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How important is sexuality in your life/well-being ?

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I miss intimacy. That's what's important and the lack of it distresses me.

I also miss the daily intercourse with my partner but as long as i have masturbation that is a subdued problem.
 
As a single man, I wish I could have sex purely as an instinct and with whoever I liked physically at a given chance. However, as soon as I realize my heart and soul get involved, the fun is over.

like when you talk to a stranger and you start thinking "I don't need to talk to this person, sure I can but it annoys me more than it entertains me so I am off here"

same with sex, which means I need to give my sexual partner some value otherwise it's more a hassle than anything.

How much can I appreciate someone I will fuck in a ONS? exactly zero.

so (almost) no easy sex for me. I'd rather play video games, or be lazy and be with myself. if it comes to that then masturbate, period. No time wasting with some other weird people.
 
Sinoox said:
Could you elaborate on the message you're trying to convey with that link?
Click to expand...

The point he makes in that video is that when it comes to sex, basically everyone is shallow to a certain extent. Everyone has "standards," regarding who they would or wouldn't have sex with, whether those are based in appearance, personality, wealth, etc. And some people are seen as so unappealing by society as a whole that they will never be in a situation wherein they meet someone and both people involved are attracted to each other enough to want to initiate sex. Thus, the notion that there's "someone for everyone," just isn't true. Lots of people don't have sex in their life ever.
 
Sex and passion is huge part of my life. Even as I kid I always thought about it and couldn't wait to have sex. My Wife is exactly the same and we are both very, very sexual. It's important to us, and as I get older I can barely keep up with my Wife. LOL! If we aren't having sex we are texting sexual shit to each other. It's the first girl I've ever been with where it never gets old. Typically I get bored and never dated anyone over 6 months.


It's the best drug in the world for me.
 
It's cool, but it in no way drives my taste in women in relationship needs. My first gf had to press the issue because I really wasn't concerned.
 
It's important to me. I've got a high sex drive and going without it would drive me crazy.

However, in the last few months (since September), it's slowed down.

I'm at a point now where it's something that I enjoy, yet I'm not actively looking for it.
 
Sex is good but what I really need is the cuddling and the kissing afterwards. The (few) times I've had casual sex it was pretty shit tbh. Thank God I'm in a relationship with two handsome men who think the same thing.
 
Sex only matters to me if I'm in love with someone. Otherwise it's a chore that makes me feel like an animal. But if I love the person... man. Need it.

Unfortunately I have a sex drive either way, so the pointless sex continues to happen.
 
I'm a 30 year old virgin who masturbates pretty much on a daily basis and I really want to have sex with a woman someday but I'm too much of a shut-in loser and I don't want to pay a whore to do it.

That said, I wouldn't want to center my life around sex even if I had regular sexual partners.
 
Despite having a high sex drive it's not something that clouds my thoughts. I haven't been in a position where I was single and sleeping around, so I can't confidently say I could abstain from sex and pleasure. But when me and my SO were long distance there were periods where I was just disinterested in masturbating in satisfying my sexual appetite, and I wasn't going to cheat, so I just dealt with it. Didn't drive me crazy or anything.
 
vern said:
I don't know why anyone here (or anyone's spouse) would have any problem with that.
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LOL really
You don't know why anyone would have a problem with that. Wow.

If she did have a problem then she should make love with him. Look at it like this, It's like if his wife used to cook for him, then she stopped one day.. and now she won't let him order takeaway. She expects him to not eat elsewhere, and not at home... just whither away and die. And if you think that's not a good analogy read some of the responses in this thread, including mine. Sex is as important as food and water and sleep to a lot of people. I couldn't live (happily) without sex, just as I can't live very well without food.
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As someone for who sex is very important in the relationship... that's total craziness. Sex isn't remotely as essential as food and water. No, don't even try to say it is. Because it's very clearly not. There is always masturbation to satisfy the purely physical need.
"Whither away and die", please... xD
 
Morrigan Stark said:
LOL really
You don't know why anyone would have a problem with that. Wow.


As someone for who sex is very important in the relationship... that's total craziness. Sex isn't remotely as essential as food and water. No, don't even try to say it is. Because it's very clearly not. There is always masturbation to satisfy the purely physical need.
"Whither away and die", please... xD
Click to expand...

For a lot of people, a strong and healthy sex life is key for a relationship and there is nothing wrong with that. Rubbing one out doesn't satisfy the physical need.
 
MrChocolate said:
Absence of sexual pleasure in my life? Well, it would be like using serum and vitamins instead of actual food to maintain myself alive.

Sex, quality food, sports, games. You might live without any of those, but what would be the point of it?
Click to expand...

Could not be put any better. Wanna go?
 
True Savior said:
I miss intimacy. That's what's important and the lack of it distresses me.

I also miss the daily intercourse with my partner but as long as i have masturbation that is a subdued problem.
Click to expand...
yep, intimacy is a big thing for me and can be just as important as sex. broke up with my gf around a week and a bit or so ago and not being able to cuddle, spoon and most importantly wake up next to the person you care about deeply fucking sucks :( life just feels so empty right now

i need a drink
 
Morrigan Stark said:
LOL really
You don't know why anyone would have a problem with that. Wow.


As someone for who sex is very important in the relationship... that's total craziness. Sex isn't remotely as essential as food and water. No, don't even try to say it is. Because it's very clearly not. There is always masturbation to satisfy the purely physical need.
"Whither away and die", please... xD
Click to expand...

Physically no, its not as important as food and water. But being happy and fulfilled are extremely important in life and I wouldn't be happy or fulfilled if I couldn't have a healthy sex life. My sexuality defines me as a person, so take that away and I probably wouldn't be a good person to have a relationship with anyways.

Granted, I'd do everything I could to prevent it but if my sex life with my partner was essentially over, either I'd need to be able to find someone else to get it with, or I'd need to end the relationship. It wouldn't be healthy for me or my partner.
 
Not important to me. I have plenty of other interests. I've been single by choice for most of my life and I have no yearning to get involved in a relationship again.
 
100% important to me.

I love the act itself and all the emotion and games around it. Highlights of my life have been related to it.
 
Morrigan Stark said:
LOL really
You don't know why anyone would have a problem with that. Wow.


As someone for who sex is very important in the relationship... that's total craziness. Sex isn't remotely as essential as food and water. No, don't even try to say it is. Because it's very clearly not. There is always masturbation to satisfy the purely physical need.
"Whither away and die", please... xD
Click to expand...
It depends on the person, but true its of course below food, water and comfort in the basic needs.
Combine severe depression with lack of partner for example and that is some nasty shit.
Edit: im not really sure whats your point, lots of people have killed themselves over it, thats funny? It amuses you?
 
Morrigan Stark said:
LOL really
You don't know why anyone would have a problem with that. Wow.


As someone for who sex is very important in the relationship... that's total craziness. Sex isn't remotely as essential as food and water. No, don't even try to say it is. Because it's very clearly not. There is always masturbation to satisfy the purely physical need.
"Whither away and die", please... xD
Click to expand...

I know people would have a problem with it , I don't know why they would. From a purely logical point of view it makes no sense to deprive your loved one from sex, just because you don't want it. Again not saying his wife should give it to him because he wants it, but she shouldn't have a problem with him seeking it elsewhere. Understand?

And yes, it is as important as food and water. I'd be a depressed person without sex. Depression is a serious illness. Depression kills even! Don't know why you can't make logical thoughts from my previous posts and I have to step by step it out for you.

Also I mentioned, I very rarely masturbate. It's nowhere near as pleasing as sex and when I do it it is purely for the release, but it doesn't bring me any fulfillment emotionally and not much pleasure physically... Unlike sex!
 
This thread reminds me of how sex feels with a condom on. It is fucking with my ability to be satisfied, unfortunately.
 
Joey Fox said:
This thread reminds me of how sex feels with a condom on. It is fucking with my ability to be satisfied, unfortunately.
Click to expand...

Give these a try.

15.png
 
Morrigan Stark said:
LOL really
You don't know why anyone would have a problem with that. Wow.


As someone for who sex is very important in the relationship... that's total craziness. Sex isn't remotely as essential as food and water. No, don't even try to say it is. Because it's very clearly not. There is always masturbation to satisfy the purely physical need.
"Whither away and die", please... xD
Click to expand...

Maslow actually put sex on the same level as food and water on his hierarchy of needs.
 
Somewhat important but I like to focus on the quality of it more so than the quantity of partners, I find most people to be boring sexually
 
It's very important to me, I'm an overly sexual person but it's mostly self love over anything.

Been together 8 years with the same woman and we have two children together. My sex life is non-existent with her, she blames it on her birth control but she's never in the mood. I try to be intimate with her, try doing different things but it usually results in masturbation by myself. I'm a very sexual person even if it's by myself so it doesn't bother me but I do wish she were involved more even if it were for the intimacy.

She's trying a new birth control in March so we'll see then.
 
timothyonfire said:
It's very important to me, I'm an overly sexual person but it's mostly self love over anything.

Been together 8 years with the same woman and we have two children together. My sex life is non-existent with her, she blames it on her birth control but she's never in the mood. I try to be intimate with her, try doing different things but it usually results in masturbation by myself. I'm a very sexual person even if it's by myself so it doesn't bother me but I do wish she were involved more even if it were for the intimacy.

She's trying a new birth control in March so we'll see then.
Click to expand...

Get snipped! Or have her tubes tied. Find a way off the BC if possible and see if that helps. Sucks to see people in this thread married and can't even get laid. Feel bad for you guys.
 
Condoms feel awful, but are better than the alternative.

And yeah, birth control can be a fucker. I was on depo for awhile and ended up really depressed and frustrated and just never ever even remotely horny
 
Damn, there's some strangeness out on this site... wow.



It's a very important part of life... it's why we exist, and it's how we continue to exist. Fucking feels good because it's what makes us reproduce. Lucky we're at a point where we can have that pleasure and control the reproducing.
 
It seems to be important for most people.

I'm a 25 year old virgin, but I'm not ashamed at all. I'm about to move the hell out and actually start making good money.

Sex would be nice, but it's never been my top priority. I'll start bringing women back home when I get my own apartment. I don't want to have sex under Dad's roof.
 
vern said:
And yes, it is as important as food and water. I'd be a depressed person without sex. Depression is a serious illness. Depression kills even! Don't know why you can't make logical thoughts from my previous posts and I have to step by step it out for you.
Click to expand...

You can't go a week without food or water.

Everyone, despite what they say, can go a week without sex, jacking it, or whatever the euphemism women use for masturbating.
 
It's important in a relationship to keep things consistent.

Sure, things happen due to stress at work or elsewhere. But longtime problems in the sack can lead to tensions.

Attraction is also key to maintain the relationship and practicing a healthy lifestyle to keep it lasting.

Wheb couples get too comfy and let themselves go, that complacency can lead to a decline of mutual attraction and sexual activity tanks
 
Pai Pai Master said:
Well damn that was pretty uncalled for. But okay.
Click to expand...

You're right, it was uncalled for. I apologise. I don't know you. I just feel that if sexuality is something that defines you, then we'd have absolutely nothing to talk about, and I'm certain that I'd find you vacuous.
But again, I don't know you.
 
Hellwarden said:
You can't go a week without food or water.

Everyone, despite what they say, can go a week without sex, jacking it, or whatever the euphemism women use for masturbating.
Click to expand...

Yup. It's nowhere near as important as food or water. It isn't even as important as platonic relationships/human (or any other living being) contact.

Don't have sex for a month and you'll be grumpy at most. Don't have food/water/social contact for a month and you are for sure dead, dying or preparing your suicide.
 
I've been wanting to post in this thread for a few days now, but I just worked up the courage.

I think I've mentioned elsewhere on the board that I suffer from trauma induced sexual anhedonia, which means I basically live my life as described in the OP. For the first few years it was really hell, not being able to enjoy sex but still having a libido is a terrible feeling. Or at least it was. For a long time I viewed my sexuality as being a pressure that never had any sort of release, but after several years I was able to decouple my sexual drive from the actual pleasure of sex which I think helped a lot. I was able to service or have serviced the physical drive while focusing on the emotion and intimate part of the experience while ultimatly realizing just how not central sex really is to being a person. Sex can be fun and great for a lot of people, but it really shouldn't be the be all end all of one's life as it is for quite a number of people that I know.

One side effect is that it makes casual stuff completely pointless. Like it doesn't do anything for you and you end up freaking out the other person because it's very hard fake having enjoyable sex very well. I kept on trying it in hopes that I would figure out a way to fix my problem, which I have since discovered can be temporarily alleviated by adderall, but in accepting that wouldn't work I think I've come to have a healthier attitude towards sex than most people in general have.

So while I wouldn't wish my condition on anyone I do feel that it has helped me grow somewhat as a person. Certainly since I had that realization I haven't had any of the complicated social issues that can so often arise from casual sex.

Probably the biggest drawback once you get over that hump is starting a relationship. But in my experience most cool people if they are interested are totally fine with figuring out the best way to deal with it.

*Edit Part of the reason I wanted to post this is that I wanted to reach out to anyone else in a similar situation. If anyone wants to PM me to talk about it they should feel totally free. Unfortunately very few therapists know how to deal with the problem, and most doctors just shrug and say sex isn't for everyone, so I feel that the best way to learn how to deal with it would be to talk to others with similar experience.
 
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