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[Cyan]

Not much time left!

 

[lupin23rd]

Some really good ideas in the entries, tough to choose, but I liked:

1. MikeM
2. Sqwarlock
3. adj_noun

HM: Tangent, who made me want to write a story starring a red panda as an excuse to post picture(s) of red pandas

 

[Mike M]

Surprised to get a vote from someone not ThLunarian. His I kinda counted on

 

[Sober]

Voting time!

1. Tangent
2. Mike M
3. sqwarlock

Sober -- Crossfire:
I still remember your other story about these characters, and I'm a sucker for Narnia type stories. I still thought that this felt too ripped out of context, though.

Sober -- Crossfire: Oh hey, I think I remember this setting. Didn’t you have a previous story about Roland and Katerina after they had already returned to the regular world about Roland wanting to go back? It’s an interesting setting that I’d like to see a fully-fleshed out story built around. This little snippet though seems largely divorced from the core premise of people from the everyday world being stuck in a world of high fantasy, which makes the mention of that fact towards the beginning kind of a throwaway mention. If I didn’t have the previous knowledge of the setting, I’d probably have been pretty confused, but as an excerpt it works well enough in that it drops enough of a hint to make you want to read more, but is otherwise a self-contained event.

Not the same characters or setting but yeah I did rip the basic premise to use for NaNo earlier because I was running out of ideas and it ended up being the stuff I really loved writing the most. It is a little short because of the word count but it sort of fit into a larger part I was writing before I crossed the 50k line and promptly slowed down. So I'm glad I got to get it out of the way even though there's more to go and everything. I still have a bad habit of detail because in all honesty I haven't fleshed out my setting too much, just the characters.

The only other edited thing from that setting from my NaNo scribbles is another piece I wrote that I pared down to 3000 words for an actual assignment which got a pretty good response (not to toot my own horn) and gave me bump I needed to keep writing for this. If anyone wants to read it lemme know, or actually I might just shamelessly post it in the next CWC thread when it opens.

 

[Cyan]

Votes:
1. adj_noun - "Has-No-Home and the Forbidden Suit" - great stuff. I think what really works for me in this one is the strong feeling throughout that this is just one episode in a long and adventuresome life. We get enough references to past and future adventures to really make it breathe.
2. Tangent - "Perceived as Inanimate" - Love it. I busted up laughing at the bit about being a pathological liar.
3. Ourobolus - "Going down" - the punchline really got me, though I can't help but thinking the birthday boy should've been the package recipient.
HM: DumbNameD - "Box" - Strong all the way through near the end, when I totally lost the plot.

Sorry, didn't have time to do specific feedback, but can do it on request.

 

[Tangent]

Man I miss reading everyone's stuff. It's good to be back! Once again, very awesome, engaging stuff all around. I know that some of you specifically asked for feedback, but the clock is ticking. Sorry won't be able to fit it in this time around. Pretty stinky of me.

1. Nezumi
2. Lunarian
3. Cyan
HM: adj_noun, Ourobolus, MikeM

HM: Tangent, who made me want to write a story starring a red panda as an excuse to post picture(s) of red pandas

Do it. In all seriousness, what is up with red pandas? Why do they get the upper hand on being one of the coolest animals on the planet?!

Tangent -- Perceived as Inanimate: You used “greige” as a meaning some combination of gray and beige. I hate you now : P. Seriously, got in a ridiculous argument with my wife over what a stupid term that was (IT’S JUST CALLED BEIGE, GOD DAMN IT! IF YOU PUT GRAY IN IT, YOU JUST HAVE A TONE OF BEIGE!), but that’s neither here nor there... Anyway, this was pretty close to being a cute little tale, but I felt calling out specific dialects was out of place (Where was this rabbit that it was running into a pack of coyotes were one of them was from Australia and hawks from Boston?), and the references to biological and psychological functions, while nauseatingly accurate (“my nutritious droppings”), detracted from the charm of the story. Loved the last paragraph of the first ending though, I would have otherwise called you out on that detail : )

Lol! For the record, a few years ago, a friend's friend or girlfriend or someone like that said, "Don't you love the walls?! I painted them GREIGE! It's a combination of gray and beige!" I couldn't believe it. I didn't see these walls, but I imagine they were boring. Point taken about the accent distraction. It's just that when I read the story to myself, I used those accents. I need to figure out how to execute stories so that my reading actually comes through. Or maybe that doesn't matter. I think Spencer was proud of his shit, to some level, so that's why it said, "nutritious droppings." But point taken, most definitely!

Other notes:
- Ashes, we missed you!
- Cyan, props for submitting a story!! Congrats for doing so! We are all crossing our fingers.

 

[DumbNameD]

1. Ourobolus
2. sqwarlock
3. adj_noun

----------
re: my story

Spoiler

Originally, the antagonist was going to drink the drink and then have a different sort of epiphany. But figured that would be too expected. Unexpectedly, the whole thing ended up being 'Field of Dreams' if the cornfield were a bar and if the field were burned down. It should be noted that the grandfather was deceased. Koppel poured the drink onto the ground which created a slick spot which caused him to trip which allowed Barton to escape which dissipated its magic at that place and time, including the presence of the grandfather as a young man.

 

[Nezumi]

There are still some people that haven't voted so far. If you guys are still reading just say so, otherwise I'll post the results in one hour!

 

[Nezumi]

Results:

1.) Tangent - Perceived as Inanimate
2.) - Mike M - The Westbound Man
- Nezumi - The Itch
- Cyan - Back end of Nowhere
- sqwarlock - Hell rises to the Hollows
3.)Ourobolus - Going Down

Vote Count:

Tangent - 15 (4)
Mike M - 8 (2)
Nezumi - 8 (2)
Cyan - 8 (1)
sqwarlock - 8
Ourobolus - 6 (1)
adj_noun - 5 (1)
DumbNameD - 4
EdibleKnife - 2

Congratulation Tangent! A clear victory. Looking forward to your new challenge

 

[Ourobolus]

Oh dammit, I thought we had longer to vote. >_<

 

[Mike M]

Votes tallied before I'm even up in the morning?

What madness is this?

 

[Nezumi]

Votes tallied before I'm even up in the morning?

What madness is this?

It's called GMT+1
I was pretty sure Tangent had this. Had it been closer I would have waited a bit longer.

 

[sqwarlock]

Included in a tie for 2nd place? That's way better than I hoped. Thanks to all those who voted for me, and for the comments I received about my story.

 

[Cyan]

Congrats, Tangent! Now pick a new topic!

 

[tirminyl]

Congrats Tangent. There were some great stories this challenge.

 

[Mike M]

Honestly placed higher than I thought I would.

Where's the next topic? I usually have a first draft by now...

 

[Cyan]

Honestly placed higher than I thought I would.

Where's the next topic? I usually have a first draft by now...

Tangent is a topic tortoise.

 

[Tangent]

Thanks peeps! Wow and what a second place extravaganza. Y'know what they say: second is the best! And first is the.. wait a minute!

Tangent is a topic tortoise.

Perhaps, but slow and steady wins the race. Oh wait! Someone already clarified in a short story (I can't remember who) that the hare was duped.

Ok, coming up in a jiffy...

 

[Cyan]

*red magic*

New thread! http://www.neogaf.com/forum/showthread.php?t=736045