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I was born a minimalist, and I hate it

Ionian

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Apr 25, 2013
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Well, what I’m trying to say is that it’s not about the physical world or the stuff you have. It’s about what that does in your head space. That’s the important part. And for me, I realized that trying to be mr. efficient and the picture of perfection ultimately made me less happy and worry more.

Since then, I’ve purposely tried to be messy and get out of that, as a way to sort of rebel against this thing I’ve had in my head my whole life, and hopefully feel more liberated than minimalism ever made me feel.

I’ve been getting way better about it recently. here’s a pic of my creative space in my apartment...

i feel better now than I used to. I feel more creative and care free than I ever did trying to be a “minimalist”. I still clean up and organize, lightly, I just don’t obsess over it anymore.

my biggest issue now is wanting to make money and work towards big purchases like a house or property. It’s been a slow process, but I’m getting there a little bit everyday.

That isn't even that bad, my place is worse.

But get rid of the steel drum though before you neighbours murder you.
 
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Tesseract

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it's def more important what's going on inside your head

your most immediate dwelling is often an echo of your state of mind and kinds of things you collect (or not) tend to represent some subset of your personality

what and why you like a particular thing usually has some significant history since we tend to imbue objects or totems with memories over time

the materialist life is pretty hollow tho, inextricably tied to nihilism in some ways but minimalism can also be w/o meaning or purpose and lead to existentialist suffering via depersonalization

as the saying goes, cleanliness is next to godliness but godliness is next to psychosis
 

TeezzyD

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I'd like to own less shit. I wish I were kool like Kev Kev Kev Kev tbh. I always end up hoarding like books, movies, and games, and it's so stupid. Even if I end up ditching it all, I just buy it back. Its a character flaw.
 

Kev Kev

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I'd like to own less shit. I wish I were kool like Kev Kev Kev Kev tbh. I always end up hoarding like books, movies, and games, and it's so stupid. Even if I end up ditching it all, I just buy it back. Its a character flaw.
And I need a little of that in my lifestyle! I’ve really come a long way in the last year and a half or so. Since cobra Kai is on the mind, I’ve been thinking a lot about how balance is key. I guess I thought I’d have it all figured out by 33. But I have still have so much to learn, and I think that the learning and balancing process never really stops. You have to keep working on yourself everyday.

 

TeezzyD

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And I need a little of that in my lifestyle! I’ve really come a long way in the last year and a half or so. Since cobra Kai is on the mind, I’ve been thinking a lot about how balance is key. I guess I thought I’d have it all figured out by 33. But I have still have so much to learn, and I think that the learning and balancing process never really stops. You have to keep working on yourself everyday.


Feel free to take some of my bullshit, hermano. It gives me anxiety. Like I just see "busy-ness" everywhere I go. Even if I try to keep it organized.

I'm currently renting a family home until I can take it over proper. For better or worse, I have a lot of that family members belongings in storage. I just wanna pop it like a big pimple. Gives me lots of anxiety, but I love my home at this point. Been here for 5 years. Best I can do is keep it exceedingly clean.

Like you said, balance.
 
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TeezzyD

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Kev, pardon me if its been addressed, but how exactly is it that you feel that the desire to acquire more belongings is going to benefit you? Just like external motivation to proceed in life?

Minimalism seems so clean and relaxing. Being able to prioritize on what matters. At least to me. But I'm saddened to hear its causing you distress
 

mango drank

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May 12, 2009
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I remember seeing a documentary about minimalism on Netflix. Except the documentary itself was fairly minimalist, and very hands-off. It just presented individual case studies of minimalist people, their backstories and current minimalist setups, and didn't really comment on them or try to interpret what was going on psychologically. So each person's story came off like:
- I lost my wife ... therefore minimalism.
- I got over a terrible disease and almost died ... therefore minimalism.
- My life sucks ... therefore minimalism.

Each person's turning to minimalism felt to me almost like a form of suicide, except without them realizing that's what they were doing. Life is messy, therefore less mess = less life, until eventually ... ??? It's like the Family Guy clip posted earlier--the last thing to get rid of is yourself.
 

Tesseract

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I remember seeing a documentary about minimalism on Netflix. Except the documentary itself was fairly minimalist, and very hands-off. It just presented individual case studies of minimalist people, their backstories and current minimalist setups, and didn't really comment on them or try to interpret what was going on psychologically. So each person's story came off like:
- I lost my wife ... therefore minimalism.
- I got over a terrible disease and almost died ... therefore minimalism.
- My life sucks ... therefore minimalism.

Each person's turning to minimalism felt to me almost like a form of suicide, except without them realizing that's what they were doing. Life is messy, therefore less mess = less life, until eventually ... ??? It's like the Family Guy clip posted earlier--the last thing to get rid of is yourself.
yer prolly already fucked beyond repair if you end up in some kinda lifestyle docu series

to me it's about avoiding things i don't need, trapdoors to pathology and weakness insofar as putting value in the teeming of lifeless atoms

tldr limitation breeds creativity, by all means go forth and collect shit if that's what makes you happy
 
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Nov 13, 2016
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I disagree with your idea of what minimalism is. It's not something you're born with, but something you can teach yourself. There's no set rules as to what a minimalist exactly is anyway. Is it someone with white furniture and fake plants? Is it one of those #vanlife vloggers? Is it someone who can fit all their belongings in a backpack? Is it a dude who owns nothing but a laptop and a cardboard box? There's a lot of different levels of minimalism. What I took away from it, is that people generally own way more stuf than is necessary, and that owning and buying stuff takes over a large part of their lives. Cutting back on that, even a little bit, can definitely be a positive change for many.

I became (or am still becoming) something of a minimalist and it's helped me tremendously. I didn't really become a minimalist to achieve a goal or to use my time more effectively. I'm just lazy and having less stuff means less cleaning and organizing. It also means saving money on crap you don't need, while having more money available for what's important, and to save up for later.

Seems to me like your perfectionist side and your obsession with efficiency have clouded your vision. I'm a bit of a perfectionist myself, but not to the point that I won't take my time to achieve the desired results, or that I won't forgive myself for making mistakes. Hopefully you can learn to cut yourself some slack.
 
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TheMan

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See a therapist. Seriously. If being a "minimalist" (and there seems to be more than just that going on) is causing you this much grief and pain then see someone who can help.
 
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Ballthyrm

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Well Kev Kev Kev Kev , I also have these tendencies and the way I countered them is by being a maximalist.
I always ask myself where I spend my time and how it could be made more comfortable or better utilized.

When you start thinking that way, you realize maybe I need a better desk Chair, maybe I should call X more often, concentrate on what you like and expand from there.

You will slowly build up rationalization for a lot of things, you need for x or y.
 
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Kev Kev

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Kev, pardon me if its been addressed, but how exactly is it that you feel that the desire to acquire more belongings is going to benefit you? Just like external motivation to proceed in life?

Minimalism seems so clean and relaxing. Being able to prioritize on what matters. At least to me. But I'm saddened to hear its causing you distress
See a therapist. Seriously. If being a "minimalist" (and there seems to be more than just that going on) is causing you this much grief and pain then see someone who can help.
I keep trying to respond to this but I don’t know how to say it man. They are really great questions that I’m going to think about a lot. I embraced being this way for a long time, and it was really good for me! but after a while it became too much. And if I wasn’t perfect i would throw the whole day away. So I tried to change things up. It’s helped a bit. But I still have these tendencies to think I need to be perfect, while at the same time feeling like I don’t deserve to get TOO much of what I want... I’m a weirdo. Hard to explain I guess.

I’ve just never treated my self you know (TREAT YO’ SELF 🤣) like I felt it was too fancy for me or I didn’t deserve nice things. Perhaps I don’t think highly enough of my worth. I used to take the blame for things I didn’t do in school, get detentions and written up and everything, often times bc I felt the other person would suffer more from it than me, since I was already kind of a bad kid. I guess I’m thinking the proper correction is to go in the other direction, to make myself WANT things, and want to treat myself.

Maybe I’m wrong 🤷‍♂️ Maybe it’s just a mental thing I’ve never addressed and it has a lot in common with this thing we call minimalism. It was good for me to write this out and see the responses though. Ive got a lot to think about, and I’m going to go through with some therapy sessions and see where it goes.

thanks for all the feedback GAF homies. You cunts are aight
 
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TeezzyD

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I keep trying to respond to this but I don’t know how to say it man. They are really great questions that I’m going to think about a lot. I embraced being this way for a long time, and it was really good for me! I’ve just never treated my self you know (TREAT YO’ SELF 🤣) like I felt it was too fancy for me or I didn’t deserve nice things. Perhaps I don’t think highly enough of my worth. I used to take the blame for things I didn’t do in school, get detentions and written up and everything, often times bc I felt the other person would suffer more from it than me, since I was already kind of a bad kid. I guess I’m thinking the proper correction is to go in the other direction, to make myself WANT things, and want to treat myself.

Maybe I’m wrong 🤷‍♂️ Maybe it’s just a mental thing I’ve never addressed and it has a lot in common with this thing we call minimalism. It was good for me to write this out and see the responses though. Ive got a lot to think about, and I’m going to go through with some therapy sessions and see where it goes.

thanks for all the feedback GAF homies. You cunts are aight

If anything aspire just to buy nice things that'll last forever. It's an amazing quality to have, to not just buy dumb bullshit all the time. There's so many people out there who make tons of money and have horrendous spending habits and therefore live like chumps.

I'm trying to avoid that myself tbh
 
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-Minsc-

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OP is really about perfectionism and optimization so you can live life with minimal overheads. The YT minimalists are more about getting rid of stuff. There's just so much shit you're supposed to have these days. I can see the appeal of just throwing it all out and to stop consooming product. But I don't agree with Kev Kev Kev Kev here. I love optimizing stuff. I live for it.
Perfectionist is what came to my mind.

Well, what I’m trying to say is that it’s not about the physical world or the stuff you have. It’s about what that does in your head space. That’s the important part. And for me, I realized that trying to be mr. efficient and the picture of perfection ultimately made me less happy and worry more.

Since then, I’ve purposely tried to be messy and get out of that, as a way to sort of rebel against this thing I’ve had in my head my whole life, and hopefully feel more liberated than minimalism ever made me feel.

I’ve been getting way better about it recently. here’s a pic of my creative space in my apartment...


i feel better now than I used to. I feel more creative and care free than I ever did trying to be a “minimalist”. I still clean up and organize, lightly, I just don’t obsess over it anymore.

my biggest issue now is wanting to make money and work towards big purchases like a house or property. It’s been a slow process, but I’m getting there a little bit everyday.

I envy how neat and tidy that space is. I look at my desk and see a vomit of papers, bills, books, dust, etc. Making my bed in the morning can be a challenge.

In a way I'd say I'm a lazy perfectionist. The desire to be perfect is there but I simply never come close and can be hard on myself for not getting there. I do believe my desire to be perfect is a learned trait and my natural state is to be lazy. Living without feeling the need to be efficient seems like a dream to me. Alas, I live in a finite world.
 
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Jan 11, 2019
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Leave politics behind on the non-politics boards.
It's best if everyone became a minimalist now and sell off whatever unnecessary shit they have before the IMF forces your government to take it away as part of their inclusive debt repayment program.
 
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I don’t think I could ever do it. I’m a collector of things ranging from useful or entertaining, to worthless but cute. I just can’t help it.
 
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CrankyJay™

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Balance, my dude. My wife is that person who holds onto everything thinking she may need it, and I fucking hate it. The shit we own does become a burden when it becomes too much.
 
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Kev Kev

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Balance, my dude. My wife is that person who holds onto everything thinking she may need it, and I fucking hate it. The shit we own does become a burden when it becomes too much.
youre right, and thank you. i realized by the end of the day i posted this thread that this is something i needed to address a long time ago. and balance is the key. im getting some dental work done and other medical stuff taken care of atm. gonna look into therapy and possibly talking to a psychiatrist as well.i think for the msot part im doing all right, and i just need to relax, but some professional help would probably benefit me a lot. and if anything, it doesnt hurt to try.
 

CrankyJay™

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youre right, and thank you. i realized by the end of the day i posted this thread that this is something i needed to address a long time ago. and balance is the key. im getting some dental work done and other medical stuff taken care of atm. gonna look into therapy and possibly talking to a psychiatrist as well.i think for the msot part im doing all right, and i just need to relax, but some professional help would probably benefit me a lot. and if anything, it doesnt hurt to try.

Honestly it's pretty much solid advice for everything in our lives. Diet, work, stock portfolios....now if only I could be mindful and take my own advice. Just wanted to chime in and say you're not alone in what you're dealing with. We've all got our shit I guess.
 

Tschumi

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I was a minimalist until i started dating a girl who had been severely damaged by an awful childhood.. looking back it's equal parts sad and scary how quickly i started clinging to things in a fetal position for comfort lol, my steam library padded out a bit, as did my paunch and garbage bins... I feel like I'm ready to start defaulting back to those former times though.. let's hope i never meet that girl's dad or my recovering mentality will be recovering in prison for life :p (no, not really)
 
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