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I came blood.

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Z

ZealousD

Makes world leading predictions like "The sun will rise tomorrow"
So did you explain to your parents how you knew to extract semen?

Seeing as you apparently don't jack off, how did you know what to do when the doctor ordered you to?

What I'm trying to say is that your parents know, dude.
 
xaosslug

xaosslug

Member
JSnake said:
Alright, so time for explaining. Doctor calls up, tells me to jizz in a cup AND pee in a cup and drop them both over to him. He wanted to examine them both so he can make a better diagnosis. Jizzing in a cup doesn't really let my mom know I j/o on a regular basis. After all, the doctor tells me to, so it's OK.

He calls up after testing and tells me I have "perfectly clean semen", but "PERFECT CUM" sounded funnier so there you go. He says the same thing for the piss.
Click to expand...

so, after you you came blood, between 09:16 AM and 12:12 PM you managed to: line up a doctor's appointment, receive instructions, pee and jack-it in cups, have 'em couried to the doc's office, and get the test results back?

um, this wouldn't by any chance be your family physician...?
jtbbt0.gif
 
A

Armitage

Member
ZealousD said:
So did you explain to your parents how you knew to extract semen?

Seeing as you apparently don't jack off, how did you know what to do when the doctor ordered you to?

What I'm trying to say is that your parents know, dude.
Click to expand...

Sex ed? Or, you know, MTV?
 
M

Mamesj

Banned
help, I think I just ate pot brownies, came blood, my cat is sick, and yeah, another freaking girl thread on gaf...
 
B

beelzebozo

Jealous Bastard
your nintendo p.r. rep has been putting ground glass in your easy mac, dude. that's what you get for breaking n.d.a.
 
B

benita316

Banned
JSnake said:
I don't care about that, I just don't want my computer taken away. :(

Anyway, when I go to the doc's, my parents will leave for the wang exam as they usually do. Then I'll tell the doctor the truth.
Click to expand...


Um wat? Is this a regular occurrence?
 
G

Gallagher

Banned
JSnake said:
So maybe this is common amongst teenage males, I have no clue. I'm just really weirded out. So I'm jacking off and everything is just peachy-keen. As I grab some tissues to wipe the splooge off, I notice that... I've splooged blood. A lot of blood. When all is said and done, I probably came more blood than I did man juice. It didn't hurt, there was no other indication that blood came out of my wang other than that I saw it.

Help GAF. :(
Click to expand...


You are now a victim of "Friend" and his new virus...
 
Xdrive05

Xdrive05

Member
JSnake said:
Alright, so time for explaining. Doctor calls up, tells me to jizz in a cup AND pee in a cup and drop them both over to him. He wanted to examine them both so he can make a better diagnosis. Jizzing in a cup doesn't really let my mom know I j/o on a regular basis. After all, the doctor tells me to, so it's OK.

He calls up after testing and tells me I have "perfectly clean semen", but "PERFECT CUM" sounded funnier so there you go. He says the same thing for the piss.
Click to expand...
Xdrive's Wife says:

Bullshit. A doctor wouldn't have you take your own semen and urine samples at home. You can't get a clean sample at home. You need to have a clean source and a sterile container for it. What "cup" did your mom happen to have handy to put it in? Tupperware? Gladware? Come on. Not to mention that you couldn't have gotten test results from a lab that quickly.
Again I say, bullshit.
 
A

Amir0x

Banned
Xdrive05 said:
Xdrive's Wife says:

Bullshit. A doctor wouldn't have you take your own semen and urine samples at home. You can't get a clean sample at home. You need to have a clean source and a sterile container for it. What "cup" did your mom happen to have handy to put it in? Tupperware? Gladware? Come on. Not to mention that you couldn't have gotten test results from a lab that quickly.
Again I say, bullshit.
Click to expand...

Yeah... JSnake... this does seem VERY odd. Not to be easily swayed, but this is some obvious shit.
 
C

Costanza

Banned
Xdrive05 said:
Xdrive's Wife says:

Bullshit. A doctor wouldn't have you take your own semen and urine samples at home. You can't get a clean sample at home. You need to have a clean source and a sterile container for it. What "cup" did your mom happen to have handy to put it in? Tupperware? Gladware? Come on. Not to mention that you couldn't have gotten test results from a lab that quickly.
Again I say, bullshit.
Click to expand...
I'm suspicious too, but a few months ago I had my urine tested at my regular doctor, and he had results in five minutes. Of course I used a sterile cup that they gave me AT THE DOCTOR'S OFFICE.
 
J

JSnake

Member
Costanza said:
why the fuck would your mom have a sterile specimen cup? :lol
Click to expand...

Because I have medical problems besides this that require it. My back wall was broken in and made into a medicine cabinet for christ's sake.
 
Xdrive05

Xdrive05

Member
Costanza said:
I'm suspicious too, but a few months ago I had my urine tested at my regular doctor, and he had results in five minutes. Of course I used a sterile cup that they gave me AT THE DOCTOR'S OFFICE.
Click to expand...
Testing urine isn't that difficult, no. You can get tests for urinary tract infections at the drugstore. Semen would be a different story.
Signed,
Xdrive's Wife
 
M

madmook

Member
JSnake said:
Because I have medical problems besides this that require it. My back wall was broken in and made into a medicine cabinet for christ's sake.
Click to expand...
So you're on various meds for other medical reasons? Should've mentioned that in the freakin' OP, that kinda changes things...
 
xaosslug

xaosslug

Member
JSnake said:
Because I have medical problems besides this that require it. My back wall was broken in and made into a medicine cabinet for christ's sake.
Click to expand...

err... shouldn't you have mentioned that in the OP to, you know, frame your question in the proper context? o_O
 
C

Costanza

Banned
JSnake said:
I didn't think it was important.
Click to expand...
oh come on.. you have multiple preexisting conditions and on different meds and it didn't even fucking occur to you that they could in some way be related to BLOOD COMING OUT OF YOUR DICK?
 
D

Drewsy

Banned
aoi tsuki said:
i forget what it's called, but it's not particularly common and it's generally nothing major (unless it's an STD). But you know, blood coming out of your cock means get your ass to a doctor.
Click to expand...

Eh, I had an itty bitty bit come out once after taking a piss. I was having a lot of sex and doing a lot of drugs so I attributed it to that.
 
J

JSnake

Member
Costanza said:
oh come on.. you have multiple preexisting conditions and on different meds and it didn't even fucking occur to you that they could in some way be related to BLOOD COMING OUT OF YOUR DICK?
Click to expand...

I take viagra to help my heart, cipro for my current flu, a bunch of other stuff for my lungs and heart. And I'm on a ventilator.

Honestly, I didn't think it had anything to do with blood coming out of my dick seeing as I've been on this stuff for years.
 
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