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[Dark Octave]

he wasn't using straight as a pejorative

*Looks up "pejorative"*

Nah, I didn't mean it like that. But he does look gay as fuck though. Just saying.

He looks "gay as fuck?"

Don't be an asshole. Gay doesn't look any certain way, despite your homophobia.

I'm not a homophobe at all. Some of my best fr...

Ah, nevermind.

And your original problem of me was with me telling him maybe he should "act the part". Now that's not a problem anymore since you relize OP (a gay man) said the same exact thing? :lol

 

[fernoca]

Really? You've never had a guy give you his number at a straight club? How bizarre

Though, when someone really wants to give you their number, the place doesn't matter..

I've had male/female/straight/gay-co workers, (in various jobs) ..tha thas been given phone numbers by customers, people that walked-in, delivery guy...etc..

 

[joeblackisback]

OP, I can definitely understand why you don't necessarily want to go to a gay club. I had a girl drag me to a gay club (I didn't know it was a gay club til I got there, I'm straight btw) and it was really as outlandish as you might imagine seeing in a movie. Guys were walking around half naked, making out with each other, etc. Some guy offered to buy me a drink.. So, after I finished the drink I took off and headed to another club.

I'm sure not all gay clubs are like that (or even most I would imagine) but just the idea of something as extreme as that is probably intimidating for someone going looking to meet somebody.

Just put out the word on the street that you're single and looking, and you'll have people trying to hook you up before too long. It's obvious from the replies you're a good looking guy, so I wouldn't worry about that part.

 

[neojubei]

perhaps you shulda danced with a Latino guy

seriously, guys. Stop acting etero and pretending you've got some sort of gay aura

Since most of my friends are straight I go to straight clubs sometimes and I want to have a good time whomever I am dancing with.


BlazingDarkness

You're cute I'm sure some guy is going to ask you out, it just takes time.

 

[krypt0nian]

*Looks up "pejorative"*

Nah, I didn't mean it like that. But he does look gay as fuck though. Just saying.



I'm not a homophobe at all. Some of my best fr...

Ah, nevermind.

And you're original problem of me was with me telling him maybe he should "act the part" now that's not a problem anymore? :lol

Your attitude is the problem here. He doesn't look "gay as fuck" , you ignorant slob.

He doesn't need to act like anything but himself.

 

[Ranger X]

He looks "gay as fuck?"

Don't be an asshole. Gay doesn't look any certain way, despite your homophobia.

Sorry to enter the discussion like that but for some reasons you post could be read like you're offended or something.

In his defense, i can spot a gay guy 100km from me and i don't have anything against them. If i see a gay guy that typically looks really gay, i might say something like "he's gay as fuck". I will not despise him because he's gay. Gay people are fine.

 

[krypt0nian]

Sorry to enter the discussion like that but for some reasons you post could be read like you're offended or something.

In his defense, i can spot a gay guy 100km from me and i don't have anything against them. If i see a gay guy that typically looks really gay, i might say something like "he's gay as fuck". I will not despise him because he's gay. Gay people are fine.

I am pretty pissed. You should probably phrase it in a less demeaning manner?

Gay as fuck is a pretty terrible way to out it. The guys you're seeing aren't looking gay, they may be effeminate but that does not equal gay.

When you attribute that to gay, you carry on being the problem IMO. Esp when you don't mean anything by it.

 

[fernoca]

seriously, guys. Stop acting etero and pretending you've got some sort of gay aura

But that's the thing..
Is not like we're "acting".. yet, we are expected to "act gay", in order to get people interested in us..

BlazingDarkness,

Maybe fate is making you wait for Mr. Right rather than Mr. Right now?

Maybe for Blazing..I'm still waiting.. ..and not even Mr. Right Now seems to be interested.

 

[courage201]

I get some female advances-- which is fine-- but for some reason-- it feels ackward when a guy hits on me-- I get the heeie jeebies-- and I get skeeved off-- and last time a checked-- I'm not into women.

 

[Love To Love You Baby]

Yeah man, trust me, get a little more comfortable with yourself, get within about 50 yards of a few single gay men and you won't have any problems finding someone.

Hey baby ... that Ayn Rand you reading there? ;-)

 

[DarkJC]

Your attitude is the problem here. He doesn't look "gay as fuck" , you ignorant slob.

He doesn't need to act like anything but himself.

You initially had a problem with him saying "act gay". Suddenly you don't have a problem with that when he pointed out the OP said "act straight", and instead switch your cannons to something else.

You need to stop looking for a battle to fight, and calm down. It's the internet.

 

[Dark Octave]

Your attitude is the problem here. He doesn't look "gay as fuck" , you ignorant slob.

He doesn't need to act like anything but himself.

:lol :lol

Bad day today? Lighten up dude.

Quit acting like "gay" doesn't have a look or sound, because with all stereotypes, it does. And looking at this guys picture, he fits the bill. Nothing to be offended about, unless you have a problem with being gay.

I don't have a problem with him being gay, so why should you?

He looks gay as fuck. I look good as fuck. What's the problem? :lol

 

[Anasui Kishibe]

Since most of my friends are straight I go to straight clubs sometimes and I want to have a good time whomever I am dancing with.

that's ok, but you do dance with guys as well? do they know?

But that's the thing..
Is not like we're "acting".. yet, we are expected to "act gay", in order to get people interested in us..

not what i meant, I'm sincerely sorry. But how would you make anyone know you're gay?

 

[btkadams]

You sound like you're afraid of gay people, and use annoying terms like "straight acting." I wouldn't date you.

i dont know if you really mean what he means by straight acting. he didnt mean it by being disrespectful, he just meant that if people looked at him and heard him speak he seemed like an average straight guy but he happens to be gay. not that hes acting straight cuz he hates being gay.

 

[joeblackisback]

You need to stop looking for a battle to fight, and calm down. It's the internet.

This is pretty good advice no matter what the context, really.

 

[Ranger X]

I am pretty pissed. You should probably phrase it in a less demeaning manner?

Gay as fuck is a pretty terrible way to out it. The guys you're seeing aren't looking gay, they may be effeminate but that does not equal gay.

When you attribute that to gay, you carry on being the problem IMO. Esp when you don't mean anything by it.

I agree he could phrase it better, like being more polite of course. But it's not like we use the "as fuck" compliment once a year. At least in my town, it's pretty casual really.
I was just inviting you into not jumping to fast on what might just be an expression, way of talking.

 

[Saint10118]

*Looks up "pejorative"*

Nah, I didn't mean it like that. But he does look gay as fuck though. Just saying.

How you meant it and how you used it then are two completely different things.

 

[neojubei]

Maybe for Blazing..I'm still waiting.. ..and not even Mr. Right Now seems to be interested.

Same here.

 

[DarkJC]

How you meant it and how you used it then are two completely different things.

Or perhaps it was how you read it. Believe it or not, in some places, "_____ as fuck" is a commonly used expression.

 

[Tron 2.0]

The only way you're going to meet gay people is if you hang around gay people. I'm sorry to break the news to you, but it's true. So you're going to have to go where gay people are, like the "scary" "gay village." Bring a friend with you if you're uncomfortable. They don't even have to be gay.

What city do you live in? You'll have to explain what makes the place "scary." Is it the people? The location? The persistent threat of having roofers dropped in your cosmo and being manhandled in a poorly lit alley?

If it's a large metropolitan location, chances are there are many different gay bars to visit and gay organizations to join. Scope them out until you find one where you're comfortable. Make friends instead of soulmates. Those friends can introduce you to their friends and eventually you might find someone to date or, if nothing else, practice docking.

 

[Imm0rt4l]

Honestly, off the pic alone I'd assume you were gay. I think you probably just need to socialize with more gay ppl, it seems that some in this thread are already a little booty hurt by some of your choice of words(but we know what you meant). That's all I can really say.

 

[Saint10118]

Or perhaps it was how you read it. Believe it or not, in some places, "_____ as fuck" is a commonly used expression.

hmmm... Trying to imagine a scenario where someone saying I look "gay as fuck" as a compliment... Sorry.

 

[krypt0nian]

:lol :lol

Bad day today? Lighten up dude.

Quit acting like "gay" doesn't have a look or sound, because with all stereotypes, it does. And looking at this guys picture, he fits the bill. Nothing to be offended about, unless you have a problem with being gay.

I don't have a problem with him being gay, so why should you?

He looks gay as fuck. I look good as fuck. What's the problem? :lol

You have a problem reading. Gay does not have a look/sound attributed to it as gay comes in every fucking shape size color and level of masculinity/femininity.

Just because you choose to limit gay to effeminate, don't suppose to attribute that to the whole community.

Why do I bother with net kids?

 

[btkadams]

Or perhaps it was how you read it. Believe it or not, in some places, "_____ as fuck" is a commonly used expression.

:lol :lol :lol
i guess the internet is not one of those places

 

[Mau ®]

How is "straight acting" offensive anyway? There are gay people who just look and act straight naturally. Does it mean they have to go out of their way to let people know about their sexuality?

 

[lexi]

:lol :lol

Bad day today? Lighten up dude.

Quit acting like "gay" doesn't have a look or sound, because with all stereotypes, it does. And looking at this guys picture, he fits the bill. Nothing to be offended about, unless you have a problem with being gay.

I don't have a problem with him being gay, so why should you?

He looks gay as fuck. I look good as fuck. What's the problem? :lol

smh

 

[Saint10118]

Make friends instead of soulmates. Those friends can introduce you to their friends and eventually you might find someone to date

Truly wonderful advice.

 

[Masked Man]

i had BDD (body dysmorphic disorder) for most of my earlier teens

Totally understand. =/ I had issues like that for a while, too.

I don't really have advice for you (no experience), but I'll keep my fingers crossed for you.

 

[Love To Love You Baby]

How is "straight acting" offensive anyway? There are gay people who just look and act straight naturally. Does it mean they have to go out of their way to let people know about their sexuality?

I didn't say it was offensive, I said it was annoying.

I think if we're going to go by stereotypes, we can find "straight acting" acceptable. But often I find the term rather loaded (in the sense that it's somehow a positive), and I think it's just one of those dumb terms that make you sound like an idiot when you use it.

 

[Ranger X]

How is "straight acting" offensive anyway? There are gay people who just look and act straight naturally. Does it mean they have to go out of their way to let people know about their sexuality?

Also, most straight people look and act a certain way. They have a stereotype that represent that majority (you now, that cool somewhat tuff guy, macho, can handle all situations no prob, etc). The you have gay guys that also have a majority looking a certain way and then they also have a stereotype.
BUT, in the end, only the use of the straight guy stereotype is ok it seems. LOL LOL

It's so cool to get offended in the years 2K. Seriously.

 

[Dark Octave]

You have a problem reading. Gay does not have a look/sound attributed to it as gay comes in every fucking shape size color and level of masculinity/femininity.

Just because you choose to limit gay to effeminate, don't suppose to attribute that to the whole community.

Why do I bother with net kids?

Who said anything about limiting "gay" to effeminacy? Of course there are endless traits of gay people. We are all individuals. But looking and acting like a female is a good way to point a motherfucker out as gay. :lol

:lol Stereotypes are partly true most of the time.

Gaf am I wrong?

C'mon y'all lighten up.

 

[Tron 2.0]

How is "straight acting" offensive anyway? There are gay people who just look and act straight naturally. Does it mean they have to go out of their way to let people know about their sexuality?

It's probably annoying more than offensive because it denotes that gay people are specifically supposed to act one way and straight people another, usually that gay men take on feminine characteristics while straight men are more masculine. And it indicates that it's more desirable to act "straight" than gay.

It's a term widely used on personal sites, but has little connotation in the real world since I've met plenty of straight men that are very feminine and gay men who are very masculine. But it's the stereotype that the phrase connotes that is found offensive.

 

[funkmastergeneral]

Gaf am I wrong?

C'mon y'all lighten up.

If I was gay, and someone called me "gay as fuck" I would take that as an insult.

 

[Gaborn]

Hey baby ... that Ayn Rand you reading there? ;-)

:lol :lol :lol ... :lol :lol :lol (I actually had someone say that to me, almost verbatim)

 

[PhoenixDark]

got no new ones, old webcam shall have to do

duuude you need an eye patch

 

[Saint10118]

Who said anything about limiting "gay" to effeminacy? Of course there are endless traits of gay people. We are all individuals. But looking and acting like a female is a good way to point a motherfucker out as gay. :lol

:lol Stereotypes are partly true most of the time.

Gaf am I wrong?

C'mon y'all lighten up.

 

[Dark Octave]

If I was gay, and someone called me "gay as fuck" I would take that as an insult.

That's why everybody is different. Some people here took it as an insult, and some didn't. That's just how I talk. But I think I have expressed enough already that I meant no harm.

 

[krypt0nian]

Also, most straight people look and act a certain way. They have a stereotype that represent that majority (you now, that cool somewhat tuff guy, macho, can handle all situations no prob, etc). The you have gay guys that also have a majority looking a certain way and then they also have a stereotype.
BUT, in the end, only the use of the straight guy stereotype is ok it seems. LOL LOL

It's so cool to get offended in the years 2K. Seriously.

Wow because the majority of the guys I'm close to are not the gay guys you're referring to. They actually are fairly nondescript working guys.
Especially outside of the city centers.

And in the corporate world I run into plenty of weak men who are straight.

You're just playing right into the images that TV and movies propagate.

You could choose to be above the masses and stop the stereotypical responses?

 

[Femmeworth]

The hell? At least they're honest.

 

[fernoca]

not what i meant, I'm sincerely sorry. But how would you make anyone know you're gay?

Don't be sorry.. ..I knew what you meant..
neojubei's example, was more in the lines of "Well I dance with girls and they give their numbers..I dance with guys, and nothing"..

In my case..
I've tried clubs, online groups, etc..and I'm like the walking clock "Hi!, what time is it?..Oh cool thanks.." ..Never heard a "Hi!, what are you up to, wanna talk"...and when I approach and try to start a conversation, calmed, relax, not depserate..I just get a weird look, a laugh and they ran like crazy...then start making fun of me to their friends..

:lol

 

[Saint10118]

That's why everybody is different. Some people here took it as an insult, and some didn't. That's just how I talk. But I think I have expressed enough already that I meant no harm.

Actually who here (that is gay) took what you said as a compliment?

 

[Ranger X]

And it indicates that it's more desirable to act "straight" than gay.

Why? How? Gay people are more attractive to gay people and straights to straights. There's no problem and no better sexual orientation (outside passing the genes).

Also, why don't people accept stereotypes? I mean why the fuck you think some stereotypes are there? Most gay guys are effiminate and straight guys can easily see it. If most gay guys were not like that, the stereotype simply wouldn't exist!
Why are we offended by such stereotypes again? It's cool to be offended 2008? I'm so offended by the stereotype of straight guys acting straight man. I mean fuck, if you're one of those rarer straight guys looking effiminate you will need to live and accept the straight stereotype. And the stereotype itself doesn't make you less hetero!

 

[Dark Octave]

Actually who here (that is gay) took what you said as a compliment?

Who took anything you have said as a compliment?

I'd say we're both 0 for 0, my friend.

 

[Mau ®]

I think people should be who they are. Not what they're expected to be. People assume a gay person is gonna act "gay". I find that more annoying than " make believe straight acting" gays.

I think the OP (like everybody else said) should frequent gay places. In public, most people are very guarded. And sadly, any kind of gay flirtation in public still gets weird looks, which discourages said acts. I find that even more annoying, c'mon people! hold hands, kiss each other. Make it a big loud statement.

Its very utopian of me to think that way but its just how I feel about it.

 

[krypt0nian]

Why? How? Gay people are more attractive to gay people and straights to straights. There's no problem and no better sexual orientation (outside passing the genes).

Also, why don't people accept stereotypes? I mean why the fuck you think some stereotypes are there? Most gay guys are effiminate and straight guys can easily see it. If most gay guys were not like that, the stereotype simply wouldn't exist!
Why are we offended by such stereotypes again? It's cool to be offended 2008? I'm so offended by the stereotype of straight guys acting straight man. I mean fuck, if you're one of those rarer straight guys looking effiminate you will need to live and accept the straight stereotype. And the stereotype itself doesn't make you less hetero!

You can cut out the It's cool to be offended 2008? nonsense.

I guess it was cool in the 60's not to want to be limited by black stereotypes too?

 

[Aselith]

What's the deal?
I've been single for about 2 years now, the only attention i've gotten all of this time has been from women, my mate says i'm selfish because i never respond to their advances (he's straight) - but it's just not what i'm looking for at all.
I've had girlfriends in the past, and i do feel attracted to women, but i'm not looking for any sort of relationship with one at all.
I'm straight acting, not bad looking, easy going etc, i'm not big on stuff like clubbing - and that kind of loud social life, i just don't understand what i'm doing wrong to not attract male attention?
i expect the usual cynical GAF flood of replies, but i'm genuinely concerned because i keep getting into these 'situations' with women, and absolutely zilch attention from other guys.

Sucks to be you. I've got dongs in my face 24-7.

Spoiler

Sucks for me also cause I'm straight

 

[Ace 8095]

Where I'm from everyone would think you're gay just from your pic. I don't know what the problem is.

 

[Tron 2.0]

Why? How? Gay people are more attractive to gay people and straights to straights. There's no problem and no better sexual orientation (outside passing the genes).

Also, why don't people accept stereotypes? I mean why the fuck you think some stereotypes are there? Most gay guys are effiminate and straight guys can easily see it. If most gay guys were not like that, the stereotype simply wouldn't exist!
Why are we offended by such stereotypes again? It's cool to be offended 2008? I'm so offended by the stereotype of straight guys acting straight man. I mean fuck, if you're one of those rarer straight guys looking effiminate you will need to live and accept the straight stereotype. And the stereotype itself doesn't make you less hetero!

You misunderstood my post. I was merely answering a question, not stating my opinion on the matter.

It was asked why it is considered offensive, and I responded with my understanding of why it is offensive. I didn't say that I find it offensive.

As to the why and the how, it's the etymology of the phrase in gay culture.

 

[Saint10118]

Who took anything you have said as a compliment?

I'd say we're both 0 for 0, my friend.

I'd say that if you came up to me and said I looked gay as fuck I'd say I would like to offer you a gay fuck to find out for yourself.

 

[Gaborn]

I think people should be who they are. Not what they're expected to be. People assume a gay person is gonna act "gay". I find that more annoying than " make believe straight acting" gays.

I think the OP (like everybody else said) should frequent gay places. In public, most people are very guarded. And sadly, any kind of gay flirtation in public still gets weird looks, which discourages said acts. I find that even more annoying, c'mon people! hold hands, kiss each other. Make it a big loud statement.

Its very utopian of me to think that way but its just how I feel about it.

Not to go too far off topic, but that reminds me of one of my favorite quotes by Theodor Seuss Geisel (Dr. Seuss, obviously)

Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.