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Desperate Half-Life fans mail crowbars to Valve, write essays on Hitler

Robot Pants said:
http://www.essaygenerator.com/
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Man, this site is great.

An essay on your mom
Think back to the first time you ever heard of your mom. In depth analysis of your mom can be an enriching experience. Indispensable to homosapians today, several of todays most brilliant minds seem incapable of recognising its increasing relevance to understanding future generations. It is an unfortunate consequence of our civilizations history that your mom is rarely given rational consideration by those most reliant on technology, who are yet to grow accustomed to its disombobulating nature. Complex though it is I shall now attempt to provide an exaustive report on your mom and its numerous 'industries'.

Social Factors

Interweaving social trends form a strong net in which we are all trapped. Upon Peter Pinkleton-PishPosh's return to Britain he remarked 'class will refelect the inner hero' [1], he borrowed much from your mom. More a melody to societies dysfunctions than a parody of the self, your mom is crunchy on the outside but soft in the middle.

Nothing represents every day life better than your mom, and I mean nothing. If society has a favourite child, it is your mom.

Economic Factors

Economics has been defined as 'I'll scratch your back if you scratch mine.' To my learned ear that sounds like two people with itchy backs. We shall examine the Watkis-Teeth-Pulling model. For those of you unfamiliar with this model it is derived from the Three-Amigos model but with greater emphasis on the outlying gross national product.
Market
Value
Of
Gold


your mom

Clearly the graphs demonstrates a strong correlation. Why is this? In spite of the best efforts of The World Bank the market value of gold looms over your mom this cannot be a coincidence. Many analysts fear a subsequent depression.

Political Factors

Politics was once a game featuring competitors from elite classes. Comparing your mom and much of what has been written of it can be like comparing the two, equally popular approaches to your mom. If the reader is unaware of these, they need only to turn on the television, or pick up a newspaper or popular magazine.

Take a moment to consider the words of that most brilliant mind Noah Woodpecker 'political change changes politics, but where does it go?' [2] I argue that his insight into your mom provided the inspiration for these great words. Both spectacular failure and unequaled political accomplishment may be accredited to your mom.

I hope, for our sake that your mom will endure.
Conclusion

To conclude your mom deserves all of the attention it gets. It establishes order, 'literally' plants seeds for harvest, and most importantly it perseveres.

Here with the final word is Hollywood's Mariah Paltrow: 'You win some, you loose some, but your mom wins most often.' [3]
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I know, it's immature. Chuckled a bit when I read it, though
 
Haunted said:
original.jpg
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Gordon. Gordon!

Gordon? What are you doing?


*EEEAAAAAAAAAAAGLEEEEEE*
 
Rapstah said:
Canonically nuked, so no way. Not that they wouldn't all have radiation sickness by now anyway because of Route Canal, but the place would be pretty broken because of the whole, you know, nuke, army, aliens and portal storms thing.
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well.............fuck
 
Baron_Calamity said:
I feel Valve itself has lost interest in Half Life and will never revisit it themselves. Maybe they will let some third party develop a new HL game.
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The thing is episode 3 will not come out and be mediocre. Visually or gameplay wise it just can't. It would cause a deadly rift that would most likely cause a second ice age, killing all humans and life as we know it.

They are very clearly waiting to develop the source engine further and further so that it will be mind blowing when Half Life Ep 3 is shown. It would not be smart to release now if they are thinking about a console release because the tech is too old. It will be a "next gen" game. The only problem is that Valve will make sure that it can be played on as many computers as possible, though with scaling, it may be possible to create a game that rivals Witcher 2 graphics, but that can be scaled low enough if people need it to be. I can't wait.
 
Oh my god. I want to laugh and cry.

Asshole. He's a brilliant, brilliant asshole.

So has Half-Life 3 been confirmed now? Yes? Maybe? It could be!
 
Even if it is real, it doesn't mean HL3 is real.

Wonder if they will do another setting jump like they did in HL2? Maybe Gorden will wake up in a Hawaiian paradise.
 
I e-mailed Chet asking if that little piece of artistry is the result of holidaying Valve employees having a bit of fun or just a cruel joke by somebody else. I'll bump this thread if I get a reply.
 
Doesn't Valve take company-wide holiday when they are done with a game? HL3 stealth release this year confirmed.
 
Foliorum Viridum said:
I don't understand this mentality. You really think Valve haven't been working on another HL game, even if not full time, since Ep 2?

Madness.

Nearly as crazy as some of the people in this thread :P
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Since EP2 they have been working on 2 left for dead games, Portal 2, DOTA2, CS:GO, and a bazillion updates to steam and TF2. They don't have a huge number of employees (250, which is fairly small these days) and it isn't like they haven't been busy.
 
Saty said:
Doesn't Valve take company-wide holiday when they are done with a game? HL3 stealth release this year confirmed.
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There's an annual company holiday. At GDC, Erik or Chet mentioned that another experimental period (production pipeline is shut down and people work on whatever they like) was around the corner, so if anything I'd say that'll begin when they get back.
 
Baron_Calamity said:
Since EP2 they have been working on 2 left for dead games, Portal 2, DOTA2, CS:GO, and a bazillion updates to steam and TF2. They don't have a huge number of employees (250, which is fairly small these days) and it isn't like they haven't been busy.
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They've been busy boys, for sure, but in the last 5 years I can't imagine a lot of work still hasn't gone in to the next HL game. That would be incomprehensible to me.
 
Foliorum Viridum said:
They've been busy boys, for sure, but in the last 5 years I can't imagine a lot of work still hasn't gone in to the next HL game. That would be incomprehensible to me.
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Maybe the development of Half-Life 3 has progressed much like that of Half-Life 2:

Robin Walker and Erik Johnson via Develop said:
RW: I think the thing is, Half-Life 2 didn’t really take us five years. It took us two and a half years, and another two and a half not really knowing what the hell we were doing.

EJ: We were dumb then.
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:p
 
It's kind of mind blowing they made something as perfect as HL2 in two and a half years, but then the dev time of Ep 2 was even less than that...

Valve are such Gods. <3
 
Baron_Calamity said:
They could have, I'm just saying it wouldn't surprise me if they didn't start it till now.
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Start coding or start creating? There's a chance that they haven't been writing actual code until now but I refuse to believe that planning, story and things like level and art design hasn't been going on.
 
Foliorum Viridum said:
It's kind of mind blowing they made something as perfect as HL2 in two and a half years, but then the dev time of Ep 2 was even less than that...

Valve are such Gods. <3
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Seeing as they've been developing HL3 for twice as long now maybe they can finally add interesting gunplay and combat to the Half-Life formula. I enjoyed HL2 and its episodes for the platforming, exploration and storytelling, but god the combat sucked.
 
yeah, they should add ironsights and first-person cover system. Also sliding moves.
 
Petrichor said:
Or maybe enemies with behaviours other than "run at the player shooting"?
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The Hunters are fun to fight, although I've always found it weird that the Combine have worse AI than the marines of Half-Life. IIRC, they're capable of interacting with physics-enabled and static game world objects, but because they're so easy to kill this seldom ever happens.
 
Petrichor said:
Seeing as they've been developing HL3 for twice as long now maybe they can finally add interesting gunplay and combat to the Half-Life formula. I enjoyed HL2 and its episodes for the platforming, exploration and storytelling, but god the combat sucked.
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Saying it sucked is hyperbole, I think. It's not the best gunplay, but it's decent enough.
 
JaseC said:
The Hunters are fun to fight, although I've always found it weird that the Combine have worse AI than the marines of Half-Life. IIRC, they're capable of interacting with physics-enabled and static game world objects, but because they're so easy to kill this seldom ever happens.
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Half Life 2 games should always be played on hard IMO. The combine are far too easy on anything else.
 
I assume you guys have already seen this?

Gray Horsfield (WETA, Valve) recently left Valve, and has caused a stir with his showreel. It showed content from a seemingly Valve related space game (Valve has talked about doing one for awhile, and we've seen concept art), as well as dynamic swarm technology shown active within Source.

Horsfield said it wasn't related to Episode 3 after people caught on, and now his videos have been set to private. Naturally they've been ripped and uploaded by others.

Click here to see the swarm technology demo'd in Source.
 
EatChildren said:
I assume you guys have already seen this?

Gray Horsfield (WETA, Valve) recently left Valve, and has caused a stir with his showreel. It showed content from a seemingly Valve related space game (Valve has talked about doing one for awhile, and we've seen concept art), as well as dynamic swarm technology shown active within Source.

Horsfield said it wasn't related to Episode 3 after people caught on, and now his videos have been set to private. Naturally they've been ripped and uploaded by others.

Click here to see the swarm technology demo'd in Source.
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Yeah, clearly nothing to do with Half-Life at all.
Shame about grandma.
 
EatChildren said:
I assume you guys have already seen this?

Gray Horsfield (WETA, Valve) recently left Valve, and has caused a stir with his showreel. It showed content from a seemingly Valve related space game (Valve has talked about doing one for awhile, and we've seen concept art), as well as dynamic swarm technology shown active within Source.

Horsfield said it wasn't related to Episode 3 after people caught on, and now his videos have been set to private. Naturally they've been ripped and uploaded by others.

Click here to see the swarm technology demo'd in Source.
Click to expand...

As pointed out elsewhere, the showreel had been public since January. I think it's more likely he made the video private due to people using it to fake Episode Three news (namely 4chan users). Of course, there are other theories floating around, such as the level used to demonstrate the swarm technology being that of an improved Citadel interior.
 
JaseC said:
As pointed out elsewhere, the showreel had been public since January. I think it's more likely he made the video private due to people using it to fake Episode Three news (namely 4chan users). Of course, there are other theories floating around, such as the level used to demonstrate the swarm technology being that of an improved Citadel interior.
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Ooo, didn't know that. Could be anything really, dug up from Valve's bin of scrapped content. Though it's nice to dream 2012 will be the year of Half-Life 3.
 
EatChildren said:
Ooo, didn't know that. Could be anything really, dug up from Valve's bin of scrapped content. Though it's nice to dream 2012 will be the year of Half-Life 3.
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And it was nice to dream 2011 would be.

And 2010...

And 2009...

See, now I'm sad. :(
 
subversus said:
fixed
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Oh you cynics and your cynicism! :p

Krev said:
Even if they unveil at E3, I'd bet against 2012 being 'the year of Half-Life 3'.
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Gabe's been rather vocal about wanting to avoid another Half-Life 2 insofar that a release date is far removed from the game announcement date, and this is something they've attempted to adhere to: if you recall, Left 4 Dead 2 was announced at E3 2009 and released that November, and Portal 2 -- unveiled in April 2010 -- was initially supposed to release in Q4. If When Half-Life 3 is announced at E3, I expect a Q4 release date to be attached, though deep down I'll be emotionally prepared for a delay into early 2013.
 
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