So just over a year ago I had a rough breakup from this girl I was seeing and I was like "Fuck it, I'm gonna buzz my glorious, flowing locks and grow a beard." Yeah, it's a bit emo but whatever. You've got to be easy on yourself when you're going through shit, ya' know?
So ever since then my life has really been turning around. I liked the way hair looked short but I started seeing a woman about 9 months ago and she mentioned early on that she'd like to see what I looked like with longer hair. Eventually I was like "Okay, I'll stop keeping my hair short and grow it out so I can please this lovely lady I'm with."
So this is the point where I tell you that for pretty much from like 8-33 I had the same haircut mostly; and I'll shamefully tell you it was like the one Javier Bardiem had in No Country for Old Men. Yeah, what of it?
The problem, Gaf? Surely if I'm telling you all this in a motherfucking Twin Peaks thread I must have a reason.
So I'm growing my hair out and it isn't...growing like it used to. It used to be just straight as fuck, like a little dead girl from a Japanese ghost movie. Now it was all puffy like a baby bird's. So I'm thinking well okay, this is weird but I'm getting older and maybe this is some weird fucking thing. Of course things will be sweet if I just let it grow out more, weigh itself down a bit, and the beast will tame itself, right?
No, Gaf. No. To this very fucking day (And I DO intend to cut it this weekend) I have fucking baby bird head.
You might ask how this ties into Twin Peaks and specifically that despicable cad, James. Well, I've been wanting to watch TP for YEARS. I love weird shit but I fall asleep almost instantly if I try to watch TV or movies alone. So I'm in a healthy relationship now and I come to find out eventually that she's a big Lynch fan. This blows my fucking mind and I'm like "Baby girl, we gotta get our Twin Peaks groove on!". So over the course of time we are watching the whole series and Fire Walk with Me. We really enjoy it.
Of course we both hate James. Who doesn't fucking hate James? Even my 12 year old daughter is watching bits and pieces with us. She loves Coop, and she's always making jokes about coffee, pie, and owls. Lots of fun, Gaf, lots of fun.
So here comes a scene with fucking James with his fucking leather jacket and his emotions, and I can only assume a few tapes of The Smiths or The Cure or some shit in his back pocket. My daughter is with us and as soon as James stumblefucks his way on screen she's all like "Look, daddy, that guy has baby bird hair just like you!"
Man, fuck James.