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[RevenWolf]

I always hear that the gym is the solution to everything, that you go to the gym and it'll magically make you feel better. But I have never once felt better after I went to the gym. It just makes me feel sore and exhausted and miserable.

Not necessarily the gym but any exercise. You have to keep at it and after a short while those exercises/fitness training (whatever you choose) starts releasing chemicals which liferally make you feel better.

This feeling is both emotional and physical, I now come out of exercises with a smile on my face and my body literally feeling amazing despite my arms or legs trembling from the exertion.

If you want the benefits, all you need is the commitment to do it a few times a week and you'll immediately start noticing how your body reacts differently.

 

[Escape Goat]

I don't get what hitting the gym has to do with breaking up with someone

Part making the ex jealous when you get swole

Part improving your mental state by providing focus and endorphins

 

[GasProblem]

Hmm, tried it once, but I was kind of lost. Didn't know what exercises to focus on. Got a schedule from the gym and it was a mix of cardio and machines. I wanted to try weight lifting but it was always busy at the weight lifting section and had no idea what to do or who to ask. I was a bit intimidated.

Right now I run in the park every other day, about 2.5 miles, and trying to run longer. I really enjoy it. Spotting birds, enjoying the views, being exposed to the elements. I wish I could do swimming as well, but there are no gyms with indoor pools here. The closest pool is 25 minutes away on bike and only has swimming for fitness at like 7 am.

Maybe I should buy some weights and slowly get into it and then try the gym again with a bit more confidence.

I really enjoyed tennis as a kid. I quit because there were some shitty kids at my tennis club who bullied me and I never picked it up again. I want to pick it up again someday. Tennis or squash.

 

[Weckum]

Part making the ex jealous when you get swole

Part improving your mental state by providing focus and endorphins

This. Part showing her 'this is what you gave up', part of it is getting back into a normal day rhythm and getting control over your life.

And you're gonna look good and be confident for when you get back into the game.

 

[RevenWolf]

Hmm, tried it once, but I was kind of lost. Didn't know what exercises to focus on. Got a schedule from the gym and it was a mix of cardio and machines. I wanted to try weight lifting but it was always busy at the weight lifting section and had no idea what to do or who to ask. I was a bit intimidated.

Right now I run in the park every other day, about 2.5 miles, and trying to run longer. I really enjoy it. Spotting birds, enjoying the views, being exposed to the elements. I wish I could do swimming as well, but there are no gyms with indoor pools here. The closest pool is 25 minutes away on bike and only has swimming for fitness at like 7 am.

Maybe I should buy some weights and slowly get into it and then try the gym again with a bit more confidence.

I really enjoyed tennis as a kid. I quit because there were some shitty kids at my tennis club who bullied me and I never picked it up again. I want to pick it up again someday. Tennis or squash.

Tennis or squash are both really fun and you should definitely try again!

With the gym comments it's often best to get a buddy that knows how everything works and already has a runtime to show you.

If that's not an option hiring a personal trainer for only a couple of sessions can do wonders as you learn the equipment and develop a routine to follow.

 

[Podge293]

This. Part showing her 'this is what you gave up', part of it is getting back into a normal day rhythm and getting control over your life.

And you're gonna look good and be confident for when you get back into the game.

Never understood that approach. She didn't give up the "hot" you. You most likely never would have done that had she stayed with you baring some other drastic change.

 

[shoreu]

gym's are full of self obsessed sted heads

get a bike

This is the best attempt at the "pretentious cyclist" stereotype I've ever seen, bravo.



Luckily I work from sunrise to sunset. I'm actually in the gym right now haha. I prefer training at night.

I miss summer, when I'd still have an hour or two of sunlight after work

 

[bananafactory]

Part making the ex jealous when you get swole

Part improving your mental state by providing focus and endorphins

The second part makes sense, I suppose. The first one sounds like a very unhealthy attitude for someone who's trying to move on

 

[Stinkles]

gyms are expensive.

(Chain) Gyms are among the most corrupt and unethical businesses in America. They have worse customer and consumer reports than car dealerships.

 

[Lashley]

I've tried the gym 3 times

Each time my anxiety is too much and I end up quitting

feels bad man, I just jog now

 

[RevenWolf]

The second part makes sense, I suppose. The first one sounds like a very unhealthy attitude for someone who's trying to move on

Honestly I think the first half stems from certain peoples own goals.

If you go in with a goal that you have to achieve, you find yourself pushing harder and more dedicated to reach it.

Whether that goal is healthy is another matter clearly lol.

 

[freethoughtbubble]

Substitute "hit the gym" with "work out" and/or "eat healthier" and I agree 110 percent. It rebuilds confidence and just plain feels awesome. As long as you don't do it obsessively to avoid actually having to deal with your emotions.

 

[Weckum]

Never understood that approach. She didn't give up the "hot" you. You most likely never would have done that had she stayed with you baring some other drastic change.

I know and most people know this.

Unless she tells you 'hey, it's because you look disgusting' it's not the reason she broke up with you. Still, in the back of your mind it's a nice way of saying 'fuck you, I'm better now than I was before'. It's a way of showing the breakup isn't getting to you (even tho it is obviously). Maybe that's a better way of saying it.

And like I said, there's all the other reasons as well of course.

 

[xDUMPWEEDx]

But what if you were already going to gym regularly? What now, lock yourself in there?

 

[RevenWolf]

Substitute "hit the gym" with "work out" and/or "eat healthier" and I agree 110 percent. It rebuilds confidence and just plain feels awesome. As long as you don't do it obsessively to avoid actually having to deal with your emotions.

Well said, it should be used to help cope with emotions, not to ignore them.

 

[MadSexual]

Not necessarily the gym but any exercise. You have to keep at it and after a short while those exercises/fitness training (whatever you choose) starts releasing chemicals which liferally make you feel better.

This feeling is both emotional and physical, I now come out of exercises with a smile on my face and my body literally feeling amazing despite my arms or legs trembling from the exertion.

If you want the benefits, all you need is the commitment to do it a few times a week and you'll immediately start noticing how your body reacts differently.

I've never had a problem with the initial soreness after beginning a regimen, but I think the chemical satisfaction part is highly overblown. Yes, you quickly get to a point where you feel good after a workout and it stops wearing you down, but it's about on the level of a refreshing shower. Not some opiate high that passionate lifters unintentionally make it out to be. Hardly life changing.

 

[KmA]

While I agree that fitness in general is important, telling a person to start being active when they are in such a vulnerable state is dismissive and silly. Telling people to incorporate fitness into their lifestyle is good advice but saying that directly after a breakup?

I think in general men are pretty bad listeners (I'm assuming most posters in here are men) lmao. Like when you hear about someone else's problems, I've noticed men try to give solutions. That's not the point of listening, you're just letting your friend vent. Offering solutions comes later.

 

[Lonely1]

Not necessarily the gym but any exercise. You have to keep at it and after a short while those exercises/fitness training (whatever you choose) starts releasing chemicals which liferally make you feel better.

This feeling is both emotional and physical, I now come out of exercises with a smile on my face and my body literally feeling amazing despite my arms or legs trembling from the exertion.

If you want the benefits, all you need is the commitment to do it a few times a week and you'll immediately start noticing how your body reacts differently.

I'm not saying that "exercise high" isn't a thing. But I have been doing abs since I was a teen. Lifting weights for about a year now. Running on an elliptic machine for six months and I bought a bicycle last week. I have never once felt good after exercise, only sore. I keep doing it because "is the right thing to do", but I really envy all the people that seem to get great joy from it.

 

[RevenWolf]

I've never had a problem with the initial soreness after beginning a regimen, but I think the chemical satisfaction part is highly overblown. Yes, you quickly get to a point where you feel good after a workout and it stops wearing you down, but it's about on the level of a refreshing shower. Not some opiate high that passionate lifters unintentionally make it out to be. Hardly life changing.

I have to disagree, on a great session it can literally be the best feeling I have all day.

When someone mentions how good it feels I totally get it.

 

[TheGreyHulk]

When me and my longtime gf broke up, i hit the gym. I called ot gym therapy. We have a kid and lived together at the time so i would get off work and see my kid then hit the gym so i wouldnt have to see her. It helped release stress, that's for sure.

Exercise is great for reducing stress so it's a good aide for dealing with being down.

 

[RevenWolf]

I'm not saying that "exercise high" isn't a thing. But I have been doing abs since I was a teen. Lifting weights for about a year now. Running on an elliptic machine for six months and I bought a bicycle last week. I have never once felt good after exercise, only sore. I keep doing it because "is the right thing to do", but I really envy all the people that seem to get great joy from it.

Oh well that sucks I'm sorry to hear that!

All I can say is that personally I do get that "high" and I'm sorry you don't but good for you, that takes insane dedication to do!

 

[MadSexual]

I'm not saying that "exercise high" isn't a thing. But I have been doing abs since I was a teen. Lifting weights for about a year now. Running on an elliptic machine for six months and I bought a bicycle last week. I have never once felt good after exercise, only sore. I keep doing it because "is the right thing to do", but I really envy all the people that seem to get great joy from it.

That really must take some determination. I've never really gotten it either and it leads to me quitting all together, even after several months. It just doesn't seem worth my time at all.

 

[jph139]

It always sounds very evangelical. Any attempt to make someone "see the light" IS going to turn people off, particularly when they're not in the mood to be talked down to. Particularly when you're trying to be objective about something they consider subjective.

Grieving or depressed people do not want, like, a fucking "Jesus loves you!" pamphlet. "Hit the gym" is a forum equivalent.

 

[Imp the Dimp]

It always sounds very evangelical. Any attempt to make someone "see the light" IS going to turn people off, particularly when they're not in the mood to be talked down to. Particularly when you're trying to be objective about something they consider subjective.

Grieving or depressed people do not want, like, a fucking "Jesus loves you!" pamphlet. "Hit the gym" is a forum equivalent.

Why is that relevant? People ask for advice, they get it. If they don't like what they're hearing because it includes physical exertion or exposing themselves to people in a gym or wherever, there's only so much one can do. Your religion jab is unnecessary and inaccurate because unlike the contents of religious pamphlets, the positive effect of fitness is not up for debate. Also, no point refering to other heartbroken people - I reckon the majority of gym goers started working out because of some sort of disappointment. We are certainly not talking out of our asses when we advice heartbroken users to start exercising. It 100% worked for me, studies suggest it will work for a lot of others as well.

 

[gutshot]

I'm not saying that "exercise high" isn't a thing. But I have been doing abs since I was a teen. Lifting weights for about a year now. Running on an elliptic machine for six months and I bought a bicycle last week. I have never once felt good after exercise, only sore. I keep doing it because "is the right thing to do", but I really envy all the people that seem to get great joy from it.

Same here. I always come out of workouts feeling weak and sore. Never once have I had anything approaching a "high". The only motivating factor for me is doing it because I know it is good for me. And if you stick with it enough your body looks better. That generally isn't enough to keep me motivated long so I usually end up quitting after a couple months. Only for the cycle to repeat itself at some point down the road.

 

[Extra Sauce]

im really glad to know everyone who's responded to me saying no is from the exact same part of the world as me.

It's like people calling you out for talking shit about Netflix's poor selection.

I think some Americans believe the Internet and the United States are the same thing.

 

[Aizo]

In what world are gyms expensive?

Japan, for one. They are horribly expensive here.

 

[Weckum]

Same here. I always come out of workouts feeling weak and sore. Never once have I had anything approaching a "high". The only motivating factor for me is doing it because I know it is good for me. And if you stick with it enough your body looks better. That generally isn't enough to keep me motivated long so I usually end up quitting after a couple months. Only for the cycle to repeat itself at some point down the road.

I was super frustrated because of things that happened the last few days. Every single time after my workout I felt a lot better, mentally.

 

[riotous]

You can't break a swole heart.

 

[jph139]

Why is that relevant? People ask for advice, they get it. If they don't like what they're hearing because it includes physical exertion or exposing themselves to people in a gym or wherever, there's only so much one can do. Your religion jab is unnecessary and inaccurate because unlike the contents of religious pamphlets, the positive effect of fitness is not up for debate. Also, no point refering to other heartbroken people - I reckon the majority of gym goers started working out because of some sort of disappointment. We are certainly not talking out of our asses when we advice heartbroken users to start exercising. It 100% worked for me, studies suggest it will work for a lot of others as well.

I mean, say that to a guy handing out "Jesus loves you!" pamphlets. Generally speaking they're pretty certain of the benefits.

I understand the benefits of exercise, I lifted weights for a while, went on runs, but I found that the pros are not worth the cons when it comes to dedicated workouts. People value different things.

Personally I think going to the gym is worth about as much as going to church - good for you if it helps, gives your life meaning, whatever. But it's pretty thickheaded to try to convert the unwashed.

 

[gnexus]

I hit the gym when I'm lonely because I realize there's hundreds of other sexy fish in the sea. All of whom want nothing to do with me.

It still helps though.

 

[MattKeil]

(Chain) Gyms are among the most corrupt and unethical businesses in America. They have worse customer and consumer reports than car dealerships.

Can confirm.

Source: Worked operations at the most profitable 24 Hour Fitness location in the country for a year. I actually had a pretty good time doing it but I learned all the tricks of the sales trade and, uh, wow.

 

[Sakura]

I can't afford to go to a gym but I do workout at home. It doesn't help me feel any better though.

 

[keffri]

Rather than hit the gym, the advice can be read as simply exercise and work out. I have terrible anxiety around gyms, I'm much more comfortable exsercising in my home or outdoors.

This.

Going to the gym isn't the only way to get exercise.

 

[RevenWolf]

I mean, say that to a guy handing out "Jesus loves you!" pamphlets. Generally speaking they're pretty certain of it.

I understand the benefits of exercise, I lifted weights for a while, went on runs, but I found that the pros are not worth the cons when it comes to dedicated workouts. People value different things.

Personally I think going to the gym is worth about as much as going to church - good for you if it helps, gives your life meaning, whatever. But it's pretty thickheaded to try to convert the unwashed.

Speaking as a catholic, yeah no.

Fitness isn't a "it might work for you". It has universal benefits that have been empirically proven time and again.

The fact you weighed the cons as heavier in no way changes reality. just like if I chose to eat nothing but deep fried cheese for every meal because I felt the taste outweighed the con.

That wouldn't change the fact that I would get fatter, get higher cholesterol and eventually die. Empirical data does not care about your weighing of cons.

 

[gutshot]

I was super frustrated because of things that happened the last few days. Every single time after my workout I felt a lot better, mentally.

I can definitely see how exercise could "clear your head", so to speak. I don't really stress out about things though.

 

[Shamrock7r]

I mean, say that to a guy handing out "Jesus loves you!" pamphlets. Generally speaking they're pretty certain of the benefits.

I understand the benefits of exercise, I lifted weights for a while, went on runs, but I found that the pros are not worth the cons when it comes to dedicated workouts. People value different things.

Personally I think going to the gym is worth about as much as going to church - good for you if it helps, gives your life meaning, whatever. But it's pretty thickheaded to try to convert the unwashed.

Lol what. Excercise has proven, factual and scientific reasoning for its benefits that apply to pretty much everyone. That comparison makes no sense.

 

[jph139]

Speaking as a catholic, yeah no.

Fitness isn't a "it might work for you". It has universal benefits that have been empirically proven time and again.

The fact you weighed the cons as heavier in no way changes reality. just like if I chose to eat nothing but deep fried cheese for every meal because I felt the taste outweighed the con.

That wouldn't change the fact that I would get fatter, get higher cholesterol and eventually die. Empirical data does not care about your weighing of cons.

See, but you're saying "being healthy and fit" is objectively good, while "being fat and having high cholesterol" is objectively bad. That's not true. Some people don't care about being fat and sick.

You disagree with that, which is fine. But you're imposing value on a state (being healthy) that doesn't inherently have value.

 

[Gotdatmoney]

I mean, say that to a guy handing out "Jesus loves you!" pamphlets. Generally speaking they're pretty certain of the benefits.

I understand the benefits of exercise, I lifted weights for a while, went on runs, but I found that the pros are not worth the cons when it comes to dedicated workouts. People value different things.

Personally I think going to the gym is worth about as much as going to church - good for you if it helps, gives your life meaning, whatever. But it's pretty thickheaded to try to convert the unwashed.

The actual proven health benefits of going to the gym and being active in general cannot be ignored. To say its on the level of going to church is completely wrong. Not an opinion. Wrong.

I say this being someone who understands why people do not like going to the gym because it can be insanely boring at times.

I like the gym personally and the increased strength helps in other aspects of things I like to do (like play basketball or go on hikes) but the main thing is it is good for you. Period. Physical activity is not one of those things where there is an actual downside apart from not wanting to spend the time doing it. Even if it gave your life zero meaning its still going to help you in a multitude of ways if you do it. That shouldnt be downplayed.

 

[Shamrock7r]

See, but you're saying "being healthy and fit" is objectively good, while "being fat and having high cholesterol" is objectively bad. That's not true. Some people don't care about being fat and sick.

You disagree with that, which is fine. But you're imposing value on a state (being healthy) that doesn't inherently have value.

Being healthy doesn't inherently have value? Even in your example of someone wanting to be fat and sick over fit and healthy, there is value to being fit and healthy independent of thought and opinion.

 

[BlueTsunami]

No they're not.

Well, I'm sure there are expensive gyms. But there are also cheap ones.

Whole lotta no frills $10 a month ones out there with a $40 yearly charge.

And it has become a meme but I think people don't realize that physical excersion really is a great way to deal with frustration and depression. Not in major cases of depression, you can't just bench press that away. But it is worth it in typical non severe cases.

And I agree about chain gyms being shady as fuck. Even outside of the contract length I had to send a LETTER to the gym chains motherbase just to leave the gym and go to another. It was stupid as fuck and is obviously there to create low barriers for people who can't be bothered to cancel and just accept that $10-20 will be going to some gym they don't go to anymore.

 

[Darryl M R]

Going to the gym is fun for me and is apart of my schedule. Now when I don't go to the gym I feel off.

I wake up around 4:30 to get ready to go to the gym at 5AM on my workdays. The gym doesn't open until 7AM on the weekends.

I only have rest days on Monday and Thursday. It feels so good to plan to workout push your body for 60-90 minutes. I do mostly weightlifting but I plan to incorporate more cardio soon.

 

[radios shipping overview]

What a lot of gym evangelists don't seem to understand is that people think differently and find motivation different ways. The way you talk to yourself to psyche yourself up to get fit may not work at all on somebody else, even if it really, really works for you. So you will probably end up annoying a certain portion of the people you encounter if you use the same approach to talk to all of them about how great fitness is.

OP, you're obviously really into fitness (this is the third thread on the subject I've seen from you) and have found a lot of personal fulfillment with it, so you probably want to share it with everybody. But you come on a little too strong, and you can't force advice on anybody.

Also, maybe some people just want some understanding and a shoulder to cry on when they've just had a breakup and don't want to hear somebody talk about how to fix a situation that has no quick fix.

 

[Bubba T]

I don't get what hitting the gym has to do with breaking up with someone

To tell the truth I forgot that this was mostly a breakup thread and not a thread of getting back in shape.

 

[jph139]

Being healthy doesn't inherently have value? Even in your example of someone wanting to be fat and sick over fit and healthy, there is value to being fit and healthy independent of thought and opinion.

I mean, this veers into more general philosophy, but where is that value derived? Like if "living a long time" is a goal, then yeah, exercise is valuable because it contributes to that goal. You and I would agree that a long, full life is a good thing. Most people would. But some people don't agree, and there's nothing wrong with that - it's everyone's own best guess at finding meaning in the world.

For this subject in particular, though, we can assume the person looking for advice wants to be happy, so I don't think it's unreasonable for a gym dude to say "this makes me happy, maybe this will make you happy?" But the whole "objective, inarguable facts!" tone - that this WILL make you happy, and you SHOULD listen to my advice, is imposing. The tradeoffs you make are not the tradeoffs everyone wants to make. Your idea of fixing a problem isn't everyone's idea. That's the issue, and why I used religion as a comparison - not everyone has the same worldview or comes from the same place goal-wise so saying "Just change your lifestyle to my lifestyle and your problems will go away!" to someone is chauvinistic. An internet stranger doesn't KNOW what will and won't work, so they shouldn't act like they do.

 

[BobTheFork]

I spent $80 6 months ago on DDP yoga I do on the floor of my living room. I've lost 50 pounds and I look like a fine imported gigolo now. "The Gym" isn't the only place to self improve.

 

[TheSeks]

Getting in shape is good advice though, looking better gives people more self-confidence to get over heartbreak.

lol

"My <insert preferred gender here>friend totally found new <insert preferred genital to bump uglies with here>. BUT HEY AT LEAST I LOOK GOOD!"

 

[Mossybrew]

What I want to know is why we always "hit" the gym instead of just "go" there. Do you hit the park? Do you hit the Mall? Hit your mom's house? Odd.

 

[Escape Goat]

What I want to know is why we always "hit" the gym instead of just "go" there. Do you hit the park? Do you hit the Mall? Hit your mom's house? Odd.

Or hit The Hut.

 

[Bubba T]

What I want to know is why we always "hit" the gym instead of just "go" there. Do you hit the park? Do you hit the Mall? Hit your mom's house? Odd.

I personally prefer to drop kick the grocery store, and falcon punch work. I don't know how other people do it otherwise.