Tons of people hold beliefs about wanting to be pure. I don't think that in and of itself is bad. I can't speak to the other part of your statement. It seems like conjecture and hyperbole.
-
Hey Guest. Check out your NeoGAF Wrapped 2025 results here!
I just learned that purity rings is (was?) a thing
- Thread starter AuthenticM
- Start date
- Status
Tons of people hold beliefs about wanting to be pure. I don't think that in and of itself is bad. I can't speak to the other part of your statement. It seems like conjecture and hyperbole.
It's just angst from someone with a bone to pick with """""""murica""""""""
never mind that purity rings are sold world wide: https://www.etsy.com/uk/search?q=purity+ring
never mind that purity rings aren't common in the least in the US
it's all about "LMFAO MURICA"
EatinOlives
Member
Holy shit
Yeah, this is what the other poster was saying, I can see that. I'm not sure I'd call that 'dangerous and deeper problems' though. I guess my position is that some of these people are doing this because they want to and others maybe because they don't know better. I think the rings and the ideas are innocuous on a surface level, as in conceptually I don't have an issue with it, but provided more information I can make a judgement to see if they're harmful or not, but it doesn't make sense to me in this context to make that judgement from such little information.
It seems like a witch hunt to me (the few people in the thread who hate the idea) contingent on external factors that may or may not be present, and while I understand the reaction and wanting to jump against the notion, I don't think the purity ring in and of itself is enough evidence that wrong doing is going on.
Speedy Blue Dude
Banned
I think their cute.
A good friend of mine wears once she received from boyfriend when they were 15 (19 now). He recently left on his Mission, and She's worn it and stayed faithful to him these 19 months while she waits for him to return. It's really cute.
I wore one until I was 16. Certain opportunities come along and sometimes you gotta make decisions about what you wear. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
A good friend of mine wears once she received from boyfriend when they were 15 (19 now). He recently left on his Mission, and She's worn it and stayed faithful to him these 19 months while she waits for him to return. It's really cute.
I wore one until I was 16. Certain opportunities come along and sometimes you gotta make decisions about what you wear. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
I get this distinction. My main concern from them, is they are presented as a sentimental gesture in committing oneself to a purity as prescribed by a particular world view. It's only because I am opposed to propagating theological explanations for the world that I take issue with this. The sentiment is being done as a gesture to reaffirm those views. But they are also often done to please one's parent, who is putting an exorbitant amount of value and focus on sexually purity. Where sexual purity is valued to such an extent, that losing it would be a tragedy and would be seen with disdain.
It's a small gesture, that often sits atop something that is intrinsically deceitful. Even though it's done out of good intentions, there is something insidious about the propagation of these expectations and the continued appeal to be angelic.
How? Somebody wants to wear a symbol because of their religious or personal decision not to have sex before marriage; I don't really see what's gross or otherwise about that. I think it's very cool that some people want to hold off on sex, or don't base their whole relationship solely around or in obsession with it.
This is presuming that someone's making an active decision to wear one though, and not being forced into it. There is a distinction for me, but I didn't grow up around people who were forced into religion or spiritual belief, but rather it was something they chose, so I have a different perspective than some may. Also known a few people who were not religious or spiritual, but wore them for personal reasons and actually maintained their virginity until marriage. Far as I know at least.
The pledging purity to your father stuff I find creepy though.
The Albatross
Member
Op, why do you care what someone else does with their sexuality or how they choose to display it?
Not that lifestyle is for me, but why is it weird for nick Jonas to want to to wait to have sex? Should he be forced to have sex because you think he should? Should a woman who wants to wait for the right person to have sex with be forced to have sex with someone else because you think she should? Because it's just weird: she should have sex with who you think she should have sex with.
Not that lifestyle is for me, but why is it weird for nick Jonas to want to to wait to have sex? Should he be forced to have sex because you think he should? Should a woman who wants to wait for the right person to have sex with be forced to have sex with someone else because you think she should? Because it's just weird: she should have sex with who you think she should have sex with.
Stumpokapow
listen to the mad man
are you supposed to put one back on after you get divorced? does that like restore your purity or something?
Could you clarify what you mean by propagating theological explanations for the world in this context?
Hmm that's what I mean when I say the position comes off as conjecture. When you say 'often done to please one's parents' , I'm not really that's a solid foundation without some data. Perhaps it' because my own experience is contradictory, but the people I've met who took purity vows did it for themselves. In one case, completely antithetical to what their parent wanted! I think your second part has some merit, but I'm not sure everybody who thinks like this of themselves, thinks like this for others. They may want to stay pure and wouldn't mind marrying someone who isn't a virgin, and some may want a virgin, but I feel like it's a hard call to make. I'm assuming that this vow means the person making it won't have sex before marriage, not that their partner has to be the same. This has been my experience with people who took these vows, so while I'm not claiming this is what happens all the time, there's enough information here for me to place my position at a neutral level.
I kind of feel like this leaves out those who want to do it because they want to have a certain kind of intimacy with their partner.
I also feel like there needs to be a balance of given information vs reaction. There's little information about the notion of the purity ring and I think a lot of people's uneasiness about is is due to their own preconceptions of what that gesture as you say, entails instead of actual real world experience or facts. I mean, that's why I can understand why people don't like it, I have a similar uneasy feeling, but I don't think that justifies a reaction more than 'I don't care for it'. Of course, individuals are free to react to this stuff however they please.
Well I hope it's at least clear that my disdain for the practice pertains to a particular employment of it. Which I dare say is more representative of their original implementation and purpose. I'm not going to split nuances over someone that is voluntarily taking up the practice. I still may argue that they are doing it out of a misplaced conviction. But say they drop the conviction but still do it for the pragmatics of intimacy with their partner. Well fine, that is the person's prerogative. But at some point these hypothetical cases stray from what I'm actually addressing. It seems you are more concerned with handing an olive branch to those who take up the practice of their own accord. That's in my peripheral vision, and of no concern. It's when the practice is done, because someone is told it is a necessary act in accordance to theological appeals. I see no reason to withhold this criticism, just because people may employ it with more self-autonomy than other cases. I don't speak to them, and holding my tongue would be acting as an apologist via inaction.
Yeah, I'm not saying withhold your criticism, just to question if the criticism you're claiming is weighed accurately with the information presented to you is all.
I like how when every Disney star leaves Disney they basically go off the wall... Oh look I'm so innocent and pure...then BOOM, the show ends.
See the casts/stars:
Raven Symone (I don't like black people!)
Orlando Brown (Stoner)
Anneliese van der Pol (DWI)
Anne Hathaway (Showing her tits everywhere, really into sex scenes)
Shia LaBeouf (Just a total nutcase now)
Nick Jonas (a total sex symbol, often doing gay sex scenes)
Dylan and Cole Sprouse (Quit acting, posting dick pics on the internet)
Miley Cyrus (A fucking crazy bitch now...drugs, twerking, wreckingball etc.)
See the casts/stars:
Raven Symone (I don't like black people!)
Orlando Brown (Stoner)
Anneliese van der Pol (DWI)
Anne Hathaway (Showing her tits everywhere, really into sex scenes)
Shia LaBeouf (Just a total nutcase now)
Nick Jonas (a total sex symbol, often doing gay sex scenes)
Dylan and Cole Sprouse (Quit acting, posting dick pics on the internet)
Miley Cyrus (A fucking crazy bitch now...drugs, twerking, wreckingball etc.)
this is, frankly, a really weird post
Gherid__lacksGPS
Banned
Does your ass ever get jealous of the shit that comes out of your mouth?
Allforce
Member
I have two nieces that wear them, super home-schooled fundamental Christian family, they've done the "Purity Ball". The oldest is in college now, 20 years old and still wears it. she got hers at like age 12. The youngest is about 10 now and got hers about age 8.
It's fucking weird, I don't care what anyone says. You're too young to understand sexuality at those ages and to have your dad take you to some "ball' and present you as some princess who receives a ring that you vow to wear as a reason to not fuck is crazy. Nobody knows what the hell sex is about at that age, you're just going through your parents weird customs.
It's fucking weird, I don't care what anyone says. You're too young to understand sexuality at those ages and to have your dad take you to some "ball' and present you as some princess who receives a ring that you vow to wear as a reason to not fuck is crazy. Nobody knows what the hell sex is about at that age, you're just going through your parents weird customs.
Jeffolation
Banned
Post #15 contains the most appropriate gif usage I've seen in some time.
In my experience growing up in one of the reddest of red states in the US, it's always been seen as something cute middle school kids do when they get their first bf/gf. Kind of like one of those, "aw, look at what little johnny/jenny is doing now! remember when we were that naive?" kind of things. Kids usually grow out of it once they hit highschool.
Personally, I've always kind of looked at it as an act of imitation by the kids to mimic their parents wearing wedding rings because they're too young to understand that relationships are something that generally comes and goes for quite a while before you get married.
Just in case your plans don't work out, for the record, you will not be a piece of used tape, who will find it difficult to form a strong and stable marriage. It is very possible to have a strong and happy marriage, even if you're not a virgin when you meet your future spouse. I completely respect your personal convictions, but please don't go too hard on yourself, if it doesn't work out (we're all human, after all).
Sixfortyfive
He who pursues two rabbits gets two rabbits.
First time I've ever seen a non-mocking use of that used tape analogy.
Ivan Amiibo
Banned
People used them to keep them crawlers out
Are there absolutely any reliable studies which show that abstinence prior to marriage increases the happiness of the partners or the duration of a marriage? I don't give a damn about beliefs, I care about what's actually true. Stunting people's sexual development because of some warped view of them being used tape is almost certainly doing them psychological harm.
What we do know about abstinent only lifestyles: the children generally know nothing about sex, are less likely to use a condom, and are more likely to be teenage parents.
evilromero
Member
I think it's even less "wait till marriage" and more the parent's have been sucked into the sexist narrative of staying pure, which is more to suppress a woman's personal choices and rights. I have a feeling that if most of these parents (that are responsible for someone sharing and teaching these kind of ideological concepts), I'd even dare to guess fathers more, had their way then there precious little angel girls would simply never have sex and just have a miraculous conception without her needing to taint her sacred virginity.
Always-honest
Banned
Are that people who just do oral and anal before marriage?
Seth Enosh
Member
Are there studies that show otherwise? Google indicates there are some claims out there that correlate premarital abstinence with lower divorce rates. Of course, those who are premaritally abstinent are likely to have religious beliefs against divorce and must also be pretty determined to follow those beliefs if they make it to marriage a virgin.
http://www.popline.org/node/330910
It is speculated that the unobserved variables that selectively protect virgins from the risk of divorce reflect a set of traditional attitudes about marriage. For example, women who adhere to traditional values and expectations early in life may be programmed to postpone sexual activity until after marriage and to reject divorce as an option if they are unhappy or dissatisfied. Studies that explore long-standing attitudes toward the institution of marriage are urged to confirm or refute this hypothesis.
It was true with a bunch of Catholic girls I knew growing up. Apparently Jesus only cares if you take it in your mouth or pussy, he doesn't care about anal.
Sub_Level
wants to fuck an Asian grill.
Its completely innocuous.
Let people practice religion how they want to. If they get indoctrinated by family or institutions, that's their problem. Believe it or not, even people who grow up in such environments have the agency to make choices and find out for themselves what to believe in. Don't be such a nanny. You don't know whats best for everyone.
Let people practice religion how they want to. If they get indoctrinated by family or institutions, that's their problem. Believe it or not, even people who grow up in such environments have the agency to make choices and find out for themselves what to believe in. Don't be such a nanny. You don't know whats best for everyone.
D1renegade
Member
SolidSnakesMyStepDad
Member
Yea exactly this. I grew up in the southern U.S. for almost all my life in very religious areas and I have never ever once seen anyone wear a purity ring.
In middle school we had this big abstinence pledge event that we had to have permission slips to go to and I forgot to get mine signed so I was like the only one of my friends who didn't sign the pledge. Now I'm pretty sure I'm the only one who's still a virgin. Funny how that works.
afternoon delight
Member
Don't worry, the rings melt like in the Hobbit when you unleash a user's blazing hot streams of thick
SolidSnakesMyStepDad
Member
Yes because all Americans think the exact same thing. It's not a big deal because it doesn't really exist. Not anymore at least.
sixteen-bit
Member
is that where the band got their name
Yeah 'cus we gonna go to war over purity rings.
- Status