At first I thought, what sort of complete moron would pay $700 for an HDMI cable? I mean, this could only be marketed by unethical jerks and purchased by rubes who also believe in Corinthian Leather.
Boy was I wrong! I mean sure, the cable did reach the entire 6.6 feet it was advertised to. But then, both video AND sound came out of it. Like some miraculous A/V faucet. It fit right into both sockets on the TV and DVD player perfectly, like it was made for them.
But once I got bored with that I started checking out some of its other value-added features. You can tie it into a knot in case you need to tie something in a knot. You can use it to spank your children if they start trying to touch your TV or DVD player. I was able to pull it tight between two fixed objects and hang 6.6 feet of wet laundry from it to dry. My neighbor came over and I was showing off NASCAR on my sweet HDMI powered TV, but he kept getting distracted by the cable. Once I explained to him that this was 6.6 feet of miracle, he was like, "I wish I had one." Then he killed himself. That part was sad, especially since I didn't get a chance to tell him where to buy it. He didn't have $700 anyway so it might be for the best. But his wife saw it too and now we are dating. When I go to church, I like to use the cable as a belt because I figure a cable this good must come from God and he would enjoy seeing it again.
Look, this HDMI cable changed my life. And it will probably change yours too. In a good way, i mean.