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Social Clickbait COVID-19 Cooking At Home With Fellow GAFers

DunDunDunpachi

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Hello and welcome, fellow lockdownee, I am your host Master Chef Deedeedeepee and on today's show we will be sharing easy, fulfilling, relatively-healthy recipes that you can cook all by yourself at home while the government installs dystopian plague-brackets on all your windows and doorframes.

As chicken tendy supply dwindles, I want to make sure you can feed yourself and your family. You should be able to cook a variety of meals from scratch ingredients instead of relying on restaurants / fast-food / supermarket foods to hold you over.



This episode is all about the audience participation, so please post recipes and links for easy-to-make foods following these guidelines:

1.
recipes should not require exotic or expensive ingredients.
2. recipes that use shelf-stable ingredients receive 1.5x points and +20% critical damage (use dry, canned, or other long-term preserved goods)
3. don't cough on the food

Since we're approaching St. Patrick's Day and since I have Irish heritage, it only makes sense that I would kick off the participation with one of my favorite cheap foods:

حمص بالطحينة‎ + خبز‎
(Hummus + Pita)

2 cups cooked chickpeas (canned is okay)
1/2 cup olive oil
1/4 cup tahini (sesame paste)
1/4 cup lemon juice (fresh squeezed is best)
2 TBSP cold water
2 - 4 garlic cloves
2 TBSP of ground cumin
1 TBSP of ground paprika
1 tsp of salt + more to taste

1. Soak dry chickpeas overnight, then boil in a pot of water for 90 minutes. Check occasionally so that the pan doesn't go dry from water evaporation
2. Drain chickpeas
3. While still hot, add chickpeas, olive oil, tahini, lemon juice, water, garlic, cumin, paprika, and salt to your blender, food-processor, or mortar.
4. Blend until smooth.

The main flavors here are the olive oil, the tahini, the lemon, the cumin, and the garlic, with salt as your foundation, so play with these ingredients until you find a texture and flavor that you appreciate. If you find it is too thick, try adding lemon juice and/or oil and/or cold water to reach the desired consistency.

I was raised on the "real" stuff, so I appreciate strong lemon and strong garlic in my recipe.

Buy the tahini that a lebanese mother would buy. There should be arabic writing on the jar:



One moment.






My apologies. Now let's knead some dough with our bare hands. Kneading dough is the most important part of any bread recipe, so if your structure is poor (small holes, too dense) then you likely didn't knead it enough. 5 minutes of kneading is the average for most recipes.

4 cups all-purpose flour
1 1/4 cups warm water
1/4 cup olive oil
1/4 cup refined sugar
1 TBSP yeast (added to warm water)
1 tbsp salt (added last)

1. Mix the yeast into warm water. Even instant yeast will benefit from this step.
2. Combine the flour, water, yeast, oil, and sugar in a large bowl
3. Add the salt
4. Knead for 5 minutes.
5. Please, don't cheat. 5 minutes seems like a lot but we want good bread.
6. Cover the bowl and let rise for 60 minutes
7. Preheat oven to 475F / 245C. Place a flat metal pan or baking sheet inside to warm up.
8. Flour the counter and roll into thin discs.
9. In batches, cook for about 2 minutes (maybe more) until the bread begins to inflate like a balloon and/or the edges on the bottom starts to brown
10. Let cool, then enjoy fresh or freeze for long-term storage

If you prefer your pita to be fluffier, add just a bit more water at the beginning. If you prefer your pita to be thin and slightly cardboard-y, the trick is to roll your loaves as thinly as possible and to only cook for about 1 minute.

Hopefully you'll be able to enjoy the lockdown with a table full of delicious meals.



And remember Rule #3: Don't cough on the food.
 
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DunDunDunpachi

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Okay paisanos, continuing the St Patrick's Day theme, here is another simple recipe. Italians GET ITT.

Simple pasta + tomato sauce

2 ~28oz cans of whole, peeled san marzano tomatoes. Cento and Alessi are two brands I like.
1/4 cup olive oil
2 cloves garlic
2 anchovies
1 TBSP soy sauce
1 tsp Marmite
2 TBSP all-purpose flour
1/2+ cup red wine
fresh tomatoes (if available)
fresh onions, chopped (the more onions the merrier, IMO)
basil, oregano, red pepper flakes for seasoning

1. Chop onions (and other veggies that need to be cooked, like green pepper)
2. Sizzle on low / medium-low heat with the olive oil until the onions start looking translucent
3. Mash the anchovies, Marmite, garlic, soy sauce into a paste, then add into the hot pan. Cook while stirring 1 minute.
4. Add in flour and cook while stirring at least 1 minute. The flour should "soak up" the remaining oils and begin to brown.
5. Deglaze with the wine. A little bit at a time. Keep stirring.
6. Add in fresh (not the canned yet) tomatoes then simmer on low / medium-low heat until the wine reduces, 5m at least
7. Add in the cans of tomatoes including the sauce it is packed in plus your seasonings.

Advice on the red pepper flakes: you should have enough in the sauce so that you can feel a tiny bit of "heat" but it should never be spicy.

And for the pasta...

Either boil up a box of pasta or make your own with flour + raw eggs + water and a pinch of salt.

Just open a can of sardines and swallow the content. The postapo world is only for strong.
Sardines and tuna are great sources of fat + protein, which are hard to come by in a lockdown world. Look at any food shortages in the past 100 years and fats + protein are always valuable foods to have.

I also suggest cans of coconut milk. Black beans + rice + coconut milk + whatever sauce/flavors is a filling and hearty meal.
 
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Feb 25, 2013
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Screw it, I'm just gonna steal one of her older recipes. I'm gonna get a lump on the head though cuz it's one of her first back when she just started...

-Cold busting chicken soup to get you better fast-

I’ve been able to avoid getting sick most of the time by taking extra care of myself at the very first sign of sickness. I like to load up on some elderberry syrup, herbal tea, and this cold busting chicken soup. It’s an amped up version of the chicken noodle classic, so that you get even more health benefits.

Taking care of yourself

I can always tell when I’m about to get sick because I get that tired, run down feeling. If I ignore it, then I know in a few days I’m going to feel extra crappy. Preventative measures, like eating healthy, and taking care of yourself to relieve stress is important, but sometimes life gets in the way of those things. It never fails; I get busy, the stress builds, I indulge in sugar to keep me going and then bam…I’m sicker than a dog.

Sometimes life throws you a curveball, and as much as you want to, you just don’t have time to take care of yourself like you should. The great thing about this chicken soup, is that not only will it help you be healthier, but it also gets dinner on the table. You can double the recipe if you’d like and freeze the extra for some other time. I like to make enough for several meals, especially since it takes me several days of targeted care to really get over a cold or flu.

Antibacterial ingredients

Onions and garlic both have potent antibacterial properties to help kick your cold to the curb. I’ll often eat a slice of raw garlic in some raw honey every few hours when I’m sick, and it usually takes care of it completely. This study showed that onion was effective at killing multiple strains of bacteria. Garlic is even better, as it can take care of not just bacteria, but viruses and fungus as well. You really want fresh garlic though, as the active ingredient is no longer viable an hour after smashing the garlic clove.

Oregano is also a powerful antibacterial herb, so I like putting some in this chicken soup. I’ve used thyme because its great for soothing coughs, and helping the body to expel excess mucus from the lungs and throat. If you can find fresh herbs that’s best, but dried will absolutely work, and is what I use in winter anyway.

Mineral rich sea salt

Every soup known to man has salt, so why am I mentioning it here? Sea salt is full of trace minerals that our bodies need for optimal health. I like using light grey celtic sea salt, but Himalayan or Redmond’s real salt are also great choices. Just don’t use the cheap, bleached iodized “sea salt” at your local big box grocery store. That stuff is glorified table salt and just as toxic (source).

Boost circulation for faster healing

I normally use ground black pepper when cooking, but this soup uses cayenne pepper. Cayenne gives it a little kick, but it also increases circulation to speed healing in the body. Cayenne also helps to break up and move congestion from the body, which is great for stuffy noses. It has antibacterial properties, boosts the lymphatic system and aids digestion and detox (source).

Apple cider vinegar is another key player in this recipe. It may sound strange to include vinegar in your soup, but the acidity really helps round out the flavor and makes it taste amazing! I learned this from Sarah Britton’s cookbook, Back to Your Roots, which just happens to be my all time favorite recipe book. Apple cider vinegar doesn’t just make the soup taste better though, it helps the body detox, aids digestion and so many other things to help you get better faster.

No chicken in chicken broth?

I was a little surprised when I read the back of the box on my organic chicken broth and realized that it was just organic chicken “flavors.” Umm, what happened to the chicken? Making your own broth is super easy.

I make it with kitchen scraps for a broth that costs nothing, but tastes fabulous and is full of vitamins and minerals. I cook a whole chicken, then take the meat off for meals, like this chicken soup recipe and make broth with the bones. I just recently got an instant pot, so I’m looking forward to making my broth in there next time, since it’s so much faster than my crockpot!



Ingredients


  • 1 onion, diced
  • 4 stalks of celery, thickly sliced
  • 6 carrots, thickly sliced
  • 2 cups green beans, cut into 1-2 inch pieces
  • 3-5 cloves of garlic (I use the lesser amount if they’re really large)
  • 1 T. unrefined sea salt, or more to taste
  • ½ tsp cayenne pepper
  • 2 T. apple cider vinegar
  • 2 tsp oregano (I like lots of herbs, so I use 1 T.)
  • 2 tsp thyme (I like lots of herbs, so I use 1 T.)
  • 2 chicken breasts, or 4 cup shredded chicken
  • 12 cups of nutrient rich bone broth, preferably homemade

Instructions


  1. In a large pot with a lid, or slow cooker add all of the ingredients together and stir to combine.
  2. Bring the mixture to a boil, then reduce to a simmer and cook until the veggies are soft, or about 45 minutes.
  3. Taste your soup and adjust the seasonings as desired. Remember, that you can always add more in, but you can’t take it out! You can also add a little more water if you like it brothier.
 

Sejan

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Sep 28, 2018
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Homemade sourdough bread is surprisingly easy to make and only requires 3 ingredients once you have your starter ready and made. The bread keeps for a week and costs less than a quarter to make.

Starter:
(Takes 2 weeks to make from scratch, but will last forever as long as you take care of it, but you can buy a starter pretty easily)
Feed it daily. Either use part of it or dump half of it. Feed with equal parts water and unbleached flour.
If you aren't using it daily, it'll keep in the fridge for a pretty long time and only takes a day to recover.

Bread:
Mix 100 grams of stater with 250 grams of water well.
Add 394 grams of flour and 8 grams of salt and mix well.
Leave on the counter alone for at least two hours
Fold in half multiple times being careful not to rip the dough
Over the next few hours repeat the folding process a few times.
After at least 6 total hours either bake it or put it in the fridge overnight. (The bread will continue to strengthen in flavor and yeast content in the fridge)
If you put it in the fridge, take it out in the morning and let sit on the counter at least 6 hours repeating the folding process a few times.
Bake for 40 minutes in an all metal container covered (A dutch oven is ideal, but I use a metal loaf pan covered with aluminum foil.)
Uncover the loaf and bake until you like how the crust looks 3-10 minutes or so.
Let it cool a bit before cutting.
 
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Feb 25, 2013
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So, if everything does go to crud because of this virus or more probably... stupid people... it's a good idea to have a garden started. You are going to be eating a lot of greens, if you aren't already. If you run out of salad dressing, or just want a healthier alternative without all the heavy metals and such...

This is gluten and dairy free to whom it may concern. Also, I'm pretty picky. We regularly make this now, it's that good.

-Poppy Seed Dressing-



Ingredients


  • 1/3 cup white vinegar
  • 2/3 cup sugar (rapadura, or evaporated cane crystals, aka cane sugar)
  • 1 tsp ground mustard
  • 1 tsp onion powder or 2 tsp minced onion
  • 1 cup olive oil
  • 2 Tbsp poppy seeds

Instructions


  1. Heat vinegar and sugar in saucepan on stove just until the sugar is dissolved. You don't want this to simmer or get too warm.
  2. Pour the vinegar into a blender and add the mustard and onion. If you're using a high power blender like a Vitamix then minced onion will work fine, otherwise be sure to use the powder.
  3. Blend on medium-high until the ingredients are well combined, about 10-20 seconds.
  4. Turn the blender on high and take the top off. If you have the option, just remove part of the top so that you can pour the oil through.
  5. SLOWLY begin to pour the oil into the blender as it's running. After about a third of the oil is in you can begin to pour faster. Turn the blender off
  6. Pour in the poppy seeds and pulse a few times, just until combined.
  7. The dressing will be fairly warm, so you'll probably want to put it in the fridge for about an hour before using it.
  8. Store in a closed container in the refrigerator.
 
Feb 25, 2013
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Something fun to make for the kiddo's while on lockdown. (I definitely don't request these for myself... no sir...)



Green Eggs and Ham

I make “green eggs” for breakfast and my little one loves the color. And I love that they’re full of veggies … he just doesn’t know it. The book “Green Eggs and Ham,” makes eating these eggs even more fun for kids.


We like to top the eggs with salsa and cheese, but these are good even without it. And I promise, they don’t taste like spinach! Recipes usually add milk to eggs when they’re scrambled, but there’s enough liquid here with the spinach.


This recipe works best with a high speed blender, since it will really liquefy the spinach and you won’t be left with any green spinach flecks. I have a refurbished Vitamix that I really like, use every day and it cost about half of a new one. A regular blender or even a ninja blender won’t get it as smooth, but it will get the job done and you’ll have yummy green eggs that the kiddos will love!



Ingredients


  • 6 pastured eggs
  • 1 cup packed fresh spinach leaves
  • 1/2 cup cubed ham or ground, cooked sausage (optional)
  • Salsa and cheese (optional)
  • 1-2 tsp coconut oil or pastured butter

Instructions


  1. Combine the eggs and spinach in a blender until smooth. It will get foamy, but that's ok.
  2. Pour the mixture into a heated pan greased with a fat.
  3. If using, sprinkle the ham or sausage over the eggs.
  4. Cook over medium low heat, stirring occasionally until they look moist, but not goopy.
  5. Top with cheese and/or salsa if desired.
 

DunDunDunpachi

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Want to boost your immune system using a large jar, salt, water, caraway seeds, and head of cabbage?

(for research on the health benefits of natural 'kraut)

Sauerkraut! ( Yoshi Yoshi get ITT)

1 head of cabbage per 1/2 gallon jar (so typically 2 heads per 1 gallon crock, 4 - 5 heads of cabbage for a 2 gallon crock, etc.
water
salt (pink himalayan or other high-mineral salts, if possible)
dry caraway seeds
extra seasonings and hard veggies, as you see fit

0. Peel the outer cabage leaves whole, rinse, and set aside for later
1. Slice cabbage into ribbons or chunks. The size of the piece (as long as it isn't too thick) won't affect the fermentation process
2. place cabbage and 1 TBSP salt per head of cabbage into a large bowl
3. Work the salt into the cabbage with your hands by squeezing firmly. The cabbage should start to "squeak" as the salt works its way in.
4. Let rest a minimum of 1 hour in an open spot on the counter
5. Pack layers of cabbage + the salty brine into a tall jar or crock. It needs to be clean and watertight. I prefer to push it down, sprinkle some caraway seeds on top, pack another two inches of cabbage, sprinkle on more caraway, more cabbage, and so forth.

IMPORTANT: leave about 3 inches from the top. Pack the remaining sauerkraut into a second jar (but you might be surprised by how much more can be packed in if you use a wooden spoon to push it down.)

At the top of the kraut, layer several of the outer cabbage leaves, uncut and as whole as possible. You're creating a disposable layer that keeps the stuff underneath fresher.

6. Fill the crock with enough water to just cover the top of the cabbage. If you have to add more than 1 cup, sprinkle a bit of extra salt, but no more than a 1/2 TBSP should be necessary.
7. Take a plastic foodsafe ziplock bag and push it into the hole, curling the ziplock part inside-out to hug the lip of the jar. You can also use a rubber band to secure, but it isn't strictkly necessary. Pour clean water into the new plastic cavity to form a water seal: the water in the bag won't mix with the water in the kraut, but it will form an airtight seal.
8. Put in a dark corner of the kitchen or even the pantry and let sit. Wait 3 weeks.
9. Gently remove the water seal + plastic bag and transfer to smaller jars for storage, then refrigerate.

Unfortunately, much like the coronavirus vaccine, you might be waiting a bit until this one is available for consumption. Natural sauerkraut takes 3 weeks and up to 1 month to fully mature. The microbes in the broth need time to work, but the process is powerful enough to kill e-coli and salmonella. The cheapness, the ease, and the payoff is worth it.

There's no big trick to prevent it from spoiling. Just make sure the kraut stays covered in water and the baggie stays in place. You'll see it start bubbling within a week, so you may need to press down to get the carbon-dioxide bubbles out. On the off-chance that something went wrong, those whole cabbage leaves on top will be the ones to go bad. They can be discarded and the rest of the batch is fine to eat.

Yes, you can also use this technique for other veggies, though I recommend at first layering them into the 'kraut before trying to pickle them on their own (unless you pursue further instruction on pickling that veggie). Sliced onions, whole garlic cloves, peeled carrots, sticks of turnip, and even raw beets are good additions. Many spices go well but use in very small amounts. Allspice, fenugreek, mustard seed, cumin, and coriander are good choices.

Fermentation secret: tannins are what keep the veggies crunchy, which you can add via a fresh grape leaf, or some loose tea leaves at the bottom (not a tea bag). The tannins preserve the crunchiness of the original veggie and is especially useful to keeping cucumber pickles extra-crisp. The trick works for kraut so if you like yours extra-crunchy, add a grape leaf.
 
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laser_printer

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Dec 10, 2019
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Alright, I tried to be fancy but ended up being mediocre instead.

1 medium onion (yellow for me)
2 pounds of cubed meat
3/4 cup sour cream
1/4 cup mayo
1 pound of brown mushrooms
Homemade beef stock or broth preferred, but store bought will do.
Salt, pepper and thyme to your liking

Enjoy my shit video with my superior music taste to cook too.

Shits like 3 carbs a serving.

 
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CrapSandwich

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Sep 10, 2006
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This is a slightly altered version of Chef John's delicious chicken enchilada recipe available at Chef John's site.

Chicken Enchilada
Prep 25 m ∙ Cook 15 m ∙ Makes 6 servings ∙ Difficulty Medium ∙ Source Chef John
INGREDIENTS
  • Sauce:
  • 3 tablespoons butter
  • 3 tablespoons olive oil
  • 1 cup diced onion
  • 1 teaspoon salt
  • 5 tablespoons all-purpose flour
  • 3 tablespoons ancho chili powder
  • 2 teaspoons cumin
  • 1 teaspoon chipotle chili powder
  • 1 teaspoon black pepper
  • 1/2 teaspoon oregano
  • 1/2 teaspoon cayenne pepper
  • 1/2 teaspoon cinnamon
  • 5 cloves garlic, minced
  • 3 tablespoons tomato paste
  • 4 cups chicken broth
  • Filling:
  • 18 corn tortillas
  • 1.5 lbs. chicken, shredded
  • 4 green onions, diced
  • 1/2 bunch cilantro, chopped
  • 12 oz. Pepper Jack, shredded
  • 8 oz. Mexican blend cheese, shredded
DIRECTIONS
Melt butter with olive oil in a saucepan over medium heat. Add onion and salt; cook and stir until onion starts to turn golden brown, 3 to 5 minutes. Stir in flour, chili powder, cumin, chipotle, black pepper, oregano, cayenne, cinnamon, and garlic. Cook and stir until fragrant, about 3 minutes. Add tomato paste and mix until fully combined. Pour in chicken broth and whisk until smooth.
Set heat to high and bring sauce to a simmer. Reduce heat to medium-low and simmer, stirring occasionally, until flavors come together, about 10 minutes. Taste and season as desired.
Preheat the oven to 410 degrees.
Cover a casserole dish with enchilada sauce. Place a tortilla on top and add chicken, pepper jack, cilantro, and green onions. Spoon on more sauce and repeat layers, finishing top layer with sauce, the remaining pepper jack and mexican cheese blend.
Bake in the preheated oven until cheese melts and sauce is bubbling, 13 to 15 minutes.
 

GymWolf

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Jun 11, 2019
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my culinary skills start with making bread and melted cheese and finish with a flavourless frittata, not really helpfull...

but i made a killer microoven frozen pizza 😆 (the secret is thinking that you are tasting something else while eating it)
 
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Sejan

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my culinary skills start with making bread and melted cheese and finish with a flavourless frittata, not really helpfull...

but i made a killer microoven frozen pizza 😆 (the secret is thinking that you are tasting something else while eating it)
I highly suggest taking some time to learn cooking. It’s a great way to save some money by eating out less often. Choose something that you are interested in making and find a recipe. You don’t have to worry about special techniques or ingredients to make something worth eating. You’d be surprised how quickly you can learn to make a few dishes worth eating.
 
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GymWolf

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I highly suggest taking some time to learn cooking. It’s a great way to save some money by eating out less often. Choose something that you are interested in making and find a recipe. You don’t have to worry about special techniques or ingredients to make something worth eating. You’d be surprised how quickly you can learn to make a few dishes worth eating.
nah in reality i usually eat simple things like chicken, salads, white fish, a lot of meat, eggs, potatoes etc. not really complicated things to cook in a "eatable" way.
i don't have passion for cooking and i have zero fantasy or skill in the kicthen but it's ok, in this way i enjoy more when i eat tasty food in restaurants or when i buy some special shit during travels and such.

i just don't have the green thumb for cooking like some people, and i'm too lazy to even start trying tbh. 😆
i like eating but i hate cooking:lollipop_grinning_sweat:
 
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