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Conan: The Barbarian. If you do not like this movie, then the hell with you!

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S

Suairyu

Banned
As others have stated, the score is impeccable. I would go as far as to say it is one of the greatest (as in, top 10 of everything written ever) film scores ever composed. Elements of it ascend even higher and become simply great orchestra music that stands tall in the wider pantheon of musical works outside of cinema alone.

Perfect roll of Arnold. Weird accent and poor speech justifiable in story. Physical peak of a man. Fantastic (but not Great) cinematography in places.

Also, he punches a camel unconscious. That right there is the manliest thing ever committed to film.
 
B

Baha

Member
GillianSeed79 said:
I always get order of these confused. There was the one James Earl Jones and the snake
There was the one with Grace Jones and the mirror dude. Which was the horn ripping off the monster one?Also then there's Red Sonja, the spin-off right? I should know this because I grew up in the 80s.

I remember liking the one with the mirrors and the one with booby trapped temple. It could be the same one though.
Click to expand...

The one with James Earl Jones is Conan the Barbarian and the one with the mirrors and the horn ripping off is Conan the Destroyer.
 
Hari Seldon

Hari Seldon

Member
Baha said:
The one with James Earl Jones is Conan the Barbarian and the one with the mirrors and the horn ripping off is Conan the Destroyer.
Click to expand...

Conan the Barbarian is also the only one with nudity IIRC.
 
R

Retro

Member
qnYt4.jpg


You know you were thinking it. :lol

Great movie. GREAT soundtrack. Not-so-great-but-still-pretty-cool sequel.
 
J

JdFoX187

Banned
GillianSeed79 said:
I always get order of these confused. There was the one James Earl Jones and the snake
There was the one with Grace Jones and the mirror dude. Which was the horn ripping off the monster one?Also then there's Red Sonja, the spin-off right? I should know this because I grew up in the 80s.

I remember liking the one with the mirrors and the one with booby trapped temple. It could be the same one though.
Click to expand...
Conan the Barbarian is the one with James Earl Jones as Thulsa Doom, who can turn into a snake.

Conan the Destroyer is the one with Grace Jones as the badass chick. It's the one where Conan goes after the horn with the princess. This is also the movie with the mirrors.

Red Sonja stars Arnold, but it's the one about a warrior chick to bring back the Talisman from an evil queen.
 
M

Mollymauk

Member
hylje said:
full
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William Smith, one of the baddest dudes of all time. The real deal.

Child-actor, fluent in five languages, Korean War hero, intelligence agent, college teacher, boxer, football star, motocross racer, record setting powerlifter, B-movie superstar, the last of the Marlboro Men.

They could make a movie of his life but how could they squeeze all that into just two hours?
 
A

Askani

Member
Hell yes Conan! So good.

I really should do a rewatch of this and get back into the Conan universe.

Also, I have a bored King Conan figure that someone gave me some time ago. He's kept watch over me and my computer desk for a years now.
 
Melchiah

Melchiah

Member
bloodydrake said:
ahh Conan the Barbarian.. one of the all time great fanatasy movies..where adult fantasy movies were still allowed to be Restricted for a mature audience.

Add The Sword and the Sorcerer to the list as another great 80's classic that wasn't made for kids.
the-sword-and-the-sorcerer-movie-poster-1020193518.jpg
Click to expand...

Here's a hilarious scene from Ruggero Deodato's 1987 film The Barbarians (a.k.a. The Barbarian Brothers): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V6BAd7xJuU0

fZVRj.jpg

roRP0.png

ciUCf.png


The director is also responsible for Cannibal Holocaust.

I wish I could remember the name of the barbarian film I liked as a kid. The only thing I remember about it, is that it ended with a fight against a giant spider. It might have been made in Italy or Spain, probably in eighties?


edit: typo
 
C

Cheerilee

Member
Red Sonja was supposed to be a real Conan spinoff, intended to star the woman who played Valeria in the first movie (most likely as Valeria, not Red Sonja) with Arnie/Conan as a guest star, but she turned the lead role down, and asked to play the villian instead. Valeria remains the high point of her career.

Then they found Brigitte Neilsen to replace her, and got Arnie to come back as Conan, but some sort of licensing issue prevented them from calling him Conan.
 
R

RyanDG

Member
It's a shame that the sequel to Conan was absolutely abysmal. It was like they didn't even understand what made the first one good to begin with.
 
P

PepsimanVsJoe

Member
RyanDG said:
It's a shame that the sequel to Conan was absolutely abysmal. It was like they didn't even understand what made the first one good to begin with.
Click to expand...

Apparently the first Conan movie was really popular among children so the second movie was directed with them in mind. That's probably why there were totally corny moments like Conan running into the same Camel he punched out in the first movie (he even points it out to his buddy who wasn't in the first one. WTF?) and that whole fight with the monster (where at one point Conan gets thrown into an airplane spin. WTF????)

I think as much as kids wanted to see Arnold they also wanted to see him kill the shit out of shit. Instead they got Arnold getting dumped on worse than Kindergarten Cop.

Same thing happened with Robocop. The first two movies were pretty hard Rs (and even unrated) and yet eventually it got a couple shitty TV shows and a third movie that was absolute balls. All everyone wants to see is Robocop with big fucking guns just fucking up the lowest of low-lifes and they put him in a shit-ass cartoon where he's going out on dates with Anne Lewis and some TV series where he's probably writing tickets or helping old ladies cross the road.

Conan The Barbarian is still a classic. Yeah it's dated in some ways but the soundtrack is perfect, same with the writing, and it carries itself as a great hero epic.
 
B

BattleMonkey

Member
MickeyKnox said:
The books are teeeeerrrrrible.
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No they aren't. Perhaps you were looking for something amazing out of them, but they were basically dime store novel type of works, and all short stories outside of a single novella. They are pulp fantasy adventures and they are fantastic at what they are. Why they adapted so well to the multiple comic incarnations. The movie is not anything more than what the original short stories were. Fun, simple, adult fantasy adventures.

And also the movies of Conan were just a hodge podge of scenes from multiple short stories spliced together to make the films.
 
C

Cheerilee

Member
RyanDG said:
It's a shame that the sequel to Conan was absolutely abysmal. It was like they didn't even understand what made the first one good to begin with.
Click to expand...
The studio and producer were in agreement that the first Conan movie was awesome and earned them boatloads of money, but it would have earned them even more money had it not been rated R.

So they pissed off the writers and had the second movie's script edited down to PG, and tried to add more comedy. It got worse reviews and made less money than the first one.

For the third movie (Red Sonja), they tried to compromise art and greed by letting it have a PG-13 rating. I think it's biggest problem was that they weren't allowed to use the Conan name, which amusingly was an extension of what they were already trying to do (by promoting a new hero and reducing Arnie/Conan a guest star).

The fourth (third if you don't count Red Sonja) movie got a script made, but Arnie turned it down, and then the producer quit the studio, so it died.

The studio revived the fourth/third script a few years later, but Kevin Sorbo apparently refused to take on the Conan name, so it became Kull. And no surprise, it was PG-13 again.

There might have been some work towards a fifth/fourth/third Conan movie bringing Arnie back as the older King Conan, but that hope died when Arnie quit acting.

Since then, everything has been moving towards Jason Momoa's new Conan movie. I really hope it's good and does well.
 
P

PhoncipleBone

Banned
The Jason Momoa film is supposed to be more faithful to the original stories, but he just looks like a buff surfer dude to me. Like he is trying to act tough and intimidating, and failing at it.
 
BAW

BAW

Banned
UrbanRats said:
Me too.
Though Poliderous was great in that too.
Basil Poliderous is one the best human ever, yes.
Click to expand...

His name is "Poledouris". Get it right to honour him right.
 
S

Sinatar

Official GAF Bottom Feeder
PhoncipleBone said:
The Jason Momoa film is supposed to be more faithful to the original stories, but he just looks like a buff surfer dude to me. Like he is trying to act tough and intimidating, and failing at it.
Click to expand...

Maybe if they toned down the fucking mascara a bit he'd look a bit tougher. As it is now he looks like he thinks someone is going to steal the wallet he has chained to his pocket. Sorry Conan, nobody wants your buspass.
 
Melchiah

Melchiah

Member
ruby_onix said:
The studio and producer were in agreement that the first Conan movie was awesome and earned them boatloads of money, but it would have earned them even more money had it not been rated R.

So they pissed off the writers and had the second movie's script edited down to PG, and tried to add more comedy. It got worse reviews and made less money than the first one.
Click to expand...

They never learn, do they.

A product that's changed due to dollar signs gleaming in the eyes of the studio executives, ALWAYS turns out to be substandard, both quality and success wise.
 
Boogie9IGN

Boogie9IGN

Member
WAIT was Barbarian Brothers the one with the ferret? I remember seeing a movie dubbed in spanish with some super buff barbarian-type guy and a ferret as a kid but Ive never been able to figure out the name. Please tell me it is!
 
C

Cheerilee

Member
Norwegian Wood said:
So when are we getting a BlueRay?
Click to expand...
Apparently we were supposed to get a John Milius director's cut on HD DVD, but it got delayed for some strange reason.

Also, there apparently was some pretty significant progress towards that King Conan movie. They got John Milius (the director of the first movie) on board to write/direct, and got the Wachowski brothers to produce it. But then Arnie said no thanks, and then Milius got into fights with the Wachowskis over what to do next, so the whole thing fell apart.

In an unrelated story, Milius is feeling kind of bitter and doesn't think anyone wants to see a young Conan reboot.
 
H

hiryu

Member
Probably my favorite movie of all time for many reasons. I remember when they released this on DVD it was like watching a new movie because it was the first time I got to see a clear version. The commentary with Arnold was fantastic too. I've probably seen this over 200 times.
 
J

JGS

Banned
Boogie9IGN said:
WAIT was Barbarian Brothers the one with the ferret? I remember seeing a movie dubbed in spanish with some super buff barbarian-type guy and a ferret as a kid but Ive never been able to figure out the name. Please tell me it is!
Click to expand...
That was Beastmaster and it was awesome (Actually there were two ferrets,
one died for the greater good
)
EDIT: Actually I never heard of Barbarian Brothers so there could have been a ferret in that too.
 
P

PhoncipleBone

Banned
Boogie9IGN said:
WAIT was Barbarian Brothers the one with the ferret? I remember seeing a movie dubbed in spanish with some super buff barbarian-type guy and a ferret as a kid but Ive never been able to figure out the name. Please tell me it is!
Click to expand...
JGS beat me to it. Beastmaster is another great piece of 80s cheese. It has been a long time since I have seen it.
 
S

SolsticeZero

Banned
Since we're talking about 80's fantasy movies, let's not forget this piece of shit:

41mwp3LilUL._SL500_AA300_.jpg


Quite possibly one of the worst movies I've ever seen.
 
M

Mashing

Member
MYE said:
In some pics he looks ok

jason-momoa-conan-2.jpg


In others, fucking terrible

momoa-conan-new-image.jpg


Movie will likely be a forgetable piece of shit. Momoa, or whatever, is not a leading man.
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True... but I do not think there is a man in actor in the world that can do the Conan roll justice. But, to be fair you do not not need good acting to pull off Conan well. The difference now is that audiences are so much more different than they were in the 80's. If someone released Conan into theatres now, they'd probably complain about the hamfisted acting (which we all know is part of it's charm).
 
Wiktor

Wiktor

Member
Best fantasy movie of all time (take that LOTR with it's wimply hobits and girly Legolas :lol !! ). Completely screwed the canon, but perfectly captured the spirit of Howard's prose. Also..best prayer ever and the most stunning movie soundtrack evert composed.
 
P

PhoncipleBone

Banned
Mashing said:
True... but I do not think there is a man in actor in the world that can do the Conan roll justice. But, to be fair you do not not need good acting to pull off Conan well. The difference now is that audiences are so much more different than they were in the 80's. If someone released Conan into theatres now, they'd probably complain about the hamfisted acting (which we all know is part of it's charm).
Click to expand...
Really the only thing that is holding back the original Conan is some questionably cheap looking sets and special effects. They were great for back in the day, but do not hold up as well. Perhaps some more elaborate fights to put in as well. But the stilted acting and dialogue is what makes the movie such a simple, wonderful pleasure.
 
S

squicken

Member
I was never into to the Conan movies. It's more that I just don't like fantasy stuff. Not books or games or movies.

But this and FotR are good. Beastmaster is kind of good too. Much better than He-Man
 
Jin

Jin

Member
The only thing better than Conan: The Barbarian movie is the soundtrack to Conan: The Barbarian. The music never age.
 
B

BattleMonkey

Member
PhoncipleBone said:
The Jason Momoa film is supposed to be more faithful to the original stories, but he just looks like a buff surfer dude to me. Like he is trying to act tough and intimidating, and failing at it.
Click to expand...

The original movie was faithful in tone and setting, it obviously just took liberties with the characters backstory and such, but the original movie was spot on with Howard's original setting.

So far this new movie visually looks completely wrong and by accuracy all I can imagine is them trying to stick to particular stories and Conan's background. But really the new Conan actor looks more like a Stygian than anything.
 
F

Fuzz Rez

Banned
Amazing film and it holds up very well unlike the second film :mad:
Still Total Recall is my favorite from him, this doesn't come far behind but sine I'm a sci-fi man I'll take Recall over this.

...btw where is the total recall thread ?
 
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