Gay and Bisexual relationship thread |OT|

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#1
As Evilore mentioned we can no longer have megathreads.

Because of that, use this thread only for discussing problems/issues that you have in your relationship if you are gay or bisexual. This is not a thread to talk about the game you're playing at the moment or posting the hot guy pics you just saw on the internet. We have a tumblr page if you want to see something like that.

What can be included here:

* If you have gay/bisexual relationship problem.
* If you want to talk about the guy you're crushing/interested in.
* Talking about upcoming RL/internet hookup.
* How to find other gay/bisexual friends.
* Stories of possible gay/bisexual encounter, etc.


If you want to post about coming-out issues, go to:

* Gay and Bisexual Coming-out thread

If you want to chat with other GayGAF members, join them on Skype:

* Download Skype.
* Add either: technicolor.sai or motorde with a request to join the chat and they will add you. We use the Skype chat as a means to be a little more silly and chatty than we are on the forums! Beware the potential NWS in chat.

If in the future, if one of these two threads are not big enough, it'd be merged as one.
 
#4
I am bisexual but in a happy relationship with a woman... I have nothing to contribute here. Sorry.

Edit: Sorry for the dummy spit, I'll get over it. :D
 
#11
Himuro said:
Well, I'm attracted to some guys, but I would rather date and have more attraction towards women. I don't know, I'm fucking confused.
You've come to the right place! No rush in deciding what you are. I love being gay and I'd not change it given the opportunity. Personally, I think you're just greedy :p
 

i_am_ben

running_here_and_there
#12
Teh Hamburglar said:
You've come to the right place! No rush in deciding what you are. I love being gay and I'd not change it given the opportunity. Personally, I think you're just greedy :p
actually its hard to know whether his post belongs more in the coming out thread or the gay/bi relationship thread :lol
 
#13
More love from NegroGAF. Do the damn thang. :D

I'm not gay, but I appreciate you guys and the many struggles you may/have gone through. Be strong and just be yourselves!
 

DY_nasty

NeoGAF's official "was this shooting justified" consultant
#14
Himuro said:
Good luck with this.

I know I will be coming here to ask some questions since I'm kinda bi, though I pre-dominantly have an attraction to women.
I'd never say it out loud, but I think Terrence Howard is gorgeous - but I could never see myself actually kissing another man. :lol
 
K

kittens

Unconfirmed Member
#15
I mentioned this in that thread on jealousy the other day, but it's worth repeating: The Ethical Slut is one of the best books on relationships I've read. It's primarily about polyamorous relationships, but delves into a ton of topics/issues that effect all relationships, and is friendly to anyone in a "non-traditional" relationship.

The only thing that kinda sucks about it is that it's written by two middle-aged women who don't seem to be very in touch with modern queer (especially gay) culture. They both date a variety of genders, but the way they discuss queer relationships feels a bit out of date at times.

Some other stuff I'd recommend:
Redefining Our Relationships
Opening Up
Learning Good Consent
Support
 
#17
Himuro said:
Well, I'm attracted to some guys, but I would rather date and have more attraction towards women. I don't know, I'm fucking confused.
have you ever actually been in any sort of serious relationship with a guy? you currently have a GF, no?
 

TheSeks

Blinded by the luminous glory that is David Bowie's physical manifestation.
#18
Himuro said:
I know I will be coming here to ask some questions since I'm kinda bi, though I pre-dominantly have an attraction to women.
I learn more and more about stuff I need less and less about you, Himuro. :lol

Also this megathread splitting kinda sucks. But if the servers are straining, I guess I can get behind this.
 
#19
Himuro said:
Well, I'm attracted to some guys, but I would rather date and have more attraction towards women. I don't know, I'm fucking confused.
Well I can look at a guy and say "hmm that man is attractive." If I was stuck on an island with Usher for instance, I'd probably fuck him.

But in terms of everyday occurrence I'm not attracted to men. But I will say penis>vagina in terms of pure aesthetics
 
#24
Yoshiya said:
This thread could work. Perhaps one day i'll be in a relationship, or almost there, and will have something to add :lol
Pretty much this. Though I don't even know if I would classify myself as bisexual. Fuck these labels The Man is tryin' to put on all of us.
 
#25
Yoshiya said:
This thread could work. Perhaps one day i'll be in a relationship, or almost there, and will have something to add :lol
As mentioned in the OP, this thread can also be used to talk about your attraction to an individual. Not necessarily have to be existing relationship.
 

DY_nasty

NeoGAF's official "was this shooting justified" consultant
#26
Anyone ever had a working relationship with a bisexual woman as a man? Or anyone with a bisexual in general. I'm not confused, I love women, but I'm kind of in the same boat once again (with the same girl, lulz) and her bisexuality.

Everyone fucks around in college for the most part, so I'm not going to harp on her past like I would've before. Normally I'd just throw the whole idea of a serious relationship with someone who's bisexual out the window, but since we've done the whole back and forth thing before with her and its been around two years since then... maybe its worth a shot?

What hung us up in the past was her not being really open with me about things. I'm not controlling or insecure at all, but how she went about going out just really threw me off. She was a flirt, but really only with girls. Anyways, when we broke up it was because of typical myspace drama that I probably could've worked through if I was actually patient enough and if she were more forthcoming about herself. She was making out with a girl, a friend of hers, which I was okay with initially (drunk, I knew she was a party girl, w/e). Then that same friend started up a rumor mill on our small campus about she was gonna take my girl, etc. etc.. Being in a 'I'm tired of this bullshit" mood, I simply stopped calling her thinking that if she actually had something to say, she'd give me a call.

Call never came.

Now she just hit me up as I'm about to come back home before I go off to Basic in March. Aaaand thats the issue. She was great but all my suspicions about her being a leaf in the wind as far as her sexuality was concerned sure felt like they were justified after the whole ordeal.

But that was two years ago and people do change.... right? I'm not trying to wish her un-bisexual or anything. If we can get a serious relationship going and she wants to have threesomes, whatever, pop bottles, but I'm not going to compete with a member of the opposite sex over anyone. Is there a balance in her that I should be looking for?

(Forgive me if I said some ignorant shit, I'm far from knowledgeable on the matter)

Rez said:
finally, something we can all agree on.
:lol
 
#27
Well i'm in a Long distance relationship! I'm now wondering if it's unfair of me to ask him to move quite literally over a ocean to be with me. He wants to come but it seems unfair to expect it to ever happen.
 

Snuggles

erotic butter maelstrom
#28
Delio said:
Well i'm in a Long distance relationship! I'm now wondering if it's unfair of me to ask him to move quite literally over a ocean to be with me. He wants to come but it seems unfair to expect it to ever happen.
Long distance has it's benefits, at least you don't grow tired of each other, but eventually something serious has to happen before it fades away. If you're serious about it, you should at least mention it, before it drifts away like a puff of smoke.
I've tried so I can say first hand that long distance doesn't work in the long run if you want something real. I guess thats the downside to the internet age, you have access to great people that you'll probably never meet in real life but it's almost impossible to take it to the next step.
 
#29
Delio said:
Well i'm in a Long distance relationship! I'm now wondering if it's unfair of me to ask him to move quite literally over a ocean to be with me. He wants to come but it seems unfair to expect it to ever happen.
Did he offer to come with you overseas or did you ask him to come? Either way, if he's genuinely willing, I don't see why it'd be a problem. As long as he knows what he's in for.
 
#30
Snuggler said:
I'm straight as it gets but I would let Jon Hamm do whatever he wants to me.
Damn, I started watching Mad Men yesterday and I am gasping for air whenever his lovely face graces the screen (which is frequently). On top of that, my reigning girl crush (Queen Hendricks) is also on that show. Hnng all over.

Anyway, [/derail]. I'm not in any relationship; I'm not even publicly out yet. The thing I desire the most, after world peace, is being in a relationship with a (preferably hot) man. I've never been in a relationship in my life (granted, I'm only turning 20 this Fall so my life hasn't been a long one). I'm distancing myself away from my "friends" because I don't want bigotry around me, and so I feel lonely every once in a while; my yearning for a relationship (and coming out) grows exponentially every day. :c

Actually, I wonder if discussion like this would be more appropriate in the coming out thread, when/if that ever gets made. Tell me if so.
 

Snuggles

erotic butter maelstrom
#31
Damn, I started watching Mad Men yesterday and I am gasping for air whenever his lovely face graces the screen (which is frequently). .
It's not even so much his looks, for me, but his charisma. I'd feel like I don't even have a choice.

What a massive tower of power and charm.
 
#32
Replicant said:
Did he offer to come with you overseas or did you ask him to come? Either way, if he's genuinely willing, I don't see why it'd be a problem. As long as he knows what he's in for.
See he offered to come here.It will take a while but he wants to come here but i feel bad for making him move all the way here. It's weird but i cant shake the feeling that he is missing out on things there.
 
#34
Koodo said:
Anyway, [/derail]. I'm not in any relationship; I'm not even publicly out yet. The thing I desire the most, after world peace, is being in a relationship with a (preferably hot) man. I've never been in a relationship in my life (granted, I'm only turning 20 this Fall so my life hasn't been a long one). I'm distancing myself away from my "friends" because I don't want bigotry around me, and so I feel lonely every once in a while; my yearning for a relationship (and coming out) grows exponentially every day. :c

Actually, I wonder if discussion like this would be more appropriate in the coming out thread, when/if that ever gets made. Tell me if so.
I'm in the same situation. I know I WILL lose some of my friends if I ever come out so..... I'm not conflicted about being gay but I am not sure if I want to tell my friend about it.

As for the coming-out thread, I'm starting to wonder if it'd be better if it's just combined with this thread. But it's for Evilore to decide.

Delio said:
See he offered to come here.It will take a while but he wants to come here but i feel bad for making him move all the way here. It's weird but i cant shake the feeling that he is missing out on things there.
Will he have a job when he gets there? Does he know what he'd miss? Are you afraid that you won't be able to live up to his expectation if he does move all the way there? Those are things you need to think about and talk with each other (face to face preferably) before any decision is made.
 

Snuggles

erotic butter maelstrom
#36
Delio said:
See he offered to come here.It will take a while but he wants to come here but i feel bad for making him move all the way here. It's weird but i cant shake the feeling that he is missing out on things there.
If he wants to come to you, let him. If you're worth it, he will come. Don't feel bad, feeling bad or questioning your partner's choice is just a poison for the relationship.
Go for the gold, brutha.
 
#38
Replicant said:
Will he have a job when he gets there? Does he know what he'd miss? Are you afraid that you won't be able to live up to his expectation if he does move all the way there? Those are things you need to think about and talk with each other (face to face preferably) before any decision is made.
Yeah he's trying to secure a job here before he comes. It's just a long process and i wonder if he is willing to go thru it all. And yeah i always worry if i will be enough for him or anyone i date. But that's nasty self esteem issues (Comes from being a big guy).

Edit " And thanks Snuggler. I always have problems with ruining my own relationships with doubts.
 
#41
I have not once met a guy in my daily routine that I've dated or even became friends with. I've tried okcupid and I've tried socializing in gaygamer even going to one of their rock band parties. Where the fuck are nice guys? What can I say to not sound like a creeper? Where the fuck are the nice guys?
 
#42
Jibber Hack said:
I have not once met a guy in my daily routine that I've dated or even became friends with. I've tried okcupid and I've tried socializing in gaygamer even going to one of their rock band parties. Where the fuck are nice guys? What can I say to not sound like a creeper? Where the fuck are the nice guys?
grindr
 
#44
Jibber Hack said:
I have not once met a guy in my daily routine that I've dated or even became friends with. I've tried okcupid and I've tried socializing in gaygamer even going to one of their rock band parties. Where the fuck are nice guys? What can I say to not sound like a creeper? Where the fuck are the nice guys?
I sometimes wish that we would somehow get magical gaydar powers as soon as we come out, so there is less confusion on who we can date.
 
#47
I've been single for a year now. And I moved to a very small town in Indiana (its a college town) and I'm 28 so everyone here is quite a bit younger than I am. So it looks like I'll be a born again virgin by time I graduate.

:(
 
#49
I consider myself straight, though I have 'bisexual tendencies'. I thought I was bi, but when the opportunity arose to have sex with a man I completely backed out and found out it wasn't for me.

I'm happy in a relationship with my girlfriend, but I can be attracted to guys. Also, to clarify; my occasional attraction to men is platonic most of the times. I'm sexually aroused by women, but not so much by men. I do appreciate good looking men though.

I know, I'm weird like that.
 
#50
That seems fairly normal, to be honest, Silicon.

Anecdotally, I find a lot of gay men grapple with a similar thing, but with women rather than men.
 
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