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Alone on Valentine's Day? PornHub has you covered...

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Symphonia

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It's easy to be sad on Valentine's Day. It's not much fun being sat at home eating crisps in your pants on your own while your friends spend hundreds of pounds taking their girlfriend's out, prolonging the life of their doomed relationships. Because all relationships are doomed, fact. Instead of being sad about an event made solely to cash in on temporarily loved-up couples, spend the day glued to Pornhub. But not just normal Pornhub, HD Pornhub!

If you go on their site (you already know the URL) and enter your email address you will be given a whole FREE day on their premium service. You don't even have to give them any credit card details.

It's literally a no-brainer. Think of all the HD clips and the full movies that you can fast-forward to around the 25th minute, miss major plot points, rewind it a bit, get the story, then fast-forward again to the 'action' scenes.

You're welcome everybody.
 
What are pornhub headquarters like? Gross I'd bet

poop-on-my-wife.jpg
 
What are pornhub headquarters like? Gross I'd bet

There's this website i don't recall the name of which has this small text above its videos for recruiting and the text is almost literally "do you like to masturbate while you work? we need people like you!".

I mean i know the sysadmin life can be hard but come on.
 
Come on guys if you're working fastfood you're not in the back eating burgers all day



Well maybe a few burgers. What's this anal lodgy I'm trying to make?
 
Come on guys if you're working fastfood you're not in the back eating burgers all day



Well maybe a few burgers. What's this anal lodgy I'm trying to make?

I'm pretty sure you're trying to say that if you worked at a fast food place you'd have sex with burgers all day instead

but will premium content fulfill my danny devito dinosaur fetish

No, but I'm pretty sure accepting Jesus into your life would do you some good
 
I'm pretty sure you're trying to say that if you worked at a fast food place you'd have sex with burgers all day instead

Nooo cuz you're consuming the product with your mouth.

And at the office you'd theorically consume the product with your...not mouth?

I suppose some weirdo might eat flash drives filled with HD vids tho.

Haven't heard of it being a thing but I can help make it so
 
yea i have masturbated about 10 times since this morning

and tomorrow i will be working from 6 AM to 3 PM then studying afterwards. so its ok
 
You know, you don't have to be alone to do this. Nothing says romance like letting your wife choose the porn you bang her too.
 
But Bing video search is free everyday and they give me reward points for searches.

Porn and Xbox live points cards. Top that Porn Hub!
 
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