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[diunxx]

But he would be drunk.

 

[Blader]

No offense, but how did you go through 29 years of life without any contact with a woman? Didn't you go to school or have a job?

 

[WrathOfOtaibah]

I'd seek therapy first and foremost.

A 29 year old virgin is an extreme outlier. I'm not sure that advice one would dish out to a "late bloomer" (age 18-21) is adequate or helpful.

 

[C.Dark.DN]

We need to see a picture.

 

[Combine]

Ok, back for a bit. Wow, thanks for all the inspirational and thoughtful replies. Especially to (but not limited to): FunkyPajamas, soultron, RevenantKioku.

To Blader: Well, let me try to answer that briefly. Yes I have had contact with girls at work/school/etc. It's just been that, in those settings, when your focused solely on work, there's nothing really "social" about it. As for why nothing ever developed, well, I did mention I was a complete idiot.

Experiment: Yeah, I'm giving that thought and it would be likely to happen. Again, I just wanted to see what I could learn from here. Yeah, probably not the best thought I've had.

 

[diunxx]

to be honest the best therapy he could get is fucking a hooker, you will fell a lot more confident after that little detail is out of the way.

 

[WasteLand Soldier]

i too vote for a pic. oh. skip the hooker advice and just tap an older chick or a thick chick. free and somewhat easy due to the whole confidence thing for the most part.

 

[Jea Song]

Women like a confident man. They like men who stand up for whats right and noble. Some like a man with assets. A house, a car, and a good job. They want to feel secure and protected. Young girls seem to view older men as GODS. But some are immature, and don't really understand what they want in a man.

Chemistry. It's about chemistry. Some will sacrifice EVERYTHING I listed above if they can be happy with a man's personality.

I have been told this from a woman that has been with over 90 men in her life, btw.

 

[Max@GC]

No offense, but how did you go through 29 years of life without any contact with a woman? Didn't you go to school or have a job?

When you live in a small and conservative town and be more of an alternative/unconventional outsider who rather likes to hang with his few best soulmates than the mostly superficial party crowd than it´s not that hard to achieve - imo.

 

[Blader]

To Blader: Well, let me try to answer that briefly. Yes I have had contact with girls at work/school/etc. It's just been that, in those settings, when your focused solely on work, there's nothing really "social" about it. As for why nothing ever developed, well, I did mention I was a complete idiot.

Really? Personally, I've always found it a lot more easier and natural to meet and to get know girls if we go to class together or work together.

 

[diunxx]

When you live in a small and conservative town and be more of an alternative/unconventional outsider who rather likes to hang with his few best soulmates than the mostly superficial party crowd than it´s not that hard to achieve - imo.

lol, 90% of the women I have met are superficial one way or another, is just something that most people have to deal with.

 

[Combine]

Really? Personally, I've always found it a lot more easier and natural to meet and to get know girls if we go to class together or work together.

Yeah, I guess I was able to "meet" them. But the whole "getting to know" part is where I perform with massive fail. I dunno what it is. I think someone noted I spend too much time overthinking things to the point where I say nothing. I'm not good at impromptu conversations.

 

[Fersis]

Damn OP you sound like me, and thats not a good thing

If i could give you an advice it would be :
-Dont think on coworkers.
-If you are interested on a girl, be yourself. (Sounds like a cliche but its true)
-Define your 'target', do you want a party girl? a one night stand? a meaningful relationship?. Every type of girl its a different 'scenario'.
-Be ready to suffer.

 

[fistfulofmetal]

i'm probably gonna be in the same position in 8 years. oh well.

 

[soultron]

i'm probably gonna be in the same position in 8 years. oh well.

FTS. Defeatist attitude means you've already lost. Man up and change, lest you want to fulfil the prophecy you've laid out just now.

 

[Combine]

-Be ready to suffer.

Yeah, I've read enough stories (especially on Dating-Age) to know that I'm in for massive amounts of pain. I think that was what probably one of the deterrents that caused this whole situation to begin with and didn't feel it was worth it (being a coward basically).

But now well, the only pain that would truly scare me is the thought that one day I will end up truly alone (at least I have my family at the moment).

 

[Alucrid]

FTS. Defeatist attitude means you've already lost. Man up and change, lest you want to fulfil the prophecy you've laid out just now.

This. It's never too late to change or too early to start.

 

[Max@GC]

lol, 90% of the women I have met are superficial one way or another, is just something that most people have to deal with.

To a certain extent, yes.

 

[Jea Song]

just a question, but do you lack confidence? And if you do why? Does it have to do with looks? personality? Money? What is keeping you from talking to women.

 

[Combine]

i'm probably gonna be in the same position in 8 years. oh well.

Please no. It sounds hypocritical for me to say. But I'd say it if I had the opportunity to go back 8 years and strangle my former self. You don't want to end up like me.

Workout and get in shape. It's given me a little confidence, I imagine at your age, it may well do wonders, hopefully.

just a question, but do you lack confidence? And if you do why? Does it have to do with looks? personality? Money? What is keeping you from talking to women.

Yeah, it's most likely been a confidence thing. Especially up until a year ago before I even started to get in shape and was a fat slug. Now, I'm not so fat, not strong yet either, but at least I'm 5'11" and down to 165lbs (as opposed to the same height and close to 200lbs before starting. No muscle mass at all back then either).

But now, it's primarily me having no experience at my age and fearing how women would react to that.

EDIT: Argh, have to go offline again. Thanks once more for all the kind responses.

 

[Fersis]

Yeah, I've read enough stories (especially on Dating-Age) to know that I'm in for massive amounts of pain. I think that was what probably one of the deterrents that caused this whole situation to begin with and didn't feel it was worth it.

But now well, the only pain that would truly scare me is the thought that one day I will end up truly alone (at least I have my family at the moment).

Yeah one thing is to hear about pain another thing is to feel it and to inflict it.
The key thing its to not look back. Never look back, nostalgia can destroy you my friend.

I wish you the best of lucks. I know that i will walk the same road as you, as from now on i respect you as a friend.
Cheers mate.

 

[WrathOfOtaibah]

If Combine just wanted sex, he would have paid for a hooker a long time ago, I suspect.

Experiment: Yeah, I'm giving that thought and it would be likely to happen. Again, I just wanted to see what I could learn from here. Yeah, probably not the best thought I've had.

I'm not being a dick when I say that. A lot of the advice here seems to be aimed at younger guys who are playing catch up (18-21). 29 years old is in a different league and if there are underlying issues, you'll probably find yourself at square one often because then the problem isn't just limited to a lack of confidence.

People seem to be fixated here on the surface issues for whatever reason, which is why most of them think getting a hooker and "loosening up" with alcohol is the answer. I lost my virginity at age 19 but I was drunk with friends (that included females!) dozens of times prior. Nothing ever happened because alcohol is a surface issue.

 

[fistfulofmetal]

FTS. Defeatist attitude means you've already lost. Man up and change, lest you want to fulfil the prophecy you've laid out just now.

eh

 

[demon]

Really? Personally, I've always found it a lot more easier and natural to meet and to get know girls if we go to class together or work together.

I find it hard to "meet" girls at work. And by "meet" I mean meet, get to know, get together outside of work and then escalate to something more than "hanging out". I rarely get past step 1, and never get past step 2. I, like the OP suck at talking to girls, and I find it hard to just be myself and show any interest in a girl in a workplace environment. Because if shit gets ugly who knows what will happen and who will find out. Plus it sucks when there are like three cute girls in your entire company, compared to the hundreds/thousands when you were in college.


I dunno man. If you can pull yourself out of that rut at 29, tell me how you did it. I'm done pretending it's gonna happen "any day now". I don't need anyone to tell me I've got deeper underyling issues that need to be worked out-if that's even possible- before I can ever jump into this world.

 

[Rayo]

have you considered prostitution? maybe what you seek right now can be let out through some strictly sexual relationships

 

[Jea Song]

Please no. It sounds hypocritical for me to say. But I'd say it if I had the opportunity to go back 8 years and strangle my former self. You don't want to end up like me.

Workout and get in shape. It's given me a little confidence, I imagine at your age, it may well do wonders, hopefully.

Yeah, it's most likely been a confidence thing. Especially up until a year ago before I even started to get in shape and was a fat slug. Now, I'm not so fat, not strong yet either, but at least I'm 5'11" and down to 165lbs (as opposed to the same height and close to 200lbs before starting. No muscle mass at all back then either).

But now, it's primarily me having no experience at my age and fearing how women would react to that.

EDIT: Argh, have to go offline again. Thanks once more for all the kind responses.

Here's what you can do. First, you could scout around. Buy like 3 nice button long sleeves shirts, and some nice pants. Always smell nice, and look the sharpest you possibly can. Some colonge and whiten of the teeth doesnt hurt.

Try and smile alot. Women like men, who are free. Where they dont seem to have a problem in the world. They will want to know, " why is this man always smiling"? he must enjoy life. Know yourself. A smile means confidence. Be nice but not to nice, or else it might seem "gay".

If you do these things, and try asking out 100 women.
1 is bound to bite.

As long as you keep trying, the odds get better. Eventually you will get a girl, and if scoring is what you want, you will get.

 

[Label]

I once tried to use eHarmony and it said I was unmatchable... :lol..

 

[Armitage]

You're basically fucked. Buy a Real Doll.

Wait. YOU'RE giving dating advice?

 

[Zeliard]

If you want a boost in confidence, getting in shape is a good start. It won't guarantee a ticket to vaginaville, but it will make you feel better about yourself, which will help in the long run.

Listen to this man.

 

[Beezy]

OP, why don't you like to drink?

 

[ThLunarian]

Take ballroom dancing classes at Arthur Murray, and tell your instructor exactly what you posted on here.

Most of the single people who take dancing lessons are women, and your instructor will make absolutely SURE that you dance with every single one of them at the weekly parties. Even if you don't hook up with them, you'll be forced to interact for a minute and a half, which is like turbo speed dating, and then if you hit it off you can always stick around for the next dance, or even just to talk.

There are also regular group classes where partners are switched frequently, which is another great way to interact with women in a more structured environment, if you're not quite comfortable going to the parties each week.

Either way, if you can afford it, Arthur Murray is the best place in the world to go for social coaching on how to interact with women. And that's not even taking into account the possibility that you might actually get GOOD and be able to use your moves elsewhere.

Trust me on this, and don't go to other dance studios, because as far as I know, Arthur Murray is the only one that actually focuses on the social aspect of dancing, instead of just the mechanics.

 

[grap3fruitman]

This. It's never too late to change or too early to start.

Yes it is.

 

[soultron]

Yes it is.

The longer you wait, the harder you have to work. Start now and work less than you will have to if you decide to start next year.

You're wasting your time moping around.

 

[ForzaItalia]

I have been told this from a woman that has been with over 90 men in her life, btw.

Like throwing a hot dog down a hallway...all the more reason to love tight teens...

 

[Terrascape]

How about going out with friends (male or female) and listening to people interact and try to blend in? It doesn't have to be at a bar, disco/club, whatever, it could be at a friend's place, or just a quick lunch out or just a regular get-together.

If friends aren't an option (no friends, no friends your age, in a different country, etc), why not take an extra-curricular activity which will involve interacting with people? I don't know, painting, photography classes, movie club, something like that. You never know when you're going to meet people, and I would advise you to keep in mind that not every person you meet has to be a potential date. Most of the girls I've dated I met them through mutual friends, so the more friends you have, the more chances you have of eventually meeting somebody you want to go out with on a date.

Hope that helps

THIIIIS THIS THIS THIS THIS
...

THIS

 

[Beardz]

Do you have friends? It's easier with friends, if you don't... well, then get some friends first.

 

[-COOLIO-]

BE. NICE. GAF.

Is it me, or have you guys become more rough lately? :lol

women are the one thing that almost every guy is at least a little self conscious about. that's why everyone likes to be so cocky about it.

as for the OP. try a kinkier dating site?

 

[djtiesto]

Take up Christianity... you can meet plenty of 29 year old virgin females at church...

 

[soundahfekz]

Did you read the OP?

Dear OP, you're asking one of the geekiest internet forums for dating advice, on a Friday night. Do you think the responses you'll get will be from people who know what they're talking about?

I'm in a similar situation, however not quite your age (22), and I've been asking the internet for advice for several years. Can you tell I'm bitter?

Just because you don't know what you're doing doesn't mean we don't

 

[Alfarif]

Dude....being a man-whore gets old after awhile. When you find the right girl, you'll think settling down is the best decision you made in your life.

Sex with girls:Awesome
Sex with the one you love: HOLY FUCKING FANTASTIC!

Ask anyone on married GAF.

This man knows what he's saying. My wife must be laced with opium or something, because the shit she does in bed... GOD DAYUM.

 

[Jasoco]

I'm in the same situation as the OP, except I'm almost 30 and not a virgin but only because of a blind date with a misguided young girl who saw an advantage. Mid-2006 I woke up one day and realized I had wasted a quarter of a century and hadn't lived a day in my life.

After a few missteps, some blind dates that didn't go anywhere (If you don't count that one.), I've come to realize that I just do not know how to talk to girls. Except as friends. But by the time I get around to asking them out, it's either too late (Three years for one), or I find out they have a boyfriend of course (The good ones ALL DO.) or we've entered the FRIEND ZONE, or worse, they disappear before I can ask them out never to be seen again. I'm just unlucky like that. My lack of experience has made me a nervous self-aware overthinking former xenophobe that just can't catch a break.

In 2003 I pushed away the one girl who showed any interest in me at all, even after somehow missing all of the fucking blatant signs. (Like the notes she left me at work that said "Hi, Jason! You're cute! Have fun!")

2006 made the mistake of telling the girl who was my best friend at work how I had secretly felt about her for almost 4 years (Think Jim Halpert at the end of season 2) and having it backfire.

Same year tried to rebound on another friend who I hadn't seen in 13 years who came back into my life only to find out we were pretty much the same person, but because of my inexperience and lack of confidence and fear of disappointment, I fucked it up, using only text messages to convey my feelings instead of using my fucking words in person. (Almost ruined our friendship, which will probably never mend completely)

The next year was the blind date with the horny girl which was just a big mistake since she was troubled and we never were able to get back together again as she kept jumping from house to house and number to number.

And the year after that was the last and only real date I had ever been on, which never resulted in subsequent dates because she decided to spend all her time helping her grandmother. The worse part, she's overweight. I got turned down by a fucking fat girl.

I have now typed a whole bunch of shit. Great.

Actually, today I met a girl at work who is really nice. We have a lot in common. Except that she has a boyfriend. She said they met through a blind date and hit it off. I have many friends. Many friends. But none of them will set me up except the one who set me up with the two girls I've ever gone out with and has now run out of eligible people to set me up with.

My life has pretty much been one wrong choice after another.

 

[Mr. Spinnington]

Read books about dating, gain confidence, yadda yadda. Just talk to girls who seem interesting and get to know them better. After hanging out for a couple of hours, go in and try and kiss her. If she isn't into it, then be friends. If so then make out with her for a bit. Then move your hand in areas like her boobs or her vagina but only after your kissing becomes intense like (kissing in the ear, the neck, slobbering tongues, etc). If she goes for it, lift up her shirt and then start sucking on her breasts and then proceed to have sex with her. There you go. That is how you get laid.

you just jumped up into place of my favorite poster

for a long time

 

[SpeedingUptoStop]

Turn your swag on. Become the Swagtacular Swagtician you were born to be.

 

[Trigunner]

to be honest the best therapy he could get is fucking a hooker

Nah, he's a virgin, so ignorance is bliss. What'll happen if his hand doesn't do it for him anymore and he still can't find someone? If he doesn't have any self control, all his income will go to escorts.

 

[DeadFalling]

I'm 17 and have the same problem, except I would drink if I could but I'm far too young to buy anything... I'm even in college FFS and never even kissed a girl.

 

[SRG01]

You can't date effectively unless you're willing to fall, but fall forward. Make no mistake: you'll have more bad dates and experiences than you'll ever imagine before you can actually find someone you have chemistry with.

You're 29? You can start taking girls who're 25-27 on dates. You're not too old until your body tells you that you are, or you simply throw in the towel and think you are "old."

Start reading up some books, go to the gym, spice up your wardrobe, and so on. Start getting out there by playing pick up and coed sports, perhaps, just so that you can tighten up your general social skills. You might be able to meet women through the friends you make there.

You've got a year's worth of work, maybe more or less, ahead of you, but you can get there if you want it and are diligent about things.

Listen to the heroic member. He knows what's going on.

Women like a confident man. They like men who stand up for whats right and noble. Some like a man with assets. A house, a car, and a good job. They want to feel secure and protected. Young girls seem to view older men as GODS. But some are immature, and don't really understand what they want in a man.

Chemistry. It's about chemistry. Some will sacrifice EVERYTHING I listed above if they can be happy with a man's personality.

I have been told this from a woman that has been with over 90 men in her life, btw.

I don't agree with the first paragraph, but the part about chemistry is key for many many girls. Some know that chemistry takes time, some expect it to be there immediately. But either way, a good connection is vital to finding someone.

 

[tuco11]

Go read a book called Secrets of the "A" game .. or something like that. It will at least help your confidence.

 

[SRG01]

Take ballroom dancing classes at Arthur Murray, and tell your instructor exactly what you posted on here.

Most of the single people who take dancing lessons are women, and your instructor will make absolutely SURE that you dance with every single one of them at the weekly parties. Even if you don't hook up with them, you'll be forced to interact for a minute and a half, which is like turbo speed dating, and then if you hit it off you can always stick around for the next dance, or even just to talk.

There are also regular group classes where partners are switched frequently, which is another great way to interact with women in a more structured environment, if you're not quite comfortable going to the parties each week.

Either way, if you can afford it, Arthur Murray is the best place in the world to go for social coaching on how to interact with women. And that's not even taking into account the possibility that you might actually get GOOD and be able to use your moves elsewhere.

Trust me on this, and don't go to other dance studios, because as far as I know, Arthur Murray is the only one that actually focuses on the social aspect of dancing, instead of just the mechanics.

I actually disagree with this. There are a lot of guys who take ballroom dancing lessons to meet women or to improve their social skills. It never turns out well, since there has to be some prerequisite social skill beforehand.

IMO, ballroom dancing should be a complement to your social skills. If you can talk to women, but have trouble approaching them, then it's good. If you can't talk to them at all, then that's bad.

 

[red shoe paul]

I agree. My main piece of advice is to get in shape, because that can really make a massive difference in your confidence. Don't let anyone in this thread discourage you.

Also dress nice.

 

[Alucrid]

I'm 17 and have the same problem, except I would drink if I could but I'm far too young to buy anything... I'm even in college FFS and never even kissed a girl.

You're in college...alcohol is an easy thing to come by. As far as if that'll help, maybe, if the other party has had some too. :lol

Edit: Wait, you aren't British are you? Otherwise I have no clue since college = our high school and university = our college or something like that.