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How Steve Jobs would have presented Wii U at E3

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Oh come on with the personal attacks, this is a fun read. I find it unbelievable after Steve Jobs that a company can still be so bad at presenting a product. iPhone launch was a model of good communication, and I applied it to Wii U to show how more effective it made the script.
Yeah, 2 walls of text is absolutely perfect communication and everyone is now convinced they should buy a wii U.

I wouldn't hold my breath for Nintendo HR if I were you.
 

Jinfash

needs 2 extra inches
MVXTa.png
 

RivalCore

Member
I don't think any sane person would find merit in taking the iPhone keynote and replacing iPhone with WiiU.

You are quite clearly insane sir. And not even the fun kind of insane.
 

Dragon

Banned
Marc I know you love Nintendo and Kid Icarus is great but there was no saving that conference. And it wasn't solely because it was presented poorly, it was because preparation was putrid, they didn't know their audience and they didn't address any questions regarding what people most want to hear about. Which is how the online really works, definitively. None of this third party company chiming in stuff to muddy the waters.

So really, Steve Jobs couldn't save that presentation because Nintendo didn't know how to present the Wii U.
 

amrihua

Member
Epic! Truly loved it. Don't mind what the others are saying.

Now what I wanna do is show you the GamePad can work in parallel with 4 other wiimotes or classic controllers. Up to 5 players can play together on Wii U. Let’s see how it works. Here, you can see me play a fantastic launch title, New Super Mario Bros U with 4 people. I’m using the tablet to help my friends… or make their game harder. Look at this, it's seamless. By design, Wii U offers the most ambitious set up on the market for local multiplayer. Asymmetric gameplay, 5 players supported, ability to reuse your wiimotes. It’s the new console king to host family and party games.

Now that's how you sell a game!
 
I think that Nintendo might have gotten a much more positive response had they said everything in the OP.
You might find it ridiculous, but it had confidence in the product that was pretty much non-existent at E3.
 
Meh. Not too hard to make those connections. Avatars reflect something about said individual. I would absolutely agree that Nintendo fans are the most transparent. I can see that Naruto connection as well. Into Japanese-type culture -- maybe third party stuff when it comes to gaming -- thus, Sony.

But theres like a really high number of naruto ones, and when I say really high I really mean it (like 70% of obvious sony fanboys). Theres a lot of other animes, even other same type ones like Bleach, that dont have the same amount of numbers. And the most interesting thing is that the ones with Naruto ones are the most transparent of them all, like being pretty stupid and saying Nintendo/Microsoft needs to die, and things in that style.
There has to be more connection than japanese type culture and third party stuff. Werent the Naruto Gamecube games the better ones in the day?
 

dark10x

Digital Foundry pixel pusher
Wow, that was certainly interesting fan fiction. You can see all of the different Apple conferences mixed together in there with pieces from each year making an appearance.
 

marc^o^

Nintendo's Pro Bono PR Firm
I think that Nintendo might have gotten a much more positive response had they said everything in the OP.
You might find it ridiculous, but it had confidence in the product that was pretty much non-existent at E3.
Exactly what I wanted to convey and what is disturbingly lacking with Reggie nowdays.
 

Thrakier

Member
Wait, you can play Pikmin with the Wiimote? Does it support WM+?

If so...that's probably how we all visioned the Wii six years ago. Now we can finally have it. Just need to buy it again. Hooray. :D
 

666

Banned
As weird as it is to do this, if Nintendo did their presentation like this, the reaction to Wii U would have been a different story. They should hire this dude to be their presentation writer, ripping off Jobs is a good angle.
 

Tailzo

Member
At first I thought it was just strange. But I kept reading. And in the end, I thought it was interesting, and it made the WiiU sound more exciting than Nintendo were able to.
 

MisterHero

Super Member
I'm sure that Steve Jobs would be interested in making games rather than just making money from moving them from storage box A to storage box I
 

Hanmik

Member
Make sure to tune in next week at the same marc^o^-time on the same marc^o^-channel, for the next marc^o^-exclusive article..

"How Mario & peach would have presented Killzone 2 demo at E3 2005
 

Hoo-doo

Banned
Marc^o^ is taking his obsession to another level, I see.

Jobs wasn't some godly incredible presenter or anything, he just has fantastic products backing up his words, that's what makes it special.

Nintendo doesn't really have that anymore.
 
They should have shown off Pikmin at the end, though. The order's a lot better in this - say how the hardware is amazing, go through the features, end with games.
 

Pociask

Member
Otto Von Bismarck, introducing the Wii U:

The Next Generation Battles is viewed too tragically, and presented too tragically in the press; Nintendo does not seek war. If the crisis can be ended with honor, Nintendo will gladly do so. The great independence of the individual makes it difficult for Nintendo to keep selling the same game over and over again. In Microsoft and Sony-land it is otherwise; there, individual independence is lacking. The future of Nintendo, however, is no shame, but rather an honor. We are perhaps too educated to put up with a more mini-game collections - we are too critical. Public opinion wavers; the press is not public opinion; we know how that arises. There are too many Geoff Keighley's who have revolution at heart.

The members [of the video game press] however, have the task of standing over public
sentiment, and of guiding it. Our blood is too hot, we prefer components too great for our small Wii U case to carry, but we should put it to service. Video game fans do not look to Nintendo's innovation, but to its power. Microsoft and Sony would like to turn to innovation, but they shall not assume Nintendo's role. Nintendo must collect its forces for the favorable occasion, which has several times been neglected; Nintendo's sales are not favorable to a healthy third-party ecosystem. Not by speeches and decisions of majorities will the greatest problems of the time be decided - that was the mistake of 2006-2008 - but by iron and blood. This olive branch (he drew it from his memorandum book) I picked up in Redmond, to offer, as a symbol of peace, to the popular party: I see, however, that it is still not the time for it.


Winston Churchill, introducing the Wii U:

Turning once again, and this time more generally, to the question of Nintendo being doomed, I would observe that there has never been a period in all these long centuries of which we boast when an absolute guarantee against being doomed, still less against going third-party, could have been given to our people. In the days of the Intellevision, of which I was speaking just now, the same wind which would have carried number one selling games across the Atlantic might have driven away the Marios and Metroids of that day. There was always the chance, and it is that chance which has excited and befooled the imaginations of many American tyrants. Many are the tales that are told. We are assured that novel methods will be adopted, and when we see the originality of malice, the ingenuity of aggression, which our enemy displays, we may certainly prepare ourselves for every kind of novel stratagem and every kind of brutal and treacherous manœuvre. I think that no idea is so outlandish that it should not be considered and viewed with a searching, but at the same time, I hope, with a steady eye. We must never forget the solid assurances of handheld domination and those which belong to intellectual property if it can be locally exercised.

I have, myself, full confidence that if all do their duty, if nothing is neglected, and if the best arrangements are made, as they are being made, we shall prove ourselves once more able to defend our island home, to ride out the storm of the next generation, and to outlive the menace of high definition, if necessary for years, if necessary alone. At any rate, that is what we are going to try to do. That is the resolve of Yamauchi's Company — every man of them. That is the will of Iwata and Miyamoto. The Nintendo Empire and Retro Studios, linked together in their cause and in their need, will defend to the death their native soil, aiding each other like good comrades to the utmost of their strength.

Even though large tracts of America and many old and famous States have fallen or may fall into the grip of Microsoft and all the odious apparatus of Sony rule, we shall not flag or fail. We shall go on to the end. We shall fight in Europe, we shall fight America, we shall fight with growing confidence and growing strength in the high definition era, we shall defend our island, whatever the cost may be. We shall fight on the JRPGS, we shall fight on the platformers, we shall fight in the mascot games, we shall fight in the action-adventure genre; we shall never surrender, and if, which I do not for a moment believe, Nintendo or a large part of it were subjugated and in another drought, then our studios beyond the seas, armed and guarded by Nintendo fanboys, would carry on the struggle, until, in God's good time, the rapidly developing third-world, with all their power and might, steps forth to the rescue and the liberation of the first.
 

marc^o^

Nintendo's Pro Bono PR Firm
Otto Von Bismarck, introducing the Wii U:

The Next Generation Battles is viewed too tragically, and presented too tragically in the press; Nintendo does not seek war. If the crisis can be ended with honor, Nintendo will gladly do so. The great independence of the individual makes it difficult for Nintendo to keep selling the same game over and over again. In Microsoft and Sony-land it is otherwise; there, individual independence is lacking. The future of Nintendo, however, is no shame, but rather an honor. We are perhaps too educated to put up with a more mini-game collections - we are too critical. Public opinion wavers; the press is not public opinion; we know how that arises. There are too many Geoff Keighley's who have revolution at heart.

The members [of the video game press] however, have the task of standing over public
sentiment, and of guiding it. Our blood is too hot, we prefer components too great for our small Wii U case to carry, but we should put it to service. Video game fans do not look to Nintendo's innovation, but to its power. Microsoft and Sony would like to turn to innovation, but they shall not assume Nintendo's role. Nintendo must collect its forces for the favorable occasion, which has several times been neglected; Nintendo's sales are not favorable to a healthy third-party ecosystem. Not by speeches and decisions of majorities will the greatest problems of the time be decided - that was the mistake of 2006-2008 - but by iron and blood. This olive branch (he drew it from his memorandum book) I picked up in Redmond, to offer, as a symbol of peace, to the popular party: I see, however, that it is still not the time for it.


Winston Churchill, introducing the Wii U:

Turning once again, and this time more generally, to the question of Nintendo being doomed, I would observe that there has never been a period in all these long centuries of which we boast when an absolute guarantee against being doomed, still less against going third-party, could have been given to our people. In the days of the Intellevision, of which I was speaking just now, the same wind which would have carried number one selling games across the Atlantic might have driven away the Marios and Metroids of that day. There was always the chance, and it is that chance which has excited and befooled the imaginations of many American tyrants. Many are the tales that are told. We are assured that novel methods will be adopted, and when we see the originality of malice, the ingenuity of aggression, which our enemy displays, we may certainly prepare ourselves for every kind of novel stratagem and every kind of brutal and treacherous manœuvre. I think that no idea is so outlandish that it should not be considered and viewed with a searching, but at the same time, I hope, with a steady eye. We must never forget the solid assurances of handheld domination and those which belong to intellectual property if it can be locally exercised.

I have, myself, full confidence that if all do their duty, if nothing is neglected, and if the best arrangements are made, as they are being made, we shall prove ourselves once more able to defend our island home, to ride out the storm of the next generation, and to outlive the menace of high definition, if necessary for years, if necessary alone. At any rate, that is what we are going to try to do. That is the resolve of Yamauchi's Company — every man of them. That is the will of Iwata and Miyamoto. The Nintendo Empire and Retro Studios, linked together in their cause and in their need, will defend to the death their native soil, aiding each other like good comrades to the utmost of their strength.

Even though large tracts of America and many old and famous States have fallen or may fall into the grip of Microsoft and all the odious apparatus of Sony rule, we shall not flag or fail. We shall go on to the end. We shall fight in Europe, we shall fight America, we shall fight with growing confidence and growing strength in the high definition era, we shall defend our island, whatever the cost may be. We shall fight on the JRPGS, we shall fight on the platformers, we shall fight in the mascot games, we shall fight in the action-adventure genre; we shall never surrender, and if, which I do not for a moment believe, Nintendo or a large part of it were subjugated and in another drought, then our studios beyond the seas, armed and guarded by Nintendo fanboys, would carry on the struggle, until, in God's good time, the rapidly developing third-world, with all their power and might, steps forth to the rescue and the liberation of the first.
That was awesome :)
 
I don't think any sane person would find merit in taking the iPhone keynote and replacing iPhone with WiiU.

You are quite clearly insane sir. And not even the fun kind of insane.

Fun insane Sonic fan HUELEN gets permanent ban, while not-fun insane Nintendo fans are okay.
 
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