I wouldn't, guess that makes me a shitty person.
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People are generally very unwilling to help.
- Thread starter Zakalwe
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I wouldn't, guess that makes me a shitty person.
This all happened in 20 minutes or so. The only train that was even close to being a possibility of leaving any time soon was about to leave, so I had to act quick.
Had the train guard not let me through, I'd definitely have done this. I'd have asked police if I could use a phone, asked shop assistants, etc... as I made my way home on the 20 mile walk...
I understand scams happen, but I'm pretty amazed at the responses in the thread. I'm cautious with my things, I know how easy it is to get robbed/taken advantage of in London. I don't give money to every single destitute person I'm approached by, but I do often buy them food if they're hungry.
And, again, I've lent stuff to people many times and never had an issue. I honestly think the ratio of scammers this commuted (to the point of a fake passport/phone + being presentable, middle-class in appearance, etc...) is going to be astronomically low in comparison to legit cases.
CosmicQueso
Member
OP, just because you are clean and look presentable doesn't make you special.
It doesn't make you more worthy of someone else stopping their attempt to survive every day to help you.
It doesn't make you somehow different than anyone else asking for money on the street.
You fucked up. You forgot money and let your card run out.
That's all on you.
No one else has a moral obligation to help you because you look middle class or are willing to let someone hold your phone.
This sense of entitlement that you're more deserving of help because of the way you looked is really pretty gross.
The train station attendant helped you, that was very nice. But instead of appreciating that, we get whining about the people that didn't, probably because they were scared, broke themselves, or tired from being asked for money the other 5 times they were asked on the way by you.
It doesn't make you more worthy of someone else stopping their attempt to survive every day to help you.
It doesn't make you somehow different than anyone else asking for money on the street.
You fucked up. You forgot money and let your card run out.
That's all on you.
No one else has a moral obligation to help you because you look middle class or are willing to let someone hold your phone.
This sense of entitlement that you're more deserving of help because of the way you looked is really pretty gross.
The train station attendant helped you, that was very nice. But instead of appreciating that, we get whining about the people that didn't, probably because they were scared, broke themselves, or tired from being asked for money the other 5 times they were asked on the way by you.
Fox Mulder
Member
I don't carry cash and I'm not letting anyone use my phone. Sorry.
Have even had hobos scoff at me for turning down their request for free phone use.
Have even had hobos scoff at me for turning down their request for free phone use.
Its not that people are unhelpful. They just get in panick mode and think automatically what kind of scam is this. So they rather ignore you.
The Albatross
Member
You should have offered to design their website in exchange for using their phone. Odds that a scammer is going to create a website for someone is also very low.
Fair enough this happened to you, but I'm very sceptical that these kinds of committed scams happen anywhere near enough to write off someone in a situation like mine.
Of course, remove any of the three things I had
1. Clean, presentable, articulate.
2. Offering hard to fake collateral.
3. in a brightly lit area with tonnes of cameras security.
and it immediately becomes much lest trustworthy, but all of the above? I find it very hard to believe people have run into scams like this enough to warrant this kind of response.
This is a ridiculous post for too many reasons to mention.
MrS
Banned
Lets be honest, OP would have found a way to score a massive own goal in that scenario too.
CelticKnight
Member
Sorry OP, but I wouldn't have lent you my phone.
I might've lent you £2 if my gut feeling told me you were on the level, though. Also would've lent you a charger but I rarely carry one, so that's a bit of a moot point.
I might've lent you £2 if my gut feeling told me you were on the level, though. Also would've lent you a charger but I rarely carry one, so that's a bit of a moot point.
People keep saying "what if it's a scam?" and sure, I wouldn't have lended my phone. I don't ever lend my phone.
But why does it matter if someone's running a scam for a few bucks? If you're that hard-up for money yourself, sure! That money is important to you. If not? Is it really that big of a deal if you toss someone a small amount of money and a week later, or even a litte while later, you see them doing it again?
That's what I legitimately don't understand. If someone asks for 2 bucks and I have 2 bucks I'll toss it over to them--especially if they look like they need to be somewhere.
But why does it matter if someone's running a scam for a few bucks? If you're that hard-up for money yourself, sure! That money is important to you. If not? Is it really that big of a deal if you toss someone a small amount of money and a week later, or even a litte while later, you see them doing it again?
That's what I legitimately don't understand. If someone asks for 2 bucks and I have 2 bucks I'll toss it over to them--especially if they look like they need to be somewhere.
I've been scammed a few times after being generous (and admittedly a bit naive). Lesson learned.
You are free to use my phone to make a call though. If you are actually willing to steal that cheap POS you deserve having it.
It's just shitty people ruining it for everyone. I go to work by train. I know some of the scammers by name that try to get a free ride pretty much every day mooching off well meaning people.
You are free to use my phone to make a call though. If you are actually willing to steal that cheap POS you deserve having it.
It's just shitty people ruining it for everyone. I go to work by train. I know some of the scammers by name that try to get a free ride pretty much every day mooching off well meaning people.
In busy areas where it's common for panhandlers to operate it's hard to get people to look at you as anything other than another one with some made up story.
It's an unfortunate reality, but as someone who works in a downtown area where the same people are always telling the same story about their kids or needing $ for food, every. single. day. you become numb to it and learn to just walk by.
It's an unfortunate reality, but as someone who works in a downtown area where the same people are always telling the same story about their kids or needing $ for food, every. single. day. you become numb to it and learn to just walk by.
I've lived in London on and off for 15 years. A few months here and there back at my parent's house outside of London, but vast majority in London.
Continue to use this thread snipe at me and ignore my responses then, you're posts are drive-by low effort quality.
If you're just going to use this thread to tell me how stupid I am without bothering to do it intelligently, please don't bother posting.
Sho_Nuff82
Member
I think OP is honestly baffled that affluent class privilege is denied when you don't have money.
Brianimaniac
Banned
Well, you're just using the thread to seek validation and argue with anyone who doesn't give it to you.
Problem is I don't think people are reading into it that much. They are seeing some person, who they don't know, asking for change and they are simply ignoring or dismissing you because you're probably the 10 person that begged them for money that day.
People simply don't want to be bothered with this.
That's utter nonsense.
It's very clear what I mean.
Ie: what are the chances, honestly, that a person who is very clearly /not/ destitute, is wearing clothes that show they're pretty well off, offering very hard to fake collateral, etc... is going to be a scam?
This has got to be incredibly low.
It's right to be cautious, but you can also use a little intelligence to assess a situation. Too many responses here stating "I would think it's a scam" without thinking, imo.
No, that's not what I'm doing at all.
Exactly. They're not reading into it enough.
This is what I'm arguing against.
Unless people run into scams where the person has all the things I've listed covered often enough for the idea it's a scam to be more likely than a person stuck asking for legitimate help?
Yep.
I bet if, for instance, the OP had crutches and was asking for help down the stairs of the train station, he would have had no issue finding people to help him, or if the OP looked emaciated and was asking for a bit of someone's chips or something.
The majority of people are willing to help when they can see the tangible benefit of their assistance. People have been burned giving away cash to strangers though and so are understandably wary of doing it again.
I'd say it's higher than someone who is clearly homeless.
While many people might think the homeless person may spend the money on cigarettes, drugs, alcohol instead of food that they claim the money is for many won't think it's a scam.
Someone who is well presented asking for money, and then starts offering their passport when someone is reluctant screams scammer more I'd say. To top it off you even say that they're wearing clothes that show they're well off, that isn't going to help, that's going to do the opposite. It's like if I see someone wearing a rolex and designer clothes and they ask me for 2 pound I'm going to be thrown back.
But anyway the title of your thread is absolutely accurate, many people are unwilling to help simply because of bad experiences or the fear of bad experiences.
GeordieMark
Member
Yeah, that sounds like London.
Your only hope was coming across someone who doesn't normally work here, and who hadn't become cold and jaded.
Your only hope was coming across someone who doesn't normally work here, and who hadn't become cold and jaded.
No offense OP, but this seriously the oldest train station scam. The odds of it being someone who actually needs help are low enough that I suspect no reasonable person would help. Its a little cold, but its a necessary self defense mechanism in a big city.
Edit: also you looking not destitute makes it look more like a scam, not less. It you look like youre doing ok, why the hell do you need my money?
Edit: also you looking not destitute makes it look more like a scam, not less. It you look like youre doing ok, why the hell do you need my money?
I do understand people's caution, but I disagree that it's higher.
My experience has taught me the exact opposite, and I find it very hard to believe most people here have had enough experience to the contrary to justify the responses.
Please, feel free to give me your honest experiences here that show I've simply been very lucky.
PrivateRyan
Member
If you were clean and presentable and at a train station, I probably would have given you the money. I've been in the same situation before, explained to the train guard and was let through, just like you were. Funnily enough, I did wonder when that happened what generally happens to people in those situations.
But hell no to anyone asking to borrow my phone. There's no way I'm letting my phone out of my sight for a nanosecond in London.
EDIT: Worth bearing in mind some people might not want to get their wallet out in a busy train station when asked by a stranger either. Again, it's London.
I also don't think your situation is indicative of people's willingness to help. The context of your situation is muddied by beggars/scam artists who present themselves in a similar way.
But hell no to anyone asking to borrow my phone. There's no way I'm letting my phone out of my sight for a nanosecond in London.
EDIT: Worth bearing in mind some people might not want to get their wallet out in a busy train station when asked by a stranger either. Again, it's London.
I also don't think your situation is indicative of people's willingness to help. The context of your situation is muddied by beggars/scam artists who present themselves in a similar way.
Your thread title is completely incorrect. People I find are more than willing to help if they believe that's what they're actually doing. Regardless of how clean & articulate you believe you are, people will assume you're a scammer or theif.
That simply isn't a good metric to judge that on, and indeed, there probably isn't one, so better safe than sorry.
That simply isn't a good metric to judge that on, and indeed, there probably isn't one, so better safe than sorry.
I just like helping people. Letting him talk to his friend over speakerphone or spending three dollars on a train ticket to help him get home isn't that hard.
pelicansurf
Needs a Holiday on Gallifrey
Some guy came up to me once and cried saying he just got out of jail and needed a little bit more money to stay at a motel for the night. Likely story.
I gave him $20 bucks. It depends on the emotion I sense from the person asking. If I think they're being genuine, I'll help them out. If I think they're looking for drug money or god forbid, boy scouts or something, I just tell them I don't carry cash, which I usually don't.
I gave him $20 bucks. It depends on the emotion I sense from the person asking. If I think they're being genuine, I'll help them out. If I think they're looking for drug money or god forbid, boy scouts or something, I just tell them I don't carry cash, which I usually don't.
I know. I've been approached by countless people asking the same, but they'll almost /all/ been obviously destitute.
Every single time I've been approached by someone who was clearly not destitute and have complied with their request of help (lending a phone, charger, laptop) - and this has happened a lot over the years - I've never, ever had an issue.
And this is what I find so strange about the responses here. Unless my experiences truly have been extraordinarily outside the norm and people are being scammed by middle-class looking people offering collateral like I did all the time?
Yes, and as I've said numerous times, I've been here 15 years and 95% of people asking for helped have been destitute.
And every single person who hasn't been destitute that I've helped has always been grateful and returned my items.
So yes, with my personal experience I am shocked, but perhaps my 15 years here has been far outside the norm.
Exactly. Even if my appearance and offer of collateral didn't reassure you, the amount of people who said to me and are saying here "not interested, could be a scam" is shocking to me. There are ways to help a person in this situation that reduce the chance of a scam a great deal.
"I'll make a call for you, but do you mind if we go stand next to those police officers?"
I wasn't even given the chance to suggest this 9/10 as the person would just walk away without even bothering to asses the situation, and this is what I find shocking.
MikeHattsu
Member
Do people in the UK usually carry their passports around? No offense OP, but that seems kinda strange 
OP, I've heard the I'm just trying to get home story too many times to actually believe it. I will give people a couple bucks every once in a while, but I still don't believe the story.
I find its the opposite, whether they're at a gas station or at a grocery store parking lot at 6am.
I find its the opposite, whether they're at a gas station or at a grocery store parking lot at 6am.
MrS
Banned
Feel free to add me to your ignore list. That's what it's for, Zakalwe. Your threads are so fantastical that I just think you're attention whoring at this point. Nobody is that unlucky, hence why I come at you with the Ol' Gil jokes.
GifGafIsTheBestGaf
Member
honestly op if i had some spare cash i would be willing to help, i had my share of people asking for help like that (some old people wanting to go back to the country side)
That sucks OP.
I've let strangers use my phone before, and on the rare occasions I've had cash on me, I've given what I could spare. I'd have helped you, OP.
The thing is, I've lived long enough to know that the vast majority of people aren't out to get you. There are certainly assholes and scammers, but I don't assume every person I encounter that asks me for a favor is one. Besides, if giving them a few bucks is somehow going to ruin my wallet, I won't do it. If I can spare it, sure. Letting someone borrow a charger if it's on me isn't a big deal either.
And this is coming from so done who's been taken advantage of in the past. That's going to make me more cautious, but it's not going to make me assume everyone is trying to take my money or scam me. I'd rather assume they need the help and help, than assume they're scamming me and turn them away, when they could actually need the help. Being suspicious of everyone isn't a comfortable way to live for me.
I've let strangers use my phone before, and on the rare occasions I've had cash on me, I've given what I could spare. I'd have helped you, OP.
The thing is, I've lived long enough to know that the vast majority of people aren't out to get you. There are certainly assholes and scammers, but I don't assume every person I encounter that asks me for a favor is one. Besides, if giving them a few bucks is somehow going to ruin my wallet, I won't do it. If I can spare it, sure. Letting someone borrow a charger if it's on me isn't a big deal either.
And this is coming from so done who's been taken advantage of in the past. That's going to make me more cautious, but it's not going to make me assume everyone is trying to take my money or scam me. I'd rather assume they need the help and help, than assume they're scamming me and turn them away, when they could actually need the help. Being suspicious of everyone isn't a comfortable way to live for me.
One Foul Note
Member
I'm sorry to say I wouldn't have given you any money. I was actually robbed about six years ago or so from someone with a fairly similar story at a train station. Luckily I only lost £10 but the experience left me super wary of anyone asking for money or to have access to my phone.
Sho_Nuff82
Member
You've asked this a dozen times in this thread, and it makes you look clueless and privileged. "Of course I'm not a beggar or scammer, I don't look like them."
You sound like the people who complain about being patted down at the airport because "hey, I don't look like a criminal!"
You have become so accustomed to the default way that society judges well dressed people that you are unable to accept that this is trumped by the way society treats the destitute and needy: with indifference, disdain, or mistrust. In fact, your attitude is a reflection of that disdain; you can only comprehend their apprehension to helping others if they look or smell like shit.
People get approached by beggars, thieves, starving musicians, religious zealots, and scammers every day on public transportation. Your nice tie is just background noise. Your photo ID (which none of them are qualified to verify) and phone are just fancy props. You, your appearance, and the specific details of your plight, are beneath their notice from the very moment you walked up with your hand out.
Unless you had a pair of great tits most people are going to feel uncomfortable even talking to you, random stranger on the bus platform.
Yours is such a common story on train stations. I can't believe you've never run into it.
The Albatross
Member
This right here.
Because OP is in disbelief about humanity, I'll flip it around then, OP, why don't you get your life together and have a back up plan when traveling?
Part of what makes your story seem incredible to strangers in a train station is that you're talking about how articulate, well dressed, presentable, with multiple forms of identification, an iPhone, and all of these indications of wealth or personal station, yet ... you don't have another card that you can put $2 on for a train ticket? Or you couldn't walk to another ATM machine outside of the station to try your card... Or go to a convenience store and ask for cashback w/ your card... or any number of things that people in your station would do before begging strangers for money?
That, the new iPhone, and other indicators add to the incredulity of your story to a stranger in the train station, it doesn't give them more reason to trust you. People are very weary of being scammed, and when the person with the brand new iphone asks them for $2, that's sets red flags off for most people.
I definitely wouldn't have lent the OP my phone. I don't let anyone touch my phone, not even friends or family. It's not just a $1000 piece of tech, but it's got a hell of a lot of personal info and sentimental value attached to it. I probably wouldn't have even taken it out in front of him, I've had 'respectable' men snatch my phone from my hands before (to use it to ring their phones so they would have my number).
If I had some spare change in my wallet? Yeah, in this situation, I'd probably have given a few bucks. But, I really don't carry spare change.
I'd be most likely to lend a charger, in this case, but, I have an android phone, charging cables for this thing are a dime a dozen.
I'd honestly be even more suspicious of person if they offered me their passport. I don't know of people in my country who just carry their passports on them all the time (everyone I know keeps them under lock and key until they're flying overseas/need high tier ID). I certainly couldn't tell a fake, and it's so strange to me that you just had it, I'd have turned you down entirely and then probably talked to friends about how weird it was.
If I had some spare change in my wallet? Yeah, in this situation, I'd probably have given a few bucks. But, I really don't carry spare change.
I'd be most likely to lend a charger, in this case, but, I have an android phone, charging cables for this thing are a dime a dozen.
I'd honestly be even more suspicious of person if they offered me their passport. I don't know of people in my country who just carry their passports on them all the time (everyone I know keeps them under lock and key until they're flying overseas/need high tier ID). I certainly couldn't tell a fake, and it's so strange to me that you just had it, I'd have turned you down entirely and then probably talked to friends about how weird it was.
TheSpoiler
Member
OP you don't know the half of it. I'm trying to fix my computer, but the darn thing needs a recovery CD. Which, of course, the dealer did NOT provide.
So I've asked three of my neighbors if I could burn a CD on their PC, but none of them will let me! It's all "I don't have a burner on my CD" yadda yadda. So now I have to wait a week for the recovery CD to get here from Amazon.
The absolute nerve!
So I've asked three of my neighbors if I could burn a CD on their PC, but none of them will let me! It's all "I don't have a burner on my CD" yadda yadda. So now I have to wait a week for the recovery CD to get here from Amazon.
The absolute nerve!
witchedwiz
Member
i'll be honest..
lending you the phone? nope..
letting you make the call with you providing the number and using speakerphone?
well why not..
as strange as your story could have seemed, I've heard worse...
but then again, last time I was in London, I had people not even answering me when I asked for directions......
lending you the phone? nope..
letting you make the call with you providing the number and using speakerphone?
well why not..
as strange as your story could have seemed, I've heard worse...
but then again, last time I was in London, I had people not even answering me when I asked for directions......
GeordieMark
Member
I've been asked to let someone make a call off my phone and I just made sure I dialled the number and held it while they talked. If they really genuinely need to make a call, they won't mind.
Beren the Empty-Handed
Member
Yeah, none of these things would stop a scammer. They'd probably make sure they had all three of those things going for them too, on top of being very nice. The whole goal is to make the person being scammed comfortable, so why wouldn't you do all of these things if that was your goal? It doesn't cost them anything.
Sorry, OP. You may have helped if the situation was reversed, but you came across as a textbook scammer, and I'm not surprised people weren't willing to give you their money. The collateral makes it way worse imo, since that's classic scammer bait. They let you hold on to something you think is valuable, but in reality it's worthless so they never need to come back for it.
dskillzhtown
keep your strippers out of my American football
Yup.. I get the OP is feeling down because he was in need and no one helped, but to continuously shoot down everyone's reasonable explanations why they or the people involved in the situation didn't help makes the thread pointless. It is like the OP just wants a stream of, "Yeah those people are so heartless!", "Poor you man, send me you paypal I'll send you some money right now!" posts.
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