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[Beefy]

http://www.neogaf.com/forum/showpost.php?p=206430253&postcount=159

Umm

 

[tearsofash]

OP, I think you have a bit of a skewed idea of what is appropriate to discuss with others and what isn't. As for the con, if it's an all ages thing I can get why they would be nervous about you if you're known to discuss these things and make people uncomfortable.

I have to take issue with this. There is another director that openly admits to consent violations and such but he's cute and adorable and the 'token old dude alcoholic in a hello kitty kigurumi" and I'm just the creepy transgender girl who doesn't pass and comes off the wrong way.

 

[Forkball]

http://www.neogaf.com/forum/showpost.php?p=206430253&postcount=159

 

[Camjo-Z]

I was told "If you make someone, or several someone's uncomfortable, or feel threatened, I have to act.
A perceived danger is as good as a real one in the public eye." by another director.

This really upsets me.

I happen to be into something called abduction roleplay.

Call me old-fashioned, but I'm gonna go ahead and say that 99.99% of people will be... let's say... less than enthused with a request to "pretend" kidnap and rape them. I can't say for sure, but this may have been a factor in your firing!

 

[Gormless Noodle]

You essentially need a double life with that sort of stuff, especially something relatively "shocking" like the kinks you have. It's really naive to be so open about it and have people you work with in the know, you'll suffer a lot for it.

 

[freenudemacusers]

I want to go home now.

Cool. Want me to abduct you on the way or nah?

 

[kmfdmpig]

Part of the issue, OP, is that it seems like you are looking at this as a civil rights issue based on the wording in your OP. You talk about it being 2016, being an adult, etc...
Most people don't feel that way about this type of stuff in connection with the workplace or coworkers. Whether you agree with that or not it's best to simply keep this aspect of your life separate from your work.

 

[Dali]

. . .

that don't sound right, lol

Lmao. Can't believe I missed the implication when I first read it.

 

[Hoo-doo]

Here's a word of advice. Hide that kink of yours like it's a fucking klan membership.

Seriously, just babbling about something that 99% of people would find deeply disturbing is the dumbest thing imaginable. Get a grip.

 

[Valhelm]

The anime avatar really puts this thread together

 

[TheLostBigBoss]

I need an adult

 

[hunchback]

Fetishes, kinks, and sex are completely different things.

For instance. I'd love to take my riding crop to somebody cute but I don't want to stick my penis in their vagina.

I know they are different but you stil are making conflicting posts. You said you had zero interest in sex. But your very first post you admit to asking 2 different people to have sex. Which is it? And what are munches? Do I even want to know?

 

[jmood88]

I think even if the convo was kink oriented, most would be expecting tamer stuff. It seems like you're into the more...out there stuff, which is fine, but I could see how the average person might be thrown off hahaha

I'm pretty sure that they weren't actually talking about kinks but were saying something about people they find attractive, then he blurted out, "I'm into kidnapping women before sex" and everyone was freaked out.

 

[freenudemacusers]

I have to take issue with this. There is another director that openly admits to consent violations and such but he's cute and adorable and the 'token old dude alcoholic in a hello kitty kigurumi"

This is brave new world to me. Nothing about that sounds cute or adorable.

 

[bjork]

Everything is all fun and games until you abduct roleplay the wrong person.

this is making me laugh way more than it should, well done

I know they are different but you stil are making conflicting posts. You said you had zero interest in sex. But your very first post you admit to asking 2 different people to have sex. Which is it? And what are munches? Do I even want to know?

I looked it up too because I had no idea

http://www.louisvillemunch.com/article/what-to-expect-at-a-munch.html

 

[danowat]

Yeah, this has got to be the weirdest, most uncomfortable thread I've think I've ever read on GAF.

Completely and utterly bizarre.

 

[tearsofash]

did you bring up that topic? how the hell would that come up in conversation

I didn't. A lot of akaicon staffers are kinky and/or are on fetlife. It comes up way more often that this thread would have you believe for a "family friendly" con.

Not privately enough, apparently. Look at some of the stuff in the news related to how uptight some/most people can be about sexual preference or anything like that, and then think about how "I'd love to take my riding crop to somebody cute but I don't want to stick my penis in their vagina" wouldn't raise a ton of red flags for someone in a position of trying to have a safe public event.

You can be socially awkward, and you can be whatever, but don't be dense.

I really don't understand. I was explaining that kinks and sex are different. Was my example too x-rated? I can't think of any other way to explain it.

 

[BronsonLee]

I feel like I'm on that show What Would You Do?

 

[Einchy]

I have to take issue with this. There is another director that openly admits to consent violations and such but he's cute and adorable and the 'token old dude alcoholic in a hello kitty kigurumi" and I'm just the creepy transgender girl who doesn't pass and comes off the wrong way.

THIS IS WHY YOU GOT BANNED

 

[AHA-Lambda]

I have to take issue with this. There is another director that openly admits to consent violations and such but he's cute and adorable and the 'token old dude alcoholic in a hello kitty kigurumi" and I'm just the creepy transgender girl who doesn't pass and comes off the wrong way.

I actually can't follow this now

 

[NoblesseOblige]

My biggest issue is that I'm literally like a person who preaches about consent, and here I am being accused of consent violations when I never actually violated anyone's consent. I just talked about my private interests privately and worried people.

You have to understand that outside mostly feminist and BDSM circles the concept of consent is not very well understood. So unless it's violent rape you will find all sorts of people proclaiming non-consensual acts as consensual. Even here on GAF there's a large populace that have difficulty ascertaining the difference. However things like rape role-play, or abduction play, are playing scenarios that almost universally register as non-consensual, and even though you only perform them to the principles of SSC (safe, sane, and consensual to you vanilla-folk), people are going to default to assuming you are walking around fantasizing about raping them.

 

[Pizoxuat]

Honestly? You're not wrong. I have a very hard time knowing how people perceive me. I'm not ignorant, I know what people say about me. But it's very mixed. There's a lot of "Oh you just gotta get to know them." type stuff. I do have some very severe mental illness, and admitting to that is going to get me jumped most likely. I'm ready.

My biggest issue is that I'm literally like a person who preaches about consent, and here I am being accused of consent violations when I never actually violated anyone's consent. I just talked about my private interests privately and worried people.

I am not going to jump on you, but try to picture this through their eyes. "A Person who has authority over me at work and is struggling with mental illness just told me at a party that he fanasizes about abducting and raping people."

Do you see how that could feel very threatening? However much you talk about consent is going to be blown away by the rational fear that combination of dynamics is going to cause.

 

[fanboi]

Honestly? You're not wrong. I have a very hard time knowing how people perceive me. I'm not ignorant, I know what people say about me. But it's very mixed. There's a lot of "Oh you just gotta get to know them." type stuff. I do have some very severe mental illness, and admitting to that is going to get me jumped most likely. I'm ready.

My biggest issue is that I'm literally like a person who preaches about consent, and here I am being accused of consent violations when I never actually violated anyone's consent. I just talked about my private interests privately and worried people.

It is a sort of violation to straight ask a person to have abduction sex with you (since I assume this was work colleagues?).

 

[CitrusStorm]

My kink now involves reading Neogaf threads.

 

[Ledhead]

I'm pretty sure that they weren't actually talking about kinks but were saying something about people they find attractive, then he blurted out, "I'm into kidnapping women before sex" and everyone was freaked out.

This thread is too damn much for 9 in the morning hahaha

 

[Crazemazing]

Fetishes, kinks, and sex are completely different things.

For instance. I'd love to take my riding crop to somebody cute but I don't want to stick my penis in their vagina.

I get the impression you started this thread just to say shit like this because people in your real life got sick of hearing it and you're too socially inept to pick up on the clues.

 

[Jafku]

I am not going to jump on you, but try to picture this through their eyes. "A Person who has authority over me at work and is struggling with mental illness just told me at a party that he fanasizes about abducting and raping people."

Do you see how that could feel very threatening? However much you talk about consent is going to be blown away by the rational fear that combination of dynamics is going to cause.

Good post. OP you need to work on being self-aware on how people perceive you

 

[tearsofash]

I know they are different but you stil are making conflicting posts. You said you had zero interest in sex. But your very first post you admit to asking 2 different people to have sex. Which is it? And what are munches? Do I even want to know?

You're right. I'm not explaining that very clearly.

I am largely uninterested in sex. However, there are two times in the last year that I can recall where I asked. And I only asked because I was suicidal, depressed, lonely, and wanting to feel something. I'm admitting that I asked twice, but largely I am not going around hitting on people or trying to hook up.

 

[Dereck]

http://www.neogaf.com/forum/showpost.php?p=206430253&postcount=159

 

[BigAT]

http://www.neogaf.com/forum/showpost.php?p=206430253&postcount=159

 

[bjork]

I really don't understand. I was explaining that kinks and sex are different. Was my example too x-rated? I can't think of any other way to explain it.

"Not privately enough" was the key to what I was saying. If you know your audience and you're truly in private and it's a situation where you can speak freely, that's one thing. But from the sounds of it, one or none of those were the case.

 

[Sho_Nuff82]

From the context clues in the OP, I thought Akaicon was some sort of S&M convention, and that it was very hypocritical of them to ban you for simply talking about your particular kinks.

Reading up, it's an anime convention.

Full stop, most people do not define their personalities by what gets them off. Most vanilla jobs are not going to tolerate explicit sex talk and blunt solicitation of coworkers. Even if you're just into blow jobs, walking around blabbing to everyone who'll listen than you love bjs and then walking up to a coworker and plainly stating "would you like to give me a bj?" will get you fired.

Yes, we're all adults and it's 2016, but you need to keep your private life private. There is no reason your entire office should know that you're into simulated kidnapping role-playing. It's inappropriate to discuss as it has nothing to do with work, and creates a hostile work environment for men and women who don't want to visualize you naked and fucking some bound sub.

Try not to sabotage your next job, keep your work conversations PG unless you're really, really, really good friends with everyone in earshot.

 

[The Technomancer]

I mean, OP, I believe you when you say you don't "get it"

But I still don't think they were in the wrong, and that's based on only stuff you've told us

 

[cwmartin]

You're right. I'm not explaining that very clearly.

I am largely uninterested in sex. However, there are two times in the last year that I can recall where I asked. And I only asked because I was suicidal, depressed, lonely, and wanting to feel something. I'm admitting that I asked twice, but largely I am not going around hitting on people or trying to hook up.

Do you feel like you are describing the traits of someone who should be a managing director of an all ages convention?

 

[NoblesseOblige]

And what are munches? Do I even want to know?

Munches are just local gatherings of kinksters, or people into BDSM, in a casual social environment. Like reserving a dining hall for an evening.

 

[tearsofash]

I am not going to jump on you, but try to picture this through their eyes. "A Person who has authority over me at work and is struggling with mental illness just told me at a party that he fanasizes about abducting and raping people."

Do you see how that could feel very threatening? However much you talk about consent is going to be blown away by the rational fear that combination of dynamics is going to cause.

You're right. I can get that. Most people tell me that I'm harmless but awkward. Nobody ever actually tells me when I'm being threatening. So I don't realize how these comes across.

It is a sort of violation to straight ask a person to have abduction sex with you (since I assume this was work colleagues?).

I never asked anyone for abduction sex.

 

[Ledhead]

This thread

 

[Dali]

I have to take issue with this. There is another director that openly admits to consent violations and such but he's cute and adorable and the 'token old dude alcoholic in a hello kitty kigurumi" and I'm just the creepy transgender girl who doesn't pass and comes off the wrong way.

Two wrongs don't make a right. Is it sexual harassment if a co-worker does something inappropriate but I'm cool with it? Nope because sh has to have the an "unwanted" component. Your coworker may not have met that requirement but apparently you do. Because one person's behavior is excused even if it's inappropriate it doesn't give you free reign to do and say "but he did it too."

 

[Llyrwenne]

Not unsolicited. Generally, I'd bring it up if we were already talking about kinks and I felt safe to talk about it. I generally don't even mention this fetish on kink websites. I'm mentioning it here on GAF, because you guys are my fam.

I really really really try not to bring it up unless other people are already talking about similar stuff.

Talking to two coworkers outside on a smoke break while already on the topic of kink, yes.

I still disagree that that is a strictly private setting. I am very interested in how you perceive these conversations to go. Could you give us an impression on how exactly the conversation starts / what people talk about in general before you jump in / bring it up? I have a very hard time believing that ( hardcore ) kinks are a discussion topic that naturally comes up with the frequency you are implying. Are they just talking about things they find attractive or sexy? That absolutely does still not qualify as a discussion to bring up your kink in. It also absolutely does not make it okay to straight-up ask people for sex.

Again I might be wrong here or miss some information, so please don't take it too harshly if I'm wildly inaccurate, but I feel like you should really explain some more stuff in detail here...

 

[GavinGT]

What the fuck?

 

[ZeroX03]

Boy this has sure been a stellar week for threads from socially stunted Gaffers.

OP: Basically everything you've posted here is inappropriate for workplace conversation. You shouldn't be sharing any of this in public. That includes the Internet with an identifiable account.

 

[hey_it's_that_dog]

I didn't actually talk about them at work. These were either things I've said at parties or private messages on facebook or another certain social media site.

Did you say these things to "normal" people who were not already discussing kinky sex?

Edit: I guess this has been answered. Props to OP for actually being active in the thread instead of dropping a bomb and leaving for an hour.

 

[Htown]

Lmao. Can't believe I missed the implication when I first read it.

I had to take a few minutes and just look at that
like "am I seeing this right"

got a good chuckle

 

[YesNOnoNOYes]

...but... but why is OP keep insisting everything is a-okay and normal and that his side is righteous even as every sensible gaffer indicate that there might be something in OP's demeanor that makes everyone uncomfortable (even people on this thread, who doesnt know what OP looks like in real)

am i not in kansas anymore >__<

 

[bjork]

Nobody ever actually tells me when I'm being threatening.

Imagine that!

 

[Hoo-doo]

You're right. I'm not explaining that very clearly.

I am largely uninterested in sex. However, there are two times in the last year that I can recall where I asked. And I only asked because I was suicidal, depressed, lonely, and wanting to feel something. I'm admitting that I asked twice, but largely I am not going around hitting on people or trying to hook up.

You asked for sex?

Sex is not like asking someone a favor. You sound insanely creepy.
Sex is a complex, mostly intuitive act that happens when two consenting adults are extremely attracted to eachother. It's not like popping a yes/no question.

And could you imagine them not being interested in a suicidal depressed loner with abduction fantasies that just bluntly asks for sex unsollicited? You need to work on your social skills big time, as in, professional help.

 

[tearsofash]

Did you say these things to "normal" people who were not already discussing kinky sex?

They were already discussing kinky stuff. But it seems that the stuff I was talking about was too kinky for them.

 

[Brakke]

You know you're in a good, well-adjusted, self-aware place when your opening salvo is you asserting that you're an "adult" a bunch of times. Yep. Nothing to be concerned about there.

 

[Intheflorsh]

Edit: NM

 

[ghst]

2016 is wild. proper horrorshow.