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[BlazingDarkness]

chill out guys, i didn't mean anything offensive by the 'straight acting' thing, and i'm sure people (while recognizing the stereotypes that do exist) don't mean to be offensive either

i found two other not-so-old pics btw, but they're horrificly poserific so i'm afraid to post them :lol

 

[Dark Octave]

I'd say that if you came up to me and said I looked gay as fuck I'd say I would like to offer you a gay fuck to find out for yourself.

Well I did mention that I look good as fuck so I believe you on that, but sorry pal, Dark Octave don't swing that way.

 

[Tron 2.0]

chill out guys, i didn't mean anything offensive by the 'straight acting' thing, and i'm sure people (while recognizing the stereotypes that do exist) don't mean to be offensive either

i found two other not-so-old pics btw, but they're horrificly poserific so i'm afraid to post them :lol

I knew exactly what you meant as "straight acting" and I actually found it helpful in discussing your situation. If you hadn't included the information I'm sure you would have been asked anyway.

Unfortunately, a page has already been devoted to the semantics of the phrase.

 

[Saint10118]

Well I did mention that I look good as fuck so I believe you on that, but sorry pal, Dark Octave don't swing that way.

Wouldn't be looking at your face.

edit:

 

[Dark Octave]

Wouldn't be looking at your face.

:lol Your gay as fuck!

 

[Mau ®]

Not to go too far off topic, but that reminds me of one of my favorite quotes by Theodor Seuss Geisel (Dr. Seuss, obviously)

Thats a nice quote right there. Will write that down. Thanks!

 

[Love To Love You Baby]

It's probably annoying more than offensive because it denotes that gay people are specifically supposed to act one way and straight people another, usually that gay men take on feminine characteristics while straight men are more masculine. And it indicates that it's more desirable to act "straight" than gay.

It's a term widely used on personal sites, but has little connotation in the real world since I've met plenty of straight men that are very feminine and gay men who are very masculine. But it's the stereotype that the phrase connotes that is found offensive.

That's the most common way the term is critiqued, but I find it more insulting in the sense that it often has positive connotations. For example, the OP used it in a sentence meant to describe why he is datable ("I'm straight acting, not bad looking, easy going").

 

[fernoca]

i found two other not-so-old pics btw, but they're horrificly poserific so i'm afraid to post them :lol

Post..post..post..
The less clothes, the better..

 

[BlazingDarkness]

changed my mind, you can suffer my posing

Spoiler

no more greyscale, but still shit quality.

anyway, i've been considering taking up a course in the city centre, i've decided to go sometime this week and enroll, it'll give me an oppertunity to meet some people and get more comfortable doing so, so thanks for the input you did good GAF

 

[Kabuki Quantum Lover]

You'll do fine, buddy.

 

[HolyStar]

Try heading out to gay bars/clubs and get your friends to ser you up with someone. Post your progress daily.

And can you guys stop derailing the topic about arguments on acting gay and straight?

This could be a fun friend but no you guys have to argue about everything as if you "win" something on the internet.

 

[btkadams]

anyway, i've been considering taking up a course in the city centre, i've decided to go sometime this week and enroll, it'll give me an oppertunity to meet some people and get more comfortable doing so, so thanks for the input you did good GAF

i wish you the best of luck! just be yourself and have fun

 

[Mau ®]

I honestly dont see anything gay about you. But my gaydar only catches the obvious. And I wish I had a better one, because there's this guy in a marketing class I have who I am praying is actually gay. Ive been obssesing about it for a week :lol

 

[BlazingDarkness]

i wish you the best of luck! just be yourself and have fun

cheers
my friend was enrolling on the same course, she said i suggested i go along so it seems pretty ideal for me

 

[BlazingDarkness]

I honestly dont see anything gay about you. But my gaydar only catches the obvious. And I wish I had a better one, because there's this guy in a marketing class I have who I am praying is actually gay. Ive been obssesing about it for a week :lol

:lol
my 'gaydar' is messed too
there was this guy, i swear he used to give me 'the look' all the time, turns out he is a complete womanizer, and can talk about nothing else, :S

 

[fernoca]

changed my mind, you can suffer my posing
**PICS**
no more greyscale, but still shit quality.

anyway, i've been considering taking up a course in the city centre, i've decided to go sometime this week and enroll, it'll give me an oppertunity to meet some people and get more comfortable doing so, so thanks for the input you did good GAF

Hehe..you look good and cool....like straight from Final Fantasy or Kingdom Hearts.. ..and I don't mean that in an offensive way..

It may depend also on how you act, or reflect yourself..towards others..
Maybe some guys may get.."intimidated" or something..it happens. I know that if someone that looked like you was close to me, I wouldn't say any word, unless you talked to me first .. :lol ..aside me being uber shy..considering how you look and dress..I'll just think "Well, he looks too good for me, so why even bother talking to him, to then being rejected"..

You could talk to a few friends, and see how they see you..or the previous boyfriend, if you both still talk to each other..

 

[BlazingDarkness]

Hehe..you look good and cool....like straight from Final Fantasy or Kingdom Hearts.. ..and I don't mean that in an offensive way..

It may depend also on how you act, or reflect yourself..towards others..
Maybe some guys may get.."intimidated" or something..it happens. I know that if someone that looked like you was close to me, I wouldn't say any word, unless you talked to me first .. :lol ..aside me being uber shy..considering how you look and dress..I'll just think "Well, he looks too good for me, so why even bother talking to him, to then being rejected"..

You could talk to a few friends, and see how they see you..or the previous boyfriend, if you both still talk to each other..

yeah i see what you mean, i'm a quiet person generally, and back in my last college it took a while for me to settle with some people who i talked to a lot, i asked one of them what they thought of me, first impressions, and she said she did feel a bit intimidated, because i didn't say much, so she figured i didn't like her -_- I know i need to appear more friendly, 'cos i am, i think my initial shyness makes people think otherwise
but i'm sat here posting this kinda thing on a message board, it says everything about me :lol

 

[Dark Octave]

anyway, i've been considering taking up a course in the city centre, i've decided to go sometime this week and enroll, it'll give me an oppertunity to meet some people and get more comfortable doing so, so thanks for the input you did good GAF

Well, good luck to you man.

You seem like a real cool dude.

 

[Jado]

People have stereotypes inside them, shaped by many factors including what they commonly see in public or in the media. You shouldn't be offended nor surprised, unless people get in your face with offensive comments like "You're gay? GTFO. You don't act gay! LOL!"
At my job, I found out two guys were gay long after I met them. I was a bit surprised (not vocally of course), since I didn't initially realize it. No big deal.

There simply is a typical gay male stereotype that many people ( straight, gay, bi, etc) have in their minds. It doesn't help that the flamboyantly gay are sometimes the loudest and most visible part of the gay community to hetero folk. Don't hold it against a person that a stereotype may linger in the back of his head. As long as he's not acting on it and treating you poorly, right?

 

[Gaborn]

Thats a nice quote right there. Will write that down. Thanks!

You're welcome!

BlazingDarkness - You're a bit more emo than my taste but you're still very attractive, just keep at it and you'll find someone, just remember not to "settle" either, you can find a great guy.

 

[Mau ®]

yeah i see what you mean, i'm a quiet person generally, and back in my last college it took a while for me to settle with some people who i talked to a lot, i asked one of them what they thought of me, first impressions, and she said she did feel a bit intimidated, because i didn't say much, so she figured i didn't like her -_- I know i need to appear more friendly, 'cos i am, i think my initial shyness makes people think otherwise
but i'm sat here posting this kinda thing on a message board, it says everything about me :lol

Yeah happens to me too. I can be shy sometimes, which can be seen as arrogance. But Im not like that at all. I know this for a fact since most people who meet me tell me right away "You know, I thought you were really stuck up/elitist but you really arent!"

But only the few people that know me well know otherwise. And thats all that matters really.

 

[Ether_Snake]

Maybe it's the facial hair, consider getting rid of that?

 

[davepoobond]

changed my mind, you can suffer my posing

Spoiler

no more greyscale, but still shit quality.

anyway, i've been considering taking up a course in the city centre, i've decided to go sometime this week and enroll, it'll give me an oppertunity to meet some people and get more comfortable doing so, so thanks for the input you did good GAF

Josh Hartnett + Dave Navarro + Anime character = you

 

[Love To Love You Baby]

Maybe it's the facial hair, consider getting rid of that?

I don't think the issue is about what he looks like (clearly he's had body image issues in the past and recommending it are his looks that are the problem probably isn't going to do much good), it's about the fact that he seems to have rather low self-confidence and seems unwilling to put himself out there, especially in venues that involve a lot of gay dudes.

 

[Spiritreaver]

I know this was mentioned earlier but I never saw if it garnered any kind of response. I only scanned the thread, there was too much bullshit arguing from both sides. What's with the gay related threads tonight?

In any case, I suggest just being more open about your sexuality and being brave and taking a more active approach in finding someone. I'm not saying go out of your way to throw it out there on people, but at least have it out there. It helps when your friends know you're gay and have no qualms about it and talking about it around others, as it makes you a lot more comfortable with being yourself.

I went through the same thing. I'm gay, out, and open. However I don't really ever discuss my sexuality unless it's brought up. That on top of the fact that I'm very masculine in many ways I doubt any gay guys ever pick up on it. So i end up getting a lot of attention from girls, then when I break the news they just love me even more. :lol

That or you can try online dating. While I haven't had any luck there with relationships. I have had a ton of dates and made a lot of gay friends. Connections are great.

 

[castle007]

Poor Dark Octave :lol I don't see anything wrong with his comment.

The eyebrows and the smile give it away :lol :lol

 

[btkadams]

I know this was mentioned earlier but I never saw if it garnered any kind of response. I only scanned the thread, there was too much bullshit arguing from both sides. What's with the gay related threads tonight?

In any case, I suggest just being more open about your sexuality and being brave and taking a more active approach in finding someone. I'm not saying go out of your way to throw it out there on people, but at least have it out there. It helps when your friends know you're gay and have no qualms about it and talking about it around others, as it makes you a lot more comfortable with being yourself.

I went through the same thing. I'm gay, out, and open. However I don't really ever discuss my sexuality unless it's brought up. That on top of the fact that I'm very masculine in many ways I doubt any gay guys ever pick up on it. So i end up getting a lot of attention from girls, then when I break the news they just love me even more. :lol

That or you can try online dating. While I haven't had any luck there with relationships. I have had a ton of dates and made a lot of gay friends. Connections are great.

sure it reflects my first post a lot, but read this and feel safe Gay GAFfers. you are not alone, other people are just like you but just dont publicize it.

 

[B!TCH]

Most of the gay guys I'm friends with are fairly forward and are good about sending the right signals to guys they like. The ones who aren't meet guys online. They can always tell who is gay and who isn't so maybe your problem is you are uncomfortable with your sexuality.

 

[Spiritreaver]

They can always tell who is gay and who isn't so maybe your problem is you are uncomfortable with your sexuality.

This is a good point, and I'm gonna chime in once more before bed, lol.

It wasn't until I finally slept with a guy that I was completely sure I was gay. Sure, I had labeled myself it, and was pretty certain, but I had never really been with a guy so I was always iffy. I think this made it a lot harder for me to comfortably do things like check a guy out, or smile at a guy I thought was cute, let alone ask them out for a date.

I'm entirely different now. I'll check a guy out, stare him down, smile. No matter what he looks like, even if he's obviously straight. Although considering where I live, that's probably not the smartest thing to do. :lol

Not saying to go sleep with someone, but if you have any doubts really just throw them aside and go for it. It's tough, but it's just another hurdle in your way that you have to get over.

 

[Darkman M]

Hmm from your pics op you definitely look gay to me, maybe you're not looking in the right places.

 

[shintoki]

If its looks your worried about, You're definitely not ugly:lol Quite the opposite.

But as a few said, you just don't seem to be as open to the idea yet. So your nervous and uncomfortable with it. I know its a bit of an odd recommendation. But a Gay pride parade/party maybe the best option. The thing is, they are very open to both Gay and straight up couples. Its very easy actually to get into being comfortable there then lets say going to a Gay club or going through classes which can be a bit intimidating since its less "personal" and more in good fun. Its easy to brush off bad tries also since most are just there for fun.

 

[Terrell]

I don't see how this is uncommon. Gay men are, for the most part, arrogant uppity bitch-boys. Women, not so much.

It's not a fault of yours, it's just what comes with being a gay man in the 21st century. Start making the most of it. I'm a 7-year bachelor now, through very little fault of my own, so I've learned that when women are falling all over you, you pick the prettiest ones of the bunch and fawn over them to fill the romantic/emotional void (which is cool, so long as you completely establish that you're gay, they're typically OK with that). Then just find your sex with a cheap slut to fill that void, there's PLENTY of those in the gay world.

It's not exactly the same as a man to fill both needs, but it's a good solid stop-gap solution.

 

[Beezy]

What the fuck is going on with your hair?

 

[Instigator]

got no new ones, old webcam shall have to do

Need more body-piercing to increase the gay.

 

[Saint10118]

I don't see how this is uncommon. Gay men are, for the most part, arrogant uppity bitch-boys. Women, not so much.

It's not a fault of yours, it's just what comes with being a gay man in the 21st century. Start making the most of it. I'm a 7-year bachelor now, through very little fault of my own, so I've learned that when women are falling all over you, you pick the prettiest ones of the bunch and fawn over them to fill the romantic/emotional void (which is cool, so long as you completely establish that you're gay, they're typically OK with that). Then just find your sex with a cheap slut to fill that void, there's PLENTY of those in the gay world.

It's not exactly the same as a man to fill both needs, but it's a good solid stop-gap solution.

What the fuck is the matter with you?

The amount of ignorance in your post is nearly overwhelming and most certainly insulting to the OP and gay men in general. If you had even bothered to read this thread you would have found that we haven't been discussing a how-to guide for frivolous fucking (or that vapid lifestyle you describe above) but rather potential reasons why it seems that women are more attracted to him than men. Your advice to just have this straight life with a woman and find some "slut" to fuck is disgusting.

 

[JimiNutz]

You look like a character that walked out of a Final Fantasy game-do gay men like that? I thought that extremely metrosexual look only really attracted teenage/early 20s women and maybe Japanese women/men?

 

[Gaborn]

Need more body-piercing to increase the gay.

Not on a first date.

 

[Terrell]

What the fuck is the matter with you?

The amount of ignorance in your post is nearly overwhelming and most certainly insulting to the OP and gay men in general. If you had even bothered to read this thread you would have found that we haven't been discussing a how-to guide for frivolous fucking (or that vapid lifestyle you describe above) but rather potential reasons why it seems that women are more attracted to him than men. Your advice to just have this straight life with a woman and find some "slut" to fuck is disgusting.

Ignorance is based on a lack of understanding. I've been a gay man since the age of 15 (so about 12 years now), and what I describe isn't "living a straight life with a woman", it's filling an emotional connection that the majority of gay men simply aren't willing to provide, for whatever selfish reasons they can come up with to justify their own behavior. It's not to say they're ALL like that, but rather than waiting around and feeling unwanted while that mysterious creature appears before you, it's important to fill an emotional void that they seem unwilling to, and so long as a woman is able and willing to provide you with emotional support and guidance, what's the harm in that? It's not like you'd be sleeping with them, or stringing them along. You'd be friends, a nice strong bond based on emotional support that goes BOTH ways.
And denying the prevalence of the cheap lay in dating culture in general, leaving the homosexual subset out of it, is pretty ignorant in and of itself. There is a vast population of people who simply don't want a relationship and just have sex, that's all. I don't advocate this as a permanent alternative or anything, nor that anyone should become a slut themselves, so quit trying to label me as a deviant just because I'm playing with the only cards that some of us are dealt. Once again, I'M NOT SUGGESTING SEXUAL DEVIANCY, just that if you feel like you need sex, there's your alternative.

Better to be happy and content with good new friends who can be there to meet your emotional needs and have your carnal needs satiated as necessary, then to feel unwanted and rejected to the point where it permanently fucks up your self-esteem, like it seems to have just started with the OP.

But whatever, if you want people to stay feeling lonely, none of my concern really. Some people just want to keep others unhappy.

 

[The Elite]

I'll help you find men to date if you hook me up with some women. It will be like a sitcom or a Tom Cruise movie.

 

[fernoca]

I'll help you find men to date if you hook me up with some women. It will be like a sitcom or a Tom Cruise movie.

With a twist ending of you falling in love with Blazing, but hiding your feelings?

 

[Nolan.]

What's the deal?
I've been single for about 2 years now, the only attention i've gotten all of this time has been from women, my mate says i'm selfish because i never respond to their advances (he's straight) - but it's just not what i'm looking for at all.
I've had girlfriends in the past, and i do feel attracted to women, but i'm not looking for any sort of relationship with one at all.
I'm straight acting, not bad looking, easy going etc, i'm not big on stuff like clubbing - and that kind of loud social life, i just don't understand what i'm doing wrong to not attract male attention?
i expect the usual cynical GAF flood of replies, but i'm genuinely concerned because i keep getting into these 'situations' with women, and absolutely zilch attention from other guys.

Ugh, hate when people say this.

 

[BlazingDarkness]

What the fuck is going on with your hair?

length?

 

[BitchTits]

You have a twinky/emo/indie look, so wear your tightest t-shirt and head on down to your nearest gay or gay-friendly indie club night. You should find plenty of like-minded twinky/emo/indie kids that look like you. That is if that's what you're looking for.

 

[2 Minutes Turkish]

I only attract gay dudes. Let's trade.

I had that problem too.

But I use to go to a lot of gay bars back in my clubbing days. Better atmosphere in there.

edit: Wow, now that I've seen your photo, I can pinpoint the problem for you champ. You LOOK like you're trying to attract women. Shave your fucking head and stop looking like such a poser. Stupid women go for that shit all the time. Gay men are a little smarter than that.

I don't ever remember seeing ONE gay guy in clubs that looks like you. Only the sleazy heroes in straight clubs look like you dude.

 

[Pasco]

Jesus Christ.

If you look as good in real life as you do in those photos... Go somewhere where you know the majority of people are gay, walk up to a guy you like the look of and start talking.

Holy fuck, some people...

 

[RiskyChris]

I had that problem too.

But I use to go to a lot of gay bars back in my clubbing days. Better atmosphere in there.

edit: Wow, now that I've seen your photo, I can pinpoint the problem for you champ. You LOOK like you're trying to attract women. Shave your fucking head and stop looking like such a poser. Stupid women go for that shit all the time. Gay men are a little smarter than that.

I don't ever remember seeing ONE gay guy in clubs that looks like you. Only the sleazy heroes in straight clubs look like you dude.

What the fuck.

 

[Femmeworth]

Speaking as a straight man, you look fine, BlazingDarkness.

 

[Always-honest]

go to a...................... gay-bar..........

i'm sure they will give you all the attention you want

 

[2 Minutes Turkish]

What the fuck.

What?

The gay men I know are smarter than to go for a person that looks like such a fucking poser. The only people I know who do that are women.

 

[Crab Shaker]

I don't think the issue is about what he looks like (clearly he's had body image issues in the past and recommending it are his looks that are the problem probably isn't going to do much good), it's about the fact that he seems to have rather low self-confidence and seems unwilling to put himself out there, especially in venues that involve a lot of gay dudes.

This this this this this.


Also, "straight acting" is indeed annoying. Why the fuck are you "acting" straight? You got an audition or something you practicing for? You are yourself. Whether that person sounds effeminate or not is up to you, and you are free to control that, just do it for the right reasons. Example: Lowering your voice and using the word "bro" to fit in and give yourself the satisfaction because you are in denial about what you are is a bad reason. Watching a video of yourself and noticing that saying a particular word or phrase sounded really effeminate, which you thought was out of character for you and not attractive then deciding to change that, is a good reason. In my opinion anyways. The whole topic is really sensitive and there are gays who will freak out and get pissy about one thing and others who will think it's fine and shrug it off. This very post is probably going to irritate some people and they'll say, if that's how you're saying it, that's who you are. I disagree.

As for stereotypes, to deny them is to lie, no matter who you are. Being able to identify and seek gay guys out is in itself, stereotyping. But people do need to be more sensitive. "You look gay as fuck" is VERY insulting unless you are there in person and see that the person doesn't care about being flamboyant, which doesn't seem to be the case with the OP. There are all types of gay men. You'd probably shit yourself if you knew how many college and pro football players liked a willy in their dilly.