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[Lakitu]

I use a shower, put soap in there and put my shower on the highest pressure. It's wonderful.

 

[Zaraki_Kenpachi]

How old are you OP that you've never cleaned your ass?

 

[terrisus]

It bears repeating, 100 posts in:

"It's Turbo time!"

That OP continues to completely ignore the best and easiest answer here.

 

[Tesseract]

finger your butt hole gracefully with a full lather

 

[strobogo]

Why am I not at all surprised that grown adults don't know how to clean themselves on GAF? It's not even an unusual thread for GAF.

 

[TimeEffect]

So...do most of you on here actually own bidets?

If you dont, do you just use your hands or resort to toilet paper

 

[CapitalismSucks DonkeyBalls]

It bears repeating, 100 posts in:



That OP continues to completely ignore the best and easiest answer here.

I've acknowledged it now. Not my cup of tea, though.

 

[v1lla21]

Buy this, eat it, and then slide it up and down your crack.

 

[terrisus]

I've acknowledged it now. Not my cup of tea, though.

Well, then you end up with problems like what you're describing :þ

If you can't clean yourself well in a shower, consider baths.

 

[MegaMelon]

With a watering can!

Spoiler

 

[tim.mbp]

If your ass still stinks after washing with soap and hot water or if you sweat a lot down there, try some baby powder.

 

[Huevos de Oro]

Be thorough. Thorough.

If that fails, shower more often.

 

[milquetoast]

How old are you OP that you've never cleaned your ass?

haha

I first became aware of how important it was in 9th grade PE where I was assigned a partner for situps & I had to hold their feet down. every time he did a situp I guess his cheeks opened up and this awful smell wafted out. retch

 

[AnathemicOne]

This thread is wonderful

 

[Backfoggen]

Go to a car wash and spread your ass against one of those spinning brushes.

 

[Indrid Cold1]

Gently exfoliate and scrub your rusty sheriff's badge with a handful of gravel, hot bovril, and broken glass, then buff to a clean finish with a sheet of sandpaper doused liberally with salt and vinegar. Thank me later!

 

[Rad-]

Buy this:

Number 1 is normal shower, number 2 is for penis, number 3 is for ass, number 4 is for banging in the shower and number 5... well I don't know what the fuck is its purpose.

 

[Pat]

Go to a car wash and spread your ass against one of those spinning brushes.

This might tickle.

 

[AbsolutTimo]

I use TP + wet wipes. Showering my asshole everytime i have to go, seems too much of a hassle.

 

[supergiz]

I usually lather up my hand with soap and go to town

 

[jamesinclair]

The sanitation industry has been saying they don't like wet wipes because they're clogging up the sewage system. Even when a product says it's "flushable", it still causes problems to the system because it doesn't break down like normal waste and toilet paper. They're saying these products should be disposed of in the garbage and not the toilet.

Bidets should be more popular because flushing products down the toilet is only going to become more of a problem.

Listen to this man folks. Wipes go in the garbage can

 

[Ultratech]

here OP:

Aww shit, I remember this.

And now I can't stop laughing....hahahaha

 

[Mexen]

Is this a real thread? Do you really not know how to wash yourself?

Did you just call OP an ass?

 

[FZZ]

Get a Lota OP

 

[terrisus]

Is this a real thread? Do you really not know how to wash yourself?

Did you just call OP an ass?

 

[inm8num2]

Water is your ally. Use the side of your palm to scrub your butthole and taint as water runs over them.

 

[Neo Child]

spray water and soap on it, idk man see a doctor if you think its really bad.

ew

 

[Huevos de Oro]

spray water and soap on it, idk man see a doctor if you think its really bad.

ew

On behalf of all doctors in the world: we don't wash filthy asses.

 

[kick51]

Things came to a head yesterday while out shopping with the wife

you've gone this far in life with a shitty asshole? i'm impressed.

 

[hateradio]

Dastardly anal smell the sequel is less amusing than the original. Yawn.

 

[Kyoufu]

I've acknowledged it now. Not my cup of tea, though.

Cleaning your ass isn't your cup of tea? I'm so confused right now.

 

[Artofwar420]

finger your butt hole gracefully with a full lather

Positive side-effect is you might discover something wonderful about your body while doing it.

 

[terrisus]

Cleaning your ass isn't your cup of tea? I'm so confused right now.

That's too difficult, apparently.
OP would rather have swamp-ass >.>

 

[Pound_lb003]

One word:

Wet wipes.



But seriously, there's only so much you can do about it. If it smells bad, or you've had a particularly unlucky stint on the toilet; then shower! We're human and unfortunately we sweat in our crevices and your ass is never gonna smell like fucking roses. To an extent my advice is: Get over it.

 

[Soodanim]

This all made harder if you are a hoss wit dat ass.

I once tried to hide this swampy when out and about with deodorant on the spot above my ass crack. Holy fucking shit I got a rash and that raw skin hurt like a motherfucker I could only gently rub so that wasn't a great idea, I rub some on my underwear.

I try not to shit in public, I feel gross. I like doing it at home so I can jump into the shower after. If I try the wipe situation even with wipes its gonna get into my fingernails and stink all day

So I hold it but have got into trouble before and had to pull over when driving. Luckily on my route many times I have had mountains and a pullout to block me from public view and its very pleasant to squat and drop off a rock, peacefull and feels better than a toilet. Sadly a couple times I had no other choice while driving, sweating profusely. Either I crashed the car and shit myself or I take my seat belt off and make a quick bed of plastic bags or whatever trash I have in the car, hover as best i can and let the initial blast out with an extra push. Then I slide that mess over onto the passenger seat, pull up my panties and sit back down and gain control of the car. I ball that shit up and throw it away at a 7-11 or nearest trash can I can find.

Well.

Nope, I've got nothing.

 

[t-storm]

That's too difficult, apparently.
OP would rather have swamp-ass >.>

Yep.

Must really have a filthy, stinky, foul smelling, rancid and rotting a-hole.

 

[Pound_lb003]

This all made harder if you are a hoss wit dat ass.

I once tried to hide this swampy when out and about with deodorant on the spot above my ass crack. Holy fucking shit I got a rash and that raw skin hurt like a motherfucker I could only gently rub so that wasn't a great idea, I rub some on my underwear.

I try not to shit in public, I feel gross. I like doing it at home so I can jump into the shower after. If I try the wipe situation even with wipes its gonna get into my fingernails and stink all day

So I hold it but have got into trouble before and had to pull over when driving. Luckily on my route many times I have had mountains and a pullout to block me from public view and its very pleasant to squat and drop off a rock, peacefull and feels better than a toilet. Sadly a couple times I had no other choice while driving, sweating profusely. Either I crashed the car and shit myself or I take my seat belt off and make a quick bed of plastic bags or whatever trash I have in the car, hover as best i can and let the initial blast out with an extra push. Then I slide that mess over onto the passenger seat, pull up my panties and sit back down and gain control of the car. I ball that shit up and throw it away at a 7-11 or nearest trash can I can find.

Is this real?

You shit on your car seat, on a plastic bag, while driving? Really?

 

[TransTrender]

I don't recommend using the same bar of soap and washcloth you normally use for your body because of cross contamination with fecal matter. Use a different set, or use a detachable shower head and spray it, or just use adult wipes.

 

[Yiazmat]

Like this OP:

 

[terrisus]

One word:

Wet wipes.

Like this OP:

Someone needs to edit in pieces of fecal matter flying off to the sides as she does that >.>

 

[Tesseract]

Like this OP:

 

[Extra Sauce]

Scrub every part of your ass with soap and your ass won't smell like ass. It's not rocket science.

 

[Syf]

Lather up those hands and dive in

 

[zorlaczerohero]

The only thing the OP can really do is buy this, it's a steal at $6500!

 

[FallingEdge]

ask Heavy

 

[eXistor]

Spread 'em and just basically stick the showerhead there, then take a bar of soap and rub vigorously, then wrinse. That's how I do it anyway.

So...do most of you on here actually own bidets?

If you dont, do you just use your hands or resort to toilet paper

If the damage done afterwards is too much for mere tp to handle, I just drop trou and jump in the shower. In case of no shower nearby, wet tp is a godsend.

 

[leakey]

Lather up those hands and dive in

Gotta be thorough.

 

[Clockwork5]

you'll need a dog and peanut butter

That's why they are called man's best friend.

 

[Killing_Joke]

Uh, flushable baby wipes. I'm still stunned this isn't the norm in society. I guess people would rather spend 50 cents on dry paper spreading shit all over their ass than a few bucks being nice and clean. It's also great for the balls if you're having a sweaty day. Also great for when you're about to have some spontaneous sex.

 

[Persona7]

turbo jetstream directly to the pooperino

top it off with a layer of scrubbing bubbles cleaner