The Anti-Monitor
Banned
What happened?
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Dating-Age |OT3| Positivity, Confidence, and Not Being a "Nice" Guy
- Thread starter soultron
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What happened?
Explain, I have a feeling you are overanalyzing again.
Somewhat in this situation too. 1. Only problem is I don't know the exact time she works at the store (and can only can go there once or twice a week at most) 2. And when she works she's usually with two other people on the counter. Need to get lucky and bump into her somewhere, so i can start a conversation.
José Mourinho
cocknose
The girl I was talking about, on both occasions I've had been speaking to her has been on her own. Though I was with a friend so not the greatest time to try and chat her up. That said, had I of been on my own, I still wouldn't of had the conkers to ask her out/for her number.Somewhat in this situation too. 1. Only problem is I don't know the exact time she works at the store (and can only can go there once or twice a week at most) 2. And when she works she's usually with two other people on the counter. Need to get lucky and bump into her somewhere, so i can start a conversation.
Edit: I have a friend, who posts on this forum no less, who asked a girl in store out and he got knocked back. Bad news.
Vermillion
Banned
NeOak
Member
You should have waited a day (until tomorrow) before texting her. Its too soon and too much.
NotTheGuyYouKill
Member
Is Danj Combine 2.0? His excuses are pretty funny.
Sometimes people need to be forced. Danj, I'm on the next flight to the UK and I'm bringing along a friend...
Either you go outside and run, or I go outside and chase you.
Track pants are like... 10 bucks at Wal-Mart. You can't find the equivalent amount lying around somewhere in your place? You're way too transparent, dude.
Hey Joker... you gotta chill man. Chiiiiill
Sometimes people need to be forced. Danj, I'm on the next flight to the UK and I'm bringing along a friend...
Either you go outside and run, or I go outside and chase you.
Track pants are like... 10 bucks at Wal-Mart. You can't find the equivalent amount lying around somewhere in your place? You're way too transparent, dude.
Hey Joker... you gotta chill man. Chiiiiill
Vermillion
Banned
I disagree on that. I prefer to text the day after.
ConradCervantes
Banned
Any tips on how to be a better lover? My girlfriend just confessed to me that she has faked the majority of her orgasms with me. She claims it has been a problem for her ever since she has been having sex, and that she doesn't feel comfortable cumming around others. My worry is that I'm partially to blame, considering the fact that in the three years that my ex and I were together, I could count the amount of orgasms she had on one hand.
I honestly don't know what is wrong. I know that the clitoris is usually best when stimulation is concerned since most women can't orgasm vaginally, so I have been using oral sex as a warmup to the main event. I can feel her clit whenever I finger her or eat her out, so I know my way around her anatomy. Ugh, this is going to bother me for a while, I know it.
I honestly don't know what is wrong. I know that the clitoris is usually best when stimulation is concerned since most women can't orgasm vaginally, so I have been using oral sex as a warmup to the main event. I can feel her clit whenever I finger her or eat her out, so I know my way around her anatomy. Ugh, this is going to bother me for a while, I know it.
Devolution
Member
God I will never understand faking it. You or her should rub her clit while you're penetrating her if and when you can't hit a g-spot. And if either of your hands get tired, use a vibrator, it will feel good for the both of you. Tell her to get herself off so she knows where to tell you to concentrate. Some women really need to fuckin' figure out their bodies and stop making men figure it out for them christ.
ConradCervantes
Banned
Tonight we were fooling around and while I was munching away I could see her fingers slowly moving towards my face so she could touch herself, which I've seen her do before and was the first hint that things were rotten in Denmark. I'm not too upset about it; she was actually crying as she told me and said she wished she had done so sooner. According to her I'm the first guy she's ever told, but I'm taking that info with a grain of salt.
I joked that next weekend when I see her again I should hide in my closet while she plays around so I could watch her and see how to please her myself. As far as how I feel about the matter, I can understand her hesitance to let herself enjoy the moment around others, but I feel hurt that she kept it from me for so long and conducted herself the way she did. Honesty is paramount to me, even with sex.
I joked that next weekend when I see her again I should hide in my closet while she plays around so I could watch her and see how to please her myself. As far as how I feel about the matter, I can understand her hesitance to let herself enjoy the moment around others, but I feel hurt that she kept it from me for so long and conducted herself the way she did. Honesty is paramount to me, even with sex.
Devolution
Member
Same. Which is why I'd be livid if someone didn't want to really orgasm with me. Total sign of distrust in my opinion. I get that people have "issues" in the bedroom but you either trust someone enough to do stuff to you or own up to your intimacy problems.
Ether_Snake
å®å®å®å®å®å®å®å®å®å®å®å®å®å®å®
Don't be so hard on her, it's not like she's cheating on you. She said she's not comfortable having orgasm in front of someone else, it's not a choice she makes. You got the answer right in front of you: you need to help her become more comfortable. Let her do whatever she wants to do, that's a better step in the right direction then blocking her or letting her block herself through mental discomfort.
It's that or she's a lesbian.
But seriously, just become more comfortable with one another, and make her feel good enough being with you that she'll be able to please herself to orgasm. You can then go further together from there.
That's just putting up resistance so you don't have to do it. If you don't have money to go to the gym, lift a chair or two. Gyms don't have magical weights
Okay, well, I know this is going to sound like an excuse, but I feel like if I try to engage in some half-assed directionless self-initiated method of trying to lose weight, it will seem utterly pointless and have no results. I don't know anything about this shit, and if I try to google it there's a million and one scary looking bodybuilder pages with all sorts of technical shit on.
Edit: As for sex, women and relationships, who do you even care that much? I'm not asking, you're supposed to ask yourself this at this point I think
WIth regard to the women and relationships thing, it's because I finally realised that the thing making my life suck at the moment is loneliness. As for the sex, well... like I said, at this point, I'd really like to just get it over with so I don't have to think about it so much.
EDIT:
Crap, I do sound like that don't I :/
But anyway you're absolutely right, I would be much more likely to be able to do something about this if I had someone else who could help motivate me. This is why going to a gym would be better, because they have trainers and instructors and whatever. If I try and do something by myself I'm not gonna end up doing it right.
HarryHengst
Member
Most trainers are completely worthless. Come over to the fitness thread, we'll give you much better advice, both for diet as well as exercise.
NotTheGuyYouKill
Member
Hm, I'd agree with the gym. Girls are there to work out, not get hit on unless the attraction is immediately mutual. Where else to not hit on a girl...
Funeral maybe. I'm sorry, I actually have very little experience here.
Here's what I advise you to do. Go outside. Run. For like 20 minutes. Just run. And then do it the next day. And then the next. And so on for a couple of weeks. You know what happens when you don't do it one day? You feel weird, like an itch. Like you gotta do it again.
That's kinda what happened to me. If I skip a day, I feel weird, like something is wrong. It gives you a good feeling, running. Just do that. 20 minutes is all you need to start, run around the block, and if you got some extra time, up and down the street a few times. Small starts, dude. I'm by no means very fit yet (God, dieting, so hard to give up junk food), but actually working out, it does feel good. And it doesn't take a ton of time. It's not like you're doing the hundred meter sprint or running a marathon. Fast walk, jog.
And there's no "right" way to do it, I think. I mean, there's safety stuff when lifting or whatever, but hey man, start small, go and sweat, work those muscles.
As for the sex thing... are you a virgin or it's just been a long time? I'm hesitant to say it because I don't have any experience, but maybe you should just go and get it over with with like a hooker or something. I mean, it's seems like it's a block in your mind right now. Though I wouldn't want you to get a hooker addiction.
I don't actually know if that's good advice.
I work with lots of PTs and I half-disagree with you. There are plenty of bad trainers out there, but there are also excellent ones. I don't disagree about checking out the fitness thread, however.
How built do I have to be if I want to date really beautiful women? Is there a certain personality I have to take up? You see, I've been practicing my club moves at home... never been to a real club before but I'm getting ready to try one. The only problem is that I live with my grandmother and aunt and it would be really weird to 'pick up' a girl and invite her home. Plus I don't drink (straight edge ftw) or smoke so she'd have to be the same.
But yeah working on getting in shape before any of that. I've been doing about 200 pushups a day (spread out, not at once) and 300 situps and a lot (countless) of jumping jacks. You can kind of see my six pack starting to show even.
But yeah working on getting in shape before any of that. I've been doing about 200 pushups a day (spread out, not at once) and 300 situps and a lot (countless) of jumping jacks. You can kind of see my six pack starting to show even.
NotTheGuyYouKill
Member
This thread has taught me that confidence, not adopting alternate personalities, wins women.
lol, club moves.
ManDudeChild
Member
Boozeroony
Member
HarryHengst
Member
How much money you make is more important than how hot your body is, hth.
Also, good luck with your future back problems if you do 300 situps a day.
The Anti-Monitor
Banned
If you think the problem is yours (but from an outsider it seems it's hers), just pick her up some day she has nothing to do, and tell her to teach you how to make her cum. Then spend the whole day going down on her. If she doesnt know, well, explore!
electricshake
Member
That's because it is. Losing a bit of weight and getting a bit fitter isn't some ridiculously complex thing. Consume fewer calories than you expend and you will lose weight. Do a bit of physical activity every day - walk to work, or if you get public transport get off a few stops early and walk the rest. Go out for a jog in the evening. Reduce your calorie intake. There's a fitness thread on gaf, have you checked it out?
I joined the gym a couple of months ago (£18 a month so not expensive) and didn't bother with a personal trainer - just hit the treadmill and the cross trainer. Noticed a huge difference already - it's not as difficult as you think. And if you're not happy with some aspect of yourself but are actually trying to do something about it, people (women) will respect you more for it.
How do you know you won't do it right? That's a very defeatist attitude to take. As for motivation, do you have any friends who want to get in shape? Or family members? I go with my sister, so we motivate each other. I usually listen to my own music when working out as well, which makes it more fun.
This.
And best of all it's free!
I've never personally had the patience for the gym, but running is definitely worth it.
Perhaps look at this Danj?
http://www.coolrunning.com/engine/2/2_3/181.shtml
I'd suggest not running for 20 minutes just yet, but what I would suggest is to walk for 5 mins to warm up, run for 5 mins and then walk again for a bit. It'll slowly get you into it.
Do this every other day at first, and then slowly build it up.
Also remember to drink plenty of water.
Honestly you sound worst than Combine.
Atleast his negativity comes from failing. You on the other hand arent even trying. If something doesnt go 100% according to plan for you, you just dont do it, or just uses that as an excuse.
You say your biggest problem is loniness, yet you havent taken a single step in solving that problem. You seem to want to go from where you are now to having a GF and being happy, but you dont want to take all the steps in between. You say you dont like to half-ass, but thats exactly what you are doing.
If you have time to sit on gaf and talk about your problems in general, you have time to get them fixed as well. During February I stopped eating kebab and went out dancing at clubs 2-3 nights per week. I lost 10 pounds that way (by accident xD). Had I been going to the gym more regularly during that time, maybe more would've happened. So there are lots of ways you could exercise. I apparently combined it with trying to be more social and having more fun with friends (who share the Brent Smith mindset).
José Mourinho
cocknose
Folks, I think it could very much be case of each to their own with Danj. I for example, can run, but I hate it and find it mind numbingly boring. I love playing football though, because you cover a lot of ground, it really works you out, it's fun and social.
Darren870
Member
Why is this such a big deal? If anything I would imagine it would help you get over any fears you might have....
Cutting pop/soda is another quick way to drop pounds. I stopped drinking pop back in high school and lost about 15 pounds in two months. I switched to water with lemon.
Indeed.
I think occasionally drinking soda is fine, but as long as it's in moderation.
You should at least be drinking about 8 glasses of water daily.
José Mourinho
cocknose
José Mourinho
cocknose
I agree, been off it for a year now. Used to drink 2-3 cans a day. Now I actually enjoy it when I drink it as it's something different.
Most definitely.
We guys need to realise how individual girls are. Getting to know how the general anatomy of girls are is of course a required first step. Getting to know the anatomy of your girlfriend is the second step. But that doesn't amount to anything unless you know what she likes and what gets her off.
This segways neatly into my next point. We guys are considerably simpler when it comes to achieving orgasms. The number one difference is how much small things can influence the ability to get there. Excess stress sitting in the body or mind of a girl can completely block it, which can be a hard thing for us to understand. Any tension in the back or neck will probably detrimental to achieving an orgasm. And unless they're completely at ease, you can pretty much forget about it.
Don't joke about it. It'll make her feel guilty for not being open about it, and it will make it even harder for her. I don't know which of these two describes her the best - either she knows her body from solo experience but is unable to share, or the more likely, she knows her body some, but she hasn't been open enough about her sexuality to have thoroughly explored it even for herself. If she doesn't know what she likes, she can't tell you what to do different. And never think there's nothing you can't do differently. There's a whole heap of guys out there that are certain they know all the techniques and all the moves to rock anyone's world, but in the end, it's all down to listening to the body of the girl you're with, and often listening to what she says, too.
Why did you get upset when she wanted to touch herself while you were "munching away"? The only thing that's off is the lack of communication. Most girls that aren't secure about their sexuality will also not enjoy getting eaten out. They're likely too self-conscious about their bodies to let go and enjoy it. And all in all, you can't just be "munching away" for heaps of time. Girls are all about the build-up. You'd probably want to spend equal, and if not more, time building up to the first lick as you should do with your tongue buried. If you go straight to 11, there's nowhere to go. And if you go straight to 11, it will feel more like a 4.
She shouldn't cry about it. She should be proud that she shared it with someone. From here you guys can try and figure it out together - getting comfortable around each other. Just lie naked under the covers. Get her to just touch herself while you're next to her, not for her to come, but for her to get used to doing that next to someone. From there, just take it slow, let her know it's natural to need some time to open up. She can also get more comfortable with herself on her own. It's a process, and there's no hurry in it.
The number one thing for you is not to say it annoys you. Just be willing to improve on your own performance, but not by forcing it. Not like "I'M GONNA LICK YOU TILL YOU COME, SINCE MY TONGUE IS IMMACULATE!" - just have patience, figure out what you can do for her, but also figure out both of your sexualities together, with time.
EDIT: Danj, get over to the workout thread. Ask for the info you need, and you'll get all the info you'd need, in a very structured manner.
HarryHengst
Member
Do this, but first read the OP, because else people will yell at you for not reading it. It has a shitload of useful information.
I've been thinking of cutting down on it since school raised the price with 20% over night (which is now twice what a can costs at the local game lab 20 meter away). We usually buy one can of coke per lecture during the break :S Doesn't feel like a whole lot though. I'm not fat apart from a bit of a tummy either.
Top advice.
Can you hook him up?
yeah i'll hook him up with some HGH yo.
Got a link to this thread? I remember there being a thread like that but it was full of all these super hardcore people with all sorts of fancy bodybuilder terminology and shit, it was very intimidating.
HarryHengst
Member
http://www.neogaf.com/forum/showthread.php?t=431741
read the OP and after that just tell you are new to working out, state some goals and people will be willing to help you. Yes, the frequent posters there are the people who are dedicated to working out, but everyone was a beginner once.
Also, stop making excuses. Its just a thread, and the worst that can happen is that people will tell you to just pick up weights and put them down again.
So...I came back from my date. I dunno what to think. It started off well, we were at a bar on a roof which she really liked. After about 45 minutes we went to get something to eat but the fucking place was shut(they said they were open on Easter Saturday too)! We ended up going to another bar and drinking there for a bit then to a cocktail lounge above it. Jazz, cocktails, really nice view. It seemed really good and she loved it there. She even seemed to be flirting a bit(Like when I said I can be coercive she goes "Yeah, I can see that" with a smile, ect). We ended up pretty drunk there and went out looking for food, unfortunately everything at that time was closed and took a while to find a place. Finally found a Chinese place but she said she was tired then and after we ate she left. I then got a text right after saying I "seemed like a good mate" and she wanted to meet again. I sent a message back saying I look forward to seeing her again and hope the next night lasts longer(she left at 1am) but it was good hanging out with a beautiful girl on a Saturday night...I dunno, I'm fucking drunk.
I don't get it though. She seemed flirty and interested at the start and over it by the end?
Ive never really had a 1 on 1 date before so I'm not really sure how to act, I thought I was alright now. Maybe I should have been more forward? Should I have tried to kiss her good night? I also feel like I was TOO honest(like I'm back with my parents until I can find a room mate, I feel like I should have just said I was had a place)
I don't get it though. She seemed flirty and interested at the start and over it by the end?
Ive never really had a 1 on 1 date before so I'm not really sure how to act, I thought I was alright now. Maybe I should have been more forward? Should I have tried to kiss her good night? I also feel like I was TOO honest(like I'm back with my parents until I can find a room mate, I feel like I should have just said I was had a place)
grap3fruitman
Banned
That's actually really depressing."Even if you're successful at being unsuccessful you're still successful at something so just change what you're successful at and move forward."
Brent's words of wisdom of the day
Yes, god forbid you learn something.
Also, I really need to label the numbers of the women texting me. I'm beginning to confuse one for the other.
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