I have a pretty serious and deep fear of bugs.
Dude, you have NO idea. Long story incoming but funny as fuck...
I've been living in my studio apartment in Queens for about a year and it's been amazing with the bug situation. A few spiders here and there but nothing serious. My bug killing method involves spraying something like Raid, hairspray, Axe, etc. on the bug until it's braindead. Then I go ahead and crush it with a sneaker or something, followed up picking it up with a few paper towels and disposing.
So a few months ago I notice the ceiling in my bathroom near the shower looks like it was getting waterlogged in the corner probably due to the dude above me getting water the fuck everywhere when showering or possibly just leaky pipes. So me being the lazy fuck I am just ignore it for months and eventually it gets so bad a small hole appears.
That morning taking a shower for work I jokingly say to myself "I should probably do something about this before a huge ass bug comes out." I end up being like "Meh, I'll wait for the weekend." That night I got high as FUCK and was about to go to bed. I walk into my bathroom, flip the lightswitch, walk a few steps before I see the biggest fucking roach I have ever seen in my entire life chilling on the sink counter. I did the biggest NOPE and turned into Ninja Gaiden and felt like I did a double blackflip to get the fuck outta there.
I was so high and so shocked I thought I was hallucinating. I ended up getting my Raid and for good measure a Febreeze spray and double fisted that shit to attempt to kill it. I slowly peek in (the door was halfway open) and that fucker was no longer there in the same spot. FUCK. Now I'm freaking out because he could be anywhere. What proceeded to happen for the next hour was me attempting to inch slowly towards the bathroom as I keep jerking my head in every direction as quickly as possible making sure that fucker wasn't on the celing or wall trolling me. At this point I was sweating so much I felt like I just ran a marathon in the Amazon. I just couldn't muster up the courage to actually step foot in my bathroom to kill it, and even if I did, I don't think I had the balls to actually kill it anyway because it was SO BIG.
So now it's about 2 AM on a weekday, got work the next day. I had a few options.
1. Call my Super and ask him to find and kill it.
2. Call my dad (who lives an hour away) and have him come over and kill it.
3. Call my friend who lives a block away to come over and kill it.
4. If the above three things fail, go sleep in my car, skip work the next day, and immediately hire a pest control person to come in and do something.
Super and dad don't pick up. Fuck. Friend actually picks up after calling him the second time. He was also high as hell and actually comes over to kill it for me. Thank god he's not afraid of bugs. Thankfully it was still in the bathroom on the far wall. He tries to spray it to death but it just ends up jetting along the wall and the sprays had NO effect whatsoever. It ends up on the floor and he whacked it like 10 times with a rolled up magazine and that thing was still alive. Finally he throws it in the toilet and this thing IS SWIMMING AROUND. It took about 4-5 flushes because it kept coming back up ALIVE. Finally it went down and it was over. We ended up just taping over the hole as a temporary solution. At this point it's about 3 AM. When he left I went ahead and taped over the hole about 10 more times.
This happened about a month ago. The hole is still just taped up. Super is supposed to fix but he canceled on me about 3 times now because he's the most unreliable person ever. My friend took a picture, I'll see if I can post it tonight, I'm at work right now.
