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[Casp0r]

I once stayed on the toilet for 3+ minutes ... then when I got up, I almost face planted. My legs were completely dead.

 

[m@gic]

about 30 seconds bro

Hope this information helps

 

[Gregorn]

Seriously, who the fuck does that?

Who doesn't do that? How do you get your arm under if you don't stand up?

 

[Red]

Who doesn't do that? How do you get your arm under if you don't stand up?

How short are your arms

 

[Bloodbeard]

edit: not sure what happened there

 

[videogames]

I love to hold it in until I'm about 15 seconds from having to just roll the doody out of my briefs.

So ~10 seconds.

 

[bengraven]

I once stayed on the toilet for 3+ minutes ... then when I got up, I almost face planted. My legs were completely dead.

Sounds like bad circulation.

 

[Forearms]

Seriously, who the fuck does that?

LOL - first it's reading, now it's wiping while standing... this thread is officially over.

 

[Fur_Q]

5 - 10 mins I like to eat my breakfast on the shitter, slice of toast something like that. Food goes in food comes out, it's like a conveyor belt.

 

[Seep]

Do you wipe from back to front or front to back? These are the questions that we need to know!

 

[Bloodbeard]

Do you wipe from back to front or front to back? These are the questions that we need to know!

WHO WIPES BACK TO FRONT???

 

[freenudemacusers]

Do you wipe from back to front or front to back? These are the questions that we need to know!

Ask a woman.

 

[B!TCH]

30 minutes. About 20 minutes to push it through, another 10 to clean up the blood and dry off the sweat.

 

[luckyarcher]

 

[alphaNoid]

Probably between 30 seconds and 2 minutes. I never am on the toilet longer.

 

[la flama blanca]

30-45 minutes...everybody hates me
I tend to daydream A LOT, please, I have a thing about being clean

 

[BobLoblaw]

No more than 3-4 minutes. Any more than that and I get bored. I can usually get in one good article in that time frame.

 

[Ushojax]

If there's reading material - 20+ minutes
If not - 5 minutes

 

[TheKaeptain]

About 5-15 mins. Depending on what I have had to eat.

 

[la flama blanca]

I'm also still confused on how people clean their shit up that quickly, takes a while for me.

 

[ReConstructDead]

Depends on whether it's during the beginning or the end of the shower.
Also depends on the clogging effect, etc.

 

[Count Dookkake]

Just clocked myself at 2 minutes.

 

[Snkfanatic]

Few minutes, sometimes longer if I am at work. For obvious reasons

 

[Mothman91]

With smartphone, 20+
without smartphone or anything to read off of, ASAP.

 

[BakedPigeon]

On average 2 minutes or less. Depends on the consistency of the shit and the cleanup effort.

 

[bengraven]

With smartphone, 20+
without smartphone or anything to read off of, ASAP.

 

[Lord Snow]

If I take my smartphone in with me it's easily 10 minutes+, about 4 minutes without reading/browsing material.

 

[Tunavi]

If I'm in a hurry, it ranges from 2 minutes to five minutes.

If not, I will sit there for like 10.

If I have my 3DS, +20

 

[dokish]

You are sitting over top of a pile of your own excrement. The smell of your nasty shit is clinging to your clothing more with each moment you stay in there and bask in it.

This.

More than that, how fucking boring is to seat on an uncomfortable toilet to read something that you can read anywhere you want?

Just shit and get out.

Why people go to the toilet with portable gaming and stuff? If you wanna play it, just take a dump, wipe your ass, go back to your living romm/whatever and PLAY IT!

 

[Kentpaul]

No longer than a minute. I crap at the same time every day so as soon as I sit on the throne it all comes out.

 

[totowhoa]

I do a fair bit of my GAF browsing on the toilet. I'm actually pooping now. My poops take a while due to this

 

[Hazanko]

It takes me longer to wipe my ass, I dunno what I'm doing wrong. The shit just doesn't stop. I keep wiping and wiping. It makes no sense!

 

[Harry Dresden]

 

[ChuyMasta]

Less than a minute brah! I don't like being in the pooper longer than that.

 

[Fur_Q]

It takes me longer to wipe my ass, I dunno what I'm doing wrong. The shit just doesn't stop. I keep wiping and wiping. It makes no sense!

Use wet wipes its like giving your hole a spit sheen shine.

 

[PjotrStroganov]

It takes me longer to wipe my ass, I dunno what I'm doing wrong. The shit just doesn't stop. I keep wiping and wiping. It makes no sense!

Yeah, often there's a bit left in the hole. Can take a while if you wipe it layer by layer.


And who the fuck thinks it's normal to wipe while standing up. The same people who like to drop their pants while peeing right?

 

[krameriffic]

I'm also still confused on how people clean their shit up that quickly, takes a while for me.

Depends on the shit. If it's claylike in consistency, I feel like I need a damn paint scraper to get it off my ass. If its explosive diarrhea, it tends to get everywhere, which also takes a while to clean up. Some dumps drop and leave behind practically nothing.

 

[Count Dookkake]

Use wet wipes its like giving your hole a spit sheen shine.

Not quite as fun as the real thing, though.

 

[andycapps]

As an example of what I typically eat, here is a salad I just bought for lunch. 2.54 lbs. As a reference:

http://db.tt/w9xQJ5lv

Linked because it's a big picture.

How much did that cost? At my job, I think it's $4.99 a pound or some crap like that.

 

[Chinner]

do you tip when you shit

 

[KingK]

In and out of the bathroom in 2 minutes, tops. I never understood what takes people 15+ minutes to shit.

 

[Solo]

do you tip when you shit

Only to circumsized waiters

 

[krameriffic]

In and out of the bathroom in 2 minutes, tops. I never understood what takes people 15+ minutes to shit.

I never understood how some people have never been sick to their stomachs or had bad reactions too foods.

 

[GavinGT]

I just go until my legs start to get numb.

 

[Fur_Q]

do you tip when you shit

You have to when they corner you and spray you with lynx africa.

 

[Count Dookkake]

I never understood how some people have never been sick to their stomachs or had bad reactions too foods.

In my experience, diarrhea and vomiting take much less than 15 minutes. Get it out, clean up and GTFO.

 

[TheContact]

2-10 minutes. Sometimes I get up after pooping then like 10 minutes later I gotta poop again!

 

[Snytbaggen]

5-10 min; depending if i have something to read.
Anybody ever had a bad case of numb legs?

Yeah, that sucks. The worst is when it gets so bad that you just stand there and can't move, because if you do it tingles like hell in your entire leg. And I don't see how reading/playing something while on the toilet is that gross, I mean, you put the book aside before you wipe, meaning that you never get any shit on it. You could argue about air-borne particles, but in that case your toothbrush is far far more gross than a book.

 

[Bo-Locks]

What's more hygienic, taking a shit reading on the iPad or reading a newspaper/magazine?

 

[GK86]

In, and out. No time to sit there and daydream.