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[Kev Kev]

How often did you drink when you were on the wagon? How bad did it get? Were you functional or did you drink so much you'd get sick and blank out a lot? Just curious because I struggled with alcohol for a while.

started drinking around 13 or 14, but didnt have regular access till 16. between 16 and 22 i drank a few times a week. it was pretty normal drinking for that age, i really didnt have any problems other than a bad hangover.

i was working at a liquor store around 22 when i started to take shots and pound beers by myself after work. it a near everyday ritual. then i started taking shots right before i left work, then i started doing them during work (just a couple 99 bananas usually, maybe another two later on, if it was a night shift). i did that pretty regularly, but i had a girlfriend at the time who wasnt crazy about my drinking so it wasnt every single day.

somewhere in there my gf dumped me and i started drinking pretty much everyday. i was about 25 at this point. eventually i graduated to a half pint (200ml) of vodka, and i'd usually drink a 32 oz miller high life with that. then i dropped the beer and was a pretty steady 2 half pint of vodka every afternoon. keep in mind thats 400ml. a bottle of vodka is 750ml. so bascially, i drank a half a bottle of vodka every afternoon from age 25 to 27.

eventually i graduated up to a whole bottle every afternoon for a year and a half or so (this was when it was at its worst). i didnt always quite drink the whole bottle though, and would often finish it first thing the next morning to help me feel a little better (although you dont get bad hangovers when you drink that much that regularly.... you just kinda feel like crap 24/7 lol). sometimes i even drink as much as 1L of vodka if i had the whole day off and started in the morning.

it was by this point that i was drinking all day every starting in the morning. however, i did have a full time job and i never drank or was drunk at work. that may be the biggest reason why i didnt get more physically addicted than i did. but when i wasnt at work, it was drinkin time

sometime around28 or 29 i started to slow down. i'd qwuit for months at a time and pick it back up. start, stop, start, stop... just like that for a few more years, then july 1st 2018 i finally did it. i tried and failed a million times though. the key was to never give up (lol like the asian man in the video lol)

as far as how bad it got... i lived like in fifth all the time bc i was too hammered to clean anything, my health was god awful, i broke my phone at some point and just went without a cell phone for 6 months bc i didnt care or was too drunk to go through with the process of getting it fixed or getting a new one, i was driving drunk all the fucking time and just in general i was a POS and i knew it and i hated myself and i wanted to die, lol. so yeah it got bad.

sick? uuuhhh no not really. when you drink as much as i did, you dont get too drunk or sick, you dont get the spins anymore, youdont even get hangovers really. the worst that would happen is i would throw up sometimes in the middle of the next day but other than just generally feeling like shit all the time lol no i didnt get sick often

and yes i would get black out drunk every night. if i was drinking iw as blackin out. one time i woke up in the bathroom with no clothes on (i lived with a room mate at the time lol). another time i came to on the back porch and when i went inside the house was trashed. guess i went off on a tear or something. i dunno. it was insane

 

[Grinchy]

Nice work!

I feel very lucky that I hate alcohol. My first time getting smashed drunk was when I was like 15. I partied really hard in high school and for like 4-5 years after. But by the time I was like 23ish, I was just done. I don't know what happened, but it's like a switch was flipped. Suddenly the feeling of being drunk just makes me think of being sweaty, swampy, and tired with spending the next day wanting to puke. And I think this is lucky as hell, because I easily could have turned into an alcoholic if I had kept drinking.

Friends I used to party with all the time still drink hard and regularly to this day. I just can't be around it anymore. When you're 22 and getting kicked out of a bar for acting like an idiot while you're drunk, it's expected. When you're 36 and proud of getting kicked out of the bar for acting like a drunk idiot, it's pathetic.

 

[TheContact]

started drinking around 13 or 14, but didnt have regular access till 16. between 16 and 22 i drank a few times a week. it was pretty normal drinking for that age, i really didnt have any problems other than a bad hangover.

i was working at a liquor store around 22 when i started to take shots and pound beers by myself after work. it a near everyday ritual. then i started taking shots right before i left work, then i started doing them during work (just a couple 99 bananas usually, maybe another two later on, if it was a night shift). i did that pretty regularly, but i had a girlfriend at the time who wasnt crazy about my drinking so it wasnt every single day.

somewhere in there my gf dumped me and i started drinking pretty much everyday. i was about 25 at this point. eventually i graduated to a half pint (200ml) of vodka, and i'd usually drink a 32 oz miller high life with that. then i dropped the beer and was a pretty steady 2 half pint of vodka every afternoon. keep in mind thats 400ml. a bottle of vodka is 750ml. so bascially, i drank a half a bottle of vodka every afternoon from age 25 to 27.

eventually i graduated up to a whole bottle every afternoon for a year and a half or so (this was when it was at its worst). i didnt always quite drink the whole bottle though, and would often finish it first thing the next morning to help me feel a little better (although you dont get bad hangovers when you drink that much that regularly.... you just kinda feel like crap 24/7 lol). sometimes i even drink as much as 1L of vodka if i had the whole day off and started in the morning.

it was by this point that i was drinking all day every starting in the morning. however, i did have a full time job and i never drank or was drunk at work. that may be the biggest reason why i didnt get more physically addicted than i did. but when i wasnt at work, it was drinkin time

sometime around28 or 29 i started to slow down. i'd qwuit for months at a time and pick it back up. start, stop, start, stop... just like that for a few more years, then july 1st 2018 i finally did it. i tried and failed a million times though. the key was to never give up (lol like the asian man in the video lol)

as far as how bad it got... i lived like in fifth all the time bc i was too hammered to clean anything, my health was god awful, i broke my phone at some point and just went without a cell phone for 6 months bc i didnt care or was too drunk to go through with the process of getting it fixed or getting a new one, i was driving drunk all the fucking time and just in general i was a POS and i knew it and i hated myself and i wanted to die, lol. so yeah it got bad.

sick? uuuhhh no not really. when you drink as much as i did, you dont get too drunk or sick, you dont get the spins anymore, youdont even get hangovers really. the worst that would happen is i would throw up sometimes in the middle of the next day but other than just generally feeling like shit all the time lol no i didnt get sick often

and yes i would get black out drunk every night. if i was drinking iw as blackin out. one time i woke up in the bathroom with no clothes on (i lived with a room mate at the time lol). another time i came to on the back porch and when i went inside the house was trashed. guess i went off on a tear or something. i dunno. it was insane

Damn that's crazy. Good for you for your 2 years. Did you do AA or what was the factor that made you look at what was happening and decide you needed to stop?

 

[Cycom]

I was never an addict, but I had serious issues with certain substances in my late teens/early 20’s. I wasted many years on “fun,” not realizing at the time how foolish I was.

I am now in my late 30’s. Wife and 4 kids. Wouldn’t trade my life for anyone else’s.

For those of you looking to quit smoking read the book Allen Carr’s Easy Way to Quit Smoking. I used this to quit cold turkey without any issues (no joke!) over 10 years ago. It really works. For those of you struggling with addiction I sincerely hope that you escape it.

 

[Kev Kev]

Damn that's crazy. Good for you for your 2 years. Did you do AA or what was the factor that made you look at what was happening and decide you needed to stop?

thank you! no AA, although i've heard that is extremely helpful for some people, it just wasn't for me.

there were so many factors for me wanting to stop. health, money, family, friendships, relationships... everything really. it negatively effects every part of your life bc your always fucking loaded lol.

if i had to pick a number one reason (this is going to get really cheesy lol)... i had a writing teacher somewhere in those years (i was in and out of school through all that, im actually finishing up my last class to finally get that AA this summer! only 5 weeks away) and he taught me how to analyze stories and characters, something id never done. i usually just took a story at face value and walked away form it never considering it. sometimes, id even walk away totally confused about what the hell the movie was about. i was just really really bad at analysis lol. its because i was aloof! i was oblivious to the world around, the good or the bad, just all of it. i was a dumby and never considered anything other than me and the next 5 seconds of my life. i couldnt see the big picture.

then he taught me how to analyze my own character and my own story and blah blah blah. he was so cool too. he was this big, tall, old black guy who was chill af and wore a cool but-at-the-same-time-kinda-funny-looking hat. he would say things like he loved us and he wanted to see us be successful (which was weird at first, but then it started to feel really nice, if that makes sense), and he taught us how to open our eyes to the beautiful things in life and find our calling. it was truly an amazing experience and the biggest factor in me starting to turn things around. since then ive been able to analyze all things better. movies, music, television, my life, other peoples lives... you name, he really helped me open my eyes and be able to read between the lines.. it was a valuable experience on many levels.

i remember during one of his particularly inspirational lectures, he got down to the point he was trying to make about how we all have some kind of hurt in our hearts, and for whatever reason he looked me dead in the eye and simply said "it's ok." cheesy i know, but i'll never forget that, and i always remember it when ever im getting frustrated or feel like a failure.

 

[Yoshi]

Congratulations and keep it up!

 

[God Enel]

Congrats brotha. Happy to see you killing it for 2 years. At least 50 more to go my friend. Keep it up

 

[Patriots7]

Congrats OP!

I hate my drinking. 2015-2019 was really absurd.

Would love to commit to sobriety, but not there yet. Managed to cut it out during the week, which has been really helpful for my state of mind. Hopefully the first step towards full sobriety.

 

[Kev Kev]

thanks for all the love GAF! you guys are amazing. other online communities don't hold a candle to this one. i really appreciate all the congrats and support from each and every one of you.

i created a Sober OT over on communities side. feel free to come share your stories and support. don't be afraid to open up the vault, it's a judgement free topic after all.

Sober GAF |OT| One day at a time

Hey there, Gaffers. Trying to get clean? Need support to help stay sober? Just want to help support other Gaffers on their sobriety journey's? You've come to the right place. Welcome to Sober GAF. A couple rules and comments... First and foremost, no judgment ITT. You may contribute...

www.neogaf.com

 

[The Scrivener]

Last time I drank I got so drunk I couldn't drive the next day to take the kids to see Toy Story 4 with the tickets I prepaid for, lol the guilt. (I made up for it the following week lol.)

That was about a year ago. As a Buddhist, I also had a long period of abstinence in my early to late twenties. It was a woman that started it up again both times. I'm weak.

Alcohol fucked me up too many times, too many mistakes, too many secrets. Don't drink, it's a waste.

Now I forcefully don't drink, I mean, I make sure I say no. Well done Kev mate.

 

[DeepBreath87]

Congrats. I'm at 20 months from all substances. Alcohol wasn't my first choice (opiates), but like many people, it was my fall back option. I didn't spend a full week completely sober from the time I was 19 until I was 31. Its a great thing. I haven't been in this good of a place mentally in a solid decade. And physically I'm at at least as good a place as I've been since I was about 22. Keep it going. Whatever is working for you, keep doing it.

 

[teezzy]

Congrats K Kev

I used to love drugs. Now, in my late 20s, I couldn't imagine getting high for fun. Sounds awful. I cant even remember the last time I tasted alcohol or smoked a square.

More power to ya brother

 

[Ememee]

Great fucking job man. Coincidentally, on God, today is my 2 years and 6 months of being sober lol.

I saw a lot of similarities in what you said. I didn’t go to AA. I thought if anything it’d make me want to drink more.

And I only planned to go 2 years clean (I originally did it for my ex and we ended things in November) but..still here. Still clean. I never tell myself “YOU CAN NEVER DRINK AGAIN!!!” But at the same time, I have no desire to. So I still don’t.

Won’t lie, quarantine’s been rough and I’ve actually began considering AA. Not just to vent but truly to listen to others.

Thanks for making that community, I’ll check it out. And keep up the good fight, man.

 

[Kev Kev]

Great fucking job man. Coincidentally, on God, today is my 2 years and 6 months of being sober lol.

I saw a lot of similarities in what you said. I didn’t go to AA. I thought if anything it’d make me want to drink more.

And I only planned to go 2 years clean (I originally did it for my ex and we ended things in November) but..still here. Still clean. I never tell myself “YOU CAN NEVER DRINK AGAIN!!!” But at the same time, I have no desire to. So I still don’t.

Won’t lie, quarantine’s been rough and I’ve actually began considering AA. Not just to vent but truly to listen to others.

Thanks for making that community, I’ll check it out. And keep up the good fight, man.

thank you so much, and hey you too man! i hear AA can be awesome. if youre considering it id recommend definitely checking it out. worse that happens is you waste an evening with nice people who just want to promote positivity and lift your spirits. kind of a win win i think. good luck to you!

 

[DeepBreath87]

Great fucking job man. Coincidentally, on God, today is my 2 years and 6 months of being sober lol.

I saw a lot of similarities in what you said. I didn’t go to AA. I thought if anything it’d make me want to drink more.

And I only planned to go 2 years clean (I originally did it for my ex and we ended things in November) but..still here. Still clean. I never tell myself “YOU CAN NEVER DRINK AGAIN!!!” But at the same time, I have no desire to. So I still don’t.

Won’t lie, quarantine’s been rough and I’ve actually began considering AA. Not just to vent but truly to listen to others.

Thanks for making that community, I’ll check it out. And keep up the good fight, man.

Don’t be too scared of AA. I heard the “cult” stuff for years and wrote it off, but that was a mistake. There’s a real variety of meetings and maybe you can find a good group that helps you. My experience has been almost totally positive. I’m not hardcore about it, but it’s a good vibe most of the time.

 

[Halo is Back]

 

[Kev Kev]

Don’t be too scared of AA. I heard the “cult” stuff for years and wrote it off, but that was a mistake. There’s a real variety of meetings and maybe you can find a good group that helps you. My experience has been almost totally positive. I’m not hardcore about it, but it’s a good vibe most of the time.

agreed. ive heard a lot of good stories about AA. i always say, if youre seriously considering going, then do it bc you have nothing to lose. im pretty sure that you dont even have to talk if you dont want to, but it can really help to be there and just listen to other stories.

 

[and 3 others]

 

[ClanOfNone]

I credit AA for my recovery, it was the absolute last thing that I tried and it was the only one that worked.
You really do have to search for a group/sponsor that is a good fit for you though. I let religious hang ups keep me from it for a long time. A lot of AA'ers are really into faith, and that's fine. As my sponsor used to say, "Take what you need and leave the rest in the rooms."
I didn't find god in AA, but I did find sobriety and a MUCH better insight into myself and the disease of addiction.

 

[Rentahamster]

Good to hear when people can take back control of that cocktail of emotions we call a brain.


I'm sure it wasn't easy.

 

[22•22]

2 more nights baby

I think i posted this in the wrong sober thread? If so. Sorry Kev. Didn't mean to steal your thunder. Which could not happen anyways, but you know what I mean

Kev Kev

 

[Kev Kev]

2 more nights baby

hell yeah keep it going

 

[Lunarorbit]

Oh man that's great news. My wife is in rehab for drinking right now. She started around the same time as you kev kev. She used to make drinks for her dad (actually just called me mid sentence) when she was young.

We're both 40 and so are a lot of my friends. Unfortunately lots of them are big drinkers so it makes me not want to hang out with them all that much. Even when I smoke weed it gets to the point where they are on another level and it just gets too ridiculous for fun. Plus a few of them have major health problems from drinking like distended bellys from the alcohol.

I'm hoping my wife will be able to have some support when she gets out as it's getting increasingly difficult to find a mental health professional nowadays. The feelings of guilt from replaying interactions with people help drive my wife to drink. Then it's the problems from drinking that cause guilt. Then it's guilt from feeling guilty etc. It's a huge cycle.

 

[MrMephistoX]

Oh man that's great news. My wife is in rehab for drinking right now. She started around the same time as you kev kev. She used to make drinks for her dad (actually just called me mid sentence) when she was young.

We're both 40 and so are a lot of my friends. Unfortunately lots of them are big drinkers so it makes me not want to hang out with them all that much. Even when I smoke weed it gets to the point where they are on another level and it just gets too ridiculous for fun. Plus a few of them have major health problems from drinking like distended bellys from the alcohol.

I'm hoping my wife will be able to have some support when she gets out as it's getting increasingly difficult to find a mental health professional nowadays. The feelings of guilt from replaying interactions with people help drive my wife to drink. Then it's the problems from drinking that cause guilt. Then it's guilt from feeling guilty etc. It's a huge cycle.

Congrats OP and Lunarorbit hope your wife recovers too. I’m also nearing 40 and I got to thinking it’s all downhill health wise from here on out to why add liver damage fuel to the fire and am 1.5 months sober. THC products really helped me kick it entirely and I don’t have cravings for weed at all unlike alcohol which I was constantly thinking about either from being hungover or from planning out what to drink on weekends and pretending it was ok. With THC if I ever feel like it I’m just not compelled to drink.

 

[Chaplain]

I just celebrated 14 years of sobriety in June. So thankful that my life isn't relegated to having to use substances 24/7. Congrats to all who have chosen the path of sobriety as it takes tremendous courage and mental resilience.

edited

 

[The Fartist]

I hit my five-year anniversary a couple of months ago, I was smoking and vaping weed pretty heavy one year on and one year off, in between. It's been a little over a year and a half since I toked on the devil's lettuce, I even grew my own tree during Covid lockdown, which was fun. I have to admit, though, I do miss a good buzz from a good beer and I think I'll smoke again at some point but nowhere near like I used to. Also looking forward to a mushroom trip sometime in the future, but I consider psilocybin even less of a drug than THC, or not a drug at all. But overall I feel pretty good and don't have any cravings for anything, I reminisce every now and then, remembering the good ol' not so good ol' days.

Congrats to everyone for staying sober

 

[anthony2690]

I have not had an alcoholic drink in about 5 years, nearly the same amount of time for fizzy drinks too, alcohol and fizzy drinks would leave me in extreme pain in my gallbladder, so dropping them once I narrowed them items down as the cause was the easiest thing ever.

Now I single handedly keep Evian water in business, as that is all I really drink other than the odd milkshake here and there.

 

[Fuz]

why

 

[22•22]

hell yeah keep it going

Hahaha awesome man!

Yeah I wanted to be fit and sober and all before my 40th.

I achieved the latter so that's cool.

I call this the "Summer of Rehabilitation" because I've found a seemingly very good physiotherapist to help me get rid of my chronic pains and will allow me to fully hit the gym again.

I guess 41 is where it's at lol!

Thanks for the reactions guys and gals. Means a lot. Much appreciated



As for you all; Keep on Keeping on!

 

[El Pistolero]

You should be proud of yourself. My drug is pornography, and I have been on it for 20 plus years...It has added a thick layer of depression/shame/social awkwardness to existing mental issues from my childhood. I have had a disastrous sex life, to say the least, and the one good relationship I have ever had, I destroyed 6 years ago...and I regret it to this day.
I only discovered the horrible effects of porn consumption around the time that relationship ended, and was both relieved/scared to realize that half of my problems for decades had been because of this nasty habit.
I decided to abstain, which was not the easiest thing to undertake, but not the hardest either. 6 months later, I was hit by the worst withdrawal symptoms ever: Lethargy, major depression, derealization, terrible insomnia...The sysptoms were so severe, I went back to consuming, simply to feel "normal" again (I am not, nor have I been normal for a long...looong time).
I am about to start my recovery journey again, but I would be lying if I pretended not to be scared at the thought of those symptoms eating at me for months, if not years, given my level of addiction. But, hey, I have got no choice but to go through hell. I have devised a strategy and will stick to it.
I absolutely admire that you have kept it at bay. It will be a life-long struggle, though it will get gradually easier as time goes. But make no mistake: You have to commit until your last breath.
Sorry for the long post, and good luck on your journey. Proud of you!

 

[22•22]

2 years my man. That's amazing. I'm very very impressed with your strength; willpower.

I'm 15 years of off the weed. Luckily I can't cope with it. Makes it's much easier.

Booze though.... I have benzos for CPTSD related issues which helps just like you using weed. But alchohol has destroyed so much much...

Congratulations Kevin.

Be proud you beast!

 

[AJUMP23]

Keep it up.

 

[NinjaBoiX]

Amazing work guys!

 

[ClanOfNone]

I'll hit ten years in August, keep on truckin SoberGaf!

 

[GymWolf]

Edit

 

[Bartski]

approaching 7 good luck everyone

 

[Scotty W]

And you recently discovered some good in Doom Eternal. Congrats in turning the ship around!

 

[Kev Kev]

And you recently discovered some good in Doom Eternal. Congrats in turning the ship around!

 

[bender]

Keep it up and I'll think you've fallen of the wagon. That game suuuuuuucks.

 

[Kev Kev]

Keep it up and I'll think you've fallen of the wagon. That game suuuuuuucks.

lol have no fear its still mostly a big disappointment for me

 

[bender]

lol have no fear its still mostly a big disappointment for me

 

[Scotty W]

lol have no fear its still mostly a big disappointment for me

 

[InfiniteCombo]

Kev Kev congrats bro, keep it up! I respect it in so many ways because it takes: first, acknowledgment ("I think of this as a problem") then discipline and mental fortitude to keep up the sobriety.

 

[Raven117]

Great job Kev!

Never had a problem with alcohol, but I used smokeless tobacco for about 15 years. (gawd, I can't believe it was that long)....Been quit now for 7 years.

 

[Chronicle]

From everything except weed

Stopped reading right there. You're not sober so don't claim you are. You dont believe weed is a drug but guess what.... it is.

Your self doctoring.

Get off your high horse. You want to start a sober thread and you're not even sober. You want to inspire folks and you can't even get honest with yourself.

Are you an alcoholic?

 

[Kev Kev]

Get off your high horse

That’s rich

 

[The Fartist]

Stopped reading right there. You're not sober so don't claim you are. You dont believe weed is a drug but guess what.... it is.

Your self doctoring.

Get off your high horse. You want to start a sober thread and you're not even sober. You want to inspire folks and you can't even get honest with yourself.

Are you an alcoholic?

 

[p_xavier]

That’s rich

Next thing he'll judge you on not being a virgin! How dare you not be one though! Be pure!

 

[Blade2.0]

Celebrate with a beer.

Spoiler

I'm kidding. Congratulations brother

 

[Kev Kev]

Celebrate with a beer.

Spoiler

I'm kidding. Congratulations brother

lol! and thanks!!!