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Biggest douchebag animal?

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DonMigs85

DonMigs85

Member
SolidusDave said:
I just saw a gif which makes snapping turtles the douchebag animal of the day for me :(


warning, it's quite gruesome (though no humans involved, just a mouse...), so I won't put it in tags

http://imgur.com/G5HLB.gif


the gif also shows that mice are the most awesome animal of the day...


...until a douchebag snapping turtle strikes AGAIN



boy do I not want to go near them or accidental step on them in the water D:
Click to expand...
I wonder if I could still swim with my guts hanging out...
 
Amakusa

Amakusa

Member
OuterWorldVoice said:
I live in your house. I eat all your food. I defecate IN your house. I can't do tricks. I harbor parasites and allergens. I am made of destructive barbs. I wreck your furniture. I am territorial. I cannot guard your house. I don't do shit except slowly devalue your property.

I am a douchebag. If I were a room mate, a passive aggressive gaf-er would be asking how to get rid of me.

http://laughingsquid.com/wp-content/uploads/douchebag-cat-20100416-102759.jpg
Click to expand...

^
My vote
 
H

Hydranockz

Member
Yeef said:
Scary_door_3.jpg
Click to expand...
Came in expecting this. Was not disappointed ^^

As irrelevant as it is to the meaning of 'Animal' :lol
 
V

vertopci

Member
Amakusa said:
animalswallpapers13jpgj.jpg


^
Those little fuckers, yeah they're cute and fluffy but don't let that fool you!
Without warning he could bite you.... really really HARRD!
Don't trust them : (
Click to expand...

Hey man, leave the cute bunnies out of this.
 
S

SolidusDave

Member
funkmastergeneral said:
How is that a douche bag? He's hungry.
Click to expand...

well, the turtle should kill it properly and fast before eating it. Not let half of it swim away (which in addition should have made the turtle say "wow" and leave the mouse alone so it can get some robotic legs, but noooo it's too much of a douche for that)
 
S

Sinatar

Official GAF Bottom Feeder
Bed Bugs, Bed Bugs, Bed Bugs, BED BUGS, BEEEEDDD BUUGGGSSSS

I'd nuke the entire planet with radioactive flaming death happy in the knowledge that I'd be killing these fuckers.
 
P

Parallax

best seen in the classic "Shadow of the Beast"
Shurs said:
Dolphins: Nature's attention whores.
Click to expand...
Im suprised it took this long to be mentioned. Its either dolphins or cats. But holy fucking shit at the hippo thing. Thats way over the line of excess
 
P

Pulka

Member
SolidusDave said:
I just saw a gif which makes snapping turtles the douchebag animal of the day for me :(


warning, it's quite gruesome (though no humans involved, just a mouse...), so I won't put it in tags

http://imgur.com/G5HLB.gif


the gif also shows that mice are the most awesome animal of the day...


...until a douchebag snapping turtle strikes AGAIN



boy do I not want to go near them or accidental step on them in the water D:
Click to expand...
:C
 
D

DemiMatt

Member
SolidusDave said:
well, the turtle should kill it properly and fast before eating it. Not let half of it swim away (which in addition should have made the turtle say "wow" and leave the mouse alone so it can get some robotic legs, but noooo it's too much of a douche for that)
Click to expand...

1271384-untitled_1_copy.jpg


"Well, that was just about the most aweful thing ive ever seen"
 
G

G-Fex

Member
Wasps are my bitch. I spray em with poison, I'll chew the motherfuckers and spit them out for their friends to see.
 
D

deadmuffin

Member
gopherlawndamage.jpg


fucking gophers...first they leave a trail of destruction on your lawn wherever they go, and once you kill one, another one uses the tunnels the first one dug up and expands forward...hard as hell to get rid of as well
 
1

123rl

Member
That turtle video is kind of creepy. And I actually mean HOLY FUCK DO NOT WANT!!

My vote goes to the Porcupine or the Botfly (sorry for mentioning...it)
 
G

G-Fex

Member
SolidusDave said:
I just saw a gif which makes snapping turtles the douchebag animal of the day for me :(


warning, it's quite gruesome (though no humans involved, just a mouse...), so I won't put it in tags

http://imgur.com/G5HLB.gif


the gif also shows that mice are the most awesome animal of the day...


...until a douchebag snapping turtle strikes AGAIN



boy do I not want to go near them or accidental step on them in the water D:
Click to expand...

Turtle power!
 
E

El Sloth

Banned
Ducks are the biggest douchebags on the planet.

16k7y9d.jpg


^Those fuckers right there.

"But El Sloth, ducks are chill animals!"

No the fuck they are not. Wanna how duck babies are born? Through Duck Rape. That's right Duck Rape.

It's gotten so bad that females have evolved their anatomy to "block" rape.

Yes the females have evolved a maze like vagina to prevent being impregnated through rape. But of course the males aren't giving up that easily. They have in turn evolved incredibly long drill shaped duck penises. Observe:

30i8g13.jpg

"GET OVER HERE!"

But that's not all. There has been a recorded case of a male duck attempting to rape another male but in the process of his escape the other male duck met his end with a window. Rape Duck didn't give a fuck.

That's right. Necrophiliac Rapist Ducks. What animal is the biggest douchebag in the animal kingdom? Fucking ducks, that's what.

They're even trolling you on GAF.
thavatar2882_16gif.png

Just look at this smarmy motherfucker.

Dolphins are close fucking second though. Oh yeah, they also hunt for fun(Dolphins I mean). Just like us!

nd3br7.jpg

"That's right I kill baby animals for fun. So what? So do you fuckers. Oh yeah and when I wanna get it on with a hot chica with a kid? I just use my super sonar powers to deliver ninja dolphin killing blows to the little ruddy bastard, removing him from the equation. And I pop my collars."
 
F

Four_Chamber

Member
Wasps alway built a nest near my garage when I was little. When it would rain I would take my Super Soaker and go to town on them. :lol
 
S

SolidusDave

Member
Ducks said:
Son of a bitch
Click to expand...

:lol :lol


I love this kind of stuff.

"viciouskillersquirrel" vs. "Squirrel Killer" in the "I am SICK and TIRED of these mother-fucking SQUIRRELS in my garage!" thread was so good :lol
 
M

Munin

Member
Flies fucking suck, they're the guidos of the animal world. They look like shit and go around your house thinking they own the place. Fucking assholes.
 
Melchiah

Melchiah

Member
OuterWorldVoice said:
I live in your house. I eat all your food. I defecate IN your house. I can't do tricks. I harbor parasites and allergens. I am made of destructive barbs. I wreck your furniture. I am territorial. I cannot guard your house. I don't do shit except slowly devalue your property.

I am a douchebag. If I were a room mate, a passive aggressive gaf-er would be asking how to get rid of me.

http://laughingsquid.com/wp-content/uploads/douchebag-cat-20100416-102759.jpg
Click to expand...

I like your way of thinking.
 
B

Byakuya769

Member
European Cuckoos, hands down. This fucking free loader lays her egg in another bird species' nest. Then the fucking pieces of shit hatch first and push out the biological "children". The sad unsuspecting parents then raise a murderer as their own, who isn't even their own species. Adoption from hell.
EuropeanCuckoo35027.jpg
 
M

Mrs. Manky

Banned
African Honey Badger.

Will take on any animal, regardless of size. Eats honey and bee larvae by thrusting its head into a beehive and munching away, impervious to the stings. Will attack a male lion by going for the testicles. In a recorded instance, stole a rat from a puff adder and ate it, went for the snake, passed out from the venom, then woke up and proceeded to finish eating the snake.

Also plays the vuvuzela. (Okay, I made that part up)
 
J

JessicaPadkin

Member
Ducks are really fucking unpleasant, no doubt. Apparently this is pretty common, but I once also had a frog in my pond that squeezed and killed one of the goldfish when attempting to hump it. What a dick!
 
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