Acerac
Banned
He's right, though. Given your join date, it's especially petty.
But hey, at least you cheated for the sake of your son and not for some immoral reason.
-
Hey, guest user. Hope you're enjoying NeoGAF! Have you considered registering for an account? Come join us and add your take to the daily discourse.
Ashley Madison infidelity site's customer data stolen
- Thread starter Black Republican
- Start date
- Status
He's right, though. Given your join date, it's especially petty.
But hey, at least you cheated for the sake of your son and not for some immoral reason.
Because they're young and morally certain.
I'm sure his kid will grow up to thank him.
ElectricBlanketFire
Member
Too short for this ride. damn.
No one really is. They're judging other people based on their own experiences. You've never been married to their wives/husbands. You have no idea what their situation or life has been.
You should know that relationships are incredibly complex and take a *lot* of hard work to succeed. I've been with my wife for 16 years. She's probably one the happiest married people I've ever known. It's a two way street though.
LegendofJoe
Member
I feel the same way, but I struggle with it. It is really nice to be able to see what friends and family are achieving in life whether it be a new job, moving, marriage, kids, etc. And I feel selfish not sharing at least some of the important things that are happening in my life. I guess you just have to be smart about the level of detail you share with the world. For instance when posting pictures of the house you just bought, make sure people won't be able to identify your address just by looking at the pictures.
It's a tricky issue for sure, how do you balance the desire to share the happy moments of your life with others or occasionally debate ideas without exposing too much personal information about yourself?
Cybrwzrd
Banned
He's been on the high horse all along. I don't think he will get off unless it involves berating me. Same with Herbs. No desire to discuss the subject, just to attack.
You're delusion is grandeur. I'll give you that.
and there's the bottom of the barrel... the trifecta of calling out junior members, correcting grammar, and citing rules to how other members should behave. bankrupt ideas on how to engage in argument. ouch.
how's that grammar high horse your sitting on? I can't see your head way up there.
Pretty comfy. I can see why people ride these. 
I don't really take any offense (as I haven't cheated, though I'm comfortable with the idea of doing it), I just couldn't resist the low hanging fruit.
I don't really take any offense (as I haven't cheated, though I'm comfortable with the idea of doing it), I just couldn't resist the low hanging fruit.
also, you would want to use the conjugated "you're" in that middle, uh, sentence.
ElectricBlanketFire
Member
So then it has nothing to do with age?
I've been discussing it. You berated people for being irrational if they disagreed with you.
Cybrwzrd
Banned
At least you are having fun. I guess it's perfectly OK to harass/be rude/mean to someone just because they have an unpopular opinion.
Much like so many people in this thread who think its great that this data was leaked.
Nah, age is a big part of it. I remember being in my early 20s and having clear black and white views on things, as did all my friends.
It also betrays a greater lack of anecdotal experience, where someone with more experience would begin to understand the nuances of monogamy and relationships.
He doesn't see that. You could pull all of his ridiculous quotes and he still wouldn't see that, much like someone calling people out for sitting on a high horse and then proclaiming they have all the answers and know how people should behave. It's perpetual cognitive dissonance. I mean, christ, the high horse guy says he has the happiest wife in the world and yet he thinks he's a-ok cheating on her. Fucking insane.
Who are the reporters I can follow covering this story about countries that have death as punishment for adultery and homophobic laws?
I saw some info on there being 1200 Saudi Arabian email addresses but it wasn't a journalist covering this topic. SA has death as punishment for cheating, correct?
I saw some info on there being 1200 Saudi Arabian email addresses but it wasn't a journalist covering this topic. SA has death as punishment for cheating, correct?
Cybrwzrd
Banned
Well, it is irrational. I'm not saying it as an insult. I understand that emotionally it feels good to be against cheating. And in many (edit) if not MOST cases it is not an acceptable thing to do. But to take such a hard line stance that it is never acceptable is irrational.
I too look forward to the day when I can see nuance in relationships and feel comfortable with the idea of cheating on my SO (who would still be trusting me lmao what a sucker).
What's irrational was not using appropriate contraception with someone you barely knew, marrying said person who you were not in love with, and wasting 10 yrs in a loveless/sexless marriage, and using all those mistakes to justify cheating. There were other decisions you could have made in all those steps before going into 'cheating is the best solution' territory.
What's irrational was not using appropriate contraception with someone you barely knew, marrying said person who you were not in love with, and wasting 10 yrs in a loveless/sexless marriage, and using all those mistakes to justify cheating. There were other decisions you could have made in all those steps before going into 'cheating is the best solution' territory.
all you have to do is step down from that proverbial high horse. go ahead. walk in the promised land... there's even grammar correction there!
Captin Quacker
Member
Truly the blessed land
Breach even worse than it looked two days ago, now includes website and app source code as well as the CEO's correspondence.
indeed
Cybrwzrd
Banned
Yes, and many other decisions were made. You have a 100,000 ft view of my life, and you are trying to tell me the details of what I did and didn't do like you know me. I too look forward to the day that I have that much clairvoyance.
Avid Media owned.
ElectricBlanketFire
Member
You shifted blame entirely to the woman. Surely you would agree that offers us insight into your personality?
D'ultimate
Member
Isn't that what people in those/these situations do? Does it really matter? If that's how he felt that's how he felt.
The point is that he was at a point in his relationship that he felt like that and it may or may not have contributed to his infidelity. Life does that.
Cybrwzrd
Banned
Hey, when you bust your ass trying to make a relationship work and are promised over and over again that she will change even tho the goal post changes each time, you develop resentment. Look I'm happy you have a nice marriage, but not everyone does.
You guys know that being cheated on hurts A LOT right? It's fucking devastating. You can say that we're immature or young or whatever for having these morals but you can't say that it isn't wrong to cheat. Go ahead and stick to your reasoning behind it. Just know that it's devastating for the other person and it's not right.
Miles Quaritch
Member
Shifting the blame for your own mistakes onto others is what people do in those situations?
So it's his wife's fault she got pregnant? She should have been the only one to be using contraception right? That's the woman's job.
Maybe if he had had the common sense to...
His youth and dreams wouldn't have been stolen and he wouldn't be so bitter and resentful.
I'm 36 and in my second marriage; it's not about age. Cheating is wrong, period. Be honest with your partner. And this, I missed this gem:
This is actually victim-blaming, and it's disgusting.
Ingueferroque
Banned
This does not seem to be the right thread for that particular conversation. And relationships aren't as binary as you describe it, I know you're upset and hurt, but you know it isn't that black/white.
Cybrwzrd
Banned
You know what also hurts? Being denied intimacy because of "reasons". Even when you do everything you can to make the other person happy for years, they still just manipulate you like Lucy uses a football on Charlie Brown by using sex and intimacy as a method of getting what they want in a relationship. Cheating is a terrible thing to do if in a happy, stable relationship. Not all relationships work like that, and sometimes a person can feel trapped and need an escape.
Again, I will repost this again for clarity - since I can't say it better myself. From this TED talk - www.youtube.com/watch?v=P2AUat93a8Q
Esther Perel said:
So in the end, you decide on some form of selfish act anyways. Either way you've destroyed any trust, so why not just get divorced when you really feel you're gonna cheat? Why lie to them and yourself? And again, this is all because you started with a sham. In the end, you're doing nothing but wasting everyone's time.
Cybrwzrd
Banned
Um, I already said that I am in the middle of a divorce now.
Miles Quaritch
Member
You're arguing with someone who doesn't see himself at fault at any stage. It's the others fault. The others fault for getting pregnant. The other fault for forcing him to get married. The others fault for trapping his and stealing his future.
How far into the 9 years did you start thinking about cheating? Because that was when you should of pulled the plug, or issued one last ultimatum before doing so.
You're right, and going further will just be bringing out more of his sad luck. I'll drop it.
Cybrwzrd
Banned
Gonna say this nicely, go climb a tree. Never said I don't have fault for not using protection. Never said I was forced to get married. I did say I was held hostage though by a nuclear bomb called losing my son. Now shut up and go back in your hole troll.
holy christ this guy just doesn't get it.
LegendofJoe
Member
If his wife is okay with not having intimacy in her marriage (which by his posts it seems like she is) and he isn't, but neither one of them want to get a divorce because of the implications it would have for their child then I see absolutely nothing wrong with them agreeing to have an open marriage. If she's against that as well, then he really doesn't have a choice. It's either stay in a sham marriage and cheat or get a divorce and be 6,000 miles away from your son. Expecting him to live with having no intimacy in his life is freaking ridiculous, anyone advocating that he should do that is clueless.
no one's advocating that. he cheated without her knowledge as he himself said it was an affair.
Please explain then.
Honestly at this point why are you arguing with them? The same posters in these same threads who clearly lack any real life experiences come in and try to tell everybody exactly what a relationship is.
Listen up. Relationships are different. All of them. None are as ideal as you same repeat offenders like to make them out to be. You don't know this because you're likely not an adult yet, or have not shared close intimate human interaction with another person for a long time, or ever.
Cybrwizard, take your ball and go home. This isn't debate, it's an argument. If you argue with fools long enough you soon can't tell the difference between both sides. You've made life choices, don't keep posting here trying to defend yourself, it's pointless. I understand why you're doing so but you are just giving these guys satisfaction. These guys just like shit piling on people. No matter what you've done, nobody deserves that.
Listen up. Relationships are different. All of them. None are as ideal as you same repeat offenders like to make them out to be. You don't know this because you're likely not an adult yet, or have not shared close intimate human interaction with another person for a long time, or ever.
Cybrwizard, take your ball and go home. This isn't debate, it's an argument. If you argue with fools long enough you soon can't tell the difference between both sides. You've made life choices, don't keep posting here trying to defend yourself, it's pointless. I understand why you're doing so but you are just giving these guys satisfaction. These guys just like shit piling on people. No matter what you've done, nobody deserves that.
you're right, someone so delusional and out of touch with reality should just walk away. great advice.
LegendofJoe
Member
If he tried the open marriage approach first and she didn't agree to it then this happening was inevitable. You can't deny someone intimacy for years and expect that need to just go away.
Eppy Thatcher
God's had his chance.
When I was like 22 or 23 me and my roomate got HAMMERED drunk and came up with the genius plan that AshleyMadison was probably a super easy way to filter/organize/arrange/repeat some cougar hookups in our area and we both made free accounts that night laughing our asses off.
Pretty sure i forgot about it the next day. Hope my email rolls up cause i want sommadat movie check. Fo sho.
This may be an extreme example of this but doesn't everyone who cheats kind of take on some danger to the stability in their life that they might get found out? Sure - normally some hacker doesn't infiltrate your life and spread your technical underwear all over the place but at the same time maybe Sally from HR sees you and your side piece out at Big Mike's Banging Bar(mitzfah) and Sally tells your neighbor and your neighbor tells your wife and then before you know it your 9 irons are all bent up inside your 17inch rims on the Volvo.
..... i just blacked out.
Pretty sure i forgot about it the next day. Hope my email rolls up cause i want sommadat movie check. Fo sho.
This may be an extreme example of this but doesn't everyone who cheats kind of take on some danger to the stability in their life that they might get found out? Sure - normally some hacker doesn't infiltrate your life and spread your technical underwear all over the place but at the same time maybe Sally from HR sees you and your side piece out at Big Mike's Banging Bar(mitzfah) and Sally tells your neighbor and your neighbor tells your wife and then before you know it your 9 irons are all bent up inside your 17inch rims on the Volvo.
..... i just blacked out.
Miles Quaritch
Member
I'd ask what this mean in that context because it sure as hell sounds like you shifting blame and responsibility for the situation your actions got you into.
You're playing the victim and you have been before you even entered this thread and began arguing that people who don't believe in cheating aren't enlightened.
I'm sorry you being called on your bullshit is upsetting you and you don't have a cosy echo chamber to bury your sorrows in and for people to line up and pat on you back for enduring such hardships.
Your continued attempts to try and paint yourself as both victim and saint are sad and pathetic, but I'll stop calling you on your bullshit so you can go back to avoiding being called out and continue to paint yourself as the hard done by martyr.
- Status