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Dating Age |OT7| Tough Love

L

Lulubop

Member
NoctisVsStar said:
Tinder been mad dry for me lately (NYC) here.
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I feel like Tinder is over in NYC. Like people have it just to have, swipe on the toilet and not give another glance. There's better options now and if youre serious about dating in the city you've problem moved on to a different app. I still get about the same amount of matches as I've always had but no one is talking, no one is responding. Could be on my end though. Bumble on the other hand has been really good to me, expect for this last reset which is funny because no I can actually afford to date seriously.
 
L

LookAtMeGo

Member
Im actually just waiting to hear back from the bank about a loan to pay off the remainder of my car at a lower interest and extend it a while longer. Plus I started sharing my internet with my neighbour and got on a new cell phone plan that if it all works out will save me about $400/month.

Fingers crossed that happens since it would make dating a little easier on the wallet.

Otherwise I just tough it out 1 more year and my ridiculous car payments will be done with.
 
X

Xun

Member
3 dates lined up for next week and I'm chatting to a few others... 😏

I just need to make sure I don't overdo it...
 
N

Neoweee

Member
Xun said:
3 dates lined up for next week and I'm chatting to a few others... 😏

I just need to make sure I don't overdo it...
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Once I have two lined up, I tend to dial it down. Maybe get a third scheduled, but then absolutely no more. My fumble rate increases dramatically once I have more than that in orbit.
 
S

SoldierOfLight

Member
Krauser Kat said:
If you want to see her, go to the bar. Maybe she wants to see how you interact with people she likes. Maybe she needed the time to herself but her friend is still much higher on her priority list then you and will probably always be there.

or just take the time to relax on a free night and ask her on another date sometime soon after.
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I do want to see her and she does want to see me as well. We did change our date to tomorrow night instead. It's more the way she "invited" me that I disliked as if she felt compelled to.
Original plan was for us to go on a date which I told her I had booked and then go with her friend to a bar later. She cancelled the date due to other things which is fine. But the said I'm going to go with my friend to the bar still so feel free to join us.

If I was going somewhere with a friend I wouldnt invite the girl with a 'feel free to join us' it would be more of a come with me tonight and hang out with my friend ( more my call than leaving it up to her)

No big deal but you know how it is. I can already see it tonight...going to get that drunk/buzz call from her wishing she went out with me. Happens more often than I'd like.
 
N

NoctisVsStar

Member
Lulubop said:
I feel like Tinder is over in NYC. Like people have it just to have, swipe on the toilet and not give another glance. There's better options now and if youre serious about dating in the city you've problem moved on to a different app. I still get about the same amount of matches as I've always had but no one is talking, no one is responding. Could be on my end though. Bumble on the other hand has been really good to me, expect for this last reset which is funny because no I can actually afford to date seriously.
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People match and don't talk, I'm having the same exp
 
C

CreepingFear

Member
backslashbunny said:
T____T

SoCal here.


Anyway, honestly, I'd probably prefer dating a guy that's on par, career wise, as me? Ideally, we'd match better if we're both white collar professionals, but that has more to do with the background. Probably both middle upper class, same lifestyle, etc.

As a woman, if there are going to be kids, it's going to be you. It's going to be you that falls behind while pregnant, it's going to be you that's more at risk. Men and women both can be fired from a job, but woman HAVE to leave their office (maybe even unpaid) for at least a month or so when they give birth. If the woman is also the sole breadwinner, there may be financial strains. If the woman makes the majority of the money, there's still going to be a noticeable effect on household financials.

Personally I don't want the burden of being the main one responsible for household financials (like if I earn 120k and he earns 40k). That's also a result of growing up in a sexist household and culture, but it's just "bad" for a woman to marry a man who earns significantly less than her.

Obviously I don't care that I earn more than my husband or that I have a graduate degree while he doesn't. I wouldn't care if I made significantly more, provided we both make over a set amount (I make 180k, he makes 90k). He would just have to do more household work and do the lion's share of parenting. However, in most households with two working parents, the mom always ends up doing a significant share of the household work and child raising, even if the two work similar hours. If this is the case, I can see why a chick would prefer a man who had a better job-- that way, overall, the effect on the household is more equitable.**

So I think there's more to consider that just "golddiggers." No doubt you'll have women who are looking to coast by on their husbands/looks, but for the rest of us there's reasons why it may trend this way.


**Personal example - I was working 70 to 100 hours a week when we first started living together, and he only went to class part time, no job. However, since he grew up in a household where the dad worked a ton and the mom worked but did most of the chores and child rearing, he still didn't do laundry, clean, take out the trash, wash dishes, or cook very much. He expected that I would do it. I was like, what the fuck? You need to do your share of the work.

It took a couple fights and a couple of months, but he now does almost all the household work, while I still work those hours and only do minimal household work. My husband is understanding and kind and not sexist at all, but even he was unable to escape the deeply ingrained sexist gender roles of a household. I can totally understand why a woman would not want this fight, especially because there's no guarantee her partner will step up to the plate (since most don't, based on studies).
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Thanks for proving my point. I only make 42k, so I am not viable.
 
N

Neoweee

Member
CreepingFear said:
Thanks for proving my point. I only make 42k, so I am not viable.
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Oh come the fuck on with this negative attitude. You're fucking middle-class! Yes, middle-class people get laid all the goddamn time. You're acting like you're some pathetic hobo that lives in a boxcar and can't afford or doesn't deserve a decent lifestyle. Get over it. You know who have relationships? High school students. Artists. Grad students. Unemployed people.
 
D

Djostikk

Member
I'm chatting with one girl on Tinder now and I'm really happy so far. Turns out we live really close to each other (like 200 meters), and we are planning to go out tomorrow, I hope everything will be alright, don't want to mess this up, since it may be the beginning of relationship. Any tips how to behave yourself? What about daily chatting?
 
A

Advocatus Diaboli

Member
CreepingFear said:
Thanks for proving my point. I only make 42k, so I am not viable.
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You didn’t read what she said.

First, it’s California. I make like 150k where I am, but I lead a comfortable, not decadent, lifestyle. If you HAVE a job, are responsible with money, and have some kind of plan for the future, you’re FINE.

Second, are you even targeting “young professionals possibly considering having children in 2-4 years?” I am, so I completely understand her angle. If you’re not, you’re FINE.

(On that note, I’m so fortunate that my mom was the one with steady work when I was growing up, not my dad. I never had to unlearn gender roles! And I enjoy doing household chores since I’m a goddamned neat freak.)
 
L

LookAtMeGo

Member
I make between 45 - 50k and that Canadian dollars! If I didnt spend so much money on going out to drink and party I'd prolly have 20-30k in my bank account.

When I got my head injury I couldnt smoke or drink for like 6 months and I was on disability making only 70% of my wage and I was able to save up like 4k.

Then I spent it all on partying as soon as I was all better.

On a side note I havent been drunk in a week and havent smoked in 2 weeks. Yay!
 
L

Llyranor

Member
Neoweee said:
Oh come the fuck on with this negative attitude. You're fucking middle-class! Yes, middle-class people get laid all the goddamn time. You're acting like you're some pathetic hobo that lives in a boxcar and can't afford or doesn't deserve a decent lifestyle. Get over it. You know who have relationships? High school students. Artists. Grad students. Unemployed people.
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Hey now, even hobos can get laid. Ask that GAFer whose gf cheated on him with a homeless guy.
 
A

Advocatus Diaboli

Member
LookAtMeGo said:
I make between 45 - 50k and that Canadian dollars! If I didnt spend so much money on going out to drink and party I'd prolly have 20-30k in my bank account.

When I got my head injury I couldnt smoke or drink for like 6 months and I was on disability making only 70% of my wage and I was able to save up like 4k.

Then I spent it all on partying as soon as I was all better.

On a side note I havent been drunk in a week and havent smoked in 2 weeks. Yay!
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Congrats! Me too, actually. Although I’m going out for drinks and dancing tonight. I’ll be good tomorrow night though.
 
L

LookAtMeGo

Member
Blam said:
I need a link for this it can't be real. Also grats on being clean for a few weeks.
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Advocatus Diaboli said:
Congrats! Me too, actually. Although I’m going out for drinks and dancing tonight. I’ll be good tomorrow night though.
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Thanks. I did have a few drinks though, I just didnt get drunk. Ideally thats where I want to be is where I can go out for a few and not get drunk and just save it for special occasions.

Like I met up with a few buddies the other night to shoot some pool and I just had two pints and a steak sandwich and went home. I went out for dinner with a date another day and just had a pint with dinner then a glass of wine at home. Thats no problem.

Its the slamming a 6 pack before I leave the house then spending $200 at the bar that was killing me. Although those are the nights that funny stuff happened.


My logic was that if I slam a 6 and get a nice buzz going I will spend less money when I go out. But it doesnt really work that way because I just gave less of a fuck and probably spent even more money than I would have because my drunk self would convince myself that I could grab a few more pitchers of beer and itll be fine.
 
E

Ernest

Banned
Lulubop said:
I mean, there has to be people out there with a homeless guy fetish
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I saw a super hot homeless girl once, no fetish necessary. Took me aback.

I don't think I would've inquired about a relationship, but if she were interested, definitely would've smashed.
 
Blam

Blam

Member
Ernest said:
I saw a super hot homeless girl once, no fetish necessary. Took me aback.

I don't think I would've inquired about a relationship, but if she were interested, definitely would've smashed.
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image.php
 
N

NoctisVsStar

Member
Talking to this girl on tinder, wonder if should just go straight for the kill and ask her out for drinks or get her number.. hmm..

She could always give it to me later in person
4RZEL9m.gif
 
N

NoctisVsStar

Member
Lulubop said:
The only message I send on tinder is, "Hey let's get a drink" tbqh. The gif version worked better
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LookAtMeGo said:
Being that upfront doesnt work well for me. Something about my face must be rapey or something. I have to have a convo first.
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its the way you frame the message, you gotta be upfront and somewhat apologetic.. by that i mean " hey I don't if it's too fast but.. would like to grab a drink this weekend? Or whenever you can since you work and all" it works like a charm
 
L

LookAtMeGo

Member
I usually go through the motions. Like "hey how are you? what do you do for work and fun yada yada yada" then when the convo seems to be dying out I throw out an invite to meet up.
 
S

SoldierOfLight

Member
Okay so girl and I are planning to spend Saturday together. She let me decide wether we spend the day or just the evening together.

Any one in L.A. who can offer advice? I'm clue less of things around L.A. since I'm in the valley and she lives out in L.A.
A few things to keep us busy together from brunch to late night.
Multiple locations isn't an issue either since we can drive anywhere.
 
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