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Ashley Madison infidelity site's customer data stolen
- Thread starter Black Republican
- Start date
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LucidMomentum
Member
Hey Herbs, were you cheated on at some point in your life? You seem to be going after people pretty hard.
At this point we've got one side calling the other delusional, and the other side calling them naive in response. It's just getting more and more ugly.
I've only gotten in this on the last couple pages but here's a hypothetical for all the "you should never cheat, period!"
A and B are married. They've been married for 20-something years. Actually very happy overall. B gets very sick and can barely handle being touched, let alone have sex or intimacy. B would like to have sex/intimacy, but can't for the aforementionted reasons. A supports B. Should A divorce B because of this, knowing that B would have no way of supporting themselves?
A and B are married for 17 years. For all intents and purposes, they're very happy together. A has a drastic surgery that changes exactly how sex is for them, but ONLY sex. A can still be "close" for lack of a better term. But not only can A now not have sex but the psychological and physiological impact of the surgeries have basically made A frigid to the point that the thought of sex makes A physically ill. A still craves physical affection otherwise. A and B share financial responsibility overall, but A would have a much harder time than B if they separated. Should B cheat or get divorced or just "suffer"?
The first is completely made up the second is actually a real scenario that's happening in my family.
A and B are married. They've been married for 20-something years. Actually very happy overall. B gets very sick and can barely handle being touched, let alone have sex or intimacy. B would like to have sex/intimacy, but can't for the aforementionted reasons. A supports B. Should A divorce B because of this, knowing that B would have no way of supporting themselves?
A and B are married for 17 years. For all intents and purposes, they're very happy together. A has a drastic surgery that changes exactly how sex is for them, but ONLY sex. A can still be "close" for lack of a better term. But not only can A now not have sex but the psychological and physiological impact of the surgeries have basically made A frigid to the point that the thought of sex makes A physically ill. A still craves physical affection otherwise. A and B share financial responsibility overall, but A would have a much harder time than B if they separated. Should B cheat or get divorced or just "suffer"?
The first is completely made up the second is actually a real scenario that's happening in my family.
Nah, just find cheaters to be pretty vile. Especially when they shift blame away from their actions. And then lecture everyone else on why they were the victims and were forced to go cheat. GTFO with that junk.
I'll bow out though. We see cybrwzrd for what he really is.
Seriously, who the fuck are you to judge him? What do you get out of hounding him? A moral victory? You made society slightly better or something stupid? Don't worry I know you won't answer this, because whatever your response is will be pathetic.
NullPointer
Member
Maybe we can all at least agree that whatever your views may be on the cheating itself, the real delusional and naive thing people have done here is sign up for a website designed to enable cheaters only to be shocked and surprised when that data managed to find its way out into the wild. It was a blackmail-bomb waiting to go off from day one.
I'm talking Darwin-Award levels of stupidity here.
Captin Quacker
Member
Speaking of personal attacks
bengraven
Member
If we agreed that people were all different with different cultures and different tastes, then the internet wouldn't exist and NeoGAF would be the first to go.
shadowsdarknes
Member
I've still yet to hear someone explain how they manage to maintain the moral high ground by cheating and lying about it.
Miles Quaritch
Member
When you form your arguments in a way that suggests you're more mature and enlightened than others, you're going to get called on it and then, when you can't properly defend that position and get pissy about it...
Sensitive or? I called his response pathetic because it will be. He is essentially harassing a guy who is trying to defend himself. It's not healthy debate.
Is the "..." Because you can't think of a way to end that sentence, other than "....then he deserves to be harassed and vilified in an Internet forum" ?
because it's HERRRRRR fault!!!!
There is no moral high ground. There's just an understanding that every situation is different, and not all relationships are healthy. Not all relationships have two people working really hard at them.
I think I summed this up pretty well in an earlier post in this thread when the initial breach was talked about:
Nah, you're misunderstanding. They're not saying, "It was morally okay for me to do this." It's more like, "You can understand, as one human to the next, why I would make a decision like that."
Captin Quacker
Member
He's not defending himself, he trying to justify cheating
Miles Quaritch
Member
So he deserves to be harrassed? What do we as a people gain out of tellin him he is wrong, repeatedly? What do we gain? Please, you have to tell me I'm dying to know here.
Roland_Gunner
Member
I'm fine with the other partner going outside of marriage in either situation but only if they discuss it with the other person. They need to know what you're doing before taking a step like sleeping with someone you're not married to.
Brawly Likes to Brawl
Member
My mother used to work for the health department, so I heard my fare share of horror stories about people finding out that they contracted STDs because their partner was messing around behind their backs. If your relationship is in the shitter you need to either leave or have a talk with your SO, there's far more on the line than just hurt feelings.
Can I just say, the certified "Miles Quaritch Rules Of Relationships" is not an accurate relationship guide book to follow.
Seraph_Nicholas
Member
Both cases, A and B should have a long, honest discussion about their individual needs and how best to serve those needs respectfully to each other. If your partner knows and approves, it's not cheating, and you'd have nothing to fear from this, even if you used the site.
If they're incapable of doing that, divorce time. Obviously.
Miles Quaritch
Member
It's a damn good book though. Number 1 best seller on calling out bullshit dot com.
Your loss I guess.
Captin Quacker
Member
Based on how his logic of everyone is wrong but me yea
What does he get out of telling us his story to begin with
This type of debate could go on all day
This is reasonable.
Not all people are reasonable though. Especially when you have the emotion and moral implications around open relationships.
But yeah, even then, it's not so much that the people are worried about their info being exposed through the breach, it's the people's responses to the breach that is basically, "these scumbags got what they deserved."
I told my wife that I was using the site, so I don't really have a horse in this race, other than to be a little bit offended at the mindless assumptions about the countless people there which have had personal info leaked.
Fortunately, it just seems to be transaction #s, location, and names. No CC info.
Ethics Gradient
Member
Nothing. Only... now it makes him think twice about sharing something like that on GAF. I found his anecdote to be pretty interesting, and I imagine it's quite a common type of relationship out there.
I wish GAF wasn't so quick to jump down someone's throat. If we acted perfectly in all situations we would probably no longer be human.
Miles Quaritch
Member
So you believe yourself to hold a more informed and enlightened position to everyone else who doesn't agree with you?
Jog on son.
Captin Quacker
Member
You also had nothing to gain by defending cheaters either
Box of Kittens
Banned
I do think it's fair to say some of the responses in this topic are somewhat naive. I think it would be comforting to believe that everyone who cheats is a terrible monster. Cheating is wrong, so it sure feels good to condemn anyone who cheats. But human beings are complicated and relationships even more so. People cheat for any number of reasons, and while I'd hesitate to call any of those reasons "good" they can be varying degrees of understandable. We are all flawed and we all make mistakes so I don't really think it's fair to just say that anyone who cheats is a horrible person.
That having been said, we shouldn't go too far in the other direction and mistake rationalization for a more enlightened or mature view of relationships. Cheating is an ultimately selfish act. When you do it you're putting your own gratification above the hurt you are causing your partner, not to mention all the other risks that come with it. If you cheat you should take responsibility for your actions and reflect on why you did it, etc. Even if it was in response to problems in your relationship (for which both parties most likely share blame), it's still a poor way of dealing with relationship issues, to say the least. Again it doesn't make you unredeemable scum, but you should still acknowledge fault instead of trying to rationalize and shift blame.
Now, all of this being said, the invasion of privacy that has occurred here is indefensible. Just as one shouldn't rationalize cheating, one also shouldn't rationalize stealing and posting personal data. Long story short, I don't think this is something we should be celebrating as a society just because of who the victims are.
That having been said, we shouldn't go too far in the other direction and mistake rationalization for a more enlightened or mature view of relationships. Cheating is an ultimately selfish act. When you do it you're putting your own gratification above the hurt you are causing your partner, not to mention all the other risks that come with it. If you cheat you should take responsibility for your actions and reflect on why you did it, etc. Even if it was in response to problems in your relationship (for which both parties most likely share blame), it's still a poor way of dealing with relationship issues, to say the least. Again it doesn't make you unredeemable scum, but you should still acknowledge fault instead of trying to rationalize and shift blame.
Now, all of this being said, the invasion of privacy that has occurred here is indefensible. Just as one shouldn't rationalize cheating, one also shouldn't rationalize stealing and posting personal data. Long story short, I don't think this is something we should be celebrating as a society just because of who the victims are.
Netherscourge
Banned
Cheaters got exposed.
Cheaters SHOULD be exposed.
I have no problem with this.
Divorce lawyers will make a killing this year.
Cheaters SHOULD be exposed.
I have no problem with this.
Divorce lawyers will make a killing this year.
exposed....
LunaticPuma
dresses business casual
How do you know they are all cheaters? What about those that looked but didn't do anything?
Netherscourge
Banned
If their name/email is on the list, and their significant other is concerned, the SO can ask them about it.
If the "accused" has nothing to hide, then there is nothing to worry about. They would have no posts or history on the site. If it turns out you have a post history on the site, or some sort of interaction history, well... where there's smoke, there's fire.
There is nothing wrong with investigation.
shadowsdarknes
Member
You could have done that without making this post.
shadowsdarknes
Member
No I can't agree with this.
People made this account under the premise of privacy.
This is family business. Friends, relatives, and your employers do not need to know this.
Let's say in both cases, the person not "getting any" went ahead and cheated. Then what? Is there just a judgement of "you're bad, period"? Or is there more to the thought?
Here's another twist - my family situation is the second one (she's frigid but wants cuddling, basically). She says she won't have sex with her husband because she gets nauseated thinking about it. She's said that if he cheats, she's going to be pissed. They both financially support each other and I don't think either could make it on their own. (So for all intents and purposes, divorce wouldn't be an option.) Would it be better if he cheated but didn't tell her or cheated openly knowing that she has no real recourse? Assuming he's going to go out and do something, regardless.
LunaticPuma
dresses business casual
So by your standards everyone who flirts with someone other than their SO could be a cheater?
What about those that look at others and think about having sex with them?
Captin Quacker
Member
Why would she marry someone who makes her physically ill?
He didn't 17 years ago. Here, here's the original.
A and B are married for 17 years. For all intents and purposes, they're very happy together. A has a drastic surgery that changes exactly how sex is for them, but ONLY sex. A can still be "close" for lack of a better term. But not only can A now not have sex but the psychological and physiological impact of the surgeries have basically made A frigid to the point that the thought of sex makes A physically ill. A still craves physical affection otherwise. A and B share financial responsibility overall, but A would have a much harder time than B if they separated. Should B cheat or get divorced or just "suffer"?
not_so_special
Banned
im pretty sure u arent a paragon of virtue either
NullPointer
Member
not really no.
not_so_special
Banned
yeah yeah burn these people and their private lifes
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