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[Blade2.0]

All those DVDs will come in handy when the wars start. You'll be having to keep the bitches outta your bunker that just want one more fix of the notebook.

 

[teezzy]

All those DVDs will come in handy when the wars start. You'll be having to keep the bitches outta your bunker that just want one more fix of the notebook.

I totally do actually own The Notebook too dude

 

[YCoCg]

There's this weird point when getting older where you feel like you SHOULD be something else, someone better, etc, in the same way that a lot of us when we're younger try and find some pretentious shit to make us seem more "mature" or "cultured" compared to other people. As you said I think a lot of us geeks went through a music or movie phase that we'd try and explain was another level or some shit. It's important to notice what HAS stuck with you over the years though, people change, tastes evolve and we all get to a point where we could feel like we're not where society expects us to be but in the end it doesn't even matter, I TRIED SO HA....NO! But ironically yes. Don't fall into the pitfall of what you think others expect you to be, look at your past, what still resonates with you now, keep that part, find something to replace the things that no longer do. I find physical things to be a fun thing to focus on, electronics, etc, as my job is in broadcast communications, but it meant I got to learn things like how to wire up most things in a home and as a result friends, etc, come to me when they want some crazy idea worked on so that way I get to put my skills to use and hang out with my friends in ways other than the norm.

As for relationships, shit man that's just a randomised roll these days, you certainly don't want to hide who you are though when meeting new possible partners, I'm sure others have already mentioned in the thread but hey, maybe that one metal band t-shirt or weird film is something they were into as well!

 

[teezzy]

Y YCoCg

That's the thing though, I think theres an age where wearing metal shirts and all that looks childish and unbecoming. I'm much more comfy in a plain black Hanes tee. I'm not overly interested in displaying my interests that way any longer.

I think the DVD shelf is a similar deal. Since it puts your "taste" on display like that.

Really though, I'm not trying to change for anyone. Just being myself, but the person I am now is far more palatable than the angsty twenty something I used to be.

Hope that makes sense.

 

[YCoCg]

Y YCoCg

That's the thing though, I think theres an age where wearing metal shirts and all that looks childish and unbecoming. I'm much more comfy in a plain black Hanes tee. I'm not overly interested in displaying my interests that way any longer.

I think the DVD shelf is a similar deal. Since it puts your "taste" on display like that.

Really though, I'm not trying to change for anyone. Just being myself, but the person I am now is far more palatable than the angsty twenty something I used to be.

Hope that makes sense.

Then if that what makes you feel comfortable right now then do that if that's what YOU really want and not just because you THINK it's how you should be. Trust me man, the amount of crew on sets and stuff that I've worked with where most of the technicians are still wearing band t-shirts or obscure horror movie t-shirts, etc, is actually very common and no one gives a shit, it can be a good convo starter or a fun way to joke about something depending on where you work and if it involves moving around locations a lot. But to head back, do what you want, clothing taste is one of the big ones to change and adapt as you grow older, if you feel more suited to a low key look then base your style around that. I wouldn't ditch your old t-shirts though, you could probably pack them away somewhere as sentimental items to look back on.

 

[MiyazakiHatesKojima]

It's really special to settle in and enjoy something that you genuinely find pleasure in. The disconnect you're feeling is normal: when we're younger we are far more likely to follow fads, follow the crowd, go with our friends, etc and let our group dynamics dictate our interests. Part of the trill we feel in participating in these things isn't the thing itself but the sense of belonging.

As we age we (hopefully) become more individualistic, caring less about group approval, discarding old habits and hobbies that no longer suit us. This opens you up to pursuing things that former friend-groups may have ignored or even mocked. This may cause you to discard old habits and hobbies that were your sole connection to certain "friends", who will now have no interest in your new pursuits.

Ok Sage Freke.

 

[teezzy]

 

[SentientStone]

The way I see it you do not need to 'look the part' to like or be "counterculture".
In fact the way I see it all the mainstream divides and visible signs of counterculture is no just part of the mainstream now.
Punk or mainstream is just a label that doesn't mean much. As for me I am a few years behind your current state, but I was never into subscribing to the symbols and fashions of the counterculture, but I love the ideals and continue to listen to lectures and think differently. I find it more kinky when all the "counterculture" is in my mind while I look "normal", though occasionally I spice things up visually in my own way. lol

 

[DonMigs85]

why vote for a crook like Trump tho

 

[nush]

That's the thing though, I think theres an age where wearing metal shirts and all that looks childish and unbecoming. I'm much more comfy in a plain black Hanes tee. I'm not overly interested in displaying my interests that way any longer.

This is a good thing, there are many people that define themselves by the media they consume. Licensed T shirts are the most obvious thing that will make people have assumptions about you.

 

[teezzy]

This is a good thing, there are many people that define themselves by the media they consume. Licensed T shirts are the most obvious thing that will make people have assumptions about you.

I cant think of a single instance where someone in a graphic tee would look better than someone in a plain tee, let alone a simple fitted button up or a flannel, etc

 

[Frito_Pendejo]

You’ll be fine bro. I think I kinda went through the same thing when I turned 29. Backed off of video games a bit, worked out all the time, started putting away the stuff that made me, me. On went the Sperrys and the button ups and I started dating a yuppie chick and then after two years I realized that wasn’t me at all. The relationship I was in was outrageously boring. I was listening to house music. The lifestyle I had created for myself, while fun in some instances, attracted people that I generally couldn’t stand. So that relationship ended when she moved back to Boston after I told her I wasn’t interested in marriage or kids especially with someone who wanted me to wear shit with colors called Nantucket Red. It’s fucking pink for Christ sakes.


After that breakup I was 31 headed towards 32 when I decided to respond to a message on a dating app that I normally wouldn’t have. The chick only had one picture and her profile sucked. The girl in the picture was very cute so I obviously thought it was fake. I replied and told her most people would think her profile was fake due to what I said above but she gave me a good reason why it was like that as she had just made it about 30 minutes prior. Ultimately we struck up a good conversation which led to text messaging which three weeks later led to an actual date. 4 years later she’s my wife and the mother of my child and I’m back to being the guy I was most happiest as. I wear my Redskins (Washington Football Team) shit again and play my video games. I’m back to listening to the bands I love like lagwagon, masked intruder, screeching weasel etc. My wife is cool as fuck and loves me for the way I am and not something I was trying to be.

I guess what I’m trying to say is it will all work out dude. You’ll grow out of some things and you’ll move on from people you thought were integral parts of your life but ultimately you’ll find that happy medium that allows you to be you. Plus you’ve got the knuckleheads here at Gaf to help you along the way.

 

[GloveSlap]

As long as the big box Buffy season DVDs form a centerpiece on your dining room table....how you store the rest is of no concern.

 

[Cycom]

My 2 cents, for whatever it’s worth:

I basically dropped all my friends/acquaintances of my teens/early 20’s as I neared my third decade alive. Like you, too much partying, and having only myself to blame, too much irresponsibility. I met my now wife during this period. Now I’m 40, 4 kids, house, and much more stress and responsibilities but I wouldn’t trade it for anything. I feel more confident and wise now than I did 10 years ago. You’ll be just fine, homie.

 

[slugbahr]

You used to be cool man
You've changed bro

Legiterally.

 

[Pejo]

It kind of seems like you're trying to sacrifice who you were or are to attain some semblance of what you consider "desired normalcy" brother. On some level, I empathize greatly, but I don't really empathize with changing yourself so radically simply because you're getting older and wish to meet a good woman. I'm not picking on you brethren, but I kind of agree with your friend. Settling down with a good woman isn't something that's going to happen, or at least stay healthy long term, if you're trying to be something that you think she wants, rather than something you want to be.

For what it's worth, I think you're mostly on point, just some of your points seemed so opposite of me that it's hard to relate to. I'm 33 and have been married for over ten years and have a nine year old; I'm a veteran, I love lifting weights, and I'm a full blown unapologetic metalhead with so many raggedy ass metal shirts that have survived so many pits, and I'll probably wear those shirts till I stop breathing. I can promise you that I wouldn't have ever managed to attract my wife if I had actually tried to be what she wanted me to be, as that's ultimately impossible. I just tried to be a good man, one that I'd respect, and I strived to better myself without ultimately replacing my identity, and she eventually just....kidnapped me in a way lol. I'll never forget the text she sent me, as I was with my first wife at the time. "You haven't realized it yet, but we're perfect for each other, and we're ultimately going to be together after I break up with (her ex), and you divorce (my ex wife). It was so brazen and unexpected, especially as I was in the middle of a divorce, but I knew she was right.

Sorry to tell you something so intimate and personal, but there is a point here brother. I never tried to be that for her....I just inadvertently became that. I think if I would have tried, I would have somehow messed it up ya know? Love is organic man, it's.....it sounds corny brother, but it's a beautiful accident. It's a beautiful accident that you have to work hard to maintain when it happens, and you have to nurture it, but it has to be born out of honesty; honesty with her sure, but ultimately honesty with yourself above all.

I'm not saying you're wrong brother. We change as we age, and I've certainly changed a lot. That being said, as you get older and you change, make sure you're changing for you, and not for the world around you. The world will never bother to thank you or notice you, but if you wake up every day with the strength and conviction to know yourself, and to love yourself, then the world will be filled with those who wish to stand with you. Remember, though, that when you love who you are and who you are becoming, be sure to love and respect who you were as well, as that guy is who brought you all the way here. He made the arduous journey for you, he was up to the task, he made the hard decisions, and he had the strength to see it all through. It's ok to empathize with him less as you age and change, but never forget him, and always remember that who you are now, is just a result of how he has toiled and sweat to see you come to fruition.

In summary: You're great and you're only gonna get better, but that's because the good in you aspired towards greatness, and a younger you, with all his flaws and foolhardy rebelliousness, his hard partying, his Deftones and Buffy love, his affinity for "art films" and silly comedies, had the fortitude to realize your aspirations.....so don't forget that guy, cuz it turns out he actually kicked ass

Great post, and I want you to know I read the whole thing in this voice:

OP, I had similar feelings to you for a while, but ultimately you gotta be yourself or else you're either going to regret it or take it out on someone close to you. Being trapped as who you're "supposed" to be sucks. That said, if you genuinely feel that these changes are how you feel, go with it.

Don't you dare give up on metal though.

 

[Stiflers Mom]

teezzy :
I was exactly at the same point in life that you are in now when I was nearing my 30th birthday.
Had a few years of crazy life behind me, and wanted to kind of settle down. Wife, kids, house, etc.
I guess that's just normal.

On your DVD collection, I wouldn't really worry so much about this kind of stuff. Unless it's some really creep shit like Human Centipede or a weirdo anime loser tit figure weeb collection, it will be okay, or even be beneficial, because you will have some discussion material. She may have seen some of those movies and might have an opinion. Which is good.

I know it sounds corny, but In the end, just really really listen to yourself who you want to be and how you feel about yourself if you'd be that person. Sometimes what you want is not necessarily what you would be happy with.

Be really really honest with yourself there.

 

[Sleepwalker]

Being normal is the new counter culture, because all of the "alt" stuff is now mainstream. Your rebel nature did not change, it shifted focus.


I still love my metal bands and the whole musical aspect, but when "anarchy" is pretty much the norm, you can't help but rebel against it by being normal.

 

[Kadayi]

Y YCoCg

That's the thing though, I think theres an age where wearing metal shirts and all that looks childish and unbecoming. I'm much more comfy in a plain black Hanes tee. I'm not overly interested in displaying my interests that way any longer.

I think the DVD shelf is a similar deal. Since it puts your "taste" on display like that.

Really though, I'm not trying to change for anyone. Just being myself, but the person I am now is far more palatable than the angsty twenty something I used to be.

Hope that makes sense.

Taking a bit of a leaf from Marie Kondo (she talks about whether something brings you Joy) I'd say get all your DVDs together and 2 boxes, ones for keepers and one for the Charity shop, and just go through your collection and be honest with yourself as to whether you're ever likely to rewatch this or that film, and whether you ever envisage having the time to (life gets busy). I purged my film collection (which was substantive) by about 90% doing that. Just take a photo of the stuff you're getting rid of.

If that seems a bit daunting in one fell swoop, set up a 7 - 14 day declutter challenge with a friend (I've done it a couple of times on the Book of Faces) basically you get a box and day 1 you put one item in and document it with a post and say a little something about it, Day 2 two items, Day 3 Three items etc... It's surprisingly enjoyable once you get into the full swing of it.

 

[teezzy]

It’s totally okay to have a DVD collection. Extend yourself into more proactive pursuits too though. Pick up a sport or activity (BJJ, rock climbing, etc.), learn a musical instrument, learn how to build things, get strong, add depth to your perspective with challenging books. Just some suggestions. Passive consumption of entertainment is cool for the end of the day when you want to kick back on the way to sleep, but you can usually fit in a lot more productivity if you push yourself a little. You’ll find cooler friends that way, and women perk up when they see dynamic men.

I think I botched my own thread lol. It's not so much an insecurity about my DVD collection as it is a self-realization that a lot of the stuff that used to be so important to me just doesn't matter anymore, in some cases I even have grown to detest a lot of those interests I used to have. The DVD collection served as a physical manifestation of that, and a jumping point for this thread. People are getting hung up on the relationship aspect of this. Thanks though, EL. Your take on things holds a fair amount of weight with me. Cheers.

 

[eddie4]

I'm in my late 30s, married. I still wear my band shirts (yes, metal) and don't conform to the 'oh you're older now, you have to dress like a dick.' First marriage was pretty much like 'don't put that there, what will the guests think, this is stupid, its a toy", etc. etc. That ended pretty quick. Current marriage is pretty much, where do we put this Gollum figurine, do we want to do this here next to the PS4, etc. I realized that doing shit for other people makes you miserable. Right now, we both agree on everything, and it makes it a much more enjoyable marriage when you don't care what other people think. Don't get me wrong, we still watch what we eat, take care of ourselves. We're not slobs, we just don't care what other people think. Don't forcefully try to change yourself, but if it comes naturally, go for it. I would say keep the things that you invested your money into, even if it is that $2 DVD, one day you'll want to watch it, or you might change and wish that you have kept it. When you say there's a desire to be 'normal.' There is no normal, everyone is crazy in one way or another, and there's no 'socially acceptable' because there's so many levels of 'acceptable' when it comes to society.

 

[SLoWMoTIoN]

30 is nothing. Half of the people here are old as shit, have 40 kids and jaded Europeepes. WE 30s CHADS are better and you shouldn't feel bad about having a Iron Maiden shirt (1).

ABOUT YOUR DVD COLLECTION

if you want to put em away and rip em/put em on your FLEX server you might as well do that wtf are you doing son smh.

 

[Blade2.0]

I totally do actually own The Notebook too dude

I'm smarter than you all realize.

 

[TrainedRage]

Miami Vice Box Set has been delayed in transit.

 

[ProgenitorCastle]

I feel you OP. Sometimes especially recently I feel like being "normal" and not "weird" like how I think I am. Thanks for making this thread. It shows I'm not alone feeling this way sometimes.

 

[JSoup]

I get the impulse of "do more adult", but you can't let that get in the way of the stuff you like. Sure, take stock, maybe change a few things, add a couple other thing, adjustment and change are a part of life. But this isn't something you should be tying yourself up in knots about. Live your life, enjoy what you enjoy, seek new things to learn and enjoy.

 

[teezzy]

I got my Polish Coat of Arms tattoo today. The one I wanted to get in dedication to my mom (Polish immigrant) after her passing. Did a walk-in at a shop I'd never been to prior. I figured I'd mix things up.

Inside the shop were two tattoo artists, early twenties, both cute cyber goth industrial looking chicks. Types of girls who used to drive me wild. One had the bridge of her nose pierced, shorter black hair with a red streak in it, and the most elaborate eye makeup I'd ever seen. The other looked sorta malnourished and had bright blue hair. She also had her fair share of piercings. They both had those goth industrial boots I used to see girls wear at industrial shows that looks hella uncomfortable. The blue haired girl's were pink and she paired them with pink fishnets.

You know the type...

I got the chick with the red hair to print out my reference photo, paid her the price we'd agreed upon, and we were well on our way. We chatted about Junji Ito and horror movies some, after I'd recognized his artwork from a few of her tattoos she had, and some framed work of his she had on her walls. We made further small talk about Covid and the further shutdown from Governor Whitmer, etc, then I noticed... she had hairy armpits. Still a cool chick, still cute, but ew like wtf dude. What is this?! Ingmar Bergman's Summer With Monika?

After the tattoo was finished, I was ready to take off to Walgreen's to get my after treatment usuals. I was so pleased with her work that I requested a business card for future reference. I have the business cards of my other tattoo artists. Figured I'd get hers too. She gave me her Instagram, as she apparently didn't have business cards. I don't have an IG, but I still took a peek out of curiosity tonight while taking a dump mid-Rocky 2 DVD viewing.

I checked it out. Yup, she's a They/Them and her 'boyfriend' ??? or whatever is hella feminine and likely also gender fluid. Dude looks like Jeffree Star straight up lmao

Point of the story and TL;DR...

I couldn't imagine being 30+ years old and being 'punk' or 'goth'. How silly, I care too much about my lawn and keeping my taxes low. I'm corporate bad guy for a major automobile company for a living ffs. I am the system.

While I may have gotten older and more conservative overall, I also think what used to be cool and cutting edge to me has now gone like way off the deep end so the gap is huge.

It's funny, really. Ultimately, poodaddy was right. I can appreciate who I am now, but still honor who I used to be without being ashamed of it. Even at my most 'alternative'... I was never that.

 

[poodaddy]

Hell yeah brother. We were never like these fuckin nuts man. We weren't riding any trendy waves bro, we were just angry teenagers who were figuring out who we were. These fuckers today? They're different. I know every gen says that, and hell they're right, but this new generation's going to feel so much more ashamed of what they are right now when they're older than we do of our youth. All we have to be "embarrassed" about is that maybe we were a bunch of edgelords, big whoop. This fuckers today? When they grow up, they'll get to recount to their kids how they "identified" as "gender fluid", (literally what in the fuck does that even mean), for a period of years, and their kids are going to be either fucking ashamed of them or, worse, encouraged to adopt similar misguided beliefs due to their already palpable teenage confusion being amplified by the knowledge of their parents' tenuous grasp of reality. We're the last generation of boys who became men and girls who became women, and found pride in this transformation. There's something to be said for that. We have to do what we can to teach rational thought and logic to our children, lest this be the last generation of people who understand that we must grow and adapt to the conditions that the world imposes on us, rather than this insanely dangerous belief that this current woke culture imbues the youth with now: that the world can and should bend to our whims and adapt to our views as we see fit. This new generation is losing the ability to deal with reality, because their minds have accepted fantasy as fact.

We're gonna be ok man, but I hope our kids will be too ya know? We have to prepare them for this madness out here, and we have to stand our ground against the insanity. Great post as always brother.


EDIT.S....bro that goth girl pic looks so much like my ex wife it's giving me horrible flashbacks lol.

 

[teezzy]

poodaddy

Yeah man that was a big part of it. Like the girl inking me up was just wearing a black tank and some jeans and boots. Might even have been some Docs with added straps or something. She seemed sane enough

This other girl though was way out there. All I could think about was how much she was gonna regret that later on in life. Live in the moment I guess, but fuck lol

 

[German Hops]

Good luck, man.

 

[BigDeadFreak]

Welcome to the adult world my friend. I went through a very similar thing in my late 20s. I'd already given up drugs by then but I finally stopped smoking, started eating healthily, cut down on drinking and started exercising (mainly judo and weightlifting). I also sold off my CRT tv and all my almost all my retro games.

I just turned 40 last year and I'm honestly fitter and stringer than I've ever been. I got married but sadly my wife can't have kids so we've started fostering. Interestingly, I also found my self becoming more right wing and increasingly have no time for whining, self pitying lefties. I find it far more satisfying to take care of myself and the people I love rather than endlessly complaining about how unfair things are whilst living a looser lifestyle.

If you're looking for guidance on this phase in your life then I recommend watching some of Jordan Peterson's lectures. He helped clarify why my life choices had either succeeded or failed. There's a couple of links below.

Overall I'd say you've made a big, positive step on an important stage in your life. Good luck with everything, you'll be a stronger person if you carry on down this path.

 

[FreedomOfSpeech]

fresh pedicures

Yes... yess....

 

[Goro Majima]

That's the thing though, I think theres an age where wearing metal shirts and all that looks childish and unbecoming. I'm much more comfy in a plain black Hanes tee. I'm not overly interested in displaying my interests that way any longer.

I think the DVD shelf is a similar deal. Since it puts your "taste" on display like that.

Really though, I'm not trying to change for anyone. Just being myself, but the person I am now is far more palatable than the angsty twenty something I used to be.

Hope that makes sense.

Somewhat similarly, I got into the habit of taking off my work clothes at the end of the day and just lounging around in a plain white undershirt and underwear or shorts. That eventually became my typical "lounge around the house" or even sometimes go to the store attire. Plain ass white Stafford 2XLT shirts are my life now.

It feels boring sometimes but like you I just don't feel the need to "advertise" my interests anymore. I still have lots of nerd shirts around but I don't wear them that often. If I'm actually going out to eat or to a bar or something then I'm probably wearing some kind of flannel or linen button up with jeans.

 

[Elcid]

I used to collect movies, now they’re all rotting in my garage since everything is digital. Store or get rid of the crap you realistically won’t use ever again and display what you want to use and see. Get rid of the pothead friends, and embrace your 30s with your new outlook on life. You’re looking for a waifu now based off your description of church girls with pedicures. Focus on your career, yourself, and being happy; these things will inevitably land you someone who wants to share in that happiness and extend it.

 

[teezzy]

Yknow BigDeadFreak

I actually have 12 Rules, unread, on my mantle. I was hoping to dive into some fiction next, but you've sparked my curiosity. I'll give it a proper go.


Thank you

 

[Maiden Voyage]

Well, I guess this is growing up.

Spoiler

Welcome to middle age.

 

[Stiflers Mom]

30 is such a weird age.
It's like everything has been a training ride so far, and suddenly life asks you to decide who you wanna be now.

I can only tell you, that, if you don't do some really stupid decisions you will be much more happy and content later on.
You cannot even fathom why you were so angsty about shit that happened earlier in your life, for instance why you were so upset that a girl left you that you felt that nothing makes sense anymore.

Meet her again when she is 45 and you see a lot clearer.
And that's a metaphor for the rest in your life as well... ; )

 

[quickwhips]

teezzy I can relate. Sounds like your on a good path just find a better group to hang with.

 

[Moogle11]

I put all my DVDs and all but a favorite 20 or so Blurays into binders before a move a few years back and recycled the cases etc. Was late 30s at the time, 42 now. Haven’t regretted it in the slightest. Only regret is buying them in the first place as I’m not much into movies anymore and haven’t even unzipped the binders once. Have watched a few of the blurays I kept out and have on a shelf on my bookcase.

Gaming, watching sports and watching tv shows and occasionally a mo ie for the first time with my wife eats up my TV time. I just don’t have much interest in rewatching movies, replaying games etc. like I did in my 20s and early 30s. Would rather watch/play new things, so I stopped buying movies, sell games after I’m done etc. as I was just wasting money and adding clutter otherwise.

The other stuff I can’t help with. I’ve been pretty lucky and had my shit together so no major life changes from mid 20s on. Stared career, got married, bought a house etc. but I always had my shit together and had a good friend group and healthy lifestyle for ages.

 

[sol_bad]

I'm 38 and still wear Marvel and Star Wars t-shirts.
I don't caaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaare.

 

[nyr88nyg]

I’m also in a rut, friend-wise. I’ve never been the type to have many friends, but a few very close friends. Most of those close friends have drifted away, and my best friend moved to florida last year. We still text a lot but it sucks. Most of my coworkers are douchebags, and I have no interest in being friends with them outside of work.

I have a 1 year old daughter and she’s everything to me, but I’m still longing for the friendship feeling.

 

[teezzy]

I'm 38 and still wear Marvel and Star Wars t-shirts.
I don't caaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaare.

More power to you. Really not a look I'm interested in overall. Just know that myself and others are low key judging lol

 

[thefool]

I got mangas, weird movies and all that shit in my room (and I am older than you). If a girl finds that weird, she's probably a cunt you don't want to spend that much time with. It's one thing to be obsessed over it and the room looking like some memorabilia mausoleum, it's another to simply enjoy certain shit. I get more of a let me look at that shit than a eww kind of response.

To be honest, I'm at a point I don't really care what others might think. But evolving, finding new tastes and displaying a certain moderation is always good. I also have a shitload of dvds that I have no idea what the fuck crossed my mind to buy them.

 

[BigDeadFreak]

Yknow BigDeadFreak

I actually have 12 Rules, unread, on my mantle. I was hoping to dive into some fiction next, but you've sparked my curiosity. I'll give it a proper go.


Thank you

No problem. He's really helped a lot of people get their lives in order so hopefully you find it useful.

Let me know how you get on with it.

 

[TalentedMrJ]

Don't get married or have children

Death sentence

 

[Riven326]

This winter, I will be 30 years old. Not until early Februrary, but my 30's are only a few months around the corner either way. A friend recently told me, "Y'know [TeezzyD], you hate everything about yourself that makes you unique." At first, I was taken aback by this. While not entirely true, there was enough truth to his statement that I still remember him saying that over a month or so later, and it makes me wonder. I've even run his assessment by a few others, and they agreed with what he had said.

This week, I've been fixing up my front room: finishing painting, peeling off wallpaper, the whole nine yards. This is also the room where I currently keep my CRT televisions (yes, plural) and my older consoles I never shut up about (PS2, Xbox, Xbox 360). In this room, I also had a couple storage bins full of DVDs I like to watch on my old TVs for old-times sake and decided to buy a proper shelf to store them on instead. I'm trying to make the house looks like a human being lives here, and not y'know... me. Appearance is important. Anywho, I set up the shelf last night and began to add my DVDs to it, and I soon realized that a lot of these movies aren't necessarily something I want on display. Obscure horror titles, borderline pornographic 'art films', etc. There's some good more mainstream fare there also, the Terminators, Aliens, Ben Stiller comedies, Goodfellas, etc; and that tends to be what I watch more anyhow, and I think I might ultimately use this shelf just to put my video games on, and move all this garbage into a spare bedroom. Why on Earth would I want the front room of my house to be some weirdo pervert nest of some dude who clearly never learned to let go of the 2000's? I have a den with a couch and a 46" 1080p screen hooked up to a 5.1 surround systeam and an Xbox One S for more 'normal viewing' anyhow.

This also coincides with a lot of personal changes I've made in my life recently: tossing out a reasonable amount of my clothing, no longer feeling comfortable in my formerly beloved death metal band tees and patched up denim jacket, etc; my desires to pay more attention to sports than I had prior, my newfound sobriety, my constant attention to diet and exercise, voting Republican for the first time ever, even my taste in women has evolved from alt-girls with fresh pedicures to Sunday morning church girls with fresh pedicures. As someone who so heavily grew up on a steady diet of counter-culture, it's weird to see just how much I sorta detest a lot of that stuff now. I can't tell if I want to 'fit in' more, or if I've run out of things to rebel against.

My current friend group are a bunch of pot head nerds. They're the guys who adopted me after I had to leave my much more hard partying 'punk' friends behind once they started really going down a path I couldn't abide by. That was one party in an abandoned Detroit warehouse too many for my tastes. For better or worse, these guys are what I have. They're not the type to sit around watching hockey or football with me, so 'hanging out' with them just seems odd. I feel like I need to look for another clique entirely. Either way, one of them was the dude who told me I hate everything about myself that makes me unique. He's also the guy who is always hammering down how there's no 'normal' for me to be aspiring to. He also has giant shelves of Gundam figurines in his apartment, and ewww. I don't think I'm actively 'aspiring to be normal', but it's feeling pretty natural. I want to change. I'm getting older. It's 2020 and I just bought a giant DVD shelf.

I'm kinda rambling now. I hope I've made some sense here. I need to go buy some yogurt and chicken breast. Ultimately, I'd love to be a family man one day. Wife and two kids and me living in this house. I feel like I'm too stupid to obtain that.

I'm 32. I collect diecast military models. They're cool as shit and no one is going to convince me to give them up.

I petty much stopped caring about being normal or what other people think I should be like. Now I just do whatever I want. Look at it like this, you're only going to be here once and so are all these other sad fuckers. Be the king you want to be. Be anything. Fuck everyone else.

That's my life advice for whatever it's worth. I hear the terms and conditions change if you get married. Keep that in mind, I suppose.

 

[GardenOfAbbylon]

I'm in my late 20's. I've come to realize the past 2 years that even when you don't think it's gonna happen, things change. I had a friend I met at like age 12 who was like a brother to me. Thought i'd have him in my life forever. We both moved to the city, and he changed almost immediately. We still found comfort in our silent hang outs sometimes, but I wanted to grow. I made more friends. I still tried to spend as much time with him as I could, and he turned flakey. Then one day in 2018 he starts texting me and accusing me of replacing him with my new friends and threatened to kill himself almost every day. I explained to him that I didn't replace him, he's just never around. I invite him to stuff and he either no shows, cancels day of, or else just sleeps in my car the whole time. He got to be too toxic for my mental health so I made the active decision to cut him out of my life. I hear he's not doing the best now and needs dialysis twice a week (watch your drinking, people) and i'm concerned, but I refuse to reestablish contact. I know it'll just open a bag of worms again. But 2 years ago, this would have been unfeasible to me that I would be different and not talking to him now.

Sometimes things change for you as a person for the better, sometimes for the worse (obviously). But the best we can do is try to adapt with the changes. One can fight it for a multitude of reasons, and sometimes people will not change certain aspects of themselves out of pure stubborness. But sometimes change is good. We learn things about ourselves and grow.

 

[teezzy]

 

[Alter_Fridge]

You do know what shelving means colloquially yes?

 

[Ragnarok]

Have kids. Suddenly, almost overnight, you won't give a fuck about DVDs or which next-gen system has more FLOPs.