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Official Euro 2008 Thread - No England, but still plenty of English

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God save the Queen


She ain't no human being


There's no future


In England's dreaming




To the Official Euro 2008 Thread. I am your host, Kara K. And (you may call me Kara), world renown:
  • drunkard
  • sports thread starter and general lover of sport
  • impartial observer


Some silly European sovereign nations that sound made up to me (WTF is a Czech and how do they have a republic?) and Turkey. Here is a handy visual guide.


That may be wrong though. I don't see England on there at all...


Football. Fútbol. Futebol. Fotbol. Футбол. ποδοσφαίρο. Footie. Soccer. The beautiful game. Etc.


Tangentially-related story you will humor: when I was a little kid my mom used to say, "wo bist du?" when she was looking for me around the house.


Keeping with recent tradition, UEFA has awarded the hosting of this year's tournament to not one but TWO nations because Europe is full of little countries that can't support a class tournament themselves.

In this corner!


  • Who? Austria
  • What? A country of Germans that didn't want to be Germans. (Actually we wouldn't even let them be them if they wanted after we kicked their asses in Dubya Dubya Two. U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A!)
  • Where? Next to Germany, the Czech Republic, Slovakia, Hungary, Slovenia, Italy, Switzerland and Liechtenstein.
  • When? 1955
  • Why? hadareud's parents needed somewhere to live.

And in THIS corner!


  • Who? Confoederatio Helvetica. Schweizerische Eidgenossenschaft. (I love German.) Confédération suisse. Confederazione Svizzera. Confederaziun svizra. (lol Romansh.) Swiss Confederation. Switzerland.
  • What? "In Italy, for thirty years under the Borgias, they had warfare, terror, murder, bloodshed — they produced Michelangelo, Leonardo da Vinci and the Renaissance. In Switzerland, they had brotherly love, they had five hundred years of democracy and peace, and what did that produce? The cuckoo clock."
  • Where? Next to Germany, France, Italy, Austria and Liechtenstein
  • When? 1291
  • Why? The Nazis needed somewhere to stash their Jew gold.


The tournament begins on the seventh of June, 2008 of the Era Vulgaris and concludes on the twenty-ninth of the same month and year.


We need something to do until the English Premier League is back in season. Arsenal supporters need an excuse as to why their players are injured all next season. People like to feel proud about something they had no control over (where they were born) and football is a much nicer way of doing that than waging war. UEFA is jealous of CONCACAF and needs to put on spectacles to make themselves feel better. Etc.


  1. Troll troll troll. This isn't gaming side where you have to hide the fact you care more about Nintendo than moving out of your parents' basement with stealth trolls. Be loud. Be proud. Flaunt it like you stole it. Etc.
  2. Be funny. This is partially related to the above but needs its own line item. I am not here for your football analysis. You are not Mama Smurf or me. I am here to be entertained and nothing entertains me like a good laugh. In short: What would Manics do?
  3. There are spoilers. It is embarrassing that I even have to say this but spoiler haters are the ones in power at GAF soooooooo. Anyways, television broadcasts and streams will NOT sync up across the globe for this competition. If you are here to live post during matches someone will be ahead of you in time and they WILL post comments about what they are watching. If you are bothered by this go take a long walk off a short cliff, I am not highlighting spoiler text.
  4. Cast your lot. I hate it when lurkers come out of the woodwork in sports threads, troll, then don't identify who they back themselves. Quid pro quo is awesome, brothers and sisters. As such I would very much appreciate it if you identified who you are backing in your first post in the thread or don an avatar making it clear for everyone. Time permitting I may or may not keep a running log for newcomers centralizing all this information.
  5. No whiners. I am sorry your father was a failure of a man and never told you to stop being a pussy in your formative years. I don't care if the ref sends off 4 of your players with red cards or gives Cristiano Ronaldo a PK (that he will miss lolololololol) because he dove in the box. Refs don't beat you, the other team does.
  6. Read my fucking OP completely. I spent a lot of time on it because I love each and every one of you. (Actually I woke up at 4 this morning because that always happens when I drink too much and needed something to do.) GAF has this awesome "ban people that don't read the OP" rule and I WILL do everything in my power to see it enforced with all due diligence because I am a petty, petty man.
  7. The Tower of Babel fell down. Feel free to talk to your comrades in arms with your shared tongue(s), it does not bother me even though I can only speak / understand 4 languages. It would be nice if most of your posts were in English though because I value what you have to say and would like to know what it is you are saying most of the time. Also I don't think the mods will appreciate a bunch of non-English talk-talk and I don't want this thread locked.
  8. I am a solipsist. Don't correct me. I don't care if I said something wrong in another language or if I said Cesc Fabregas is ass. You are not me and thus I don't care because you are part of some shared illusion designed to torture me.
  9. Beautiful! Even numbered lists are ugly. (Take that, Ten Commandments.)

If you don't like my law I am sad because I am a benevolent lawgiver but ultimately must say tough shit. I got the gold, bitch. And as Jafar said in Aladdin, whoever has the gold makes the rules.


My heart says:


My genes (1/4 Italian) + head wanted to say until recent injury news:


It definitely won't be:



Hooker said:
Ugh, England overdose in this topic. Get that filth out of here!
They invented (OK codified) the game and they can't even make a continental tournament. You sir have no appreciation for the lulz.


Awesome thread! :lol

Since Scotland didn't make it yet again, I'll back France like usual since its the only country I have ever been abroad to. Happened to be there when they won the world cup and it was just an awesome atmosphere, was in a bar sat next to some crazy dutch peeps throwing bangers at their feet and after the match we saw a car going round a roundabout celebrating and the next day we saw it stuck in a fence.

Will be happy to see Germany win it otherwise since one of my best mates is German.


Junior Member
Been talking to some English folks on Live and I will say I am surprised England did not make it. But when they start carrying on, I just tell tell them "Sour grapes make a bad whine". :D
I wish the USA was good enough to at least be invited one of these days.

The European Championship odds for this EURO 2008 betting tournament, see Germany as clear 4/1 favourites. They have held this position at the head of the betting since the draw for the Finals was made. It is no surprise because the German’s probably have the best record of any country in the world in major championship football.

That said it is also true that the German’s are nothing like the team they once were. They no longer seem to have those commanding world class players of yesteryear. The likes of Muller, Beckenbauer, Overath, Ruminigger, Klinsman, Mattheus, to name but a bare handful are all phantoms of the past and it seems that Germany these days lack that type of class. It is for this reason that we believe they are there for the taking.

The German’s still possess great pride however and they will not be easy to beat, and they might even reach the latter stages, but just looking at their most recent friendly, the 2-2 draw with Belarus, it is clear that they will need to improve dramatically to win the Tournament. They play Serbia next in their final warm up game and it will be very interesting to see how they perform. It was also interesting to see that Miroslav Klose was amongst the scorers against Belarus and he could well become the Tournament’s top scorer. He is 9/1 to achieve this.


hadareud said:
Karak, and?
The actual way of saying my name is Ka-ra-kand (roll the R with your tongue) but Ka Ra Kand looks crappier than Kara K. And and I am a graphics whore at heart.
At the start of the tournament I'm not supporting anyone as England aren't there. Then I'll try and watch every game and make a decision due to who's playing the best football; fuck a team like Greece winning it again!!


The Translator
I'll support Austria and Holland.

And I'll support Germany, Italy and Portugal to go out as quickly as possible.


While I'm 'English' in the sense that I was born and bred here I have 1/4 English, 1/4 German, 1/4 Italian, and 1/4 Spanish blood. Whom shall I pick this year? :D


Fuck Cancer

NutJobJim said:
While I'm 'English' in the sense that I was born and bred here I have 1/4 English, 1/4 German, 1/4 Italian, and 1/4 Spanish blood. Whom shall I pick this year? :D


NutJobJim said:
While I'm 'English' in the sense that I was born and bred here I have 1/4 English, 1/4 German, 1/4 Italian, and 1/4 Spanish blood. Whom shall I pick this year? :D
I was in a similar predicament myself. (Parents really need to think of these things when they marry people that are 4 ethnicities too.) I ended up with this:

  1. Poland (The only European grandparent I actually knew was from Warsaw. Also it's nice to root for the underdog.)
  2. Italy (As a Manchester Shitty supporter it is nice to actually root for a team that has a chance to win something in football.)
  3. France (Very distant in the family tree. Also where my English family ultimately hails from and we all know how England is the plague when it comes to Euro 2008.)

So root for them all, just prioritize!


Go France!
I just wanted there to be one french supporter on the first page ... especially since we're going to win this thing.


Temp Banned for Remedial Purposes
Like Tom Hagen I'm Kraut-Mick, but Ireland didn't qualify and after the way they cheated us at the 2002 WC, I would sooner cheer for the LSU football team than Germany.

Has Ireland done anything internationally since the '94 WC? I remember how funny all those pale Irish guys looked playing in those hot as hell day games.


I hope Germany and Sweden make it past the group stages, that's all.

Germany because I'd hate myself for not supporting them and Sweden because their flag has nice colors and their women look gorgeous (thanks world cup for opening my eyes).

My bet for player of the tournament:


From this Euro on players should be named player of the tournament based on the AWESOMENESS of their website.
I'm from the US and am a fair weather fan of Yurop teams so I'll be supporting whoever is playing the most exciting football.

Edit: and great OP. I love the England jokes.


Excellent work, kara.

I'll be rooting for the Dutch.


I'll be hating on Portugal every chance I get. C Ronaldo is a crybaby and isn't half the footballer the REAL Ronaldo once was. And he never will be.

I also dislike the Italians. Toni's a nice guy though.

I'll cheer for Russia (Hiddink!) and Poland (Beenhakker).

Either Italy or Croatia will win the tournament.

Player of the tournament will be Ribery. He will also be voted the ugliest player of the tournament:



Forza Italia! Cannavaro? We don't need no stinkin Cannavaro!!

Watching Italy win this year is gonna give Capello some good motivational material for the Brits


kamorra said:
There will be tears... again ;)

Eh, I'd deal with losing in the final again. Anything less than that would be a huge disappointment though given the level of our players, beyond 98, 00 or 06 imo.


300chf ain't shit to me
i hope there's not a lot of partying going on late at night on the weekend. i live around all the bars and stuff, and i need my sleep! :'(
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