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How I got banned from Akaicon

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tearsofash said:
Basically I got banned from a convention for things I do in my private life for things that happened outside convention hours.
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If you're interacting with your co-workers outside of work, they're still your co-workers.

Reading your OP, one would assume Akaicon is a sex-oriented event.

But it's not, and judging by your OP, they were absolutely correct to boot you, and the problem isn't them, it's you.
 
tearsofash said:
Well sex doesn't just pop up out of nowhere. There has to be some communication about it. You don't just do it. That's rape. You get to know someone and one day ask them. I guess I just didn't know these people well enough? My bad.
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Wut? It's always been an intuitive thing with me, just happens gradually after getting to know someone.

You're calling that rape?
 
Here's the thing-- you can post whatever the hell you want on social media, etc.

If I'm in a decision-making position, I can use that same information to influence my decisions. You don't get some special right to privacy. Now the private messages would depend on who they were sent to, but if I were to do a simple search on say, your username, anything I find is fair game.

I work as a manager. I have the final call on personnel decisions, meaning primarily hiring new employees. No addition to resumes, interviews, background checks, etc, I'll also look at your social media presence. Mind you, I can only see what you've made PUBLIC but if it's public it's fair game. I've turned down applicants based on this before. We've also terminated before for inappropriate behavior on social media.

You're into what you're into. I have my fair share of kinks as well. You'll just never see it in a place where it doesn't belong.
 
tearsofash said:
Well sex doesn't just pop up out of nowhere. There has to be some communication about it. You don't just do it. That's rape. You get to know someone and one day ask them. I guess I just didn't know these people well enough? My bad.
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dennisreynolds-implication.gif
 
So let me get this straight, because the OP is confusing. OP worked as a director for Akaicon and is now banned from it because he messaged coworkers about his sexual kinks?
Yeah I can totally see how that's a good idea.
Edit: Also I had to google whatever the heck Akaicon was, and lo and behold, it's NOT some kinky fetish con.
 
If I'm understanding correctly, your main kink involves rape / rape roleplay? And you shared this with people unsolicited? In the context of an event that has absolutely nothing to do with anything sexual / kinky? As in you would bring up in conversations how you are into rape roleplay? I sure hope you didn't tell people how you would love to rape them or anyone else, even if in the context of roleplay / kink. You're waaaaaaay crossing the line there. Especially the bit in your post where you say how you asked 'only' two people to straight up have sex with you in the last two years. That's messed up and implies to me that you have a very distorted view on things.

In general you don't just bring up sex or your kinks in regular conversation with others. Just don't. Period. No 'but what if...' or 'but I don't think...' or 'I thought it was harmless...'; Just 'No'.

Perhaps I'm assuming a lot here or there's stuff you haven't shared here, but from the impression you gave in the OP, it definitely seems justified that you were banned. It would perhaps help if you clarified... uh... well, everything.
 
tearsofash said:
Fetishes, kinks, and sex are completely different things.

For instance. I'd love to take my riding crop to somebody cute but I don't want to stick my penis in their vagina.
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Damn, you are very open and candid about yourself.

Do you not see why people would be bothered by it? Do you not realize sexuality, no matter the reason, has a sort of social taboo in a public sphere? And here you are, name dropping things I have to Google in order to understand you.

This is of course only assuming you are merely being honest with no filter. How you go about it may be a bigger can of worms...
 
tearsofash said:
This has been weighing on my mind heavily, and I really have to post about it. I can't sit on this any longer. Near the end of March I was fired as a director and also banned from Akaicon. I was given the following reasons:
"Those complaints range from alleged threats of sexual violence, expressions of a desire to rape, requesting sexual favors, attempts to damage interpersonal relationships of others for personal gain, boasts of illegal sexual deviancy, and I promise you, this list doesn't stop there."

I was told "If you make someone, or several someone's uncomfortable, or feel threatened, I have to act.
A perceived danger is as good as a real one in the public eye." by another director.

This really upsets me. Why? I am someone who has preached consent in the kink community for the last five years. I would NEVER knowingly violate someone's consent. Secondly, I have only even asked two people in the last two years point blank to have sex with me.
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I know this is frowned upon, but I stopped reading here. I don't even want to imagine the words that come after this.
 
freenudemacusers said:
based on how hard it is to follow this weird story about you sharing kinks openly in public i assume a) your perspective is wildly off on how you are perceived or b) you might be mildly crazy or c) a) and b).
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Honestly? You're not wrong. I have a very hard time knowing how people perceive me. I'm not ignorant, I know what people say about me. But it's very mixed. There's a lot of "Oh you just gotta get to know them." type stuff. I do have some very severe mental illness, and admitting to that is going to get me jumped most likely. I'm ready.

My biggest issue is that I'm literally like a person who preaches about consent, and here I am being accused of consent violations when I never actually violated anyone's consent. I just talked about my private interests privately and worried people.
 
I'm uncomfortable just reading this thread. I can't even imagine how your coworkers felt. Keep your sex fantasies to yourself, even more so in a work environment
 
Llyrwenne said:
And you shared this with people unsolicited? In the context of an event that has absolutely nothing to do with anything sexual / kinky? As in you would bring up in conversations how you are into rape roleplay?
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Not unsolicited. Generally, I'd bring it up if we were already talking about kinks and I felt safe to talk about it. I generally don't even mention this fetish on kink websites. I'm mentioning it here on GAF, because you guys are my fam.

I really really really try not to bring it up unless other people are already talking about similar stuff.
 
tearsofash said:
Honestly? You're not wrong. I have a very hard time knowing how people perceive me. I'm not ignorant, I know what people say about me. But it's very mixed. There's a lot of "Oh you just gotta get to know them." type stuff. I do have some very severe mental illness, and admitting to that is going to get me jumped most likely. I'm ready.

My biggest issue is that I'm literally like a person who preaches about consent, and here I am being accused of consent violations when I never actually violated anyone's consent. I just talked about my private interests privately and worried people.
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Talking with co-workers at a party =/= talking privately. Unless you are referring to something else?
 
Hey Lisa I'm just messaging you to see if you setup the alloted booth areas for 6B. Btw can I get a ride home? I'm thinking tied up in your trunk? Then you can fuck me. Well after riding crop foreplay of course. Sound good?
 
| Praxis | said:
If those things warranted a ban, then don't be surprised when you are banned. They can't have been good to anybody else but yourself. It would help if you told us EVERYTHING.



This.
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I'm willing to spill. I'm just so disjointed, tired, and upset right now that I can't really piece it all together properly.
 
OP, I think you have a bit of a skewed idea of what is appropriate to discuss with others and what isn't. As for the con, if it's an all ages thing I can get why they would be nervous about you if you're known to discuss these things and make people uncomfortable.
 
Aztechnology said:
Hey Lisa I'm just messaging you to see if you setup the alloted booth areas for 6B. Btw can I get a ride home? I'm thinking tied up in your trunk? Then you can fuck me, or maybe I'll fuck you? Well after riding crop foreplay of course. Sound good?
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Lmao.

Why on earth would you discuss this stuff with your work colleagues?
 
I think what OP struggles with is the definition of 'private'

I mean it stops being your private life when you start talking about it openly
 
This OP isn't doing you any favours. I'll believe you, if that makes a difference, but maybe you shouldn't so open about exactly what kind of fetishes you have in the open. Some people are comfortable knowing and that's probably the reason why.

That isn't to say what you are into is wrong, but it is shocking to the average person.
 
Everything is all fun and games until you abduct roleplay the wrong person.

It honestly just sounds like how you perceive yourself is off from how most people perceive you. The way your comments read in this thread makes that pretty clear.

Don't talk about your riding crop even if you think that cute girl is into you. Your particular "kinks" would need to be explored and discussed with someone who is comfortable and trusts you.
 
I think even if the convo was kink oriented, most would be expecting tamer stuff. It seems like you're into the more...out there stuff, which is fine, but I could see how the average person might be thrown off hahaha
 
tearsofash said:
My biggest issue is that I'm literally like a person who preaches about consent, and here I am being accused of consent violations when I never actually violated anyone's consent. I just talked about my private interests privately and worried people.
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Not privately enough, apparently. Look at some of the stuff in the news related to how uptight some/most people can be about sexual preference or anything like that, and then think about how "I'd love to take my riding crop to somebody cute but I don't want to stick my penis in their vagina" wouldn't raise a ton of red flags for someone in a position of trying to have a safe public event.

You can be socially awkward, and you can be whatever, but don't be dense.
 
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