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Age gap in relationships

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Transhuman said:
That would actually fit in the confines, because 31/2= 15.5, 15.5+7=22.5. But I understand what you mean. A 23 year old and a 34 year old are both rational adults (or at least I hope they are), anyone who finds that relationship inappropriate needs a good faceslap. I honestly think the "rule" looses it's relevance if both people are over 20.
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Yeah, could have used 21 or 20 to make it a bit easier to work with.

As you said, it loses relevance as ages go up - which is why using constants in a formula like that is silly.
 
Older women are usually hotter, so it sounds fine to me, OP. Having a kid, though, I'm not sure if that's something I'd be okay with at this point in my life, but if you are then there's no problem!
 
I don't see a problem, so long as it's between two adult human beings that love each other.

5 years? 8 years? 10 years? 20 years? If real love is involved, go ahead and do it.

I think people who immediately disparage other people's relationship just because age gap are idiotic.
 
Age differences have never been a big deal to me, though if you are dating someone very young (18-20) maturity can be an issue. My wife is 8 years younger than me and it's not something I often think about. Prior to getting married I dated women who were anywhere from 10 years younger to 15 years older, but their ages were never a defining part of who they were.
 
Laughing Banana said:
5 years? 8 years? 10 years? 20 years?
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4-drinking.jpg
 
Age not so much a factor, as opposed to the fact she has a kid.

Sorry "Terrisus", I sometimes think of the Age divide by 2 add 7 rule. Doesn't have to make sense, just seems to work haha.

So if you're 24, don't date anyone under 19. For your SO, if she's 32, she shouldn't date anyone under 23. It's dumb, but whatever, it's not as if you have to abide by anything. But a "man's gotta have a code".
 
Madness said:
Age not so much a factor, as opposed to the fact she has a kid.

Sorry "Terrisus", I sometimes think of the Age divide by 2 add 7 rule. Doesn't have to make sense, just seems to work haha.

So if you're 24, don't date anyone under 19. For your SO, if she's 32, she shouldn't date anyone under 23. It's dumb, but whatever, it's not as if you have to abide by anything. But a "man's gotta have a code".
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Don't see why someone who's 32 shouldn't date anyone under 23.
Or why someone who's 58 shouldn't date anyone under 36.

Seriously, who cares? And people definitely don't need an arbitrary "code" like that.
That's "Madness"
 
ChuyMasta said:
Same age gap here. 30-40. Known her for 4 years, married for a little over 1. We are looking forward to our first kid and I'm already completely aware of the risks and so is she.

Feel free to explore my thread history to see what insecurities I go through but I do believe I'm working through them. Things are looking up for the better now.
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Will definitely do, man. Thanks.
 
I think I've only been with older guys. The oldest was 8 years my senior. None of the relationships lasted very long so I dunno whether that's good or not.
 
My girlfriend's dad is a short, bald, 51 year old doctor dating a taller 30 year blonde with fake breasts.

It's awkward and makes everyone uncomfortable.
 
My last ex and I had a seven year gap. Ended up being disastrous because we were at different maturity levels (she was still in school, I was working).

I've recently met with some other women with the same age gap, but working, and they had a much better attitude about things.
 
I'd get icky vibes if a way older dude dates a younger woman, starting at like 15 years age difference. Both parties look bad. She'd look like a gold-digger, no grasp on her emotions, needs validation. He a no respecting perv, seed planter and money flaunter. Suck on that Community Jeff/Annie shippers!

But I support older female/younger male relationships. At least you have a shot of dying closer together!
 
Why are people comfortable regurgitating shit like the half plus 7 "rule" instead of thinking for themselves? It's like you're taking pride in your own ignorance and complacency.
 
I'd have a one night stand with any woman from ages 21-50 (I'm 27). However, with where I am at in my life, the only acceptable age range is 25-45. I'd have nothing in common with women outside that range, and I'd prefer if the person I'm with is stable on their own. I have no problem helping people, but I don't want to be a surrogate father to my significant other.
 
mugurumakensei said:
I'd have a one night stand with any woman from ages 21-50 (I'm 27). However, with where I am at in my life, the only acceptable age range is 25-45. I'd have nothing in common with women outside that range, and I'd prefer if the person I'm with is stable on their own. I have no problem helping people, but I don't want to be a surrogate father to my significant other.
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Question - why are you fine with someone 18 years older than you, but only 2 years younger than you?
And, don't you think that a woman dating someone 18 years younger than her would feel like a surrogate mother? Considering that she literally would be old enough to be your mother.
 
ComputerMKII said:
It's OK, I've rarely found girls my age interesting either.

When I was studying English at the university I had a big crush on a classmate who was 37 (I was 24). I eventually revealed my feelings to her but she said she just wanted to be friends. My world was devastated.

The following year I had another classmate who was 33 and she was even more interesting - a PhD/Researcher in Philosophy, foreigner, knew lots of things and stuff. We had amazing conversations. After the end of the year I revealed my feelings (by e-mail) to her, too. She didn't answer and we pretty much stopped seeing and talking to each other. The rare times we did talk to each other since then we never mentioned the e-mail thing. A couple years later I learnt on Facebook that she got married and had a kid. My world was devastated again and I swore never to reveal my feelings to a girl again.
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You don't just reveal feelings out of nowhere, it scares people. Ask them for a drink first and see how it goes.

Anyways, I dated a 25 yr old when I was 17. I learnt a lot, heheheheh
 
I guess I've never noticed an age gap out the wild, it's not something I've really concerned myself with. I will say I can understand kids being weirded out a bit when they are the same age or older than a parent's significant other, but that would probably depend on age (18 vs 60 etc). My great grandfather at 80-something married a 60-something year old, roughly the same age as my grandfather, and he didn't care at all, while the grandchildren all freaked a little bit. I thought it was amusing.

I dunno, people are attracted to each other for often random intangible reasons, if everyone is happy and not being fucked over who cares.
 
my friends reacted stronger to the kid bit than the age, yeah

honestly I think people immediatly go 'WOOAH there' without really thinking about it. Unless you really can't stand kids.

Kids are cool, he's already 7 (not like he's an annoying baby), and it's a shared custody (kinda, cause they were never married)


I guess I was never really the kind of guy to reject these sort of situations out of feeling young and with the right to party or that I 'havent done enough yet' or whatever. I've done plenty and I always settle down alright. You can still have all the fun in the world with the right girl man.
 
yeah, im in it. And either way we're all making assumptions here, it's not like I can now where it's gonna go for sure

it's just that its a weird sentiment to some of my buds apparently, guess I get it tho. All up to the person
 
terrisus said:
Question - why are you fine with someone 18 years older than you, but only 2 years younger than you?
And, don't you think that a woman dating someone 18 years younger than her would feel like a surrogate mother? Considering that she literally would be old enough to be your mother.
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Most people that would consider relationship worthy in the future to me are still going through college from 18-24. As such, the person's day to day life is going to be drastically different from mine. The person's life basically has not settled yet. As far someone 18 years older than me feeling like a surrogate mother, the answer is no as I would still be covering my portion. On the other hand, it'd be kind of dickish of me to not cover some 22 year old's dinner especially when I'm not far removed from that stage of being broke.
 
Sure dated tons of girls older and tons younger. Age doesn't matter to me the person does and I have seen far to many people break the mold to assume an age will be defining them much anyway. Well blah blah blah legal of coure.
 
mugurumakensei said:
Most people that would consider relationship worthy in the future to me are still going through college from 18-24. As such, the person's day to day life is going to be drastically different from mine. The person's life basically has not settled yet. As far someone 18 years older than me feeling like a surrogate mother, the answer is no as I would still be covering my portion. On the other hand, it'd be kind of dickish of me to not cover some 22 year old's dinner especially when I'm not far removed from that stage of being broke.
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My sister had finished college*, had a teaching job, and was married at 22. She also bought a house a year or two later.
(*Well, she continued on for more college after that while continuing to teach, but had finished her BA at that point)

Also, I'm broke at 31.

I just don't see why people set up arbitrary age limits, as opposed to just approaching each situation to understand the person and make a decision based on that.
 
I'm 23 and I'm with an 18 year old now. I was talking to this girl for awhile and questioned myself if it was smart to go serious with a girl that had just graduated high school but she is very intelligent, self sufficient and mature for her age so it works. When I'm with her I don't even think of the age difference, I see her as a peer. The only time it is a bummer is when going out to places she is underage so she can not drink legally which can be an issue every once and awhile. Other than that it is like any other relationship I have had.

We are also different races which makes things interesting. She is latina and I'm white. I really like the race difference actually. Each of us bring something different to the relationship.
 
SlipperyMoose said:
I'm 23 and I'm with an 18 year old now. I was talking to this girl for awhile and questioned myself if it was smart to go serious with a girl that had just graduated high school but she is very intelligent, self sufficient and mature for her age so it works. When I'm with her I don't even think of the age difference, I see her as a peer. The only time it is a bummer is when going out to places she is underage so she can not drink legally which can be an issue every once and awhile. Other than that it is like any other relationship I have had.

We are also different races which makes things interesting. She is latina and I'm white. I really like the race difference actually. Each of us bring something different to the relationship.
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I dated a Russian and a Ukrainian years ago thankfully. And one of the really fun parts was the different cultures. Could be stressful too but I really look back on those days with a lot of fond memories.
 
also, just to put it there: dating the 20 year old was a hell of a lot harder (me being 24).

I think she didnt even act her age tho
 
terrisus said:
Aside from the death reason - why do you support that?
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I just get the general feeling that older females and young males would bring out the best in each other. She would bring out the maturity and intellect for him to challenge and aspire to. He would bring out a greater deal of respect to her mind and female body. Chances are if he's with an older female already, there's less pressure on the woman to look "ideal." Plus the mentality of "Make me a baby before I expire, woman!" as seen with old men/young women fades. Again though, that's my general feeling.
 
EulaCapra said:
Chances are if he's with an older female already, there's less pressure on the woman to look "ideal."
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I don't know about that. I probably had a skewed idea of what a 32 year old girl looked like cause I was surprised at her age. I think she's hot as all hell and it keeps being as important to the attraction as ever.

It's not a "well, i'll settle with the "downside" of an older looking girl cause I have the upside of maturity" thing for me at all
 
The age difference doesn't concern me as much as the kid does. But as long as you're mature enough to help out with raising him (which in a joint custody situation doesn't require as much responsibility) and like kids, have a blast!

(Glad the sex is amazing.)
 
terrisus said:
My sister had finished college*, had a teaching job, and was married at 22. She also bought a house a year or two later.
(*Well, she continued on for more college after that while continuing to teach, but had finished her BA at that point)

Also, I'm broke at 31.

I just don't see why people set up arbitrary age limits, as opposed to just approaching each situation to understand the person and make a decision based on that.
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I don't date broke girls of any age. I don't like hard dependencies in relationships. If you don't make at least 45k, you're probably not going to be able to afford the vacations I like to go on.
 
I'm 34. Have been dating girls mostly in their mid twenties lately. Protip: younger women love older men that have their shit together.
 
My boyfriend is 5 years older than me. I typically date older guys; I think only one of my boyfriends has been within a year of my age. In college I dated someone 13 years older than me and that was a little weird. He most definitely didn't have his shit together, either.
 
My relationships have alway been within a year or two of my age. I did once hook up with a 41 year old. She was spunky and it was fun. I don't think I'd want to make something serious out of that, the same goes for someone significantly younger than me. Love can bloom anywhere but generally speaking there's just too big of a gap when it comes to life experience and expectations when there's a big diff in age.
 
You should be fine, OP. I don't think the age gap is that significant in this case.

When I was 19, I dated an guy a lot older than I was. It started out all right but it didn't work out in the end. He had too many personal issues going on. Oh well. It was nice while it lasted.

I tried doing the "normal" thing and attempted to go out with guys my own age. Hated every second of it.

I'm still in college and I'm working on graduating and becoming financially independent before I start doing the dating thing again. Not really in a rush to jump into a relationship anyway.

Usobuko said:
Young girls are much more volatile. Their personalities, beliefs and whatsnot have not yet settle down and are more prone to changes. They are just less emotionally stable in many things from what I had experienced.
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Young boys are just as bad or even worse than the girls.
 
mugurumakensei said:
I'd have a one night stand with any woman from ages 21-50 (I'm 27). However, with where I am at in my life, the only acceptable age range is 25-45. I'd have nothing in common with women outside that range, and I'd prefer if the person I'm with is stable on their own. I have no problem helping people, but I don't want to be a surrogate father to my significant other.
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And what would you have in common with someone who is 45? Or even older than 40? Or even older than 35?
 
I;m really immature, both in personality and my looks, so I always date a lot younger girls. Never seem to get along with ones my age.
 
Went on a date with a 20 year old turning 21 in a couple of months. (im 26) and i could tell there was an age gap. Its just always different because i already live on my own and out of school.

Prefer girls closer to my age to date.

Sex i'll take anything thats hot between 18 and 85, thank you.
 
Josh7289 said:
Older women are usually hotter, so it sounds fine to me, OP. Having a kid, though, I'm not sure if that's something I'd be okay with at this point in my life, but if you are then there's no problem!
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I'm not sure I agree with this. But there much more to dating than looks alone.

I have no issues with age personally.
 
I've always said to myself that I would only marry a girl who is like 5-6 years younger than me. Your wife stays hotter for longer this way.

As for dating, don't really care what the age gap is as long as she's 18 or over.
 
Well... from my personal experience, age is irrelevant. I got married when I was 21 with a girl who was 28 at the time. She as beautiful, we had similar interests. Everything was perfect. Age was not a problem.

We are divorced now.

But the problem was not the age difference... the problem was that at that point of life I didn't have a steady, good job. We were in love, but you can't survive just with love. Some people say money is not important, but it is, specially in a marriage.

So. No... age difference is not important as long as both are mature enough to have a commitment.
 
I met my wife when she was 28 and I was 21. We've always been on the same level when it comes to drive and maturity.

She just turned 40, no one has ever believed she's older than me :P
 
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