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Jennifer Lawrence face-palms Emma Watson
- Thread starter Vashetti
- Start date
- Status
That's cold, I was gonna lurk this thread till I found this gem. I love EM but man do people sweat the fuck out of her as if she is an 8 or better.
Grinchy
Banned
or it becomes a 37 or 73 depending on which side of the 3 you put the 7
TheKaeptain
Banned
It doesn't work like that. These are people not objects.
:jnc
MisterGrey3000
Member
DoktorEvil
Banned
SolVanderlyn
Thanos acquires the fully powered Infinity Gauntlet in The Avengers: Infinity War, but loses when all the superheroes team up together to stop him.
Something as asinine as this is getting media attention? I know it's not exclusive to celebrity worship culture... but it makes me hate it all the more.
NaturalHigh
Member
Emma Stone is way hotter than either girl from the OP. If you disagree....then you are wrong.
I love people that like Naruto non-ironically judging other people non-ironically
MisterGrey3000
Member
*does not compute*
Adorkable should be added to every dictionary in the world!
I like it!
She and Natalie "Lola Bunny" Dormer are two of the most unconventionally attractive women I've seen in a while.
The Mercy of Emma Watson
by Robert Orgi and Alex Klutzman
IT WAS NOT a dark and stormy night. In fact, it was sunny and calm. Paris was holding another Christian Dior fashion show, with models and celebrities buzzing about like they forgot about his "New Look" line that put women back in restrictive, submissive dresses in the 50s. Men were talking with their hands waving about in a funny accent, and women were too busy trying to impress each other with clothing, their lives, and money. Even the two most prominent women in the whole wide world, Emma Watson and Jennifer Lawrence.
Everything had been going swell. Drinks were had, scraps of food were quickly gobbled up, and connections had been established for future business endeavors. Even the worthless nobody Sean Penn, his own personal Aphrodite, Charlize Theron, and the phenomenal actress Marion Cotillard showed up. It couldn't have gone any better until a terrible, terrible incident had occurred: Jennifer Lawrence did the unspeakable and shoved her hand in Emma Watson's face as they were together for a photo-shoot.
The cameras had caught it all and Watson just couldn't believe it. What disrespect, didn't Jennifer know that she was the UN's Women Goodwill Ambassador? What about their long history together? More then friends, the ideal love that Plato had theorized was true with them at one point in time. Before Lawrence changed, before a dark and horrifying secret split them together, and at the same time made them much closer then before...
After the most awkward photo shoot of her life, Emma ran into the bathroom. Desperately trying to contain her tears in the mirror, Lawrence bashed the door open and shoved her in the corner of the incredibly clean and glimmering bathroom.
"But why?!" cried Emma Watson, as she was cornered by the vicious, attention-seeking, monstrosity only known on this planet as Jennifer Lawrence.
"You've overstepped your boundaries Emma," replied Lawrence. "If you ever cross me in the limelight again..."
As Lawrence lowered her head, Watson saw a faint shimmer of green in her eye, revealing the true nature of her being. As Lawrence turned, Emma spoke out to her,
"We had something once! Why keep up this charade?"
Jennifer turned her head, and her eyes could only look down at the floor as she remembered the past. Countless nights together as they learned to explore the endless boundaries of their once sacred love, the joy, the sorrow, the cake, it was all endured and they grew together. Talks of a family had started before the terrible secret had divided them forever.
"No one can ever find out about," Lawrence stated coldly. "My livelihood depends on it."
She turned her body back to Watson, "Even yours."
Watson stood up, and finished wiping the final tear from her eye as she spoke out, 'I don't care about any of that anymore, Jenny."
Lawernce's eyes widened, "Don't be foolish, Emma, no one would ever believe you if you told them who I really was. No without bringing up the past again."
"I've had enough of you pushing me around," Emma said, sternly. "I'll do whatever it takes to bring you down. I don't care about the past anymore, my future depends on what I'll do to you."
"Try it, Hermione," scoffed Lawrence as she left the bathroom.
Emma exited the bathroom and as models were going down the runway, she jumped on and all eyes were on her as audiences were confused. Was this to be a performance? Let's find out!
"Listen to me!" She started, "There's something about Jennifer Lawrence that you all need to know!"
Cameras and iPhones filming horizontally were all honed in on what Emma Watson had to say, but Jennifer in the front row wasn't going to have any of it. She quickly jumped on the runway.
"Yup! I guess I gotta be honest, but I hate fashion shows!" She said with a dumbass grin, "I think they're super shallow! Look at me!"
The audience was silent, but there were a few who clapped. They were always supporting her no matter what, because deep down they knew she was real. Like them.
"No!" Emma cried, "That's not it, I'll show you--"
Jennifer Lawrence tried to push her away, but Watson grabbed her hair as she fell back on the runway. The audience gasped, and iPhones were dropped as the spirit of Steve Jobs laughed maniacally. Suddenly all was silent, and no one could believe what they saw. No longer was the horribly-tanned Jennifer Lawrence before them, but it was the gorgeous red-dyed hair and head of Emma Stone.
"Well, shit," said Emma Stone.
"Buy why?" asked an extremely handsome man, named Toa TAK.
"It's simple, you imbecile," began Stone, "Twice as much clothing, livelihood, and money. Did you really think I would be okay with dying off in a terrible Spider-Man movie, losing potential money, if I didn't have a backup?"
"The Hunger Games," the admittedly slow man pieced together.
"Yes, and now, with all the films I'll be making, the constant publicity I'm having I will make my way into every boy, and every man's heart, mind, and well, you know. Thus laying the foundation to initiate a new Genesis! A NEW WORLD RULED BY ME! Jennifer Stone once of Russia, but in my new world there will be no nations, and we will live in Utopia."
"You're insane, Stone," called out Watson, as she rose. "And I'm going to stop you."
"No you won't," spoke Stone with confidence, "Penn, Theron, and Cotillard, execute Order 69!"
Suddenly the three actors pulled out Pulse Rifles on the audience and created chaos among the show. Emma kicked Stone in the back, and got into her Kung-Fu stance. You don't become a UN Ambassador without learning some self-defense after all.
"After everything we've done together, I've done for you.." began Stone as she pulled out a tomahawk from under her dress, "You reject a new world order? One with peace in mind? Your lives as slaves will be happy."
"You were the one who taught me freedom was everyone's right, Stone," replied Watson, "At the end of this day one shall stand, one shall fall, slut."
The two charged at one another fought while chaos among the crowd grew to an all time high as the police and firemen came and took out the brainwashed actors with lethal force. Flames surrounded the two as they fought on the narrow runway, the two began to sweat furiously, and the tomahawk flew from Emma Stone's hand and onto the runway. Watson kicked her down, grabbed the lethal weapon and held it to her throat as Jennifer Stone was down.
Jennifer Stone, weary, spoke out to her once best friend and lover, "Emma, this new world I envisioned was born out of our first night together, one of true peace and love between us. I needed to recreate that worldwide. I thought that if everyone knew how we felt, there wouldn't be anymore fighting, no more wars, disease, or talking poorly behind each other's backs in the office. You must see now why I had to betray you, to keep you in line all this time..."
"You didn't betray me," said Emma Watson as she raised the tomahawk with her arm. "You betrayed yourself."
Watson struck down the blade right as Stone begged for mercy, but it was done.
Amongst the chaos, Watson looked up, as she finally finally knew true peace.
---
It's been, like, a goddamn decade since I've written jack. So I'm rustier then Optimus Prime's compassion towards anyone.
by Robert Orgi and Alex Klutzman
IT WAS NOT a dark and stormy night. In fact, it was sunny and calm. Paris was holding another Christian Dior fashion show, with models and celebrities buzzing about like they forgot about his "New Look" line that put women back in restrictive, submissive dresses in the 50s. Men were talking with their hands waving about in a funny accent, and women were too busy trying to impress each other with clothing, their lives, and money. Even the two most prominent women in the whole wide world, Emma Watson and Jennifer Lawrence.
Everything had been going swell. Drinks were had, scraps of food were quickly gobbled up, and connections had been established for future business endeavors. Even the worthless nobody Sean Penn, his own personal Aphrodite, Charlize Theron, and the phenomenal actress Marion Cotillard showed up. It couldn't have gone any better until a terrible, terrible incident had occurred: Jennifer Lawrence did the unspeakable and shoved her hand in Emma Watson's face as they were together for a photo-shoot.
The cameras had caught it all and Watson just couldn't believe it. What disrespect, didn't Jennifer know that she was the UN's Women Goodwill Ambassador? What about their long history together? More then friends, the ideal love that Plato had theorized was true with them at one point in time. Before Lawrence changed, before a dark and horrifying secret split them together, and at the same time made them much closer then before...
After the most awkward photo shoot of her life, Emma ran into the bathroom. Desperately trying to contain her tears in the mirror, Lawrence bashed the door open and shoved her in the corner of the incredibly clean and glimmering bathroom.
"But why?!" cried Emma Watson, as she was cornered by the vicious, attention-seeking, monstrosity only known on this planet as Jennifer Lawrence.
"You've overstepped your boundaries Emma," replied Lawrence. "If you ever cross me in the limelight again..."
As Lawrence lowered her head, Watson saw a faint shimmer of green in her eye, revealing the true nature of her being. As Lawrence turned, Emma spoke out to her,
"We had something once! Why keep up this charade?"
Jennifer turned her head, and her eyes could only look down at the floor as she remembered the past. Countless nights together as they learned to explore the endless boundaries of their once sacred love, the joy, the sorrow, the cake, it was all endured and they grew together. Talks of a family had started before the terrible secret had divided them forever.
"No one can ever find out about," Lawrence stated coldly. "My livelihood depends on it."
She turned her body back to Watson, "Even yours."
Watson stood up, and finished wiping the final tear from her eye as she spoke out, 'I don't care about any of that anymore, Jenny."
Lawernce's eyes widened, "Don't be foolish, Emma, no one would ever believe you if you told them who I really was. No without bringing up the past again."
"I've had enough of you pushing me around," Emma said, sternly. "I'll do whatever it takes to bring you down. I don't care about the past anymore, my future depends on what I'll do to you."
"Try it, Hermione," scoffed Lawrence as she left the bathroom.
Emma exited the bathroom and as models were going down the runway, she jumped on and all eyes were on her as audiences were confused. Was this to be a performance? Let's find out!
"Listen to me!" She started, "There's something about Jennifer Lawrence that you all need to know!"
Cameras and iPhones filming horizontally were all honed in on what Emma Watson had to say, but Jennifer in the front row wasn't going to have any of it. She quickly jumped on the runway.
"Yup! I guess I gotta be honest, but I hate fashion shows!" She said with a dumbass grin, "I think they're super shallow! Look at me!"
The audience was silent, but there were a few who clapped. They were always supporting her no matter what, because deep down they knew she was real. Like them.
"No!" Emma cried, "That's not it, I'll show you--"
Jennifer Lawrence tried to push her away, but Watson grabbed her hair as she fell back on the runway. The audience gasped, and iPhones were dropped as the spirit of Steve Jobs laughed maniacally. Suddenly all was silent, and no one could believe what they saw. No longer was the horribly-tanned Jennifer Lawrence before them, but it was the gorgeous red-dyed hair and head of Emma Stone.
"Well, shit," said Emma Stone.
"Buy why?" asked an extremely handsome man, named Toa TAK.
"It's simple, you imbecile," began Stone, "Twice as much clothing, livelihood, and money. Did you really think I would be okay with dying off in a terrible Spider-Man movie, losing potential money, if I didn't have a backup?"
"The Hunger Games," the admittedly slow man pieced together.
"Yes, and now, with all the films I'll be making, the constant publicity I'm having I will make my way into every boy, and every man's heart, mind, and well, you know. Thus laying the foundation to initiate a new Genesis! A NEW WORLD RULED BY ME! Jennifer Stone once of Russia, but in my new world there will be no nations, and we will live in Utopia."
"You're insane, Stone," called out Watson, as she rose. "And I'm going to stop you."
"No you won't," spoke Stone with confidence, "Penn, Theron, and Cotillard, execute Order 69!"
Suddenly the three actors pulled out Pulse Rifles on the audience and created chaos among the show. Emma kicked Stone in the back, and got into her Kung-Fu stance. You don't become a UN Ambassador without learning some self-defense after all.
"After everything we've done together, I've done for you.." began Stone as she pulled out a tomahawk from under her dress, "You reject a new world order? One with peace in mind? Your lives as slaves will be happy."
"You were the one who taught me freedom was everyone's right, Stone," replied Watson, "At the end of this day one shall stand, one shall fall, slut."
The two charged at one another fought while chaos among the crowd grew to an all time high as the police and firemen came and took out the brainwashed actors with lethal force. Flames surrounded the two as they fought on the narrow runway, the two began to sweat furiously, and the tomahawk flew from Emma Stone's hand and onto the runway. Watson kicked her down, grabbed the lethal weapon and held it to her throat as Jennifer Stone was down.
Jennifer Stone, weary, spoke out to her once best friend and lover, "Emma, this new world I envisioned was born out of our first night together, one of true peace and love between us. I needed to recreate that worldwide. I thought that if everyone knew how we felt, there wouldn't be anymore fighting, no more wars, disease, or talking poorly behind each other's backs in the office. You must see now why I had to betray you, to keep you in line all this time..."
"You didn't betray me," said Emma Watson as she raised the tomahawk with her arm. "You betrayed yourself."
Watson struck down the blade right as Stone begged for mercy, but it was done.
Amongst the chaos, Watson looked up, as she finally finally knew true peace.
---
It's been, like, a goddamn decade since I've written jack. So I'm rustier then Optimus Prime's compassion towards anyone.
The Real Abed
Perma-Junior
I totally do not have the appropriate GIF for this.
But I do have the most appropriate avatar.
But I do have the most appropriate avatar.
NotTheGuyYouKill
Member
Its like you read three Wozzly stories and then took a bad hit of acid and watched The Raid.
This is pretty good.
Garfield... that lucky bastard.
Thank you for your support.
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