The trouble has been for me though, that anxiety not only has been a mental obstacle, but a physical one as well. When my own body becomes physically affected by symptoms which come close to panic attacks (trouble breathing, chest pains, nervous twitches, feeling lightheaded or nauseous) then that's just another thing I have going against me. I know I need to find a way to drop anxiety altogether (and the meds and therapy I've been going to have helped a bit), but that seems like such a long road that'll take years.No, this is not true at all. To some people it may come naturally, but for many others including myself it's been a huge work in progress and years of trying before results. You have to drop this mentality of anxiety being your obstacle like Mr. City mentioned if you ever want to get anywhere.
I definitely cannot look at myself and say I did my best with regards to many things. After all, there is not much I've been able to find about myself that is something that can be viewed in a positive light.I took a piece of looseleaf paper, and wrote down one of my favorite quotes, and hung it up on my wall: "You miss 100% of the shots you don't take". When I look back on my life, it's ok if I failed in some aspects, but knowing that I didn't give my best effort would be inexcusable.
It's hard for me to go without gaming since that is one of the only things that can calm my mind when I'm flooded with anxiety/depression/stress, especially in the evenings after a day of work when I'm so stressed out and tired. Though, it sounds like a lot of my fatigue may be due to the medications I'm taking as well. Being active has also been difficult, as I've had less and less free time lately. I try to stay active with my weight training but it's been hard. And that also hasn't been something that has helped me become more "out there" or whatever. Why would I go to a book store when I do not read books, or a coffee shop when I do not drink coffee anyway?I've seen you post in this thread before and I've noticed some people have stopped giving you advice. I know anxiety/depression can be hard, with first hand experience in both of those categories, but you're going to let that stop you? I've seen you say in this thread that you enjoy playing video games. My advice: go a week without gaming. Devote the time you would have spent in your safe bubble out in the real world; a book store, coffee shop, staying active.
On the subject of conversation, the problem for me anyway, is that the conversation just dies very quickly. Like, I can possibly get to a point where I've managed to get a few back and forths done, but after that, awkward silence. I run out of things to talk about, basically. I certainly do not have anything that interesting to talk about. It's not gone well when I've tried to talk about myself in the past. And of course, all this is after I can manage to come up with something to even talk about to begin with. Usually though, it takes so long for me to come up with anything at all, by the time I've even got something, girl has moved on or it seems like too much time has passed (if eye-contact or other contact has been made).