That, or not relating to/finding little interest in the cycle of topics.
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Gay and Bisexual thread |OT2|Bears and Twinks and Otters. Oh My!
- Thread starter Delio
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That, or not relating to/finding little interest in the cycle of topics.
All of the above.
the best advice I can give you is stay single for at least a year, AT THE VERY LEAST, after the break up.
you'll learn more about yourself and be a better partner when the next guy comes.
What are you looking for? Short-term/Long-term Boyfriend? Hookup?
I don't know! I don't know... Ugh. And now I have to clean my apartment if I'm hooking up.
Whatchu need.
Spiritreaver
Member
Chill out. If you don't even feel comfortable with rebounding, just chill out. Let shit mellow out for you before you jump head first into anything, hookups included.
Spiritreaver
Member
So last night I was talking with one of my only gay friends and we sort of got onto the subject of dating. We both tend to like the same kinds of guys, share the same interests, flirt all time, lol. I dunno why we haven't dated.
That all aside though, it was refreshing to hear that he's convinced there's no one to date in OKC either. In fact we named off the guys who came close, but for whatever reason didn't quite work out.
Long story short, maybe my standards really aren't that high, and I'm really just not going to find anything here. At the very least it was nice knowing that someone else felt the same way about OKC.
That all aside though, it was refreshing to hear that he's convinced there's no one to date in OKC either. In fact we named off the guys who came close, but for whatever reason didn't quite work out.
Long story short, maybe my standards really aren't that high, and I'm really just not going to find anything here. At the very least it was nice knowing that someone else felt the same way about OKC.
Anyone here do a lot of reading? I'm looking for recommendation on novels with some gay characters. I tend to prefer characters my age group (18-25), but going by young adult novels seems the best way to find them...I just don't want to feel talked down to or the novel not be mature enough.
However, I did finish a book this weekend that I feel is fantastic. What They Always Tell Us. The book takes you in the minds of two brothers, one who attempted to commit suicide months earlier and wondering why his brother isn't as close to him anymore.
I identified a lot with how lonely the character felt and some great things end up happening. Uplifting book and put me in a good mood. I'd recommend it for anyone who'd like to find something to read.
I feel the same way. Or those I contact never bother to message back. I'm pretty much giving up and resigning the fact that I'm going to be a horny virgin forever.
However, I did finish a book this weekend that I feel is fantastic. What They Always Tell Us. The book takes you in the minds of two brothers, one who attempted to commit suicide months earlier and wondering why his brother isn't as close to him anymore.
I identified a lot with how lonely the character felt and some great things end up happening. Uplifting book and put me in a good mood. I'd recommend it for anyone who'd like to find something to read.
I feel the same way. Or those I contact never bother to message back. I'm pretty much giving up and resigning the fact that I'm going to be a horny virgin forever.
DR2K
Banned
It ruins friendship, that's why.
Cosmic Bus
pristine morning snow
Confirmation bias. I've seen friends of both orientations date and marry, and date and break up; the friendships carry on in both. So, that's my bias.
So you're saying that sometimes it works, sometime it doesn't? Ha.
At one point in my life, my closest friends all started dating each other one after the other (or rather one pair after the other). They're all still together 5+ years later but let me tell you that at the time it stung being the only one left by himself.
Made sense though, being the only one of two gay guys with no (mutual) attraction to the other one.
At one point in my life, my closest friends all started dating each other one after the other (or rather one pair after the other). They're all still together 5+ years later but let me tell you that at the time it stung being the only one left by himself.
Made sense though, being the only one of two gay guys with no (mutual) attraction to the other one.
Blood Diamonds
Banned
Hey, long time no see.
anyway,I have P.E now
how do I not get boners .-.
anyway,I have P.E now
how do I not get boners .-.
lordfroakie
Member
Think of happy thoughts!
Blood Diamonds
Banned
Actually take some months for yourself. Rediscover yourself and what you want and need and after you feeling better and new go looking for whatever you are looking for. Hook up, long term short term. No need for a year but not a 2 week break (Usually trying too soon rarely goes well)
Mystic Theurge
Member
Another gaygaffer down.
RIP Gaborn.
RIP Gaborn.
How many messages have you sent? Do most of them get replies only for the conversation to fizzle out, or are you just not getting any responses at all?
Shouldn't that depend on how long the relationship was and how the person felt about the relationship. Eg, if it only lasted a few months, it can take a short period of time; if it lasted years, then it'll take years. Also, if the person is over the relationship and breaks up with the other person -- he or she probably has less time to worry about.
The general rule is usually half the time the relationship lasts. If it was a year, it'll take six months to get over the person.
I had just looked at the thread. :\
That sounds silly/stupid.
A rule for the amount of time you have to grieve the relationship or the amount of time to get over someone?
You cannot possibly quantify that. You will be ready when you are ready. There is no rule nor specific time frame. You will know when the time has come, be it short or long. It depends totally on the person and not particularly in the amount of time the relationship lasted.
I do agree, though, the shorter the relationship, the easier it could be to get over it.
Not sure I go in spurts. No one on there is really all that attractive I've found, but apparently too much for me. It could be the content of my profile I suppose since I'm bad at that stuff, but I don't get much from Grindr either - mostly older men.
I'd at least like to find a single friend so I could actually have someone to go out with and meet people. Can't really go to bars and such alone.
...And that really sucks about Gaborn. I really despized his politics (the "gay uncle tom" i heard mentioned seemed apt to me at the time), but seemed like a good person. He was the first gay person I knew of when I first ventured to Gaf. I was really conservative (just reading his threads made me feel nervous) and thought I was straight.
Cosmic Bus
pristine morning snow
Why not.
Spiritreaver
Member
It's just funny. I'm a buff guy, and suffice to say I would like someone who also rather built, simply because it shows how much fitness is important to them. They don't have to be big, just quite athletic. In a perfect world though, I'd like to date another serious bodybuilder, or powerlifter/physique guy. Someone who competes.
Whenever I go out here in OKC. I'm almost always the biggest guy, and I'm not even "big". Sucks.
I'm on the camp that says friends can date, but it when it comes to my friend I've kinda gotten over the thought of dating him. I think he has too. I'd rather have a good gay friend, than risk a relationship not working and ruining that.
I guess that goes with DR's point, lol.
I am going out on my own this weekend for the first time. If I can do it, so can you.
That would just be weird...sitting there with no one to talk to. I have a little social phobia in those types of situations too, which wouldn't help. Plus, I think a gay bar might make me feel even weirder
RatskyWatsky
Hunky Nostradamus
I don't think he was talking about his bodybuilding.
That would just be weird...sitting there with no one to talk to. I have a little social phobia in those types of situations too, which wouldn't help. Plus, I think a gay bar might make me feel even weirder
You should try it sometime though. It's good for your own character growth.
That would just be weird...sitting there with no one to talk to. I have a little social phobia in those types of situations too, which wouldn't help. Plus, I think a gay bar might make me feel even weirder
I've always wished that there were gay sports bars where one can grab a beer and some bar food and watch a game or three. American Football, soccer, Australian rules football, rugby, etc etc..
Hell.. the decoration for the bar writes itself: large, FatHead-like posters of shirtless athletes. Yum!
Put a portion of the bar outside (a really nice deck) where one can go, eat, watch a game, and bring the dog? Awesome.
I'm not a club guy at all - it's been over a decade since I've had a night out clubbing - but a sports bar like this would have me there at least once a month.
Start a business! A low key pub-style gay bar is my white whale.
I like that you brought-up "low key." I agree 1000%. Being able to hear the conversation, being able to hear myself think.. this is way underrated.
Mmm. Cheese fries and Abita Amber beer..
A gay bar where I don't feel forced to dance like a clown!? but can sit back and watch some golf!? sign me up
freenudemacusers
Member
*record scratch*
Whenever I go out here in OKC. I'm almost always the biggest guy, and I'm not even "big". Sucks.
RatskyWatsky
Hunky Nostradamus
Hahaha...
He was though.
hehe I was just joking!
There will never be a place where you're allowed to watch golf.
i've never been to it, but i'm pretty sure there's a place like this in calgary. i've heard that "the backlot" is a laidback, gay pub that tends to have a bit of an older crowd. i'm assuming they watch sports there.
or it's a dirty sexhole just like all of the other gay bars in town.
RatskyWatsky
Hunky Nostradamus
Only one way to know: Pictures!!!
I second this motion!
Cosmic Bus
pristine morning snow
I've been trying to hook up with this guy for over two weeks and school or our jobs continue getting in the way. This was supposed to be the night, damn it. But no, he gets called in to help fix some emergency at work.
#whitewhine
#whitewhine
It's normal to be upset Cosmic, hopefully you guys will soon be able to get together.
I've recently realized than one of my favourite gays from 1girl5gays recently moved to New York. I would LOVE to bump into him at a bar because he seems like the kind of guy I would really get along with. From my cyber-stalking, I've gathered that he lives in Brooklyn with his boyfriend (he looks like a Brooklyn homo). Hopefully if I lurk around there enough I'll end up meeting him! Ha.
It's normal to be upset Cosmic, hopefully you guys will soon be able to get together.
I've recently realized than one of my favourite gays from 1girl5gays recently moved to New York. I would LOVE to bump into him at a bar because he seems like the kind of guy I would really get along with. From my cyber-stalking, I've gathered that he lives in Brooklyn with his boyfriend (he looks like a Brooklyn homo). Hopefully if I lurk around there enough I'll end up meeting him! Ha.
is it Ish Furoz?
He likes Black guys, yay!!
Dead Prince
Banned
It's normal to be upset Cosmic, hopefully you guys will soon be able to get together.
I've recently realized than one of my favourite gays from 1girl5gays recently moved to New York. I would LOVE to bump into him at a bar because he seems like the kind of guy I would really get along with. From my cyber-stalking, I've gathered that he lives in Brooklyn with his boyfriend (he looks like a Brooklyn homo). Hopefully if I lurk around there enough I'll end up meeting him! Ha.
he doesn't use four square?
freenudemacusers
Member
I've been meaning to make an OT for that show...
Spiritreaver
Member
Oh you guys....
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