It's nice to see such an article, and in celebration of that I'm now going to nitpick aaaaaall the little mistakes (to be fair, many are from emails he's got from fans who he's trusting to know what they're on about):
Portsmouth -- Reader comments included, "Blue-collar fans, blue-collar team, there are no executive boxes at their ground which means it's very rowdy and the club has no money"
The club has
lots of money. And a new stadium on the way.
Blackburn -- Everyone agrees this is the dirtiest team in the EPL -- they even take a fair amount of pride in this fact.
Hey! We don't take
pride. Alright, maybe in the same way a guy who's been in jail 7 times uses it to look cool, even though it's actually ****ed up and he knows it. He wishes he'd never been to jail or at least that no one knows about it, but everyone does know so he's either got to take the shit or pretend it's something to be proud of. That's the sort of pride we have.
and I couldn't gamble on the whole relegation thing.
*
sputters in indignation*
But I'm keeping an eye on them.
That's more like it.
Reading -- The ultimate Cinderella story: They were recently elevated to EPL status for the first time in 135 years. Unfortunately, they have no fans -- I probably got three e-mails making their case. I don't want to be stuck with the EPL version of the Arizona Cardinals.
He says he doesn't want relegation candidates, but
Reading aren't in his 9 definite "no"s?
Relegated, damn you.
"Good for people who like '80s music and make references to George Michaels."
I don't even know what that means.
Manchester United -- Estimated number of "I don't care who you pick, just don't pick Manchester United" e-mails: At least 700-750. By all accounts, they're the New York Yankees of the EPL -- they outspend everyone else
5 years ago.
Financially, they blow almost everyone out of the water
5 years ago.
they're almost like a European All-Star team
5 years a...wait, never.
Along with Manchester United, the Blues outspend everyone else in the EPL
Correction: The Blues outspend everyone else in the EPL
I don't like "EPL" much either, too American. Almost like that's where the writer's from.
You might remember Terry as the only English player who showed up for the 2006 World Cup.
You might remember that he wasn't on top form and Rio was actually better for once and Hargreaves turned up. Though he's not English. So technically that's ok.
Manager Jose Mourinho...wears all black
Since when?
5. ARSENAL
American Comparison: their prolonged championship drought ending in 2004
Well....they won it in 2002 and 1998, so no.
Probably the EPL's most popular team
Well....not by supporters, but probably generally the most popular team to those who support someone else.
Most Hated Rival: Tottenham Hotspur. Some call this the most heated rivalry in the EPL other than Newcastle against everybody.
Wuh? Who outside of the north-east hates Newcastle? Who even cares about Newcastle?
Man City - "Most of England hates them, they are filled with a bunch of thugs that are three to five years past their prime."
Again, do most of England hate them? Written by a United fan maybe? I don't think anyone cares about them. And I don't think they have a reputation as a bunch of thugs past their prime. Must have got mixed up from the Blackburn emails.
Sponsors: A travel company called Thomas Cook. It's a bad sign when you have a sponsor that nobody knows, right?
Everyone in the UK knows Thomas Cook.
Vacation Destination: That's a big fat N-O.
Fine, until...
(Newcastle) Vacation Destination: Not a complete disaster.
Come ooon, and...
(Liverpool) Vacation Destination: Only if you've been kidnapped.
Oh I'm sorry, is the European capital city of culture not good enough for you? I realise it's no Newcastle, but really...
Most Hated Rival: Sunderland, a team that can't even crack the EPL right now. That's a bad sign.
Cracking the Premiership isn't exactly easy. I'm not sure he quite understands the different levels of English football (not that Sunderland aren't shit).
Random Fact that I Found Interesting: Newcastle's No. 9 jersey is the most famous jersey in the EPL -- called the Shirt of Legends
I have never,
ever heard of this. Not in aaaaaaall the years Shearer has worn it. I didn't even know there was a most famous Premiership shirt, therefore I must conclude that there isn't.
(Liverpool) the best player in the league
Well....it's not that simple. It's not a reaosn to pick them over Arsenal, Man Utd or Chelsea anyway, who could easily stake that claim too.
rivalry with London that mirrors Boston/New York
To be honest, I don't know what the rivalry between Boston and New York is, so maybe it's exactly like it. But if it's meant to be two directly competing major cities, one clearly beating the other, that's more like Birmingham and London or even Manchester and London.
he is also likely to be appointed England's new captain now that Beckham has stepped down
I'd say it's 60/40 in Terry's favour right now.
Most Hated Rival: Any of the London teams.
....
Everton?
Man Utd?
....
London teams? I guess they don't like Chelsea much....but no.
The Spurs. This is important: You either call then "Tottenham Hotspur" or you call them "the Spurs," but no other option is acceptable.
Or Spurs.
Way back in the day, other English teams' fans would derisively jeer Tottenham fans, stereotyping them as Jews and calling them just about every anti-Semitic name you could call someone.
Way back in the day?
Spurs isn't a bad choice though. And he chose a Blackburn pic, so I give this article the thumbs up.
