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[Lafiel]

I'm currently dwelling on this question after attending a public uni christian event and talking to a fairly attractive girl who has similar interests and taste in film/tv to me.

Unfortunately - religion is usually a deal-breaker for relationships for me, because I'm generally a really OPEN and honest person and my opinions about religion are bound to turn off anyone remotely religious eventually.. theoretically a creationist would be even bigger of a deal-breaker, esp since a lot of my ideas about the world and what I'm passionate about draw upon evolutionary and biological concepts!

 

[Aquamarine]

Let's say I was able to land dates. I would never date anyone religious.

I've had debates with some ridiculously erudite, Christian scholars / clergy before...that's why I don't personally write-off someone if they believe in God.

Ultimately I can respect their religion as long as they approach it thoughtfully + intelligently with a deep, thorough understanding of other religions and the history that surrounded their formation.

It's how deep into the rabbit hole they blindly go that's the metric here. Believing mythological stories in the Bible 100% as-is... is a great way to demonstrate that.

Might as well LITERALLY believe in Greek mythology while we're at it.

 

[Spinluck]

This thread reminds me, I slept with some Christian girl the other day. I only wanted a one night stand out of her so I didn't watch my tongue when she began spewing her religion BS. She got mad at me and I didn't texted her back.

Yup, I have before because she was pretty good looking, and sort of a freak.

I find that a lot of Christian people I hang around tend to justify things like sex before marriage, and bend biblical stuff to their convenience. I was guilty of this when I was a Christian, and used to think I was going to burn for eternity for masturbating.. it's a terrible feeling as kid lol. In High School, when I transferred to this new private school in 10th grade, pretty much everyone was a virgin. Boy did that change by the time we graduated, you can only dry hump and makeout for so long!

Anyway, I would date one, but wouldn't consider settling down with one.

Yes, considering I am one as well. Kind of surprised to see all the negativity on here. I was almost afraid to post but oh well, it won't kill me.

Props for posting.

 

[CaptainGyro]

Google "quiverfull".

OK then that's another definite dealbreaker right there. I already assumed it was fucked up beyond repair, but the way some were going in here I wasn't sure anymore. Unless you're really religious, I don't see how the quiverfull movement isn't a dealbreaker

 

[kurisu_1974]

First I'd have to find one, I honestly never encountered this train of thought in Europe.

Humans aren't even "created" in the Bible until near the end of the sixth day.

What about the pre-Adamite humans? Who were the Sons of God? Why did they have sex with humans? How did those human woman give birth to giants? Why are the two first chapters of the Bible conflicting creation stories?

 

[Captain Europe]

The situation with him is actually a great real life example of this scenario. Remembering a past conversation, he does very strongly believe that the earth is 6,000 years old now that I think of it...

He has his issues like anyone else, but overall he is very sweet, kind, generous, a loving dad, etc., and obviously my sister thought his very loosely held beliefs were a non-issue for them. Except now, they're not so loose or without effect.

For example, the godmother thing aside, he seems to think God will solve everything. Ask and he will provide sort of stuff. They were having difficulty having a baby back before my niece because my sister has polycystic kidneys. What this means is her kidneys are both the size of footballs and there's not a whole lot of room for anything else, if you know what I mean. They also don't work well and were down to 70% functionality at this rate. Doctor said not to try any more because the chances of death for the fetus and my sister were high at the worst, or she'd lose even more function at the least. My sister was crushed and really wanted to try so they compromised and tried just until her birthday. They lucked out and she conceived, and after a month in induced labor in the hospital my niece was born prematurely but both survived.

I'm obviously delighted they both pulled through, but in my brother-in-law's mind, God gave them a miracle and they should go for #2. My sister lost 50% more of her kidney function (this means her kidneys will now completely fail in the next few years as opposed to 10 or so more) and she nearly died, but he was still adamant that #2 was a given because they got #1 thanks to God. This led to some nasty fighting with my mom and between them in particular. Maybe some people can overlook or live with someone who holds beliefs in extreme opposition to their own, but when it comes to kids or these kinds of decisions, you can't count on just being able to hold them at arm's length anymore.

Sorry for the long story.




His cousin thinks he is the embodiment of piousness because he memorized a few lines from the bible. He tries really hard to be aloof and important, but the guy is a non-starter in life basically. I feel kind of bad for him, to be honest.

Nice or no, he sounds like a nutter, your poor sis!

 

[Arrogant Bastard]

Honestly? Yep, it's a dealbreaker for me.

I can't be with a man who puts his faith in a book when there is scientific evidence that directly contradicts his beliefs (i.e. the world is definitively older than 6,000 years).

To me that screams ignorance, and I can't be with ignorant men.

I don't mind if he believes in God / a god, but creationism is a COMPLETELY different beast.

Agreed. Sub in female for male.

It doesn't scream ignorance though, it screams stupidity. You can be religious, you can believe in a god/gods, an afterlife...but creationism is absurd to a whole different level.

Science is true whether or not you believe in it. If you are going to deny reality, I really have no time for you.

 

[patapuf]

I don't have issues with religious people but fundamentalists rub me the wrong way and something long term probably wouldn't work. When kids come into play at the very latest the differences would become too big i think.

 

[Opinionatedfish]

Google "quiverfull". Speaking of which

Lawsuit reveals teen was groomed as personal sex slave in the Duggar family’s movement

I love how they use "close friend of the Duggar family" to justify the misleading headline. It makes it sound like The Duggar Family was grooming a sex slave themselves.

The Old Testament in the Bible has a lot of "social science" in it.. well.. social science that resembles Eugenics. A good majority of the first half of the Old Testament is army building guidelines. Quiverfull thinking is more about "breeding a majority" over anything else. You may have one or two children that listen to you.. but they have 19 children that listen to them. Think of it like this: They are Niger and Mali. Everyone else is Monaco and Japan.

 

[Eusis]

Overthinking things just do it

Which already says it all about going out with someone who doesn't think. Nevermind if she actually came to that conclusion after thinking about it heavily.

While I have no qualms with Cilantro. I think this is a great way of explaining it. Also, Trader Joe's 21 Spice Salute is amazing and everyone should try it.

And to add to your point: Too much salt also spoils a great dish.

Yeah, I don't doubt being MORE extreme on a topic you do generally agree on can easily make things worse in and of itself. Especially since this question isn't applicable just to people who are atheist.

Yeah, the changing can't be helped, but he was religious to begin with... just the lazy backseat sort who never goes to church but believes in God because they were raised that way. For the flipside, though, renouncing religion at least doesn't encourage you to make decisions based on faith.

The scariest thing was the blank, 'what's the problem' face when this came up. Like he couldn't believe there was anything wrong with them trying again. Of course it would be fine. He was disbelieving when the doctor told them how much function she had lost too. It's like consequences hadn't registered at all to him. Frightening. Truly frightening.

It really sounds like the worst way to approach faith: reject everything that doesn't fit either what the bible says or what you WANT to have happen. Even worse when it's life or death situations here. :/

 

[Log4Girlz]

I've had debates with some ridiculously erudite, Christian scholars / clergy before...that's why I don't personally write-off someone if they believe in God.

Ultimately I can respect their religion as long as they approach it thoughtfully + intelligently with a deep, thorough understanding of other religions and the history that surrounded their formation.

It's how deep into the rabbit hole they blindly go that's the metric here. Literally believing mythological stories in the Bible 100% as-is... is a great way to demonstrate that.

Might as well LITERALLY believe in Greek mythology while we're at it.

Well there is no proof that the greek myths weren't true. >

 

[Eusis]

Well there is no proof that the greek myths weren't true. >

We can thank Kratos for that.

... And things would be even worse taking video games as historical fact.

 

[Monocle]

Well there is no proof that the greek myths weren't true. >

If I had to choose a religious mythology to believe in (if it were possible to choose sincere beliefs), I'm pretty sure I'd go with the Greeks.

"My god turned into a swan and got all up in some chick with his swan bone. What did your god do?"

 

[NEOPARADIGM]

I don't know that it would matter that much, if at all, all else being perfect or close to it.

The mind goes to some deep and fucked up places, and faced with certain questions there are always holes and disconnects in reason. Even two atheists are likely to be at extreme odds on some philosophical point or another; dating a fundamentalist would theoretically be no different - if your two personalities/identities "meshed" at an 85% clip, say, and you were totally hot for them on top of it, that'd be, more or less, pure head-over-heels love regardless of what the missing 15% was made of.

And while I'm making up statistics, shit, 95% of people are at least 15% fucking nuts anyway. That or ignorant as shit. Fundamentalists just have an easily-identifiable label for their flavor of crazy.

 

[Saganator]

I could have dated girls who believe in some sort of higher power, but don't follow any religion, wasn't that big of a deal (they were all pretty liberal). Dating a fundamentalist young earther is a whole new ball game that I'm not willing to play. I enjoy political and religious discussions and I don't see those going to well with someone who believes in creationism. In my view, they might as well believe the earth is flat while they're at it. Religion is a definite deal breaker for me.

 

[CaptainGyro]

I don't know that it would matter that much, if at all, all else being perfect or close to it.

.

What does "all else being perfect or close to it " mean in this case? That seems like a pretty unlikely condition to me

 

[Dryk]

Two of my favourite things are cosmology and dinosaurs. Fuck no.

Isn't it possible that God created earth 6,000 years ago but also gave it a history so it looks millions of years old?

I've read a few different approaches by YECreationists on this matter. Some said that is was possible, and then the Earth could be 6000 years old. Some said that God would never lie like that, so it's impossible, but the Earth is still 6000 years old.

 

[Eusis]

Two of my favourite things are cosmology and dinosaurs. Fuck no.


I've read a few different approaches by YECreationists on this matter. Some said that is was possible, and then the Earth could be 6000 years old. Some said that God would never lie like that, so it's impossible, but the Earth is still 6000 years old.

And that was mocked by the likes of Terry Pratchet too, as a joke in Discworld to be exact. That's kind of the thing though, we have to work with what we have, and a god who decides to just leave all that stuff around to fuck with us doesn't really deserve worship anyway, not as a loving creator anyway.

 

[TestMonkey]

I'd be okay with it. It's the same as every other faith based institution, as long as I can read something to get and understanding of it we can make it work. I'm probably not going to agree but I have to at least understand.

And while I'm making up statistics, shit, 95% of people are at least 15% fucking nuts anyway. That or ignorant as shit. Fundamentalists just have an easily-identifiable label for their flavor of crazy.

That's a pretty generous estimate. People believe in some crazy shit. Religion, democracy, string theory and economics just to name a few.

 

[Lazyslob]

theory dating is fun

 

[Arkos]

Hahaha no. I've ended relationships for far smaller differences. That's an entirely different fundamental world view. One time I tried to date a "Christian" girl and she dumped me, looking back on it thank god lol. It could only have gotten messier lol.

 

[Log4Girlz]

theory dating is fun

I bet going on a date is nice.

 

[peanutbutterlatte]

By date, do we mean... long term relationship? Or just a date for a night? And how attractive is she?

 

[omg_mjd]

Nope. A girl I was interested in turned out to be one. Actually, she identifies as agnostic, strangely enough, but we once had a conversation where she questioned the theory of evolution by citing creationist propaganda. As soon as she uttered the words "EVOLUTION? IT'S JUST A THEORY" I checked out mentally and waited for lunch to be over.

 

[Lazyslob]

I bet going on a date is nice.

are you making fun of me? are you trying to say i cant get dates HUH?

 

[Log4Girlz]

are you making fun of me? are you trying to say i cant get dates HUH?

No, I didn't not mean to imply that you could not get a date. My apologies Lazyslob

 

[Lazyslob]

No, I didn't not mean to imply that you could not get a date. My apologies Lazyslob

OH, YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT EVERYONE ELSE HUH. okay gotcha

 

[Nakho]

Belief "because you have to" is slavery to a limit.

I'm pretty sure that Science is researching all possible outcomes, not just the ones that are rigidly accepted. When you find an outcome that doesn't match your hypothesis, you either change your hypothesis, or go back to start and see if another path leads to that hypothesis. Science isn't about running into walls and accepting that wall. It's about running into walls and then trying to find out what is behind those walls. Which is why it's fun to speculate, poke, and prod at those walls. That is why I don't look at a wall as a wall. I look at a wall as hiding something interesting behind it.

That's all fine and dandy, but a big part of science is also making falsifiable claims. You can't just go around saying "there could be fossiles that are 10 billion years old, we just haven't found them" and use that mere possibility to support a theory. You have to envision a simple experiment and stipulate a result that could disprove your theory.

For example, if you find a dinosaur fossil that is carbon-dated to be from 100,000 years ago, the theory of evolution goes to the trash can. But good luck doing that. Now try to apply this reasoning to your claim, it's impossible.

 

[Drakeon]

They're sweet. They've got a nice family. They're tolerant. They're attractive. However, your new partner is a Biblical literalist who believes the Earth is six thousand years old. Is this a dealbreaker? Why or why not?

Nope, speaks to a severe lack of critical thinking. Also lol at the idea they are tolerant, good luck finding a literalist who's tolerant of gays or atheists.

 

[H.Protagonist]

That's weird. If he thinks #1 was a miracle to given to them by God, then wouldn't that be all the more reason to not push their luck and be happy with just that? God giving miracles is rare enough--repeat performances kinda don't really happen and get more into testing thy Lord territory. I mean, if he really believed all that stuff, you'd figure that the story of Abraham and Isaac would particularly resonate with him, with how Abraham was considerably surprised by how God decided to bless him with Isaac to begin with and definitely didn't press his luck by asking God to have Sarah be able to have any further children (though Abraham did have more kids later on, but they weren't with Sarah).

But yeah, definitely glad your sister and her kid pulled through that and hope that she's able to do something about her kidneys in the future and that everything works out there.

Thank you. I was prepared (as much as one can be) for the worst, but she really did get the best possible scenario of the known consequences, and goddamn my niece is a beautiful baby (even from an objective point of view).

For the miracle stuff, yeah, that was my take away too. Well, on the more cynical side. If you dice with the devil and win once, take it and go. Don't push your luck.

I guess for him, he just saw that they were successful against pretty bad odds and that meant all the doctors were wrong and God had provided. Maybe he was so moved by that that the consequences seemed even less real. Just a bunch of doctor bullshit in his mind. I could see how he might have gone that way. His surprise when they told him just how much of my sister's life had been shaved off by the birth (7+ years of kidney function) sort of reinforces this. At least in the end he's agreed that adoption is the safer option at this point.

Nice or no, he sounds like a nutter, your poor sis!

He's not so in your face about it, though. It's a quiet sort of believing that's been creeping into a lot of mundane things or when big decisions come up. It's not like he acts crazy or really proselytizes (that's his cousin), but he prays at the table now, he just sits and prays on the couch sometimes, he's gotten really involved with the church (a financial commitment I can't say they can really afford, either), they've asked him to be a speaker there regularly... It's been building for sure. He isn't crazy, though. Yet.

Which already says it all about going out with someone who doesn't think. Nevermind if she actually came to that conclusion after thinking about it heavily.

Yeah, I don't doubt being MORE extreme on a topic you do generally agree on can easily make things worse in and of itself. Especially since this question isn't applicable just to people who are atheist.

It really sounds like the worst way to approach faith: reject everything that doesn't fit either what the bible says or what you WANT to have happen. Even worse when it's life or death situations here. :/

He says he gets that God is responsible for everything, good or bad. That "God has a plan" shit. But it makes anything he does immune from responsibility or reproach or scrutiny. That's what pisses me off. Well, that and the cafeteria style selection of the good bits, too.

 

[FrozenCell]

yes we can

 

[Rootbeer]

Only benefit is they tend to be family oriented and I dig that. Otherwise, absolutely could not stand to be in said relationship, even if it worked out for a while, we'd be butting heads soon enough. Not worth it. I need to be with someone who's beliefs i can respect, even if I disagree with them.

 

[Gustav]

No. I wouldn't even date moderately religious types.

 

[Opinionatedfish]

For example, if you find a dinosaur fossil that is carbon-dated to be from 100,000 years ago, the theory of evolution goes to the trash can. But good luck doing that. Now try to apply this reasoning to your claim, it's impossible.

If they found a dinosaur fossil that was carbon dated to be from 100,000 years ago, I wouldn't abandon the theory of evolution. It would just have to be amended for the -possible- anomaly once more than one fossil of that sort was found. The nature of science is that -when new information is discovered- the data requires collaboration. So, it would take more than one dinosaur fossil over a period of time. And that still doesn't disprove evolution.

Spoiler

There are transitional fossils after all.

 

[BouncyFrag]

Why single out Christianity in regards to this question? Don't other religions (Islam, Judaism, Buddhism, etc.) have supernatural phenomena at their core that cannot be proven scientifically and must be taken on faith alone? Not including them is hypocritical.

 

[Mauricio_Magus]

No, I'd never date anyone religious to be honest.

 

[fredrancour]

Why single out Christianity in regards to this question? Don't other religions (Islam, Judaism, Buddhism, etc.) have supernatural phenomena at their core that cannot be proven scientifically and must be taken on faith alone?

I would guess that the OP is American, and thus is most likely to encounter the specified demographic by a huge margin. I'd imagine most of the thread's negative secular responses would not change for other fundamental beliefs about the origin of the world, or other similar bits of faith.

 

[Vigilant Walrus]

I think religious / spiritual view is just another thing. I just put it up next other things like being a vegetarian or believing in incarnation or karma. It's just a lifepath/lifestyle choice.

I think I have a lot of little paths / styles myself.



I went on a date with a girl who was anti-vaccines. That really made me concerned and I felt that right as she said it, I judged her (internally). I def thought less of her because of it. I couldn't figure out if I was in the right or if I was a judgemental prick.

She was not being a dick about it either. She just said her mother was a nature hippie, and when she was a baby she got sick a lot, and that her mother was convinced it was dangerous for her. It sounded plausible to me - I've never been sick like that, what the fuck do I know?
I just took the parts I've heard from crazies who believe in chemtrails and vaccines are made to fuck us, and applied that stigma to her. Which was unfair.

Fuck.
It's hard not to judge people. It's hard not to judge people based on things you don't even know a lot about.
Lately self-declaring Atheists annoy me more than religious folks.

 

[Rentahamster]

Dunno about you, but I wouldn't date a person knowing I wouldn't end up with them. =P

I would. It's just dating. Not everyone I date has to be a potential soul mate. As long as they're fun to hang out with and good in the sack, I'm fine.

 

[Majine]

Sure, I mean if it's just dating. See if I can convert her.

 

[Foffy]

Probably not. We would probably be at odds with many other views in the world. He or she would probably take the dogma that comes with that jazz, too. That doesn't work for me as I try to omit all sorts of dogma in my own life.

It would be too contrasting for either party. This is not to express disdain or to imply I am better than, it's just with much of that I dance to a particular beat in life. It only makes sense I twerk it out with others on that same freakuency.

 

[MogCakes]

The words tolerant and fundamentalist are incompatible.

 

[ArjanN]

How did those human woman give birth to giants? Why are the two first chapters of the Bible conflicting creation stories?

 

[Intheflorsh]

I guess, but I don't think they would enjoy me being incredibly condescending whenever the subject comes up.

 

[Transhuman]

I wouldn't be able to respect them, and even though I'm sure a lot of people are capable of dating someone they have no respect for, I'm not one of them. For myself, being in a relationship with (or even having sex with) someone that deluded would be on par with bestiality or loving an inanimate object because they lack one of the qualities with which I associate intelligent behaviour. Outside of reproduction I struggle to see the importance of relationships between two rational adults, so I see a relationship that only has one rational adult as masturbatory.

 

[Conor_Fool]

Never in 6000 years

 

[Linkyn]

I'm a physicist, so yeah, pretty much no. I don't care whether someone is generally religious or spiritual, and most faiths or creeds have a decent message at their core, but I need my partner to have some basic level of respect for what I do / believe and the choices I've made in life. Also, I don't see myself having a sincere conversation when I have to keep watching how I phrase things in order not to offend someone.

 

[red731]

Nope.

 

[Derwind]

They're sweet. They've got a nice family. They're tolerant. They're attractive. However, your new partner is a Biblical literalist who believes the Earth is six thousand years old. Is this a dealbreaker? Why or why not?

I think it would be on the same level as dating someone whom believes medical science is a sin and astrology is actual science.

Im sorry if the world was created and developed in six days, how fast did the larger bodies of mass in the observable universe get created.

And why did it take the last few thousand years to get a best seller?

*chuckle*

 

[Foffy]

Why single out Christianity in regards to this question? Don't other religions (Islam, Judaism, Buddhism, etc.) have supernatural phenomena at their core that cannot be proven scientifically and must be taken on faith alone? Not including them is hypocritical.

They can be. It depends on the severity of it. It's just young earth creationists are really "out there" in a spectrum of potential "out-theres". You can infer various ideas with other theologies (Buddhism is actually a very solid philosophy outside of the deity and afterlife jazz) but the core premise of creationism is literally at conflict with what we know in the world. The idea of parables and allegories, which many apologetics regarding theology can fall in, don't work when one's concept of time and the formation of things is in conflict with another.

You can take the idea of man coming from a rib as a romanticized, poetic notion. I don't see the poetry is assuming the earth is thousands of years old when we have various amounts of data saying otherwise. That concept of time is a big issue. It's one thing to infer spirituality, it is another to impose that view in absolute conflict with science, and that is the biggest uh oh of creationism. Many theologies try to wrap around science, but creationism has a big pillar in the way of science. This is why a chunk of notable scientists have compared many ideas to that particular theological philosophy to child abuse.