Matthew McConaghey: He played a Texan! WHAT A FUCKING STRETCH. Just a remarkable transformation from Regular Laconic Texan to Alarmingly Thin Laconic Texan. It might just be the best Texan role McConaghey has ever played, and Lord knows you have choices in that department. Just look at his iMDB profile!
- Mysterious Texan, True Detective (2014)
- Scary Texan, Frailty (2001)
- Horny Texan, Dazed & Confused (1993)
- Homicidal Texan, Killer Joe (2011)
- Brave Texan, Lone Star (1996)
- Guy Literally Named Dallas, Magic Mike (2012)
- Matt Schaub, Untitled ESPN Docudrama (2018)
I couldn't even see the actor anymore. All I could see was the Texas. Just an amazing performance.
Chiwetel Ejiofor: Pfft. He didn't play a Texan! LAME. By the way, it's gotta be fun to spend weeks in the deathly Louisiana heat, playing a role in which you are beaten and hanged and forced to re-live the horrors of the past, only to be told by the media, "Nah, you have no chance of winning. It's THE YEAR OF THE MCCONAISSANCE. Sorry, guy!" God forbid there be any suspense to this Oscar ceremony. No no, please have the media run 50,000 voter polls so that the outcome becomes ironclad. At least Chris Berman only tips picks the DAY of the draft.