Okay, there's a lot here. A few things...
sage advice
-I don't think she's your friend at all. For one, all of the interactions you mentioned involved you attempting to do something sexually or relationship-y, but failing because of your own uncertainty.
"It's not as though I don't like you, I'm just scared I might lose you as a friend."
I've also been told I'm probably more in love with the idea of Cayla, rather than actually really, really liking Cayla. Initial senses say no, but I'm starting to give that idea legitimate thought.
I'm not a big believer of the friendzone in the first place, but if there is a friendzone then the OP intentionally stuck himself there while the girl happily watched.
Single men can't be friends with single women unless they are quite unattractive. If a guy says that he is lying. One of the people wants to fuck the other.
After we end the embrace she smiles and says "I hope you know I'm so angry with you right now I want to kick you in the nuts."
Another thing I want to address is friendzone: If I like a girl, and she says she only wants to be friends, I tend to think of that as "hey, we can still be friends, that's not so bad". This girl has been the only exception to fuck with my head this much. Every other time this has happened (which is far more than I care to admit), has had next to no problems.
That's not true. I've done it often, even with unattractive girls. But single men and single women who talk about possibly dating and/or entering into a sexual relationship at some unspecified point in the future can't have a healthy friendship, or probably any real friendship at all.
When you are friends with a girl only because you want to get in her pants, you earn your misery.
We meet up at a diner for brunch last Sunday. She can't stay long, but that's okay. We make small talk for half an hour, all about Game of Thrones, Walking Dead, all that fun stuff. Then she finally asks "what's on your mind?" I tell her that over the past couple of months, I've realized my feelings for her have only grown stronger. I can't keep my promise anymore that I won't wait for her, and that's not fair to her or me, so I say I need to take a hiatus of friendship to sort myself out. She looks at her food, and just says "Oh...". Responds to a few texts with the guy she's casually seeing. Asks if I'm okay with getting that off my chest, I say no, of course not. I ask her in turn what she wanted to talk to me about. She says the point is moot now, but that my gestures and things I've said were making her uncomfortable, like I was trying to force something to happen, and that she wanted me to stop. I just looked back to my own food. She then starts laughing to herself, and I ask her what's funny. She says, "Oh, it's just that we'll never be friends again. We're never going to talk or see each other again. It's happened before." I say that's not going to be the case, but she doesn't believe me. At one point I see her shake a little out of the corner of my eye; out of rage or about to cry, I have no idea. I pay the bill as we leave, saying I don't want her half of the money. She doesn't argue. We go to the subway, and as we're about to take two different directions, we stand there. I'm trying to think of something to say to end the awkward silence, but nothing comes to mind. She turns to me and says "Fuck it, come here." We have one last hug. After we end the embrace she smiles and says "I hope you know I'm so angry with you right now I want to kick you in the nuts." I give a sad smile and tell her no more so than I. We go our separate ways.
Friendzone absolutely exists. Unfortunately, a lot of Beta Males on GAF find themselves being stuck in it for various (unnecessary) reasons and lengths of time.
Also OP, please delete her number and off your Facebook. You can't hope to move on constantly creeping her page.
Be creepy and entitled brehs, watch it blow up in your face.
First she says that your actions are making her uncomfortable and then says you two will never be friends and at the same time as if to boast says that it's happened before. Whatever the case, cease being her friend. It's not helping either of you.She says the point is moot now, but that my gestures and things I've said were making her uncomfortable, like I was trying to force something to happen, and that she wanted me to stop. I just looked back to my own food. She then starts laughing to herself, and I ask her what's funny. She says, "Oh, it's just that we'll never be friends again. We're never going to talk or see each other again. It's happened before."
Lol...okay this got to me. Most weirdest parting words ever.She turns to me and says "Fuck it, come here." We have one last hug. After we end the embrace she smiles and says "I hope you know I'm so angry with you right now I want to kick you in the nuts." I give a sad smile and tell her no more so than I. We go our separate ways.
Did she ever reply to that text? Although it doesn't really matter now.he suggests I send a single text detailing that this will not be the end of our friendship. I do so, telling her that this is so that we don't have to keep revisiting this issue every damn time, so we can both get on with our lives
Don't unfriend her right now. However, unfollow her. Add her to the "hide from these users" chat list. So essentially you've unfriended her without unfriending her. This way when you actually do unfriend her after X amount of months you won't have a rubberband effect of adding her back.She hasn't deleted me off either, and I don't intend to do the same. That would only make her feel like we really weren't going to be friends again.
I'd say delete her from phone, but not facebook. Just don't talk to her.
If OP is serious about wanting to sort his shit out, he shouldn't burn the bridges. She was a giant tease though, and if he decides he wants to go back to her as a friend, he needs to lay some boundaries for both of their sake.
However, if after taking some time to reflect on things he doesn't feel he will get over her then by all means, burn all bridges. It will be the only option left.
Find out who you are before you begin your search for that special someone.
The dude had to go to counseling after being friendzoned and you're advocating not deleting her entirely from his life...
Damn, he almost had her at some points. That's what makes this situation a tad bit strange and humorous, no offense to you OP - I've been there.
Nah.
She just let him think he almost had her lmfao.
Sitting on his lap and straddling him in bed when she knows he's in love with her was Ice cold....
Wait, he did? I must've missed that part. If she's affected him that much then I take back what I said -- delete her from facebook. Then he should go make his own life, as apart from her as he can.
Lol...okay this got to me. Most weirdest parting words ever.
Did she ever reply to that text? Although it doesn't really matter now.
Don't unfriend her right now. However, unfollow her. Add her to the "hide from these users" chat list. So essentially you've unfriended her without unfriending her. This way when you actually do unfriend her after X amount of months you won't have a rubberband effect of adding her back.
In a nutshell:
She's a poor fit for you. You're a person who wears his heart on his sleeve whereas she is the complete opposite. Find out who you are before you begin your search for that special someone. Good luck man.
I'm currently in one of the best friendships of my life with a girl that I'm head over heels with, but she has a boyfriend. It's the hardest thing in life to do, but ultimately, I'm not going to "fight for her" because I'm not the best guy for her, and she loves this other dude. But I'm not going to ruin my relationship with her just because I have the feels for her.
Sitting on his lap and straddling him in bed when she knows he's in love with her was Ice cold....
Sitting on his lap and straddling him in bed when she knows he's in love with her was Ice cold....
We talked about how to date now would simply be catastrophic, and the implications of "what if" we broke up and effectively separated our friend group (because we are that closeknit; both blessing and curse).
And taking it was bitch soft.
When you are friends with a girl only because you want to get in her pants, you earn your misery.
He did do a lot of this to himself......but let's not pretend that we're not all guilty of letting someone we're crazy about take advantage of us in some way at some point in our lives.
Also, he's only 21. At least it happened now instead of at 30
He did do a lot of this to himself......but let's not pretend that we're not all guilty of letting someone we're crazy about take advantage of us in some way at some point in our lives.
Also, he's only 21. At least it happened now instead of at 30
Nah.
She just let him think he almost had her lmfao.
Uhm, no...not everyone leaves creepy notes on girls car windows either.
Uhm, no...not everyone leaves creepy notes on girls car windows either.