81. A guy with a sword will always be able to kill a guy with a gun.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mur-c5IiWJI

 

[spindashing]

78. Movies based on videogames are always destined to fail. Especially fighting game based movies.

 

[Ashes]

So true. :lol

 

[Alucard]

77. Slow motion makes everything seem more dramatic.

 

[Narag]

• 76.Never go in against a Sicilian when death is on the line.
  
  [*]76a. Never get involved in a land war in Asia.​

 

[Lijik]

75. You should never meet a stranger in the alps.

 

[StriKeVillain]

81. A guy with a sword will always be able to kill a guy with a gun.

 

[Medalion]

74. Love conquers ALL

 

[WickedAngel]

78. Movies based on videogames are always destined to fail. Especially fighting game based movies.

Mortal Kombat was adequate for what it was.

 

[AniHawk]

73 (fuck it): If someone asks if you're a god, you say "yes!"

 

[ToxicAdam]

73. If you are involved in solving a conspiracy -- your boss, best friend or partner will always be the head of it.

 

[Escape Goat]

It's the same.

No its not. Its worse!

 

[Ashes]

The count is now at:71. Post below me should be 71.
edit: Cheers Allucard. and narag.

 

[Alucard]

71. A hero can learn in a few weeks/months what it took a villain YEARS to learn.

 

[Narag]

71 (there are 2 87s and 2 76s): If someone asks if you're a god, you say "yes!"

Moved to preserve list integrity!
70. The open steppe, a fleet horse, falcons at your breast, and the wind in your hair is in fact not what is best in life.

 

[Fimbulvetr]

69. I probably shouldn't throw the protagonist a grand feast before I attempt to kill him.

 

[discohiro]

68. One does not simply walk into Mordor.

 

[Medalion]

67. Nic Cage is everybody

 

[spindashing]

Mortal Kombat was adequate for what it was.

It was okay. Not GREAT, but it gets a passing grade due to nostalgia. It's watchable.

 

[ronito]

72. Counting down is hard. (Monty Python)

 

[demon]

66. Whenever someone goes to bed and turns the light off, the room is filled with a soft blue glow.

 

[Ashes]

72. Counting down is hard. (Monty Python)

Oh Ronito! :lol

edit: the above post is 65. The post below should be 64....

 

[OnkelC]

65. NEVER ever show a photograph of your family to other persons. you will die shortly after.

 

[G-Fex]

64. Vegans have psychic powers.

 

[Hasphat'sAnts]

63. Whatever you do. Don't split up.

 

[-x.Red.x-]

62: If you're surrounded by enemies, they will take turns in order to attack you.

 

[T.M. MacReady]

65. ...you should not drink and bake.

Spoiler

name that Arnold movie!