• Hey Guest. Check out your NeoGAF Wrapped 2025 results here!

First reviews for Disney's THE LONE RANGER.

Status
Not open for further replies.
Iron Man 3 was pretty good and...that was it. Mainstream movies this summer have been hot assholes. Man of Steel was a joyless actionfest, Mon. Uni was bland as hell by Pixar standards, WWZ was just aight, Star Trek Into Darkness was weak, After Earth was boring as fuck, now Lone Ranger looks way too long and unfunny.

I swear, if Pacific Rim is disappointing, I'm just gonna write this whole summer season off

edit: This is the End was funny, haven't seen Fast 6/7 or whatever number we up to now
 
So is it confirmed they removed all the supernatural elements out of this? As much as I'm a fan of Armie Hammer and think he could do a great job in the role, the supernatural prospects were the only aspect keeping me interested. Plus I'm so sick and tired of Depp and Co. after they held an early premier in my town a couple weeks ago. So many people hospitalized due to heat just to see Depp.
 
Iron Man 3 was pretty good and...that was it. Mainstream movies this summer have been hot assholes. Man of Steel was a joyless actionfest, Mon. Uni was bland as hell by Pixar standards, WWZ was just aight, Star Trek Into Darkness was weak, After Earth was boring as fuck, now Lone Ranger looks way too long and unfunny.

I swear, if Pacific Rim is disappointing, I'm just gonna write this whole summer season off

edit: This is the End was funny, haven't seen Fast 6/7 or whatever number we up to now

Pacific Rim and Elysium. Believe!
 
TBH, I'll probably go and see this just because it's set in the Old West, and I love that time period :lol

Also, I get to see films for free.
 
Pacific Rim will probably disappoint. If the reviews are just saying that the battles are good...what's the point since Superman has outbattled everything that we can possibly see, that climax was like buildings on top of buildings just collapsing everywhere. I'm explosion'd out

Iron Man 3, This is The End and Fast and Furious. They were all fun.

I have hope for Elysium though.

edit: changed wording to make it less inflammatory haha
 
Disney needs to institute a hard two-hour cap on these high-budget (non-Marvel) summer films.

There is no excuse for a mindless popcorn film to have a two-and-a-half-hour running time. It's bonkers.
 
Iron Man 3 was the most disappointing film of the summer. Such an awful piece of shit in just about every regard. Even Star Trek Into Darkness had its moments -- despite being pretty bad itself. It wasn't until Fast 6 came out that a decent summer film hit.
 
Iron Man 3 did something i thought unthinkable...it gave me hope for future marvel films. if they were willing to let shane black do all that crazy shit with their prized pet then i'm confident that the leash is loosening.

DC is kinda dead after batman. man of steel had some cool moments, but they really need to drop goyer.
 
Pacific Rim will probably disappoint. If the reviews are just saying that the battles are good...what's the point since Superman has outbattled everything that we can possibly see, that climax was like buildings on top of buildings just collapsing everywhere. I'm explosion'd out

Iron Man 3, This is The End and Fast and Furious. They were all fun.

I have hope for Elysium though.

edit: changed wording to make it less inflammatory haha

All keep saying this and how it will be topped for the sequel but I have to say I wanted more, I wanted more destruction, I wanted the fight to be on several cities and and for them to throw cars, boats and all kinds of shit at eachother, if anything it should have been more explosions and destruction for maybe 15 more minutes of pure raw fighting.

Maybe thats just me.
 
All keep saying this and how it will be topped for the sequel but I have to say I wanted more, I wanted more destruction, I wanted the fight to be on several cities and and for them to throw cars, boats and all kinds of shit at eachother, if anything it should have been more explosions and destruction for maybe 15 more minutes of pure raw fighting.

Maybe thats just me.

if they go with doomsday for the sequel i'm just gonna skip watching it in theaters. would be cooler to see lex luthor and brainiac. also we're gonna need A LOT of clark kent scenes. henry cavill looks like he was drawn out of a comic book. but i'm not yet convinced if he's pulled the role off yet because he wasn't given much
 
In the trailer for this there's these two bandits which the Lone Ranger beats up, they seem to be comic relief, a skinny one and a fat one. The skinny one puts on a womans shawl. This is just like the two undead pirates in the POTC. The whole thing just looks unimaginative and bland.
 
Have blockbuster Hollywood films been this long for a while or is this a more recent trend (past 5 years) of Hollywood not realizing that sometimes less is more?

Give me 1hr45min lean, cut action films over 2 and a half hour everything-but-the-kitchen-sink "epics" any day.
 
Have blockbuster Hollywood films been this long for a while or is this a more recent trend (past 5 years) of Hollywood not realizing that sometimes less is more?

Give me 1hr45min lean, cut action films over 2 and a half hour everything-but-the-kitchen-sink "epics" any day.

It's mainly a Gore Verbinski/Disney problem. The Pirates movies are all absurdly long. At World's End was 168 minutes. I mean, Jesus Christ.
 
Someone old Indian guy, as Tonto in his 90-100?, tells a tale about him and The Lone Ranger, in 1869 Colby, Texas? to a kid at one of the museum attraction in a carnival in 1933.

The real ending is his old guy walking off into the desert during the credit rolling.

No real supernatural elements. Only unnatural elements are the piranha rabbits and the white horse magically appearing on the roof of a barn. There is talking of Indian religion that gives the supernatural vibe in a natural world.

Plot is about the railroad guy, who is the brother of the criminal, who together are the two white men the young boy Tonto saves. Tonto shows them a silver mining depot in exchange for a shitty watch. They slaughter his village and that explains why Tonto is a luny Johnny Depp character. Anyways, the railroad is to transport all this silver to San Francisco. Guy does hostile stockholder takeover of the railroads. Lone Ranger is a no-kill Batman/Kenshin guy but not as badass. Disgusted with discovering the corruption he finally accepts the wearing the mask and become outlaw hero instead of in-the-law hero. Railroad guy was using his brother the criminal and his gang to impersonate as Comanche Indians raiding a town to show as violation of peace treaty and the US cavalry to retaliate against the real Comanche Indians. US Cavalry learned of the truth but was bribed with the silver.

evil white men vs noble savages

Tonto and Lone Ranger are "brothers" due to the Indian religion/mysticism. Calls him wrong brother.

No famous line "who was that masked man?" But lots of self talk about the mask instead.

Maybe will see it when I see the movie again on Netflix in 2016. How did they know the mining bomb material is in the bank?

Cadaverish cuts out Lone Ranger's brother's body part but won't know it was the heart that got cut out until later in the film.

The drinking old homeless looking guy is the traitor in the Ranger posse group.

Next week is Pacific Rim in 3d but don't know if it will be 48fps version.
 
Iron Man 3 was the most disappointing film of the summer. Such an awful piece of shit in just about every regard.
I absolutely feel the same way and felt that Iron Man 2 was the superior film.

As for Lone Ranger, the trailers made it look as bland as Pirates 4 and I hated Pirates 4.
 
its really strange to see fresh rating for movies like captain america and iron man 2 & 3. heck even Prometheus got fresh rating. where as MOS, watchmen 300 all get rotten ratings and they are much better than former in many cases

300 and Watchmen both have fresh ratings, though the former just by the skin of its teeth. Ah, back in the days when Snyder made entertaining movies.
 
Pacific Rim will probably disappoint.

yeah, I'm looking forward to it, but purely because the concept. I'm in the minority on this but I think both Hellboy movies were supremely lame at best, and pedestrian from basically every angle except art design. I'm half-expecting Pacific Rim to be not much different.
 
I didn't like it at all. Way to freaking long, seriously stop with these long movies guys. It's not necessarily a terrible movie just VERY forgettable.
 
Allright, I saw the Lone Ranger last night. I won't spoil anything just to be polite, but my impression of it was that I liked it. But I didn't love it, it's basically Pirates of the Carribean in the old west, like everyone assumed. If you go in expecting that and not expecting some great tribute to the original Lone Ranger series, then you'll probably be able to enjoy it. Some of people in the audience were upset about all the slapstick humor and how it made a mockery of the characters somewhat. My girlfriend for example loved the old TV series, and she had issues with some of the "liberties" the movie took with Tonto and the Ranger.

I had no such hangups, so I found it a fun film. There were many over the top crazy moments (unbelievable?) and there were many plot holes and story issues, but I was having fun watching it so they didn't break the movie for me. It never tried to take itself too seriously. The storyline was decent, better than I expected honestly, and gave the characters a good background to grow from during the movie. There was humor, sadness, emotional moments, and decent action, if not a little over the top action at times. The grand finale scene was full of ridiculous moments, it was done well but I rolled my eyes a few times.

So, if you go in with your realism radar turned off and expecting a PoTC in the old west then you'll probably like it. If you want to see anything else in it then you probably won't like it. I'm glad I saw it for free, but if I had paid for my tickets then I wouldn't have been upset about it and would have felt I got my monies worth.


If anyone wants to ask any questions about it I can spoiler the answers if needed.
 
This was a dull, dull, dull movie. Verbinski has such a great visual style, and there are great touches throughout (esp. in the 25 minutes of action or so), but the rest is fairly lifeless. There's a handful of idiotic jokes and the framing device is completely unnecessary. I don't think it's a horrible movie, just one that really doesn't need to be seen and your 2.5 hours could be spent with the many other worthwhile features in theaters.

C-
 
There was an interesting piece on NPR this morning about how Depp and Disney supposedly went to great pains to court the approval of Native Americans in the making of this film.

Depp talked about how proud he was of his Native American heritage, which basically amounts to, "My parents told me we have Indian blood in us."

And then he talked about the Tonto getup with the the war paint and the dead bird, which was inspired by a picture he found on the Internet.

It was hilarious. What a freaking joke.
 
Depp talked about how proud he was of his Native American heritage, which basically amounts to, "My parents told me we have Indian blood in us."

Most of the older European families in North America (those who first arrived on the continent in the 1600s to 1800s) can make the same claim.

This movie is down to 16% on Rotten Tomatoes with a 4.5 average after 31 reviews. It's firmly in "watch on Netflix if I am bored" territory for me now.
 
Wild Wild West, Cowboys vs Aliens, Hex, and now this.

Blockbuster Westerns don't work.
It feels like the common thread in all these is that they're desperately trying to gain the attention of people who don't like westerns, rather than trying to be good westerns.
 
This movie is down to 16% on Rotten Tomatoes with a 4.5 average after 31 reviews. It's firmly in "watch on Netflix if I am bored" territory for me now.

Good thing Disney signed that agreement with Netflix then.

Or it could be one of those "get drunk with a bunch of friends and laugh all the way through it while watching it on Netflix."
 
It feels like the common thread in all these is that they're desperately trying to gain the attention of people who don't like westerns, rather than trying to be good westerns.

Absolutely. It's just forced I guess.

It's not like we don't have great modern westerns. Tru Grit was awesome.
 
Most of the older European families in North America (those who first arrived on the continent in the 1600s to 1800s) can make the same claim.

Pretty much. I've had relatives make similar claims about my family, but you don't see me pretending to be proud of it.

Toward the end of the NPR story, a Native American scholar made the rather damning and obvious point that if Disney really cared about making a culturally sensitive portrayal, the very least they could have done was to cast a Native American actor.

But of course, that's totally out of the question.
 
I'm not sure where that definition of blockbuster begins and ends here, but I think Django abs True Grit both made a lot of money.
Most people don't see those movies as westerns, they see the movies as action flicks or dramas, but the colorful old "happy" western serial feel is pretty much dead these days.
 
I saw it last night and I tweeted these thoughts after the movie:

Y'know, something is strange when The Lone Ranger (a Disney movie) is more viscerally violent and contains more blood than World War Z.

The Lone Ranger is such a bizarre, disjointed movie. Couldn't decide if it wanted to be happy-go-lucky kids flick or a sad-go-sucky drama.

As you can tell, I didn't like it. At all. The movie was all over the place and often times made absolutely no sense, to the point where they created a narrative out to explain it (seriously!). Also, the violence was pretty damn brutal, especially for a Disney movie. If this was a serious drama/action movie, I wouldn't have cared, but with the mindset that this a family movie, it struck me as bizarre. Unlike Indiana Jones (which also has violence), Lone Ranger is hardly comical about some of the violence. In fact, one scene in particular seemed straight out of a horror movie. And served no purpose really (you'll know the scene if you see it).

Also: Tonto was basically Penny to The Lone Ranger's Inspector Gadget -- The Lone Ranger was hardly heroic and pretty much lucked his way through every situation, which, if you were expecting that, is OK. But I went into this movie thinking The Lone Ranger was a legitimate hero (ala any comic hero). Apparently not. Whatevs!

Long story short, I'd skip this.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Top Bottom