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Dawkins faces anger after apparent insensitivity to blogger's gender equity complaint

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DiscoJer

Member
faceless007 said:
Oh I knew exactly what would happen when I saw this month-old topic made it to GAF but I clicked anyway. Always depressing to see GAF's reaction when confronted with women speaking out against their sexualization.

So I take it then that the 007 in your name doesn't refer to James Bond?

Because there is no sexualization of women at all in the books or movies. I mean, Pussy Galore, Octopussy, Holly Goodhead, those were just coincidence.

This thing is just so ridiculous. The only reason humans exist is because they have sex with other. It's part of our instincts. And whether it's fair or not, it's pretty much always the guy doing the initiating. The only way to actually find out if a woman is indeed interested in you is you know, asking.

Even strange women you don't know. Sometimes they say "yes". Sometimes even when they are in elevators.
 

Pandaman

Everything is moe to me
nib95 said:
Sex with strangers, or too socially awkward and not confident enough to talk to women at the bar so corner them in the elevator instead? Lol. Which is what this guy in question sounds like he did based on Rebecca's comments.

The latter has less merit. Socially award people can be creepy (imo).
"I would like to talk more."
 

nib95

Banned
Pandaman said:
"I would like to talk more."

"But I'm only confident and awkward enough to tell you this in this confined space so you have less of a chance to ignore me or make a dash for it. I could have easily talked to you earlier but instead I thought I'd just watch you and then pick my moment, I'm just creepy like that. Wrong idea? Bwahaha, don't be silly, why would you get think that? Deal with it!"
 

Spokker

Member
Trent Strong said:
Majority of humanity? No way.
Two people meet, have drinks, talk, end up having sex that night? Sure, most Americans. They are still basically strangers at the end of the night. If someone hasn't done that, they sure as hell would be willing to if the feeling was right.
 
There's a simple way to sum this up.

She is in the right at being more than a little creeped out, and it's perfectly okay for him to a creeper. Airing personal grievances on the internet though?

Neither comes out sterling, he comes off like self-absorbed ass. Listen dude, you pull creeper moves, you get creeper response.
 
You know, I'd be willing to bet just about anything that there are more than a handful of people who could've, theoretically, been successful in working the elevator angle with Rebecca Watson that night.

Just saying.
 
Gonaria said:
From now on I am going to consider you a joke poster just so I can feel better about humanity.
He said "whore", not me. I just said that Spokker's mom's enjoyment of sex with strangers could be biasing Spokker's perception of how common it is.
 

Pandaman

Everything is moe to me
nib95 said:
"But I'm only confident and awkward enough to tell you this in this confined space so you have less of a chance to ignore me or make a dash for it. I could have easily talked to you earlier but instead I thought I'd just watch you and then pick my moment, I'm just creepy like that. Wrong idea? Bwahaha, don't be silly, why would you get think that? Deal with it!"
Pretty rude to put someone on the spot in a public setting, but it doesn't really matter if you think the guy was being tacky or socially awkward. that's not what people have issue with. if she had just called it tacky, no one here would have ever heard of it.
 
Spokker said:
Two people meet, have drinks, talk, end up having sex that night? Sure, most Americans. They are still basically strangers at the end of the night. If someone hasn't done that, they sure as hell would be willing to if the feeling was right.

I doubt that a majority of women in the world have sex with strangers. Definitely not frequently. You've got to keep the Muslim world, etc. in mind too.
 

Piecake

Member
Matthew Gallant said:
He said it, not me. I just said that Spokker's mom's enjoyment of sex with strangers could be biasing his perception of how common it is.

Yea, thats not insulting at all...

Calling someone's mother, an assumed married woman, an adulterous cheat who sleeps around with a bunch of complete strangers is totally acceptable behavior...
 
Gonaria said:
Yea, thats not insulting at all...

Calling someone's mother, an assumed married woman, an adulterous cheat who sleeps around with a bunch of complete strangers is totally acceptable behavior...
I thought sex with strangers is OK? Didn't you say it was OK?
 
Gonaria said:
Yea, thats not insulting at all...

Calling someone's mother, an assumed married woman, an adulterous cheat who sleeps around with a bunch of complete strangers is totally acceptable behavior...

as long as he doesn't ask someone back to his place for coffee, he's an upstanding citizen.
 

Spokker

Member
Trent Strong said:
I doubt that a majority of women in the world have sex with strangers. Definitely not frequently. You've got to keep the Muslim world, etc. in mind too.
I agree. I would restrict the sample size to more decadent cultures like those in America. In some cultures, getting freaky is gambling with your life.
 

Pandaman

Everything is moe to me
Trent Strong said:
I doubt that a majority of women in the world have sex with strangers. Definitely not frequently. You've got to keep the Muslim world, etc. in mind too.
You've got to keep the men of the muslim world, etc in mind too. There's no shortage of prostitution out there.

Women get around as much as men in just about every culture where its possible for them to do it, and the men do it everywhere.
 

nib95

Banned
Spokker said:
Two people meet, have drinks, talk, end up having sex that night? Sure, most Americans. They are still basically strangers at the end of the night. If someone hasn't done that, they sure as hell would be willing to if the feeling was right.

Not that this is conclusive evidence by any stretch, but if this poll that indicates 80% of women voted they would not have sex on the first date is anything to go by (key word date, not elevator hook up), then no...it's far from 'most Americans'.

http://hellobeautiful.com/sex-love/hellobeautifulstaff2/first-date-sex-survey/

Here's one by ABC that suggests only 29% of respondents have ever had sex on the first date.

http://abcnews.go.com/Primetime/PollVault/story?id=156921&page=1

Welcome to reality guys, where most women don't just shag men on first sight, even if they find them attractive. I think you'll find unlike a lot of men Men (not all), women tend to be more interested (though not always) in other things, such as the guys personality, income, humour, traits, beliefs, job, sanity etc etc, which can sometimes take more than a single date or talk to come to a conclusion about.
 
Gonaria said:
I really hope you are just messing with me and are not actually serious...
No, really, do you think sex with strangers OK or not? I'm of the opinion that just because a lot of people do it doesn't make it the de facto standard. You are simultaneously angry with me for saying it's not the best thing and saying that Spokker's mom shouldn't be doing it. I want you to clarify.
 

Spokker

Member
nib95 said:
Here's one by ABC that suggests only 29% of respondents have ever had sex on the first date.

http://abcnews.go.com/Primetime/PollVault/story?id=156921&page=1
30% is pretty significant. That's a huge chunk of the population.

There's a difference between doing it and willing to do it. When some ABC intern comes by and asks you to participate in a survey, well, it's a different situation than being out with a guy you barely met, getting a little tipsy and deciding to pay him back for the free meal you just got.

And then there are just liars. Most people won't tell you they masturbate either.
 

nib95

Banned
Pandaman said:
Pretty rude to put someone on the spot in a public setting, but it doesn't really matter if you think the guy was being tacky or socially awkward. that's not what people have issue with. if she had just called it tacky, no one here would have ever heard of it.

She called it creepy and said it made her feel uncomfortable and sexualised. Nothing wrong with that. I'd imagine to most women all of those feelings could be a by product of this rather awkward situation.

The accusations of sexism etc, from what I'm reading in the OP, did not come from her.
 

greycolumbus

The success of others absolutely infuriates me.
faceless007 said:
Even assuming the distinction mattered, which it doesn't, why exactly does that make it more egregious? What is it about being confronted with the unspoken realities of asking a woman out at 4 am in a confined space that makes guys act like they're being emasculated?

For all the cries of her being "attention-seeking" and "bitching about nothing," the sum total of her input on the subject when it blew up was a calm two-minute digression in the middle of an otherwise innocuous 8-minute video blog. And that alone caused the whole goddamn Internet to lose their fucking minds and direct the most vicious misogynistic bile at her. So who's really bitching about nothing?


People seem to be misinterpreting the timeline a bit. Here:

- Watson turns down elevator-dude

- Watson makes an offhanded comment about it on her vlog

- Many comment how the implied correlation between what he did and the blatant misogyny Watson has recently talked about is at best a bit off-kelter and at worst opportunistic.

- Dawkins mocks her in typical Dawkins fashion, critiquing the time and energy put in the ordeal

- Open letters start getting tossed around, Watson completely gleams over the sardonicism in Dawkins comment despite being one of her defining attributes and one of the skeptics movement defining attributes.

- OP gets alerted about this in an Ebert tweet, apparently

Watson's point fell flat right after her initial "dont do that" comment, when the implication and the intent of her anecdote became clear. What Dawkins did wasn't out of line at all, especially for him, though I honestly would have preferred he stayed out of the issue. However, he clearly felt he needed to address the misdirection Watson's rant caused in the online skeptic community's dialogue. I'm not particularly a fan of Dawkins' blunt approach to matters, but I much prefer his honest diatribe to Watson's opportunistic and reductionist sort.

Just to be clear: I have nothing against Watson's action. In fact if the elevator-dude was any more of a creeper it would have been a very fitting and apt anecdote. As things stand however, its an occurrence of irony and should have never been used as a serious point of contention. I perhaps would be much more lenient on her if this whole thing wasn't brought up during the SGU podcast. Sorry, it was simply not the time or place for such matters. It seems Dawkins felt similarly in regard to how it affected the blogging community. From this perspective, I completely side with him.
 
nib95 said:
Not that this is conclusive evidence by any stretch, but if this poll that indicates 80% of women voted they would not have sex on the first date is anything to go by (key word date, not elevator hook up), then no...it's far from 'most Americans'.

http://hellobeautiful.com/sex-love/hellobeautifulstaff2/first-date-sex-survey/

Here's one by ABC that suggests only 29% of respondents have ever had sex on the first date.

http://abcnews.go.com/Primetime/PollVault/story?id=156921&page=1

Welcome to reality guys, where most women don't just shag men on first sight, even if they find them attractive. I think you'll find unlike a lot of men Men (not all), women tend to be more interested (though not always) in other things, such as the guys personality, income, humour, traits, beliefs, job etc etc.

First date =/= one-night stand

I remember seeing statistics showing nearly half of women have engaged in one-night stands, which most wouldn't consider "first dates"
 

Piecake

Member
Matthew Gallant said:
No, really, do you think sex with strangers OK or not? I'm of the opinion that just because a lot of people do it doesn't make it the de facto standard. You are simultaneously angry with me for saying it's not the best thing and saying that Spokker's mom shouldn't be doing it. I want you to clarify.

Then youre a moron if you can't see that there is a difference between two single people who don't know each other having a one night stand and a married woman having one night stands with a bunch of strangers.

The single people are just having fun no strings attached sex. The married woman is cheating on her husband. One act isnt hurting anybody. The other is.

It honestly boggles my mind that someone can't see this distinction.
 

jaxword

Member
Dawkins should pick his battles better. Even if he's right, he should know that charisma > Intelligence in the public arena, and a woman has a bit of an advantage on the internet.
 

Dead Man

Member
Matthew Gallant said:
No, really, do you think sex with strangers OK or not? I'm of the opinion that just because a lot of people do it doesn't make it the de facto standard. You are simultaneously angry with me for saying it's not the best thing and saying that Spokker's mom shouldn't be doing it. I want you to clarify.
No dude, you are saying his mum is a cheat and a liar, and you know it. Very different to two single people having random sex.
 

nib95

Banned
Spokker said:
30% is pretty significant. That's a huge chunk of the population.

There's a difference between doing it and willing to do it. When some ABC intern comes by and asks you to participate in a survey, well, it's a different situation than being out with a guy you barely met, getting a little tipsy and deciding to pay him back for the free meal you just got.

And then there are just liars. Most people won't tell you they masturbate either.

Obviously there's a chance, but most polls are anonymous and results pretty close. The above polls are for willing to do it and have done it. So my point stands. It's no where close to being a majority.

Oh and for the record, often polls for male masturbation are at near enough 100% and for women last I checked a poll had it at 92%. Sounds about right to me.
 
nib95 said:
She called it creepy and said it made her feel uncomfortable and sexualised. Nothing wrong with that. I'd imagine to most women all of those feelings could be a by product of this rather awkward situation.

The accusations of sexism etc, from what I'm reading in the OP, did not come from her.

Richard Dawkins believes I should be a good girl and just shut up about being sexually objectified
Every time I mention, however delicately, a possible issue of misogyny or objectification in our community, the response I get shows me that the problem is much worse than I thought
.
 

nib95

Banned
MorisUkunRasik said:

I'm confused, his comment towards her imo was misogynistic as he was essentially telling her to "deal/shut up about" being creeped out of feeling uncomfortable. And somehow now women feeling like they are being objectified is automatically crying sexism? Huh?

Also...

Poll of 12 said:
80 percent of Americans say they wouldn’t have a one-night stand with a celebrity if the opportunity arose

http://1280ksli.com/survey-gauges-global-feelings-on-adultery/

Well, there goes that theory too! Unlucky Tom Cruise?
 
nib95 said:
I'm confused, his comment towards her imo was mysicbgonistic as he was essentially telling her to "deal/shut up about" being creeped out of feeling uncomfortable. And somehow now women feeling like they are being objectified is automatically crying sexism? Huh?

Also...



http://1280ksli.com/survey-gauges-global-feelings-on-adultery/

Well, there goes that theory too! Unlucky Tom Cruise?


Hold up, did you even read that link?


"80% of U.S. singles say if given the opportunity, they would not cheat on a partner to have a one-night stand with a celebrity."


20% would cheat on their spouse with a celeb, I would say half of singles hooking up with a random person they found attractive is not that far fetched.

Jesus, can't believe you tried to pull that off.
 

nib95

Banned
MorisUkunRasik said:
Hold up, did you even read that link?


"80% of U.S. singles say if given the opportunity, they would not cheat on a partner to have a one-night stand with a celebrity."


20% would cheat on their spouse with a celeb, I would say half of singles hooking up with a random person they found attractive is not that far fetched.

Jesus, can't believe you tried to pull that off.

I copied and pasted it exactly as is from the article. I didn't 'try' anything.

EDIT: Dammit battery died, but yea apologies, I should have checked the original data. The article in question cherry picked their wording. Poor show.
 
nib95 said:
I copied and pasted it exactly as is from the article. I didn't 'try' anything.


So you directed everyone to an article to back up your point, that not only you failed to read, but it also happens to poke holes in the very argument you tried to back-up?

I can't shake my head hard enough.
 
nib95 said:
Lol. Imo (naturally you're free to have your own) you have a very skewed notion of what constitutes a modest or respectable women. Sorry, but it doesn't matter how good looking you are, I'd imagine most decent women would not sleep with a guy they'd just met in an elevator no matter how attractive they were. Fact that you think they would amuses me.

Wow. Are you still in high school or do you just not get out much?

nib95 said:
Also, none of the girls you met once in an elevator and then shagged could be considered 'modest'. Just so you know. Sort of contradictory to the meaning of the word with respect to women and the subject at hand.

Hahaha. So besides being the end-all authority on who can and can't be considered 'modest' based on one of their decisions and nothing else, what other awesome powers do you have?
 

Dead Man

Member
Matthew Gallant said:
And proof that both of them were single and that he knew she was single is forthcoming, I assume?
We are no longer talking about the incident in question, we are talking about the prevalence of one night stands. Which you stated one poster thought were more common than they are because of his mother. Do try to keep up.
 
MorisUkunRasik said:
You should just stop, you're making yourself look like a fool in here.
A little more than half of women having not had a one night stand suggests that they would rather not, wouldn't you say? So why assume a random woman at a conference who hasn't even flirted with you is prime pickup material?
 
Matthew Gallant said:
A little more than half of women having not had a one night stand suggests that they would rather not, wouldn't you say? So why assume a random woman at a conference who hasn't even flirted with you is prime pickup material?


Not having done something doesn't mean you wouldn't do it.

even so, a 50/50 chance is better than the zero you get from not trying and just heading home.
 

thatbox

Banned
This discussion has gotten a thousand times less stimulating now that Gaborn and other similarly reasonable posters have presumably gone to bed.
 

jaxword

Member
PezDispenser said:
Wow. Are you still in high school or do you just not get out much?



Hahaha. So besides being the end-all authority on who can and can't be considered 'modest' based on one of their decisions and nothing else, what other awesome powers do you have?

I believe nib95 is coming from a very conservative religious viewpoint, so that's likely where his views on women originate from.
 

Vagabundo

Member
Matthew Gallant said:
A little more than half of women having not had a one night stand suggests that they would rather not, wouldn't you say? So why assume a random woman at a conference who hasn't even flirted with you is prime pickup material?

What's wrong with asking politely? And we're only assuming that's what he was asking. Considering he was the talk, I'd guess he was trying to get to know her better. As awkward as it was, I doubt he was asking for sex.

He's allowed to ask, she's allowed to say no, get creeped out - she doesn't know the guy and he seems oblivious to the possible discomfort he may have caused. Whats not okay is to accuse him of hating women for asking. It's just silly.
 

nib95

Banned
Matthew Gallant said:
A little more than half of women having not had a one night stand suggests that they would rather not, wouldn't you say? So why assume a random woman at a conference who hasn't even flirted with you is prime pickup material?

Bear in mind, the figures are anecdotal at the moment. One's I've posted above about first dates etc are recorded figures. The one's you're talking about are from a guy who said he "heard about". A link would be advisable before we discuss it further.

So far we know from poll results the vast majority would not have sex on a first date, however some of the GAF'ers are telling us that whilst these same people might not have sex on a first date, the majority still have one night stands...

Right...I have a hard time believing that.
 
Dead Man said:
We are no longer talking about the incident in question, we are talking about the prevalence of one night stands. Which you stated one poster thought were more common than they are because of his mother. Do try to keep up.
I'll let you in on a secret, I said it just to get him to confront his own ideas of how women might have a range of feelings about sex with strangers. And then that other dude piped in that his mom was a whore, and another dude changed his mind real quick about which women are supposed to have sex with strangers, which was really elucidating.
 
greycolumbus said:
Many comment how the implied correlation between what he did and the blatant misogyny Watson has recently talked about is at best a bit off-kelter and at worst opportunistic.
I reeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaalllllly think you're being disingenuous by portraying the backlash against Watson as being restricted to that. Watch the first ten minutes of this speech where she reads some of the e-mails she's gotten. True, I don't know precisely whether those e-mails were sent in response to her YouTube or in response to something she said after that. I also don't give a shit, because it doesn't matter.

Watson's point fell flat right after her initial "dont do that" comment, when the implication and the intent of her anecdote became clear. What Dawkins did wasn't out of line at all, especially for him, though I honestly would have preferred he stayed out of the issue.
Saying that women in the West shouldn't complain about any sexism they experience because their clits aren't being cut off isn't out of line? I beg to differ. Dawkins hasn't been burned stoned to death as an infidel, therefore he shouldn't complain about Rick Perry, right? I don't know what you mean by "especially for him"; disingenuous and straw man points don't suddenly become not those things just because Richard Dawkins is making them.

However, he clearly felt he needed to address the misdirection Watson's rant caused in the online skeptic community's dialogue. I'm not particularly a fan of Dawkins' blunt approach to matters, but I much prefer his honest diatribe to Watson's opportunistic and reductionist sort.
The double standard here is mind-boggling. First off, I'm boggled as to, as you admit, a two-minute digression in the middle of an otherwise benign 8-minute vlog that she clearly didn't even think would erupt as it did could possibly be "opportunistic." Precisely what zeitgiest or phenomenon or anything was she cunningly planning to exploit with that cleverly constructed message, and to what end? Yes, she used it as an anecdote to make a larger point, because it was salient and relevant to the point. Is it the most misogynistic act ever committed by man? Of course not. But Dawkins argues Watson should stop her bitching because it isn't, and Watson is the reductionist one?

Second, you vindicate Watson's behavior as being motivated by the effect it "caused in the online skeptic community," as if--and I admit I'm not terribly familiar with that community--that justifies what he wrote. I don't understand why an online community is somehow a worthy end that justifies the means, but putting that aside: Whose fault is it that it blew up? Hers, or the hundreds/thousands? of bloggers, youtubers, twitterrrs, emailers who decided to act like she had asked them cut their balls off?

As things stand however, its an occurrence of irony and should have never been used as a serious point of contention. I perhaps would be much more lenient on her if this whole thing wasn't brought up during the SGU podcast. Sorry, it was simply not the time or place for such matters.
Since I haven't heard the podcast I don't know exactly what you're referring to, but unless the podcast was recorded in Saudi Arabia I have a hard time understanding the point that with her on as a guest there was any matter for which it was not the "time or place." They had her on, presumably to talk about whatever the fuck she wanted to talk about.

And of course, if a few minutes on a podcast are not the time or place, nor a personal YouTube blog, I'm very curious to know what you think the proper time and place is for a women to express aggrievement at feeling unwillingly sexually objectified. Can't have such complaints expressed where it isn't proper.
 
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