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Could straight men and women just be friends?
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I notice, that whenever I meet a new girl, and this almost always happens, during the conversation they subtly mention a boyfriend.
Psychologically, do women do this subconsciously, or is this a tactic they use towards guys they have just met to see what their reaction will be ?
I personally do not care and just want to talk to someone.
Your thoughts ?
Psychologically, do women do this subconsciously, or is this a tactic they use towards guys they have just met to see what their reaction will be ?
I personally do not care and just want to talk to someone.
Your thoughts ?
AndresON777
shooting blanks
LowerLevel
Member
First post nail'd it for me!
K
kittens
Unconfirmed Member
What
the
fuck?
Do you people actually believe this? BRB, gonna go never enter the off topic forum again.
Randolph Freelander
Member
AndresON777
shooting blanks
LOL
I don't know what you mean by "friends", but in my experience lots of men and women are acquaintances, or they go out with large groups of men and women who aren't necessarily about to have sex with each other.
Now it's probably more uncommon that one straight man and woman go out for dinner every night just as friends, but that's also possible.
Only on Neogaf is everything okay to someone except the thing that's okay with most people.
Now it's probably more uncommon that one straight man and woman go out for dinner every night just as friends, but that's also possible.
Only on Neogaf is everything okay to someone except the thing that's okay with most people.
Devolution
Member
If everyone was bisexual and open about sex. You know the world would be a better place!
BadAss2961
Member
Just the ones i'm attracted to, pretty much.
Johnny Cage In The Shower
Member
I think the better question to ask here is:
How many of you straight folk here have friends in the opposite sex that you do not find sexually attractive?
Guessing the answer to that is very low.
H.Protagonist
[-_-]/
I have quite a few. While I can admire their looks in some cases, I'm not interested in sleeping with any of them or in potential relationships with them. I feel nothing more for them than I do for other girls.
But we've done this thread before, and AM summed it up on page one.
I think it depends on the individual. Whether male or female. That being said - it's no surprise that most guys seemingly respond with no, but that certainly doesn't apply to everyone.
For example, I'm friends with quite a few girls. We talk or hang out every now and then. I know quite a few who are always down to play games online. That simply does not mean I'm trying to pursue them or vice-versa. Even now that I'm single. They're just good people and fun to hang out with.
While being in a relationship I think as long as you trust your SO, then it's absolutely fine. In fact I think it's a sign of a healthy relationship. So long as you understand the boundaries and are comfortable with them and whichever opposite-sex friend they're spending time with.
For example, I'm friends with quite a few girls. We talk or hang out every now and then. I know quite a few who are always down to play games online. That simply does not mean I'm trying to pursue them or vice-versa. Even now that I'm single. They're just good people and fun to hang out with.
While being in a relationship I think as long as you trust your SO, then it's absolutely fine. In fact I think it's a sign of a healthy relationship. So long as you understand the boundaries and are comfortable with them and whichever opposite-sex friend they're spending time with.
Devolution
Member
A bunch.
Neffarias_Bredd
Member
I have a bunch of female friends I'm not at all attracted to. They're great people, fun to hang with, but I'm not attracted to them. It's really not that weird
Johnny Cage In The Shower
Member
Guess I should raise my standards then.
No offense to my beautiful friends. Because you are just that, sexy and gorgeous.
No offense to my beautiful friends. Because you are just that, sexy and gorgeous.
AndresON777
shooting blanks
It's probably just women that would honestly say they had a bunch of guy friends. I bet the dudes don't look at them the same way but once you are in the friend zone you are
not
I have lots. I find hardly anyone sexually attractive, though. In fact I'd say there's not one male friend I've had that I've found sexually attractive apart from the one who ended up becoming my fiance, and that was quite romantic from the very beginning.
So you reckon all my male friends are sexually attracted to me but have been repressing it for 10+ years? That's kind of sad
Johnny Cage In The Shower
Member
Although the last part of your post is totally debatable. I agree with the first part.
You cannot feel "friendzoned" with a female friend if your initiall approach and relationship with them has been just that, friends (through college, work, circle of friends etc.)
I think the term "friendzone" Is used very abundantly and loosely around these forums.
AndresON777
shooting blanks
So you reckon all my male friends are sexually attracted to me but have been repressing it for 10+ years? That's kind of sad
They probably got you in the spank bank
'YES. YES. PEAGLES!' etc
Well that's less sad then, and more gross
Actually nah, people can wank to what they want I reckon...On a more serious note, I've noticed the male "friends" I've had in the past who disappeared quickly were usually never intending to be friends in the first place, and got all stroppy and sulky and stormed off, lol. These kind of guys make me more convinced that my male friends that stuck around are actually friends, not just some pretenders trying to get into my pants.
If they are still trying though, bravo, it's been more than 10 years with most of them and I'm now engaged, so points for effort there, but I doubt it.
TOM f'N CRUISE
Member
same hear. BUT i swear theirs sexual tension between me and this friend.. she has a b/f and hes an honest, good, cool guy so i would never do that or would hope she wouldn't do that to him.
if they ever broke up though im all in that
Definitely, two of my best friends are females, so yea it's possible.
But when one person starts developing feelings for the other, then it just becomes torture for that person. I'm in experiencing this right now, not speaking to her in order to distance myself from her is a torture and speaking to her and realizing that she doesn't knows is a torture as well.
But when one person starts developing feelings for the other, then it just becomes torture for that person. I'm in experiencing this right now, not speaking to her in order to distance myself from her is a torture and speaking to her and realizing that she doesn't knows is a torture as well.
Never mind lack of attraction. How many guys would be really good friends with a girl they thought was ugly?
I would be interested to know if hypothetically you propositioned your single male friends what their response would be. Assuming they are not good friends with your significant other and have no loyalties to him, I think you may be surprised with the results.Well that's less sad then, and more gross
On a more serious note, I've noticed the male "friends" I've had in the past who disappeared quickly were usually never intending to be friends in the first place, and got all stroppy and sulky and stormed off, lol. These kind of guys make me more convinced that my male friends that stuck around are actually friends, not just some pretenders trying to get into my pants.
If they are still trying though, bravo, it's been more than 10 years with most of them and I'm now engaged, so points for effort there, but I doubt it.
YOlo. But I seem to be in the minority. Honestly what matters to me with a friends is the ability to have fun, laugh and share experiences. You can do that with beautiful people and you can do that with others whom are more homely.
H.Protagonist
[-_-]/
It just seems so weird to me. I mean, if I was single and my guy friends propositioned me (we'll pretend that there's no weirdness involved in them asking me this and this is just a clinical offer for sex) it would be like deciding whether or not to eat a sandwich that was offered while I wasn't hungry. Maybe I'd eat it just because it's there, but it's still just a take it or leave it thing. Zero actual hunger.
Brolic Gaoler
formerly Alienshogun
That's not true. I'm married and I'm attracted to a lot of my female friends, but I know I'd never sleep with them either. I realize that not all "men" are like me though, and that's ok.
Johnny Cage In The Shower
Member
Well, I have a few female friends, most of them are very attractive (thanks to the environment I went to school and work in...big city, arts and entertainment)
But I also have three female friends that I am not at all sexually attracted to, they aren't physically the most beautiful creatures out there, I just don't find them sexually attractive, but I think it is shallow to assume, "guys" don't hang out with women just because they are unattractive.
I've been friends with these three so called "unattractive" women for over a decade now, (well the one I known for about four years). They are colleagues of mine, they are funny, they are smart, talented and they are great! I love them, I look up to them, admire their achievements in life, sometimes even envious of said achievements! but I do not want to bang them as oppose to wanting to bang the 80% of my other women friends, and that is okay.
I do not think there's a black and white answer to these things, I think it is all relative to the environment you live in and the type of history you share with these friends. Lotta things between men and women are psychological, no exception here, but the external experience and environment you share with these friends of the opposite sex also play a certain role. You cannot go through life picking friends according to how sexually/physically you are attracted to them.
Understood. I don't think the scenario is quite the same when it is a guy initiating.
When replying to me did you consider the scenario? Could you or would you remain friends with a guy knowing they would answer yes? Is that even a friendship?
http://www.laddertheory.com/ladderconstruction.htm
edit: Relevant section:
http://www.laddertheory.com/yesvirginia.htm
edit: Relevant section:
http://www.laddertheory.com/yesvirginia.htm
It's definitely an interesting theory. Too black and white however and the author is crazy insensitive.
AndresON777
shooting blanks
some girls just like thugs
Between individuals with even a modicum of self-control, I think the answer shouldn't make or break a friendship any more than a million other hypothetical questions that friends could ask each other. (Many of which involve desert islands, genies, being handcuffed together, etc.)
I know you're just trolling, but get that mess outta here.
Johnny Cage In The Shower
Member
Hmmm... interesting how the majority (I say majority, because having three females reply to you here on GAF, is considered a " female majority" , regardless of how many males also follow suit.) of people who responded and disagreed with me are female.
I intentionally and carefully chose the words "opposite sex" instead of "female friends" in my post, and looks like the title of that book is right.. Men are from... somethin' something women are from...
EDIT: shit maybe H.Protagonist is not female, I donno anymore, except that I do know I'd like to sleep with most of my female friends.
EDIT 2: Neve rmind, I just understood the point she was making in that sentence, nothing to see here... move along.
Hmm I dunno. I'm not sure if I want to know (even hypothetically). But another girl in our group propositioned a male friend (who is also my friend) and he said no.
My fiance must be a female then, dang! How should I break it to him?
Waah double post!
BadAss2961
Member
AndresON777
shooting blanks
It also has to do with the girl's sensuality. Some chicks just ooze out sexy time energy
Yes he was single. I don't think he's had a girlfriend though. He's a decent looking guy IMO.
She's not hot to me but she seems to have plenty of boyfriends and hookups.
BadAss2961
Member
Johnny Cage In The Shower
Member
??
No?!? Maybe just tell him that women are sexually attracted to men more on emotional and personal level, while "all men are scum" and are sexually attracted to women on more shallow levels like physical appearance?
Which was the point I made with my initial post.
No reason to talk about this like a Sasquatch sighting or anything. I turned down an offer from a female friend whom I considered attractive, and this was back when I was 16. We were in show choir together, and all the dancing, singing, practicing, and casually sitting around in various states of undress together would actually make a relationship with anyone in that group feel kinda weird to me.
BadAss2961
Member
Good for you. I'm pretty sure I wouldn't have considered any of that before happily accepting. Especially not at 16.
AndresON777
shooting blanks
I would only consider saying no if it was like a coworker because that would just make work kind of suck. then again, if a girl starts rubbin on your johnson it's impossible to say no.
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