Buckethead
Banned
Date got cancelled last week.
Girl deleted her profile.
Love this site. Lot's of good people on it.
Girl deleted her profile.
Love this site. Lot's of good people on it.
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Okcupid is not that bad. I already got a date!
- Thread starter AlimNassor
- Start date
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Liu Kang Baking A Pie
Member
What's the problem?
Buckethead
Banned
Let me rephrase for accuracy.
She rescheduled our date an hour before it was supposed to happen, reiterated interest in it happening down the road, but now deletes her profile.
I'm not dumb, it's clear she wasn't digging me or comfortable with it, so just say so, and I'll wish you the best of luck.
I'm just not a fan of the lame excuses and dishonesty.
Liu Kang Baking A Pie
Member
Or she found someone else, or she isn't interested in dating right now for whatever reason.
Buckethead
Banned
Is that too much to ask to be communicated?
Liu Kang Baking A Pie
Member
She doesn't know you or owe you anything, and communicating "this isn't going to happen" usually doesn't work out positively for most women. I mean, look at your reaction to NOT getting that.
Buckethead
Banned
Whatever, man. You're making this a thing.
Don't say you're interested in hanging if you're not. Simple as that.
Don't say you're interested in hanging if you're not. Simple as that.
Liu Kang Baking A Pie
Member
Well, you're already saying she's not a good person just based on a profile delete. You took the rejection bad. Accept the L, Shia.
Maddocks
Member
She tossed you for another. Things like that will happen when its online dating because no one is accountable for their actions. She gave you an excuse, but the key is to move on. Never think about the past and always look forward.
A Human Becoming
More than a Member
Was viewing all the questions you and a match disagreed on always an A-List feature?
Liu Kang Baking A Pie
Member
Ha, no. I kind of like that people can't just go directly there to make easy disqualifications now, though.
A Human Becoming
More than a Member
I don't. Sometimes there can be serious dealbreakers in there.
Perspicacity
Banned
I'm pretty sure that's the point.
csquared587
Member
Now I know I shouldn't take it personally, but man does it sting when you ask to meet after 20ish seemingly positive messages and then they hide their profile.
I mean, I understand why, but it sure feels bad lol.
I mean, I understand why, but it sure feels bad lol.
RedAssedApe
Banned
Is the "who's new" option broken or something? I feel like I'm getting trolled. Everyone that shows up in that type of search looks to be "a little extra" or above in body type. I'm in Los Angeles. This just a coincidence? lol
A Human Becoming
More than a Member
It's a shitty point. I don't want to put a lot of effort into someone who is super religious or hates gays. Taking away features is not a good way to incentive people to pay money.
Perspicacity
Banned
Oh wait, I didn't understand what you are saying. Viewing Unacceptable Answers isn't an A-List feature...
Liu Kang Baking A Pie
Member
It is now! You don't have the new "The Two of Us" design yet.
Well, I crashed and burned yesterday. It wasn't on OKC, but someone I met on the bus. I tried to strike up a conversation, but she was writing something and was like "Uh...sorry, I really have to finish this." Might not be the biggest thing in the world, but still.
Perspicacity
Banned
To be honest I just have a fake account right now. Just became single again a couple of weeks ago and thinking about jumping back in, I guess when I do I won't be able to compare answers? Lame.
I have no idea what this means
kame-sennin
Member
There are a looooot of women online today.
A Human Becoming
More than a Member
He was unsuccessful initiating a conversation with a woman.
I think woman take being single on Single's Awareness Day harder than men.
Correct. Now maybe she was legit busy, but she just came off as not wanting to talk, period. Ah well.
beanman25
Member
So, tonight after 2 years, I had my first actual "date" or whatever you want to call it. She is going to KU, so we had to talk over Skype. I was incredibly nervous, but feel so comfortable now, like right away conversations just clicked. Even if nothing comes from this, I have a lot more confidence now!
EatinOlives
Member
So update on the last couple weeks (not that anyone gives a shit, lol). As I suspected, girl I was messaging didn't get back to me after she rescheduled like 3 times, not surprised. Took a couple of weeks off, thinking I need to take good photos, spent some time over those two weeks taking some good ones. Came back a few days ago, re-did the photos, re-did some info, sent a good 10-15 messages out. One bothered to reply only twice, then she stopped right after that.
Done with OKC. It's starting to suggest people from out of town. There must be something in my profile completely deal breaking but I've re-worked everything as best I could. The whole thing has been a waste of time.
Done with OKC. It's starting to suggest people from out of town. There must be something in my profile completely deal breaking but I've re-worked everything as best I could. The whole thing has been a waste of time.
So I haven't been in the game for a few years and have never used a dating site before.
What's the best way to contact someone there? Just shoot a short message about something on her profile, or a longer text? Do I get to the point (date) as early as possible? My gut feeling says that could come across as slightly creepy, but I have no idea how fast/slow internet dating works..
What's the best way to contact someone there? Just shoot a short message about something on her profile, or a longer text? Do I get to the point (date) as early as possible? My gut feeling says that could come across as slightly creepy, but I have no idea how fast/slow internet dating works..
Spider from Mars
tap that thorax
My method is to send a snarky message and exchange numbers within 3 or 4 messages to avoid it turning into an IM convo. It's been pretty successful so far.
HP_Wuvcraft
Banned
Traitor.
Ok - I'll see what'll come of it.
EatinOlives
Member
Did I miss a memo where asking about their job is "creepy"? Someone literally said "you guys apparently don't realize asking this is creepy" (though she answered anyway). Some girls apparently don't realize asking this means we're trying to make a conversation.
Yes I'm back on the horse after writing it off. Don't judge me
GutsOfThor
Member
Is it worth paying $20 for the A-List?
Message inboxes that are full, change your username, see if messages were read (can hurt your ego a bit), browse profiles invisibly but still see visitors.
For $20!? Save your money.
Bruce Lee Kicks
Member
So after about (almost) a month of using this site and POF and never getting a single response from anybody I've decided to bow out gracefully. At least I tried right? (shrugs)
electricshake
Member
A month isn't long enough really. I was on OKC on and off for about 18 months before I met my boyfriend.
Post your profile and example messages if you want some feedback, we can help point you in the right direction.
The thing that kills me about not having it for me is I get a lot of likes, but I can't see who it is that likes me. X[
I'm currently chatting with this one girl on okc. She seems down to earth. We called each other a few times and conversations are smooth so far. We are going to try and plan something this Friday. We were talking about our best friends for a bit. Is it bad that the way she was describing her best friend made me more interested in her friend since it sounds like we had more things in common? lol
Pryor
Member
I've not used OKC for a while now but I seem to remember that the mobile app was a bit buggy and when you went onto that screen, if you changed the orientation of your phone, you could see a couple of the details like age and location. I used to do that and then do a little searching to see exactly who had liked me.
I don't know if that is still the case though.
Bruce Lee Kicks
Member
Can't, already deleted it. I feel like I was headed in the right direction already by avoiding dating/relationships, but you guys infected me with positivity and I got bored and gave it a shot lol.
csquared587
Member
This is still the case haha. It shows me age, location, and match % of my most recent like. Easy to narrow it down from there in search.
iAmMaximus
Member
So I went on a first date yesterday that ended up being 6 hours. Went from the coffee shop, walking around the city and finally dinner. She also accepted my offer of dropping her off at home. I thought the date was going really well so I asked for a second date next Saturday and she accepted. I texted her last night night asking if she got home safely and also letting her know I had a good time--but I didn't confirm the second date in the text conversation. My question is, when should I confirm? Would it come of as needy if I text her today about the second date?
wanna link your profile? you say there might be something on there that's killing it for you, maybe we can help.
Perspicacity
Banned
It isn't the damn 90s and literally everyone is on the internet now. Don't be weird.
Depends on how you ask it. If you're literally asking "Where do you work" and it's something where you could just show up as a customer at any time to creep on her... then yeah I see the point.
A Human Becoming
More than a Member
Going to ask a lady I started texting with Sunday to do something this weekend. Figured Wednesday was enough time. Hoping to do something on her turf because I want to visit her college campus (it's an ivy league). If she can't think of anything I will.
Red_taiyaki
Member
Just wondering if this is happening to anyone else.....is anyone else getting tons of likes from random girls on OKC? Seem to get one every four to five hours or so, so I've been wondering if there's just a ton of spam bots out there or something o.o...
stn
Member
@red_taiyaki
Do you answer lots of questions? Do you think your pic is good? When you answer questions you get featured on the main page, which enhances your exposure. That, combined with a pic, tends to get messages and likes. The likes are worthless, however. I have over 100 and I don't think I've even talked to 10 of the girls who rated. I don't know who they are.
Do you answer lots of questions? Do you think your pic is good? When you answer questions you get featured on the main page, which enhances your exposure. That, combined with a pic, tends to get messages and likes. The likes are worthless, however. I have over 100 and I don't think I've even talked to 10 of the girls who rated. I don't know who they are.
I'd just like to thank GAF and this thread for inspiring me to create an OKCupid account all those months ago. It took nearly a year (possibly more, I lost track) but it paid off. I met this wonderful girl earlier this year and we started dating a week before Valentine's Day.
It took a long time but since I wasn't in a rush to meet someone, I felt it was a low investment, high reward proposition. Patience and persistence yielded results for me. Hopefully I inspire others to keep at it.
It took a long time but since I wasn't in a rush to meet someone, I felt it was a low investment, high reward proposition. Patience and persistence yielded results for me. Hopefully I inspire others to keep at it.
Uncle0wnage
Member
Fuckin' hell man, I was talkin to a really cool girl on tinder, but when I gave her my number so that we could text without the jank of the app she stopped responding. Why do I have to ruin everything for myself, haha
OJdaKiller
Member
There's absolutely nothing "creepy" about asking about someone's job. I'll speculate, but it sounds like a girl getting by on her looks..Her job isn't great. She's obviously not proud of it and feels it reflects poorly on her. Asking her about her job knocks her down a few pegs..She projects this insecurity onto others and interprets this question as a personal attack, or "creepy" (passive aggressive label).
At least this is my experience with women who have any sort of issue talking about their employment...Usually pretty but not highly educated or professionally successful.
EatinOlives
Member
Finally went on my first meet-up. Wouldn't call it a "date", because although we initially agreed to coffee and chatting (basically a date), we sat at a table first before getting coffee and we ended up not wanting to make a "thing" out of it.
I felt like she was uninterested since the beginning. She came off as energetic in her messages but was a bit too mellow when we met. Even her greeting was like "oh hey...". We talked a bit and I think I kept a very good pace of conversation but I felt I needed to talk too much to keep the conversation alive. If I let her talk for longer than like 10 seconds she'd end her sentence and almost immediately do one of those "have nothing to talk about" sighs. It was almost like she wanted to feel awkward if that makes any sense. After about an hour I was like "yeah I have [such-and-such] to do", she got the hint, and parted ways. I dunno. It was like if you met someone and liked them enough to actually want to meet you shouldn't push the "omg so bored" narrative since the very beginning. At least I got talking practice out of it.
Her job isn't great, it's a standard grocery store gig. I mean, in a way it was probably foolish of me to make conversation out of a job as generic as that, and maybe that's what got her annoyed, but her reaction that it was "creepy" and her heavy implication that I'd go stalking her really put me off. No big loss at any rate.
I felt like she was uninterested since the beginning. She came off as energetic in her messages but was a bit too mellow when we met. Even her greeting was like "oh hey...". We talked a bit and I think I kept a very good pace of conversation but I felt I needed to talk too much to keep the conversation alive. If I let her talk for longer than like 10 seconds she'd end her sentence and almost immediately do one of those "have nothing to talk about" sighs. It was almost like she wanted to feel awkward if that makes any sense. After about an hour I was like "yeah I have [such-and-such] to do", she got the hint, and parted ways. I dunno. It was like if you met someone and liked them enough to actually want to meet you shouldn't push the "omg so bored" narrative since the very beginning. At least I got talking practice out of it.
Her job isn't great, it's a standard grocery store gig. I mean, in a way it was probably foolish of me to make conversation out of a job as generic as that, and maybe that's what got her annoyed, but her reaction that it was "creepy" and her heavy implication that I'd go stalking her really put me off. No big loss at any rate.
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