• Hey Guest. Check out your NeoGAF Wrapped 2025 results here!

I just learned that purity rings is (was?) a thing

Status
Not open for further replies.
ProfessorLobo said:
It is kind of blowing my mind that neogaf of all places finds nothing wrong with purity rings.
Click to expand...

It's just tolerance to different viewpoints. I mean, we're not condoning them, but who really cares? It's not a horrible thing if someone chooses to abstain. It's their body and mind, let them do what they want to do.
 
Sinoox said:
It's just tolerance to different viewpoints. I mean, we're not condoning them, but who really cares? It's not a bad thing if a young girl chooses to abstain.
Click to expand...

Abstinence is prescribed as a divine expectation, in the place of proper sexual education.
 
OP, your grammar in the sentence above is bugging me. It should "I just learned purity rings are (were?) a thing?" You used a verb for a singular object with a multiple object noun.

Also, the band is great, the objects are bad, and purity balls are the creepiest shit ever (prom with your dad? That sounds super weird.)
 
AuthenticM said:
For those who don't know, a purity ring is a ring that you put on when you take a pledge to stay a virgin until you get married. It is a public display of your commitment to abstinence. It's fucked.

I had read some story last year (or two years ago) about some ceremony between very young girls (prepubescent) and their fathers in which they pledge to avoid sex until marriage. This sickened me to no end, as it is known that such teachings are unhealthy for the mental development of people. And to see such a system in place that promotes that really upset me.
Click to expand...

I'm a little confused here as I can't seem to grasp what your are disgusted about.

The beauty of sexual freedom is the ability to make choices about your own sex life and your own body. This includes the choice to remain celibate until marriage. Whether those reasons are religious, cultural, or otherwise is none of your business or concern.

Does that mean abstinence-only sexual education is good? Of course not. Proper sexual education should be mandatory for everyone, but children should also be educated on ALL choices available to them and encouraged to make choices that best suit them.

We should be just as encouraging to those who choose to be celibate as we are of those who engage in a healthy, active sex lives. To look down on any particular choice (as long as it results in no harm tot eh individual) is unhealthy.
 
People who wear purity rings/promise rings are usually doing it for their parents or whoever else is trying to indoctrinate them. Rarely are they celibate.

Steamlord said:
Another Eternity is solid but Shrines is still better.
Click to expand...
I don't know, man. I saw them live in October and it was absolutely brilliant. Beautiful performance, and they are super goofy. It was a really small venue, one of the best live performances I've seen.
 
injurai said:
Abstinence is prescribed as a divine expectation, in the place of proper sexual education.
Click to expand...

Not necessarily, that's just one reason for it. The American educational system fulfills sexual education in schools at least. It's also not like young people don't have access to an unlimited amount of information online...
 
A purity ball is an American formal dance event attended by fathers and their daughters which promotes virginity until marriage for teenage girls. Typically, daughters who attend a purity ball make a virginity pledge to remain sexually abstinent until marriage. Fathers who attend a purity ball make a promise to protect their young daughters' "purity of mind, body, and soul."[1] Proponents of these events contend that they encourage close and deeply affectionate relationships between fathers and daughters, thereby avoiding the premarital sexual activity that allegedly results when young women seek love through relationships with young men.
Click to expand...

Wow. What am I reading. This is pretty messedbup to put a child through.
"purity of mind, body, and soul"
 
umop_3pisdn said:
I think abstention is a valid and sometimes even wise choice but efforts to culturally enshrine it in this way along with paraphenalia (and 'virginity' narratives in general) are basically misogynistic.
Click to expand...

I can agree with that.

I haven't seen too much of it personally, but when I do it's usually regarding dudes (I know a few guys who took chaste vows, and there's the Jonas brothers). That doesn't negate what you said, it's still potentially directing a particular narrative against woman.

That said, I don't really see this dealing a lot of damage in the long run. Perhaps there'll be twangs of guilt if the person breaks their vows, but I don't see this going further than the niche it already is.
 
Sinoox said:
It's a religious thing, dude. America is a semi-free country, let people do what they want.



Their first album was killer, but the newest one kind of sucks to be honest.
Click to expand...

I thought the same thing but it honestly gets amazing after a few listens.
 
Sinoox said:
Not necessarily, that's just one reason for it. The American educational system fulfills sexual education in schools at least. It's also not like young people don't have access to an unlimited amount of information online...
Click to expand...

no...it does not
 
I have to wonder how purity, or more specifically, virginity is defined here by the people involved. It's always been a nebulous concept generally, but when it's talked about here it is nearly always focused on the vagina not being penetrated by a penis.

But that leaves lots of grey areas and loopholes for horny teens to exploit without technically having broken the rules. For instance, it's ludicrous to think that anal sex is somehow purer or less intimate than regular sex, yet there are people who consider themselves virgins who have had loads of anal sex. What about oral sex? How is a lesbian who has slept with dozens of women but no men still considered a virgin?

None of this appears to be very well thought through.
 
Sinoox said:
Not necessarily, that's just one reason for it. The American educational system fulfills sexual education in schools at least. It's also not like young people don't have access to an unlimited amount of information online...
Click to expand...

I think you missed the part where I said it is prescribed as a religious expectation and ties a guilt to sexuality.
 
My high school had a club for this and as you can guess most of the girls didn't wait. The ceremony was just them saying some stuff and signing a paper while they got their rings. Totally not a big deal, every now and then they make posters and stuff saying true love waits and such. Easiest club in the world. lol
 
I have one. I don't see why you feel the need to ridicule people who choose to have one. It's a personal choice. Don't agree with it, don't get one, but don't ridicule those who do choose to go down that path and call it "fucked". I mean who is it hurting?
 
The M said:
I have one. I don't see why you feel the need to ridicule people who choose to have one. It's a personal choice. Don't agree with it, don't get one, but don't ridicule those who do choose to go down that path and call it "fucked". I mean who is it hurting?
Click to expand...

This is why I asked for clarification on what he believes is "fucked".

Is it the public display of one's abstinence through use of a purity ring?
Is it the idea that one makes a commitment to abstinent until marriage?

Because there really is nothing wrong with either of these situations as long as the individuals makes that decision for themselves. And if these individuals choose to remove their rings or rescind their previous commitment to abstinence, there's nothing wrong with that either.

As for yourself The M, good for you. As long as you are comfortable with the choices you make regarding your sexuality, you're doing the right thing. Don't let anyone else shame or ridicule you for your choices.
 
Dr.JayP said:
This is why I asked for clarification on what he believes is "fucked".

Is it the public display of one's abstinence through use of a purity ring?
Is it the idea that one makes a commitment to abstinent until marriage?

Because there really is nothing wrong with either of these situations as long as the individuals makes that decision for themselves. And if these individuals choose to remove their rings or rescind their previous commitment to abstinence, there's nothing wrong with that either.

As for yourself The M, good for you. As long as you are comfortable with the choices you make regarding your sexuality, you're doing the right thing. Don't let anyone else shame or ridicule you for your choices.
Click to expand...

I got it when I was 14. It was my choice. I had other friends who got the rings who were unable to hold up their end of the bargain. But that's the great thing about being a Christian! You are forgiven if you ask for it. It's not like if you get this ring, have sex before marriage, that God will strike you down from heaven.

I have been faced with temptation many times but have resisted. It's hard. But in the end I realize that having sex outside of marriage is not the lifestyle I want to live or a choice I want to make. I believe when I do get married that my decision to abstain will be rewarded.

I don't judge those who have sex outside of marriage. It's their choice. I just believe, that for myself, the best path to a strong and stable marriage that lasts is to abstain. The analogy I like is a piece of tape. If you put a piece of tape on something, and peel it off, it won't be as sticky. Keep applying it and removing it and it eventually loses its stickeness. But put two pieces of fresh tape together and it will be hard to separate.
 
The M said:
I got it when I was 14. It was my choice. I had other friends who got the rings who were unable to hold up their end of the bargain. But that's the great thing about being a Christian! You are forgiven if you ask for it. It's not like if you get this ring, have sex before marriage, that God will strike you down from heaven.

I have been faced with temptation many times but have resisted. It's hard. But in the end I realize that having sex outside of marriage is not the lifestyle I want to live or a choice I want to make. I believe when I do get married that my decision to abstain will be rewarded.

I don't judge those who have sex outside of marriage. It's their choice. I just believe, that for myself, the best path to a strong and stable marriage that lasts is to abstain. The analogy I like is a piece of tape. If you put a piece of tape on something, and peel it off, it won't be as sticky. Keep applying it and removing it and it eventually loses its stickeness. But put two pieces of fresh tape together and it will be hard to separate.
Click to expand...

That's awesome to hear that you are confident in doing what's best for yourself, while understanding the importance of not judging others' sexual choices. Continue to be confident in yourself and your sexual choices.
 
The M said:
I got it when I was 14. It was my choice. I had other friends who got the rings who were unable to hold up their end of the bargain. But that's the great thing about being a Christian! You are forgiven if you ask for it. It's not like if you get this ring, have sex before marriage, that God will strike you down from heaven.

I have been faced with temptation many times but have resisted. It's hard. But in the end I realize that having sex outside of marriage is not the lifestyle I want to live or a choice I want to make. I believe when I do get married that my decision to abstain will be rewarded.

I don't judge those who have sex outside of marriage. It's their choice. I just believe, that for myself, the best path to a strong and stable marriage that lasts is to abstain. The analogy I like is a piece of tape. If you put a piece of tape on something, and peel it off, it won't be as sticky. Keep applying it and removing it and it eventually loses its stickeness. But put two pieces of fresh tape together and it will be hard to separate.
Click to expand...

So the slut shaming example that they use in almost every abstinence-only sex education program then.
 
can they masturbate?

The M said:
I don't judge those who have sex outside of marriage. It's their choice. I just believe, that for myself, the best path to a strong and stable marriage that lasts is to abstain. The analogy I like is a piece of tape. If you put a piece of tape on something, and peel it off, it won't be as sticky. Keep applying it and removing it and it eventually loses its stickeness. But put two pieces of fresh tape together and it will be hard to separate.
Click to expand...

Well, you'll be glad to know that sex involves lubrication so the risk of you having your genitals glued to someone else's isn't really something that would ever, ever happen.
 
excelsiorlef said:
It's interesting when you compare the reaction to this to the reaction to the hijab,
Click to expand...

Yeah, the hijab is kind of like a purity ring for muslim women.

The purpose of which is to show that you are modest and pure.

Of course GAF would not criticise the hijab like we would purity rings - that would be culturally imperialist and insensitive.
 
Air said:
What's wrong with it exactly?
Click to expand...
They're called purity rings. The main beef I have with the concept is honestly that their existence usually signifies the presence much deeper and more dangerous problems.

Dennis said:
Yeah, the hijab is kind of like a purity ring for muslim women.
Click to expand...
I worry about both cases. They're perfectly fine things to have but it's hard to be sure people are making an informed choice. And when does trying to help educate people cross the line into a man trying to tell a woman what's best for her?
 
The M said:
I don't judge those who have sex outside of marriage. It's their choice. I just believe, that for myself, the best path to a strong and stable marriage that lasts is to abstain. The analogy I like is a piece of tape. If you put a piece of tape on something, and peel it off, it won't be as sticky. Keep applying it and removing it and it eventually loses its stickeness. But put two pieces of fresh tape together and it will be hard to separate.
Click to expand...

You don't judge them, you just think they're dirty people who will never be able to form romantic bonds as well as you.

I mean do what's right for you, don't give a fuck, but don't pretend to not be judging others and then explictedly judging them.

Dennis said:
Yeah, the hijab is kind of like a purity ring for muslim women.

The purpose of which is to show that you are modest and pure.

Of course GAF would not criticise the hijab like we would purity rings - that would be culturally imperialist and insensitive.
Click to expand...

Uhhhhh have you seen any thread on the hijab? There's a ton of judgment, I mean there's an actual support here for an outright ban of it.

This thread is fucking roses compared to that one.
 
Some devil out there made a fortune off this idea.

The M said:
I have been faced with temptation many times but have resisted. It's hard. But in the end I realize that having sex outside of marriage is not the lifestyle I want to live or a choice I want to make. I believe when I do get married that my decision to abstain will be rewarded.

I don't judge those who have sex outside of marriage. It's their choice. I just believe, that for myself, the best path to a strong and stable marriage that lasts is to abstain. The analogy I like is a piece of tape. If you put a piece of tape on something, and peel it off, it won't be as sticky. Keep applying it and removing it and it eventually loses its stickeness. But put two pieces of fresh tape together and it will be hard to separate.
Click to expand...

Yeah.. I'm sorry dude but regardless of what you actively try to think, it sounds to me like you subconciously already have a lower opinion of people who aren't abstinent.
 
torre_avenue said:
OP, your grammar in the sentence above is bugging me. It should "I just learned purity rings are (were?) a thing?" You used a verb for a singular object with a multiple object noun.

Also, the band are great, the objects are bad, and purity balls are the creepiest shit ever (prom with your dad? That sounds super weird.)
Click to expand...

Whenever you criticize someone else's grammar, you should make sure that your own is correct (and especially that you don't make the same error you are pointing out).
 
The M said:
I don't judge those who have sex outside of marriage. It's their choice. I just believe, that for myself, the best path to a strong and stable marriage that lasts is to abstain. The analogy I like is a piece of tape. If you put a piece of tape on something, and peel it off, it won't be as sticky. Keep applying it and removing it and it eventually loses its stickeness. But put two pieces of fresh tape together and it will be hard to separate.
Click to expand...

You don't judge people who have a lot of sex, you just think they're as good as tape that can't stick. Got it.
 
Kyuur said:
Yeah.. I'm sorry dude but regardless of what you actively try to think, it sounds to me like you subconciously already have a lower opinion of people who aren't abstinent.
Click to expand...

excelsiorlef said:
You don't judge them, you just think they're dirty people who will never be able to form romantic bonds as well as you.

I mean do what's right for you, don't give a fuck, but don't pretend to not be judging others and then explictedly judging them.
Click to expand...

Putting words in my mouth. I never made any such assertions. You are just trying to think I implied it. I am trying to do what is best for me. What is best for me may not be best for others and I understand that.

I don't drink, but that doesn't mean I think people who do drink are dirty people or have a lower opinion of them.

I eat meat, but that doesn't mean I think that vegetarians are dirty people or have a lower opinion of them.

What is best for me isn't necessarily best for others and I get that.
 
It's weird someone can be so angry at how some people decide to act. I chose not to havecsex with my wife until I was married. I didn't wear a ring but I had the same mentality. I don't think I'm all fucked up in the head either
 
I have a friend who wants to be abstenent until marage. He thinks his life belongs to god and all that stuff. Me and my friends sometimes jossle him over it, but other than that we respect the choice. There's nothing wrong with it as long as you don't pressure or shame others for not having the same values or making the same choice, which he doesn't. I don't get why it would be a big deal.

To be clear, this excludes abstenence only education and the such. That's fucked up.

The M said:
Putting words in my mouth. I never made any such assertions. You are just trying to think I implied it. I am trying to do what is best for me. What is best for me may not be best for others and I understand that.

I don't drink, but that doesn't mean I think people who do drink are dirty people or have a lower opinion of them.

I eat meat, but that doesn't mean I think that vegetarians are dirty people or have a lower opinion of them.

What is best for me isn't necessarily best for others and I get that.
Click to expand...

Would you marry a non-virgin, given he/she didn't try to pressure you into sex before marrage, The M?
 
The only girl I knew who wore one was pregnant before the end of 10th grade. If the church youth group didn't slut shame her and her parents allowed her to attend sex ed, maybe she wouldn't be where she is today.
 
I think people can choose this how they want, and the idea of saving sex for marriage isn't the worst idea ever.

Let people be people.
 
Trojita said:
It's delusional drivel pushed to teens that should be learning about Sex Ed. It's actually a very caustic thing.
Click to expand...

A Chastity Vow and Abstinence Only Sex Ed are two totally different things and it's sad that people confuse the two.

I had the benefit of Progressive Sex Ed from public schools, while still being asked to take a Chastity Vow at Catechism (ha, Jokes on them. I don't need to take a vow to Not get Laid)
 
Status
Not open for further replies.

Similar threads

today I learned typing 'lol' in texts is a millennial thing
2
79
2K
Paasei replied
I just learned that there's a subreddit called r/amiugly
49
5K
The Cockatrice replied
Stephen Colbert is co-writing "The Lord of the Rings: Shadow of the Past"
2 3 4
169
1K
TintoConCasera replied
I just had a magical experience in the bathroom.
27
502
poppabk replied
Reading Lord of the Rings again, and Tolkien is just a master of world building
43
2K
jason10mm replied
Top Bottom