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John Cleese bashes American "Football"

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wormstrangler said:
When you talk about hockey on GAF, most people assume or only know about ice hockey. Not this weird field hockey thing.

When I say hockey, I mean ice hockey. Not field hockey, roller hockey, street hockey, underwater hockey, or underwater ice hockey (yes it exists!).
 
J2 Cool said:
Bunts, steals, pinch hitting, lefty vs righty, defensive subs, when to take the starting pitcher out, who to pick from the bullpen, set-up man, closers, sac flies, intentional walks, calling a game in pitching, working the strike zone for a pitcher, working the count for a batter, etc, etc.

I guess American Football in comparison is a total x's and o's game, since every play is called, but those two are the closest in being real strategy games. Since games are often close in baseball too, the subtleties of those calls have a huge impact. In football, it has an impact, but the better teams win by a lot in that sport. Basketball is a nice mix of freeform play and strategy.

American Football has all that strategy too, difference is Baseball is slower and easier to recognize the elements than the other. All of the things that happen in football happen in an instant and you have to make heads and tails of everything that occurs. Plus with so many things going on and impromptu decisions by the players during the plays changes things.
 
As an immigrant, I tried to absorb your sports. Here are the results in order of greatness:


1. Football - most Tivo/Beer/Lazy Sunday compatible sport ever. Great action. Passionate fans, best old slow-mo footage..."the frozen Tundra of Lambeau Field..."
2. Basketball - great sport, occasionally RUINED by post-game interviews... "I'd like to thank the omnipotent hand of God, in its infinite magnificence, for helping me do that easy layup in the third."
3. Hockey - TERRIBLE televised sport, not helped by low scoring, cold places, strikes or complete invisibility of puck. When Fox tried to address this, the same idiot fans who encouraged the strike protested against the fact that ordinary people could now see the puck.
4. Baseball - JESUS it's like watching someone grind a particularly tepid and obscure RPG.
5. Soccer - you guys finally seem to have it. Not great on TV when I could be watching Real Madrid, but getting better. Expect this to dethrone hockey, vaulting over Baseball soon.


In summary, you (we) have WAY more rapists and felons in your sports than other countries.
 
Could never enjoy any American Football game I've watched. There are so many breaks and pauses in the action. It's every twenty or thirty seconds the game stops, the referee makes some kind of decision I don't understand, everyone on the field changes about, repeat again in another short duration. The ball slowly moves around the field every few minutes. Occasionally someone kicks it.

Pretty sure I haven't a clue whats going on.
 
OuterWorldVoice said:
As an immigrant, I tried to absorb your sports. Here are the results in order of greatness:


1. Football - most Tivo/Beer/Lazy Sunday compatible sport ever. Great action. Passionate fans, best old slow-mo footage..."the frozen Tundra of Lambeau Field..."
2. Basketball - great sport, occasionally RUINED by post-game interviews... "I'd like to thank the omnipotent hand of God, in its infinite magnificence, for helping me do that easy layup in the third."
3. Hockey - TERRIBLE televised sport, not helped by low scoring, cold places, strikes or complete invisibility of puck. When Fox tried to address this, the same idiot fans who encouraged the strike protested against the fact that ordinary people could now see the puck.
4. Baseball - JESUS it's like watching someone grind a particularly tepid and obscure RPG.
5. Soccer - you guys finally seem to have it. Not great on TV when I could be watching Real Madrid, but getting better. Expect this to dethrone hockey, vaulting over Baseball soon.


In summary, you (we) have WAY more rapists and felons in your sports than other countries.
I don't think you know what a summary is mate.
 
Green Scar said:
I don't remember a football movie where someone has their eyeball knocked out.

Look, the 'which football has the best movie' discussion is over.

nlc4s3.jpg
 
Dani said:
There are so many breaks and pauses in the action. I.
I don't mind the breaks at all, it's just when they cut to commericals all the time and it's always for the same things, going to miss the Sunday Night Game on Five :(
 
Rugby League>>>>>>>>>>American Football>>>>>>>>>>>>Rugby Union. I will never understand people that cannot see this after watching all three.
 
Shouta said:
American Football has all that strategy too, difference is Baseball is slower and easier to recognize the elements than the other. All of the things that happen in football happen in an instant and you have to make heads and tails of everything that occurs. Plus with so many things going on and impromptu decisions by the players during the plays changes things.

I'd agree, the show NFL Matchup was awesome for showing that kind of stuff, I just don't think the coach has quite the same impact and the decisions are as exact as they are in baseball. There's a ton of options on a given, then opened up for freeform play and QB play. You set your plays up, but then they play out generally in an unpredictable way. Baseball a lot of their strategic play is executed exact, if they're doing it right. Basically, athletic ability and the athletes decisions takeover in football a lot imo.

The strongest coaching jobs in football are generally looked at as ballsy choices, when to sneak in the special teams plays, and the difference these make in close games. But I think the strategy has less control of the sport than it does in baseball. As an example, all the strategy in the world rarely stops a WR or (generally a) RB who's started the game hot from continuing. The sport rewards the great athlete. In baseball, you can just walk a hot batter most of the game. And thus, strategy takes a bit of precedence over the players from controlling the game. Not that I even like that example, because I'm all about the players controlling the game, it's much more interesting.
 
Franchise teams, gg.
Discussion solved?

Actually I enjoy watching both, but the teams in American sports are generally uninteresting
 
Goron2000 said:
What? Soccer/Football was created by the Chinese military around 200 A.D, it was a training exercise where the soldier had to kick a leather ball through a small hole. It was later given rules and named "cuju" (literal translation of "Kick ball") by 700 A.D it became a professional sport in east asia.

Dammit, Bobby...
 
Davidion said:
Not a sports fan in general, but much like a good blowjob, you can't really argue with John Cleese.

You regularly argue with mediocre to rubbish blow jobs? What do you argue about? The economy? Immigration? Do you get much of a reply?
 
MagniHarvald said:
Born in the US, agree with Cleese..

But hockey is better than both :p

Yup, sums up my feeling quite well... except I don't mind watching the occasional American football game.
 
I love both Soccer and American Football, although I enjoy playing AF a lot more than soccer.

I can care less what AF is called, it's damned awesome.
 
newelly87 said:
Rugby League>>>>>>>>>>American Football>>>>>>>>>>>>Rugby Union. I will never understand people that cannot see this after watching all three.

Union rules over all heathen! And Cleese is always right.
 
$1148 Jack said:
People, people... Who and or what is an Emmit?

In Cornwall it means Holiday Makers

i.e. "fuckin emmits!, making everything expensive and treating our town like shit"

In Cornish I think it means ants or small creature.


Also Handegg?

I used to call it "Turn Based Rugby" :D

but then again is rugby itself turn based?
 
I don't enjoy either, but if I walk into a bar and football's playing I'll rough it out. If it's soccer I leave immediately. Shit is boring.
 
Football is so much easier to watch than Soccer. Soccer is like some existential dread, where every burst of energy spasms out into nothingness almost as soon as it starts. Football has goals. Accomplishments. Every play means something.
 
blackMamba1187 said:
Ochocinco getting laid out by Ray Lewis:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H4KZnxHFrVk&NR=1
Knew it was only a matter of time before a Ray Lewis video popped up.


One of the interesting things about the Soccer vs. Football debate is that a lot of American kids play Soccer either in an organized or unorganized fashion. While (I'm just guessing here) I would imagine very few kids from other countries play American Football at any point in their lives. Probably why there is a general lack of understanding about Football from non-Americans.
 
NIN90 said:
Me watching Handegg is like Fry watching future baseball in Futurama. I don't get that shit.

MULTI BALL! MULTI BALL!
BLURN

BLURN BLURRRRRRRRRRRRN!

*Motor cycle circles the bases*

*fireworks go off*

*Giant bugs enter the stadium*
 
Why is "manliness" "toughness" etc. etc. such a selling point to yall in non combat sports? Who cares?

If that's what you want go watch MMA. Every single athlete I've seen in this thread (football, rugby, etc. etc.) would look like a god damn pussy next to Fedor Emilianenko.

If you're going to watch a "game" sport, then watch it for the game. That's why I like basketball more than any of the above, it's the most entertaining "game" to watch IMO. I still enjoy American football though.
 
American Football would be better if it didn't takes more than 3 hours to play a 60-min game. Something must have gone wrong there.
 
FindMyFarms said:
If that's what you want go watch MMA. Every single athlete I've seen in this thread (football, rugby, etc. etc.) would look like a god damn pussy next to Fedor Emilianenko.

FedorIceCream.jpg
 
darkwings said:
Says that it is only good for beer commercials, questions the term football when the majority of the game is played by hands and says that you dont need to think yourself to play the game.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2sD_8prYOxo

AND HERE WE GO!
John Cleese is a groundbreaking individual for being the first British person to ever think up those arguments. I have never heard any british person, ever, say any of those things about American Football. Crazy.
 
Is anyone here actually gonna argue that he's wrong...or is everyone gonna just say "well, i prefer _____ over ____" as if that has anything to do with anything.

American Football has evolved into a capitalistic business sport with commercial breaks and everything. HOW in the world can anyone like that? The game was also never designed to have people in the background directing the entire effing game, but if you gotta wait for such a long time in between plays, you might as well.

Football has lost it. It should play out more like Basketball. Stop and go, but the stops are very very short. There aren't a million people making calls, just a coach and he can only direct a real plan with a timeout. Even still, the plan typically is more improvised as things happen as the action goes on, because the action doesn't stop every 3 seconds.

I agree with Cleese, football needs to be more jazz-like.
 
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