Zuhzuhzombie!!
Member
It was and now we've split my life is better, make tons of money, and have an awesome wife who is 100% the woman my ex wife was, and 100% as beautiful. Curvy White Southern Pixie Girl wanna be versus svelte Chinese girl.
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My friend's girlfriend is ruining his other relationships
- Thread starter shanshan310
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It was and now we've split my life is better, make tons of money, and have an awesome wife who is 100% the woman my ex wife was, and 100% as beautiful. Curvy White Southern Pixie Girl wanna be versus svelte Chinese girl.
Gintoki313
Banned
I never really got this. Not the kill herself part, but the "tried to break up with them but they refused" part. Wouldn't that be kinda awkward throughout the relationship? When someone wants to break apart, that mostly means that they don't want to be together anymore. I just don't know how some people can just go back to normal like nothings happened, when someone tries to break up in the relationship. I'll never understand that. I just see that as the relationship is over, unless the 2 people try to work it out before hitting the break up part. Once the break up part hits, I just see it as the relationship is officially done.
BriareosGAF
Member
It's almost like... one or both of them... aren't acting rationally!
Goldenroad
Member
Not hanging out with your highschool buddies as much because you have all moved on and have wives and kids and careers is not a nightmare, it's just a fact of life. My hard partying days are behind me, and if you talk to most people in their 30's, you'll see it's a pretty common sentiment.
Zen_Arcade
Banned
Yeah, but in this situation the rest of the gang are still all hanging out. It's one lone guy with a clinger girlfriend holding him back.
Also I don't think that it's normal at any age to be worrying about someone killing themselves if you break up.
This is more complicated then your simple growing up, growing apart story.
DoYouEvenLift?
Banned
Lol, this.
I still have this one buddy from high school who swears nothing has to change even though we have multiple kids and jobs and mortgages and shit. He doesn't get it when I tell him that I WANT it to change. I had my days of drinking at the bar 3+ times a week, hitting up strip clubs, and doing spur of the moment road trips. It was awesome, and I'm glad I did it. But now I get even more pleasure out of playing a video game with my son or taking him to the park.
Zen_Arcade
Banned
Did you even read the OP? This is obviously more then a people grow apart situation.
A world where all of my friends are in shitty relationships and guilt tripped into not leaving and being manipulated into not hanging out with each other sounds like a nightmare.
Omegasquash
Member
Just read this. Amazing, though I'm glad to hear that you've moved on.
Zuhzuhzombie!!
Member
Thanks!
Eh. It was a mistake, partially my fault because I knew getting married to her was a bad idea, but MAGICAL PIXIE GIRL! and kinky sex blinded me. It got really really dramatic a few times, she pulled a knife on me once, threatened to have one of her friends shoot me, etc etc. Huge fight in a hotel in New York once after she got angry that I dared get offended at her asking if she could go home with a guy she met at a bar. That incident, basically, was the end.
I packed her shit once and took off my ring. She begged to work on it, etc, only to throw a fit a few months later and "demand a divorce". Why? Because I told her to wash her own underwear. I guess she wanted to feel like she dumped me. But I also suspect she was just doing that so her and whatever guy he was cracking could find a place together.
Now they're both jobless, have a baby together, and live with his mom. I creeped her tumblr a while (I shouldn't have, I know) and saw a post where she was complaining about how he flirts with other women in front of her, and she knows how that ends up, cause "that's how I acted with you when I cheated on you with my husband". She linked to an OKCupid profile where she states that she "just wants to meet friends". Code word for "I need the sexual attention of another man". All of her profile pictures are two years old, before she let go of her self and started gaining baby weight. That'll be a surprise for some guy.
I'm just glad it only took me about three months total to get over it. Hard three months, but once she was finally out of the house and I started hitting the bars it was easy.
We're... friendly. Not friends, but friendly. But that's how it is sometimes. I try not to "feel bad" for her, try not to be overly mean about her...
Man this reply kinda turned into a whole spiel. Sorry, lol.
Omegasquash
Member
Gotta let it out. Helps to hear yourself say it, and it justifies all the pats on the back you oughta be giving yourself.
And a knife? Sheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeit. You're a better man than I would be for being friendly. I'd not give her the time of day.
POWERSPHERE
Member
It'll end when he wakes up.
djSyndrome
Member
Had a past girlfriend that over the course of several years repeatedly threatened to kill herself if I didn't leave my wife and kids to get back together with her.
And one day she did.
NotTheGuyYouKill
Member
Wow.
Wait...what? This needs more explanation.
Northern Lights
Banned
Gotta get rid of crazy and the sunlight will be brighter than ever.
Randolph Freelander
Member
Generally speaking, it's his life and if he's happy, then good. Leave him/them alone.
Specifically speaking, if he's not happy, then be there for him. If she's actually unstable, then help your friend get her help.
But back to general. It's good. You grow older, your life changes and your friends change. Get used to it.
Specifically speaking, if he's not happy, then be there for him. If she's actually unstable, then help your friend get her help.
But back to general. It's good. You grow older, your life changes and your friends change. Get used to it.
Lordy. :|
djSyndrome
Member
This isn't my thread to hijack, but long story short: high school sweetheart got mad that I broke up with her, never got over it. Kept trying to get me back for years, eventually had a restraining order and everything even after I married. She would disappear for a year at a time only to come out of the woodwork and threaten all kinds of things, including suicide.
In 2011 after another series of pleading/threats she suddenly went silent. Got a call from her mom a few days later that she was found dead in her car. She had overdosed on pills in a church parking lot and left a note.
At first I didn't believe it, but a quick search of the county coroner's website confirmed everything.
I don't really lose sleep over it any longer, and my wife is sure glad she's gone and not harassing us any longer. The lesson here is if someone threatens suicide and you don't acquiesce to their demands - no matter how insane - be prepared for the small (but real) possibility that they will follow through.
wondermega
Member
I've seen this shit a few times sadly. Sometimes the dude wises up and moves on - other times he gets stuck in the rut for various reasons (guilt, drama addict, codependency) and gets trapped for years, maybe life. As a friend/acquaintance on the sidelines, often most you can do is watch and hope that someday, someone will come to their senses cause in my experience, getting involved doesn't mean squat but drama for yourself as well 
WyndhamPrice
Member
I was in a relationship for 5.5 years with my first girlfriend and looking back I was incredibly naive. She was clingy and passive aggressive, and would get pretty emotional about really inconsequential things. My "real" friends never really understood why we were dating and my parents couldn't stand her (but kept it pretty much to themselves).
But hey, I was a teenager and she would have sex with me. The mental hoops one is able to jump through under those circumstances are incredible.
We probably should've broken up when she went to college (she was a year ahead of me in high school), but I had no idea what I was doing and I seriously thought she would hurt herself if I tried. Eventually when we did break up (halfway through my sophomore year of college) it was because she found another guy nearby that she could see all the time (we were 3 hours away by train after I went to college). I cried after it happened, but more as a kind of catharsis than actual emotional devastation.
It took months of reconnecting with old friends and being by myself (and discovering alcohol!) before I was totally okay.
She's about to get married to that dude she met and we're friendly but I don't go out of my way to talk to her these days. I have seen her exactly one time in real life since we broke up.
But hey, I was a teenager and she would have sex with me. The mental hoops one is able to jump through under those circumstances are incredible.
We probably should've broken up when she went to college (she was a year ahead of me in high school), but I had no idea what I was doing and I seriously thought she would hurt herself if I tried. Eventually when we did break up (halfway through my sophomore year of college) it was because she found another guy nearby that she could see all the time (we were 3 hours away by train after I went to college). I cried after it happened, but more as a kind of catharsis than actual emotional devastation.
It took months of reconnecting with old friends and being by myself (and discovering alcohol!) before I was totally okay.
She's about to get married to that dude she met and we're friendly but I don't go out of my way to talk to her these days. I have seen her exactly one time in real life since we broke up.
EatinOlives
Member
He needs to drop that shit instantly and get her to suicide counseling if she really is suicidal and not just blowing smoke up his ass.
"omg i kill myself" and "omg i'm pregnant" are two go-to last-ditch desperation moves to prevent a breakup, and very frequently neither are actually true. She sounds psychotic and your friend needs to realize it. Not for the sake of "bros before hos", but because he's stuck in a completely unhealthy relationship.
"omg i kill myself" and "omg i'm pregnant" are two go-to last-ditch desperation moves to prevent a breakup, and very frequently neither are actually true. She sounds psychotic and your friend needs to realize it. Not for the sake of "bros before hos", but because he's stuck in a completely unhealthy relationship.
Collete
Member
It's been repeated before in advice, but I know a friend like this.
Unfortunately you can't do much for them unless he realizes his mistake and he gets himself out of it. You can present him all the facts and logic, but he's emotionally bound to this chick. At the most you can do is get her to seek help because it sounds like she has poor mental health.
Be there for him as a friend though, he will need you when he does get out of this (hopefully). And you are his friend in general, help him out when you can.
It just sucks because you see your friend suffering, but he says he's happy...But you know it's not good for him at all. There are some things more valuable in life than finding a girl (even if she's crazy) that likes you. Your own mental well being and social life.
Unfortunately you can't do much for them unless he realizes his mistake and he gets himself out of it. You can present him all the facts and logic, but he's emotionally bound to this chick. At the most you can do is get her to seek help because it sounds like she has poor mental health.
Be there for him as a friend though, he will need you when he does get out of this (hopefully). And you are his friend in general, help him out when you can.
It just sucks because you see your friend suffering, but he says he's happy...But you know it's not good for him at all. There are some things more valuable in life than finding a girl (even if she's crazy) that likes you. Your own mental well being and social life.
Vermillion
Banned
I dunno... Would calling 911 and claiming her as a suicide risk before breaking up with her help?
My first reaction was this too, but then I thought about it and that would totally suck. I may be lonely now, but at least nobody's forcing me to cut ties with my friends. So no, even if I don't like it, I'd rather keep on being alone than be in a toxic relationship like the one OP described.
wondermega
Member
Young guy = "oh god why am I alone I would give everything to have even a crazy chick, why why why"
Older guy = "now why in the name of fuck would I wanna be in a relationship with anyone, never mind some crazy broad? Just leave me alone"
CrudeDiatribe
Member
Can you suggest that he talks to her parents? Surely her making suicide threats would get their attention.
Pffff, you shouldn't be so dismissive of women posting in this thread.
lol
Cloud Strife
Member
Going through a similar thing OP
My best friend's girlfriend (we are 21) is 17 and still incredibly immature. One time I was watching THE BREAKING BAD FINALE with him and she calls asking him to figure out plans for the evening. He mentions that we are watching the show and that he'll figure it out later and she says "WHO DO YOU LOVE MORE, THE SHOW OR ME".
I have no idea why >.> but ever since he started seeing her, he's stopped hanging out with our group of friends. She's incredibly anti-social and won't even be in the same room as us.
What you should do (and what I did) is tell your friend straight up. Talk about your concerns and the state of play and see how far you get.
Clingy/needy significant others piss me off quite a bit so I understand how it can be frustrating.
My best friend's girlfriend (we are 21) is 17 and still incredibly immature. One time I was watching THE BREAKING BAD FINALE with him and she calls asking him to figure out plans for the evening. He mentions that we are watching the show and that he'll figure it out later and she says "WHO DO YOU LOVE MORE, THE SHOW OR ME".
I have no idea why >.> but ever since he started seeing her, he's stopped hanging out with our group of friends. She's incredibly anti-social and won't even be in the same room as us.
What you should do (and what I did) is tell your friend straight up. Talk about your concerns and the state of play and see how far you get.
Clingy/needy significant others piss me off quite a bit so I understand how it can be frustrating.
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