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I'm Woke and my Favourite Game Offends Me: A Parody Thread.

Marvel14

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Sep 30, 2020
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This is my second attempt at a silly thread designed to not take life and videogaming too seriously. If it works, posters will post their own "woke offence taken" moments from their favourite games. If it doesn't, the only humour will come from posters roasting this thread or me or both. Here goes nothing!

So Breath of the Wild is a horrendously prejudiced, humanoid supremacist game. Let me count the ways:

1. Boboklins are horrendously stereotyped....all of them are depicted as dangerous and evil with piggish features and the same purely savage behaviours even though they are capable of language, horseback riding and empathy. There isn't a single positive representation of one of them in the whole game.

2. Same goes for Moblins and Lizalfos: the former are depicted as slow and devil horned the latter as slimy and beedy eyed. Their skeletal forms attack you at night reemphasising that they're cursed and have no redeeming qualities. Would you expect one to sell you something or chat with you or give you a quest to do? Thought not.

3. And of course uglism is rampant: even ugly animals are evil and stupid like Octoroks and chuchus: one trick ponies with no personality or complex behavour. Contrast that with Lynels which are regal and stoic, only attacking if provoked with complex manoeuvres and almost human-like intelligence. Because humans love lions and horses the prejudiced bastards.

4. Koroks are horribly exploited. Already small and with their real faces and thus true individuality hidden behind leaves, imagine being forced to stand in the same place, invisible and unacknowledged for centuries unless a "heroic humanoid" happens to figure out a puzzle. And when they do they often proceed to drop a stone on top of your head repeatedly in a blatant act of unprovoked, wanton violence you can't defend yourself against. Once you're finally seen, you gain nothing except a fleeting moment of social interaction with a humanoid who doesn't even speak back to you. Then you're stuck in the same place alone for all eternity at the mercy of the elements. Unfathomable cruelty.

5. Speaking of which..how 'bout the rampant cruelty to animals? If you haven't felt a tinge in your heart when a wolf yelps or a hog or stag groans as they die you are a heartless bastarda. And the game rewards you for this slaughter with meat that boosts your health. Barbarism and animals suffering is ok it is telling us.

6.Guardians are a thinly veiled metaphor for spiders - an already much maligned species in human eyes...how many more spiders have been killed or drowned in bathtubs because BOTW says they are super dangerous and its basically kill or be killed? Even though most spiders are harmless to humans? Destroy innocent life because it looks ugly and dangerous: that's the ignorant, medieval message. Think how this poisons kids' minds....

7. Most of the human characters are depicted as noble and civilised - what a shocker: not. Even the Yiga clan, the one evil humanoid type are depicted as cute banana lovers so you can empathise with them. And the choice of fruit has a highly racist counterpoint in the real world....

- And on that note...Evil Wizzrobes are depicted as pitch black skinned. There are no positive or heroic pitch black characters in the whole game. Yes I know there are positive darker skin NPCs...but no pitch black ones like the Wizzrobes. 'Nuff said.

Cancel Breath of The Wild. It is highly offensive and prejudiced. It poisons impressionable kids' minds and doesn’t deserve to exist.

Edit: As requested link to my console makers roast thread:

 
Last edited:
Jan 10, 2021
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You can dress it up as much as you want, this is clearly just your inner urge to squeal about what you've been told to call "wokeness" pooping from your fingertips.

Satire is meant to be a high minded reframing of something. What you're "trying" to formulate here is closer to a circle jerk.
 

RJMacready73

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Jun 25, 2020
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You can dress it up as much as you want, this is clearly just your inner urge to squeal about what you've been told to call "wokeness" pooping from your fingertips.

Satire is meant to be a high minded reframing of something. What you're "trying" to formulate here is closer to a circle jerk.
Took that a bit seriously, not ever one has the sheer talent to pull off satire in the way you mentioned, his was a fair attempt to reframe the current political climate in a somewhat humorous way
 

Stuart360

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Sep 9, 2018
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Not satire but i was watching a small streamer earlier today that i watch, and she was playing a Indie game called 'Alien Scumbags'. Its one of those Broforce style pixel games. Anyway i said in her chat that i loved the games name, and the actual developer of the game was in the chat too, and he said thanks to me and said that he had ben getting a lot of grief on Facebook about the games name. I asked him what he meant and he said he was getting some messages from people saying its offensive to possible aliens (thats what he said, no joke lol), and also getting messages from people saying its offensive to immigrants and 'illegal aliens'.

I told him to close his Facebook immediatly, he laughed. :messenger_tears_of_joy:
 

Can't decide

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Sep 11, 2018
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Red Dead Redemption 2 is a game about a gang where mostly females work tirelessly hard to earn money for food and a vacation to Tahiti. Meanwhile the player assumes the role of a savage, cisgendered white male who, along with the other heinous cisgendered white males in the gang, bring terrifying disaster for everyone by exerting their white male privileges.

It needs to be banned.
 

TheMay30thMan

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Aug 23, 2018
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McCheese

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Jan 7, 2018
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Valve's Digital Distribution Platform
Marvel14 Marvel14

Why did you even play the game? its (lack of) representation for black and trans persxns is extremely problematic; they could easily have made Link gender-queer but those racist Japanese couldn't be bothered, and the only black characters in the game are these giant tanned sexualised creatures that have been designed to appeal to the colonising white males like yourself.

By playing the game you are actively supporting the death of black trans people, and by not accepting my head-cannon you are violating my rights.

Please give me your linkedin URL so I can contact your employer.
 
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Faithless83

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Mar 9, 2020
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It's supposed to be funny, but it's currently so accurate that it's scary. :messenger_anxious:

But Nintendo can do no wrong. If BotW was a Sony or MS game I bet there would be an article about the points covered by the OP.
 

Shodan09

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Jan 24, 2018
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I can't stand how Pikmin 3 has reverted back to the 'i don't see colour' racism of the early 2000s by now having all the Pikmin share one onion.

Treating everyone the same only serves to belittle the achievements of Pikmin of colour who thrive in spite of everything society throws at them.
 

assurdum

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Aug 14, 2020
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Red Dead Redemption 2 is a game about a gang where mostly females work tirelessly hard to earn money for food and a vacation to Tahiti. Meanwhile the player assumes the role of a savage, cisgendered white male who, along with the other heinous cisgendered white males in the gang, bring terrifying disaster for everyone by exerting their white male privileges.

It needs to be banned.
Irony a part, I'd like to see what kinda of version of RDR2 you played to see all those females in the gang work tirelessly hard, outside one ..
 
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zeioIIDX

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Feb 6, 2011
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This is painful to read. Somebody knew damn well they were duping some small children into purchasing this and they put next to zero effort into it because "fuck them kids". Either that or the person who wrote these "jokes" has no comprehension of humor whatsoever.

Also, they're going at it again on TriggeredEra...bashing Smash Bros for having no black characters. Which...hey, I get it. I'm black and sometimes it's nice to have the option to play as a black character. But personally, and this is just me, I really don't care all that much because at the end of the day, it's a video game. I'm just here to play it and have fun. Over there, they seem to go completely outta their way to show how offended they are and why others should be offended as well. Maybe I'm too apathetic and part of the problem. *shrug* I just don't see the need to get so worked up over a video game (or a movie, book, music, etc).
 
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wolywood

Member
Aug 29, 2005
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Red Dead Redemption 2 is a game about a gang where mostly females work tirelessly hard to earn money for food and a vacation to Tahiti. Meanwhile the player assumes the role of a savage, cisgendered white male who, along with the other heinous cisgendered white males in the gang, bring terrifying disaster for everyone by exerting their white male privileges.

It needs to be banned.
Well I mean.....isn't it?
 

NorthernSword

Neo Member
May 25, 2018
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Soulcalibur offends me because Ivy's high kicks and shaken not stirred big knockers remind me that I am in fact a cis gendered male.
 
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Jun 16, 2019
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Here's a legit pro comedy tip for ya my dude: the longer the thread is the boring it is. Just keep it simple, short, witty and let the other users go wild. You posted a fucking wall of text. No one is going to bother.
 

Hunnybun

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Jun 3, 2020
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Here's a legit pro comedy tip for ya my dude: the longer the thread is the boring it is. Just keep it simple, short, witty and let the other users go wild. You posted a fucking wall of text. No one is going to bother.

Also, don't tell people "I am going to tell a joke. Words will be involved, as well as light-heartendness. The last sentence will be the punchline, after which you may laugh if you are amused, but may choose not to. Stay safe everyone!"
 
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Marvel14

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Sep 30, 2020
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State of Thread: "Op-date"

It looked close for a time with the thread responders holding their own against the thread rejectors but in the last few hours the rejectors have pulled decisively ahead....

Awards:

1. Stranger than Fiction and Killer One liner Comeback Awards: Stuart360 Stuart360

2. Out-woking the Op Award: McCheese McCheese

3. The Child Within Me is Dead Award: Any Major Dude Any Major Dude

4. Making Too Much Sense for this Forum Award: RJMacready73 RJMacready73

5. Every Breath You Take Award: Optimus Lime Optimus Lime

Honorable missives:
S Stefan.North Can't decide Can't decide TeamGizzyy TeamGizzyy supernova8 supernova8 NorthernSword NorthernSword

Razzie Nominees for the How Far is This Stick Up My Arse? Award: H Hunnybun TheCockatrice TheCockatrice sobaka770 sobaka770 @Raonak.
 
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Punished Miku

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Jan 13, 2018
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Decided to just check the front page over at crazy town and ...... yep lol.



Angry Go Away GIF by The Swoon
 

Punished Miku

Gold Member
Jan 13, 2018
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Marvel14 Marvel14 stop, man. You're not funny. I know in your head you start these walls of text threads thinking comedy will just spill out, but it's not working. Let it go. You're embarrassing yourself.
I'll encourage anyone that wants to invest time and effort into creating threads over someone just taking defeatist pot-shots at them in a post that takes 5 seconds to write.
 
Jun 16, 2019
2,762
5,365
620
State of Thread: "Op-date"

It looked close for a time with the thread responders holding their own against the thread rejectors but in the last few hours the rejectors have pulled decisively ahead....

Awards:

1. Stranger than Fiction and Killer One liner Comeback Awards: Stuart360 Stuart360

2. Out-woking the Op Award: McCheese McCheese

3. The Child Within Me is Dead Award: Any Major Dude Any Major Dude

4. Making Too Much Sense for this Forum Award: RJMacready73 RJMacready73

5. Every Breath You Take Award: Optimus Lime Optimus Lime

Honorable missives:
S Stefan.North Can't decide Can't decide TeamGizzyy TeamGizzyy supernova8 supernova8 NorthernSword NorthernSword

Razzie Nominees for the How Far is This Stick Up My Arse? Award: H Hunnybun TheCockatrice TheCockatrice sobaka770 sobaka770 @Raonak.
Cringe Reaction GIF
 
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