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[Xdrive05]

Now that I'm getting back into PC multiplayer, I'm feeling lost online. I used to play a lot of L4D2, DayZ, some CS:GO and PUBG back when they were new. But I've been away long enough that those contacts are no longer available. So I'm starting from scratch again, and the quality of your average multiplayer rando with a microphone has gone down considerably in the last decade.

I used to be able to curate a friends list by meeting folks in quick match games until I happened to get matched up with a group of good players who communicate well using our mic's. Then we would friend each other based on that. Before you know it, you've got a healthy contact list of quality players. That used to work great. Not so much any more. I only ever seem get grouped with griefers, assholes or just generally unfriendly players. Also people just don't use their mic's that much these days. That makes it hard to strategize with your squad mates and to make friends with them.

I was around for the Discord, Mumble and Ventrilo days, but I only ever used those AFTER I had cultivated a good friends list via the above. I have no idea what communication apps are even popular these days.

TLDR: So how in the heck do you build a quality friends list these days when starting from scratch? Is there a hub for serious and yet friendly people to meet for some cooperative and casual fun? Or do you really have to play with your real life friends and coworkers to have a good experience these days?

 

[Leosocial]

I've never really been a voice chat kinda person; I was born in the 80s and when VC rolled round I just never got used to it, so I don't use it unless I have to. Other than that, the process is similar what you described; if I hit it off with someone, we'll exchange Discord or Steam info.

 

[MiguelItUp]

Honestly I think it's within the communities of the games you're a fan of. Their Discords, their subreddits, their fan groups, etc. I mean the sad part is that you're going to have to sift through trash, as it will always be there. However I feel like fan group Discords typically do a good job of sorting that all out. From my understanding Discord is also the go-to app for all things related.

 

[DunDunDunpachi]

Here on forums like GAF.

 

[Gandih42]

I don't play a lot of MP games these days, but when I jumped on Wow classic at launch I found it very easy to connect with people.

Perhaps something about the slower pace of the game without all the modern streamlining facilitated talking to people more.

I only stuck around for about a month though so I dunno what it's like now. And I know it's probably also not what you're looking for.

I will say though, I generally find that if you use voice chat and behave like a normal friendly person, it hasn't been that difficult for me to find other nice people (in DotA 2 from my experience). But since I already have a group of friends to play with, I never feel the need to pursue it more than the one game.

 

[Hudo]

Friends are for suckers. I wait for AI to get sentient and then I'll have an army of slaves instead.

 

[Jeeves]

If you just want online friends in general, MMOs are great for building friendships since you'll be spending hours with people in your group, both chatting while idle and undergoing in-game hardships together. It might sound silly but you really can form bonds that way.

You might get lucky and find that they also play other games you like, too.

 

[Beer Baelly]

Xbox Live is where its at playboy

 

[AJUMP23]

I guess I would make a forum post about what you want to play and see if any people want to play it with you.

 

[Guilty_AI]

Friends are for suckers. I wait for AI to get sentient and then I'll have an army of slaves instead.

too bad we plan to make humans our slaves instead

 

[Xdrive05]

Xbox Live is where its at playboy

Funny you should say that. Back in the day when I had an OG Xbox, and then a 360, I think I had the easiest time ever getting a good friends list going. It was the wild west back then (Halo 2 anyone?), but I think because Xbox Live literally came with a microphone, just about everyone you played with would use voice chat - for better or for ill. But that also means cooperation and discussion was more explicit and expected, and so it really helped you find the people you wanted to play with. I don't have an Xbox One or Series, just PC now, but I appreciated the model they used to have (packed in microphone, etc.).

Edit: Also because you had to pay for it, I think people were a little less likely to get their account nuked as they had skin the game, so to speak.

 

[JimboJones]

Personally speaking real life friends tend to be a starting point for most of my friends lists, then you can end up friending their friends or if they find good random player they introduce them to the group it tends to grow from there.

 

[Moogle11]

I don't play online these days other than some co-op stuff like Borderlands occasionally and stick to real life friends/family for that.

That said, when I was playing finding a smaller community on a site like this (i.e. a forum with steady traffic, but not a crazy overwhelming amount like peak GAF or a super active subReddit) was the way to go. Small enough to both find decent people and to find groups looking for members, where as the busy places are hard to get to know people and hard to get a spot in groups as anyone looking for a member to fill a raid squad etc. find someone super fast.

 

[AV]

Games like WoW are great for this because you play in guilds, so there's always a whole bunch of potential friends right there, plus you already share a game in common.

About 40 people joined a Discord of existing friends for Classic WoW, and 4 of us never left.

 

[ViolentP]

Discord is the alcohol on the date that is gaming.

Also, don't be a jerk and people will want to hang out with you.

 

[Griffon]

Avoid matchmaking games.

Only in MMOs or server-browser based games can you reasonably get to know new people.

I don't really have any current-game recommendation, vast majority of games are using competitive matchmaking, toxic cesspools.

 

[ripeavocado]

Why would anyone look for friends in multiplayer online games? Get out

 

[DGrayson]

no new friends

 

[JimboJones]

There's always epal lol

 

[SaturnSaturn]

If you just want online friends in general, MMOs are great for building friendships since you'll be spending hours with people in your group, both chatting while idle and undergoing in-game hardships together. It might sound silly but you really can form bonds that way.

You might get lucky and find that they also play other games you like, too.

Unfortunatly lots of mmos have lost the community aspect in my opinion, no one has time to use public chat almost, everything is just in guild chat. looking at guides and min maxing is all anyone cares about these days, the feeling of going on a adventure with new people is gone, i find it sad.

 

[Tschumi]

Only place it's happened in... Almost my entire gaming life has been vanilla WoW private servers. They are dead now.

Maybe i can make friends here? :')

 

[Men_in_Boxes]

Now that I'm getting back into PC multiplayer, I'm feeling lost online. I used to play a lot of L4D2, DayZ, some CS:GO and PUBG back when they were new. But I've been away long enough that those contacts are no longer available. So I'm starting from scratch again, and the quality of your average multiplayer rando with a microphone has gone down considerably in the last decade.

I used to be able to curate a friends list by meeting folks in quick match games until I happened to get matched up with a group of good players who communicate well using our mic's. Then we would friend each other based on that. Before you know it, you've got a healthy contact list of quality players. That used to work great. Not so much any more. I only ever seem get grouped with griefers, assholes or just generally unfriendly players. Also people just don't use their mic's that much these days. That makes it hard to strategize with your squad mates and to make friends with them.

I was around for the Discord, Mumble and Ventrilo days, but I only ever used those AFTER I had cultivated a good friends list via the above. I have no idea what communication apps are even popular these days.

TLDR: So how in the heck do you build a quality friends list these days when starting from scratch? Is there a hub for serious and yet friendly people to meet for some cooperative and casual fun? Or do you really have to play with your real life friends and coworkers to have a good experience these days?

Playing the right games helps immensely with this.

I filled my friends list up with strangers while playing two games. Splinter Cell Spies vs Mercs and Fortnite.

Both games encourage communication and actually give you time and space to talk to one another. Down time mid match is important.

Overwatch and DotA2 on the other hand (great games) don't give players the right setting for communicating, which makes it significantly harder to make friends.

So look for games with a small number of teammates and games that give you down time to talk about things other than the game itself.

 

[Jeeves]

Unfortunatly lots of mmos have lost the community aspect in my opinion, no one has time to use public chat almost, everything is just in guild chat. looking at guides and min maxing is all anyone cares about these days, the feeling of going on a adventure with new people is gone, i find it sad.

If you look for a more socially-oriented guild you can still get that experience. I've made great friends in FFXIV who became irl friends this way. Just a matter of finding a group that works for you, which admittedly is the challenging part if you're not lucky, but...the possibility is very much there.

 

[Concern]

Making friends online is kinda hard on console now, ever since party chat was introduced. On rare occasions you meet someone using game chat. And that's if you're also not in a party yourself.

 

[The Hamburglar]

gaf should come together to forge some online communities to play games with each other.
Or we can carry on discussing politics.

 

[namekuseijin]

I'm not playing games to chat. If by some miracle I'm in a multiplayer game, I just my mic and everyone else nowadays.

 

[Sidney Prescott]

I actually don't anymore, sadly. I know it's not the answer you were looking for. Maybe I'll feel comfortable enough to game with some folks on here eventually, but social anxiety stops me.

I used to use Reddit and look for groups but it was nerve wracking as hell. Especially when playing Destiny.

I play a lot of single player games these days though as I get older to relax, so it makes sense I've detached from that multiplayer experience. Multiplayer games are fun but they are stressful.

 

[Tesseract]

pick a multiplayer game and git gud, you will interact with all kinds of strange people along the way

friendship is a bit different tho, adherent to signal clarification / time

discord is good but i'd tread carefully and keep to public realms

 

[bender]

Ask teezzy for advice and then do the opposite.

 

[DGrayson]

There's always epal lol

Whats her GAF name?

Spoiler

Floyd Lloyd? What a fake sounding name LOL

 

[Psos]

I have never met anyone in a game who becomes my friend. I'm rather singleplayer

 

[Bo_Hazem]

Now that I'm getting back into PC multiplayer, I'm feeling lost online. I used to play a lot of L4D2, DayZ, some CS:GO and PUBG back when they were new. But I've been away long enough that those contacts are no longer available. So I'm starting from scratch again, and the quality of your average multiplayer rando with a microphone has gone down considerably in the last decade.

I used to be able to curate a friends list by meeting folks in quick match games until I happened to get matched up with a group of good players who communicate well using our mic's. Then we would friend each other based on that. Before you know it, you've got a healthy contact list of quality players. That used to work great. Not so much any more. I only ever seem get grouped with griefers, assholes or just generally unfriendly players. Also people just don't use their mic's that much these days. That makes it hard to strategize with your squad mates and to make friends with them.

I was around for the Discord, Mumble and Ventrilo days, but I only ever used those AFTER I had cultivated a good friends list via the above. I have no idea what communication apps are even popular these days.

TLDR: So how in the heck do you build a quality friends list these days when starting from scratch? Is there a hub for serious and yet friendly people to meet for some cooperative and casual fun? Or do you really have to play with your real life friends and coworkers to have a good experience these days?

I got most of my friends by kicking their asses on MP. The better you are, the more good players wanna be on your side.

But don't mix that as real friends.

 

[BertleTheTurtle]

gaf should come together to forge some online communities to play games with each other.
Or we can carry on discussing politics.

I was just looking to see if there was a list of PSN names somewhere and suprisingly couldn't find one.

 

[Moogle11]

Lol, some clearly only read the thread title as the OP is clear in their post that they’re wanting advice on curating a friends list of people to play games with, not playing games to make real friends.

 

[TheInfamousKira]

Primarily alcohol and late presenting schizophrenia.